You wanted
to have your
cake and eat it too
well honey
take a bite
I am spiked

Strawberry frosting
can be deceiving

I looked at the clouds
they moved
gradually

Then I thought
maybe
I have pressed the fast
forward button
on my life
while the earth
is actually
moving
slowly

There is something
about grey skies
and cold days
that makes
sadness
warm

Leave me
basking in the chaos
of my unstable mind
drunk on my fantastical thoughts
high on my imagination
and slowly tripping
into feelings
I know I can
pin down
to reality
with the tip of my
pencil

You're
attractive
when
you're
positive

The sun
still rises
even
when the heart
is still
covered
in the darkness
of the night

... and that's a good thing!

The difference
between
your
&
our
is
"Why"

It doesn't
have to
make sense
to make sense

I am in love
with so much mess
it will take so many years
to sit and contemplate
on why my
heart beats
so fast
at the presence
of chaos

Satisfaction
never laid itself
on a silver platter

As long as I am human
in front of that platter
as long as I will
always ask for
more
more-ness

You're a fool
I will step out
of your zone
and claim
my own
for my galaxy
was too colourful
for such
black holes
Good
Bye

I never doubted that
one day
I'll break in
my new
self

It felt weird
when my heart
left its type
and fell
for a whole
new font
that read
differently

What if
I wrote
about what
I can't talk about
would that make
you
disappear?

Would that
turn me into
a magician?

If I really wrote
what I wanted
to write
I think
I would get close
to meddling
with
fate

Your "OK"
shattered my
"I love you"

"Come to think about it"

That saying that's an invitation

A writer's
worst curse
comes in the
form
of apathy
and that my darlings
is the worst kind
of death

I have so much
I want to say
so much
                I want to write
a lot more

but I find myself
day
  d                          m
          r          a           ­       i                g
                e                  n

w­atching       it              all            like             a               movie

I looked into his eyes
and melted into a sea of emotions
fearless of the unknown
I floated over tears of confusion

I looked into his eyes
and
earthquaked his nerves
shaking his hands
as he ran them through my hair
Tangled
with years passed
and knots of "i don't knows"
I just lay there
quiet
the night
fused my nocturnal sense
with my day time,
this magic over came
all things shy

I am flowing,
floating.. wait
what

My fingers
drew futures on his back
and he was the star that won my heart
My fingers lingered, generating ripples
of goosebumps echoing all what he wanted to say
but couldn't
numb under my control, my magic
my human touch that's so rare today

My breaths created a language
that I and only know how to translate

My eyes, my hands
my body
him, me
night, day
stars
Dawn..

Good morning love,

The acidic aftertaste of *****
scratches its way
down my throat
every time
with every beat
of a broken
heart

I am caught in between
wanting to be
"the one"
for you
and
"that one"
as well

I love myself a chase
a tease
a game.

When they tell me
"we understand"
I take them seriously
because they will always
be under
the impression
that they know

I will not allow you
to replay your
past relationship
featuring me.

Throw that tape
Direct a new one

Scene 1
Take 1

(snap goes the clapped)
cutting all strings
with the past  

SILENCE

....Rolling ....

I used
to use
the use
of you's
for
your muses
..
used
to
use
till I abused it

If you took a stroll
inside my heart
you'd feel
an earthquake
every time
it beats
echoing
his
name

They "One" My Pride

Sleepless nights
prompt me
to spill the day's joys
and sorrows
to the stars that
sit there
staring back at me
shining with understanding

You can fight
yourself
for all the mistakes
that stitched themselves
in your past
but you can also ally
with the aftermath
that molded you
into that sculpture
you are today

My heart
left my ribcage empty
sick of self doubt
and feeble bones
it went exploring beyond
its comfort zone
leaving me
with just memories
filling a void of
what was once
love

It has become
a hallway for passersby
they enjoy the stories
I hung on its walls
and stroll off
to the next
exhibition

What baffles me
is that most of them
do not see
the "home sweet home" sign
that I hung
at the entrance
of
my
heart

I found myself
tracing a silhouette
on a condensed mirror

My towel covered all my insecurities
like a curtain draping
the sickness before
in takes the stage
under the spotlight
before it plays the play
that recurs, rewinds
and re-plays in my head
all day


I traced it with my finger
from head to shoulders
"why are they broader?"
My eyes spotted things
in that mirror that no one saw
but me "should this be scary?"

It took me 13 years to
feast my eyes on what I am about to see
The towel falls
and the mirror haunts me
with it's reality,
or my reality through it
distorted, broken and far from perfect

As my fingers slid on that mirror
shaping  concave lines
along my sides
I wanted them to turn to
scalpels to cut off
those handles
who are the resting place for my lover's hands

I see it, I trace it
"why can't it go away"
my eyes started scanning all my weak points
tattooing hate
on my thighs, belly
arms and back

I felt like scraping my temple
with sandpaper sculpting
thinner pillars
thinner walls
disregarding all sense of logic
all sense that one day
it might crumble


I cannot escape this self inflicted burden
I did not ask for, I was susceptible to perfection
Challenged myself to control
and I won
yet
I lost
madly

I can make cake
make smiles
happiness too

I can make meals
heart beats
I can make love

I can make drinks
laundry
and poetry

but I can't
make you
love
me
&
It's
OK

My lips landed
on yours
I can't wait
to see
where this kiss
will take me

A writer's greatest fear
is being lonely
in his
own
mind

I shed my skin
with the
falling leaves
and saw myself
glow
in the dreary
weather of
Autumn