Of all the worlds
I create,
none of them
miss you
miss you

I am not tempted
I willingly choose
I am not sinning
I am committing
I am not hiding
I am exhibiting
I am not wrong doing
I am rightly living
then why
classify
who does what?

Mashed up

               mash up

                             smashed up

                                             crushed up

                                                          got back up

                                                                       glued up

                                                                               suited up

                                                                                        straight up
A
              G
                              A
                                            I
                                                        N

I believe
sometimes
poetry
is a form
of
exorcism

I saw a man
yesterday
staring at the
birds above
circulating
in the sky

I could see
his mind
liberated
in the smile
that slowly
made its way
to his face

I fell
for my
own
assumptions
of you

My heart
left my ribcage empty
sick of self doubt
and feeble bones
it went exploring beyond
its comfort zone
leaving me
with just memories
filling a void of
what was once
love

I used
to use
the use
of you's
for
your muses
..
used
to
use
till I abused it

I have loved you
to a point
where my system
created an orbit
that only revolves
around
you
and you know what
I can
f$%king say it
guilt-free

I always showed you
how I shone
under the sun
but you never noticed
what happens
when I melted

I can make cake
make smiles
happiness too

I can make meals
heart beats
I can make love

I can make drinks
laundry
and poetry

but I can't
make you
love
me
&
It's
OK

They drop
traumas
like
r
r                                         i
                                           i

                                                              ­                        n
                                       ­                                                n
                                a
                             ­    a

I found myself
tracing a silhouette
on a condensed mirror

My towel covered all my insecurities
like a curtain draping
the sickness before
in takes the stage
under the spotlight
before it plays the play
that recurs, rewinds
and re-plays in my head
all day


I traced it with my finger
from head to shoulders
"why are they broader?"
My eyes spotted things
in that mirror that no one saw
but me "should this be scary?"

It took me 13 years to
feast my eyes on what I am about to see
The towel falls
and the mirror haunts me
with it's reality,
or my reality through it
distorted, broken and far from perfect

As my fingers slid on that mirror
shaping  concave lines
along my sides
I wanted them to turn to
scalpels to cut off
those handles
who are the resting place for my lover's hands

I see it, I trace it
"why can't it go away"
my eyes started scanning all my weak points
tattooing hate
on my thighs, belly
arms and back

I felt like scraping my temple
with sandpaper sculpting
thinner pillars
thinner walls
disregarding all sense of logic
all sense that one day
it might crumble


I cannot escape this self inflicted burden
I did not ask for, I was susceptible to perfection
Challenged myself to control
and I won
yet
I lost
madly

Mornings
couldn't come
faster
on days
I know
I'd wake up to
y
      o        
                 u
  
...
           ..............
..........
        ..................
                          ...........
.............

in dream...

I shed my skin
with the
falling leaves
and saw myself
glow
in the dreary
weather of
Autumn

I drew a halo
over your head
to show
the world that side
and keep
the demons for me

I left no stone unturned
now they thank me
for they see
the
sun

It's more
than just
a smile
when my
brain forgets
how to
process

There is something
about grey skies
and cold days
that makes
sadness
warm

False assumptions
lead down
paths
of false
expectations

The day you discover
your power
is the day
you unveil
your life's
true meaning,
kiss it with passion
and wedding it
to become
your life long partner

I got a taste
of your mind
and my
taste buds
developed
a thing for
for your
flavor

I read the same line twice
and surprised myself
with two endings

I don't read signs well
I put myself
in stories with
twists and turns

I kinda go
with my signs
blindly
after all
love is blind

Put your heart
on hold
take a break

Sometimes
it beats
for the
wrong
reason

Break away from the things
that change who you are

Pull the reigns
on your recklessness

Ride through your days
back upright and shoulders straight

Look ahead
squint and let your sight
pierce through your horizon
the vision of your illusioned future
that's as blurry
as your
eye sight

It's more
than just
a blink
when
I dream
in between

Time
untimed
makes
things
timeless

You know that thing
that lingers
in your mind
after you sleep
that burdens you
with heavy eye lids
and dark loud heart beats
that bulk of
"I don't know what"
in your throat..

Say it
for with words,
you have nothing to lose

The acidic aftertaste of *****
scratches its way
down my throat
every time
with every beat
of a broken
heart

It has become
a hallway for passersby
they enjoy the stories
I hung on its walls
and stroll off
to the next
exhibition

What baffles me
is that most of them
do not see
the "home sweet home" sign
that I hung
at the entrance
of
my
heart

You spun me around
like a flower between your fingers
You dusted the remnants off of me
as you blew kisses

You carried me in your hair
as you walked carelessly
but thoughtfully

You gave me to your lover
smiling hoping, I'd give her the same
smile I gave you, when you found me

She smelled me
filling her head with scents
of natural seduction
that made her eyes dilate
and her mouth expand
from each side

"what's this?" she exclaimed
"that's love"
he said

Type, delete
Type, type, type... deleeeete...
Ttttt, ype, dele(type).. delete.

Type, type type (space) type
deeeleeeete...

Cursor blink ...

Hello,
I am she,
a year old
in your
memory...
31 in mine
have we
met before?
it feels
it's just more

We lock things
to keep them safe

We lock them
as plan B

because at that time
we feel unsafe
around them