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2020 was a very unique year for all of us.
The pandemic happened, economy crashed, families separated and people lost their jobs..
2021 was intended to be a hope everyone’s been waiting..
Instead for me, it was a beginning of something I was not really expecting.

Last week of January 2021, my mother was admitted to the hospital,
Due to some lung infection, her breathing was not really that normal.
A week later, she got rushed to ICU and remained there for a few days..
Who would have thought that in there, she would spend her final days..

Upon hearing the news of my mom’s passing, I was in another country that time.
I have lived there for 6 years, had a decent job, a partner and a very simple yet happy life.
The bad news struck me lightning and collapsed..
I saw everything in my hands just slipped and passed..

Borders were closed and going back home would mean leaving everything..
But it doesn’t weigh the loss of my mother, whom for I would do anything
Upon making the decision, I knew the consequences..
My long term partner for 6 years would leave me in sadness..

As I was lying down in Dubai Airport, waiting my 20 hour layover to end,
I was praying to God asking, of all the things, why have all of this happened?
I lost my mom, my job, my partner and everything I have worked hard for,
Is there any lesson you want me to learn, because my eyes now are very sore..

Uncertainties, depression, and overthinking were all in my head
A lot of things have been difficult for me including sleeping on my bed
With everything that’s happening, it’s hard for my future to foresee
How unlucky can a person really be?
Dr Zik Apr 6
Come towards my Lord!
A Zinet to escape from Covid19.
Last Friday,
my feisty Grandma traversed on,
on to her next life.
scented, shrouded,
en route to her forever-home.

She was 80 years young,
living with family.
They were so careful
She never went out
covid still stole her from us
We want her back

It's these f*cking politicians' fault
they eat, sleep, party, vacay
and all I want is my Grandma back
I love and miss you Grandma. I'll pray for you. I'll see you one again in the future, by our Lord's grace. I wish I could have been there with you, face to face, one last time. You know you were loved. You know how much I adored you. I love and miss you so much
flamingogirl Mar 27
Those I love the most
but are psychically distant
know the least about me.
I miss our deep talks and constant life updates. ******* corona virus.
Levita Mar 21
Our Lady Corona ,
Walks in heavy light,
She is the patron saint of the quarantine soul,
The saint of not to close ,
Of yes, of course, if you think so,
Of broken relationships filled with stress fractures,
Of racial violence,
Of No , I ******* think not anymore, not today,
Of lost ambition and found glory,
Of viral dances and memes,
Of shattered vases, hearts, and tears.

Our Lady Corona,
Shepherdess of our own moral ambiguity,
Of our lack of societal value in others,
Of our need to be, exist within our own universe,
Of our lack of empathetic emotional service,
Of our generational divide,
Of our continental divide, of the divide that is the political mainstream.

Our Lady Corona,
Take pity on we poor sinners,
Take pity on those we have wronged by our “snow flake” or “Boomer” additude,
Take pity on the hearts that blacken daily with their lack of remorse and understanding,
Take pity on the break down of human empathy.

For we ask in your name to be passed over,
The great equalizer you bring for some.

But in your wake let me singularly believe,
Not all things, not all people, not forever, just days,
Perhaps, just as all other things , you too shall pass.

LGG 3/19/21
Nie Mar 19
I’m functioning of 2 hours of sleep because I was up until 3 doing the assignments that were ‘easy’ -every teacher said

I have no idea what I’m going to do after school but hey, don’t worry about me
I know how to solve ‘X’

‘You can have fun in the weekend’-they said
But don’t forget
Make the assignments and study all the things you get through the internet

Don’t worry the exams aren’t going to be ‘that hard’
Just make sure to study 10 weeks beforehand

Memorize at first sight and don’t forget
You can also just study a dozen hours
Because who cares about mental health?

A man said
Wait you’re 18, that’s cool
What did you do to celebrate?
Oh, there’s a pandemic going on and you can’t see anybody’s full face?
I mean be happy you aren’t growing up the at the time I was your age.

A woman said
School is going to close for 2 weeks
It’s only temporary don’t get attached
4 months later I graduated through the internet
But hey I’m one of the lucky ones
An extra year of high school now really doesn’t sound that bad.
for any confusion- I graduated high school but took a speciality course which cause me to actually stay an extra year longer in high school haha
Kitty Mar 17
I am a distract yourself from the problem instead of facing things kind of person
I am a ‘the problem’ doesn’t exist unless you think about it person
I am a scared to be alone with their thoughts kind of person
I am the maybe it will just go away kind of person
I am the we can deal with it all another day kind of person
But the lie awake at night not being able to think of anything else kind of person
I am afraid to cry
Afraid to feel
Afraid to tell anyone anything that might make me slightly vulnerable
I can’t procrastinate but I can’t do it right now kind of person
I am the think of all the people you will disappoint kind of person
I am the kind of person where you think about me and realise you actually know nothing about who I am
My secrets
My dreams
My aspirations
I am the don’t tell anyone otherwise you’ll jinx it kind of person
I am the obsessive
I am kind (out loud)
I have emotions that are far to complex to verbalise or comprehend
My weakness is caring
My weakness is not wanting to upset anyone
And I know that sounds like a strength but it internally destroys me when someone says something wrong and I physically can’t open my mouth to verbally respond
And I try my best but its when I’m alone with my thoughts it hurts the most
When I realise there is no podcast, no movie, no Tv show or book to distract me from the inevitable
And you’re probably wondering what the inevitable is
But I don’t know

And that’s what scares me
That’s what keeps me up at night
Maybe a fear of failure
Maybe a build up of all those thoughts I’ve procrastinated thinking about
Maybe all those tears I should probably cry
But I can’t
No because then I’m weak
No because then someone can manipulate me
No because then I show that I’m not strong 100% of the time.
Even when I’m alone
And I don’t know why because I think people that can cry are brave I see their vulnerability as a strength because only the toughest don’t care what people think of them even at their weakest.
Plus crying is beautiful
And feeling is too
Because sadness hurts but happiness is ecstasy
And you can’t truly feel one without feeling the other
I am the fix your problems yourself kind of person
I am the don’t be a liability kind of person
I am the don’t weigh people down with your thoughts kind of person  
I have no idea but every idea of who I am as a person
Number of cases
up and
down
up and
down
will it last forever?
no!
it had a beginning
it will have an
end!!!
A Mar 5
This - getting glimpses of all that could have been - it is torture for the soul
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