bun in the oven,
trophies in the attic.
i used to be a beast,
still am in the office.

bad shades and good vibes
are what we used to sell
from fast car windows,
pre-straightened edge.

no more just getting by,
we're gonna do better
than what i had to do
to please the 'rents, if that.

bathroom mirror is worn,
stains on the counter
from hidden faces
and powdered noses.

cool, calm, collected,
clearly a success now
just don't check the
top bedside drawer.

Hopes and dreams are fairytales
In pictures from your head
The softness in your face’s veil
Is made of stone instead

Sleepy eyelids weigh the scene
Of faulty truths and lies
Crawling through a limousine
Makes up for sorry eyes

There’s sadness in the grinning teeth
And from the tone of mind
A squinted smile and happy cheeks
Are sometimes hard to find

watch over the colony
shedding their lives
to pay for a lend

cover your ears
don't humor the calls
but cully the fear

"please, we are freezing
there's not enough food
our children are ill"

hush little ones
your leaders have failed
shame on the lot

this is your trial
and We are the judges
sitting on hands

These streets
are home to countless
rodents
emerging for a moment
to feed
or breed
or just to breathe the sun

One by one line up
for the chance to
make something
out of nothing

Who are they and
where do they go
while the city refuses to
sleep

Doors to endless lands
line the avenue
each its own portal to the
unimagined

A family of four
with the yapping mutt
or a lonely cat lady
whose entryway wreaks of *****,
a drug dealer
door slamming
every hour on the hour
or an empty snowbird's nest

On the surface
everyone pretends
they don't have a hole to
crawl back to
or walls that know
every night

But below the sewer grate
a world filled with
the stench
of what could have been a
good day

Many a barkeep can
shed some life
on these drunkards'
rat king
or at least a story of those who
made it out

Once or twice it'd be grand
to see the bottom of a martini glass
left with a sip or two
instead of the casually tipped
lipstick-clad cocktail,
drained of doubt and despair
until morning warms the
frozen dreams
of those retired to
a paradise unknown

Blank faces, hopeless dreams
Scattered down the boulevard
Thank the barren local streets
That shatter thoughts of working hard

Lonely moms, dying friends,
Barefoot children in the dark
Play behind a chain-link fence
Instead of in the park

Fast food & news stations
Feed on troubled minds
Claiming that the stipulations
Are changing with the times

These days you can’t wake up
Without that cup of Joe
Problems all those drugs shake up
Most people never know

even though
you’re halfway
across the world
by now

it still feels
like we’re at
opposite ends
of the same room

Nothing turns this angel down
Excellence, in the flesh
And if they try, an evening gown
In satin works the best

Is beauty deeper than the skin?
Surely she'll impress
Instead of showing what's within
She forces you to guess

Eyes of gold been tarnished brown
By tears that have been wept
Dark and shining locks abound
Make up for shades not kept

Sin runs red in times of blue
Every angel's seen
Temptation's there to carry you
When you have lost your wings

Consider but the outside shell
For that is most well-known
Appearing to be straight from hell
To garnish feelings shown

How could she be so mean, you ask?
What makes her be so spiteful?
Why can't she see it's not a mask
That makes her feel delightful?

Lies frozen, held through time
In silent desperation
Hiding at the scene of crime
A ****** confrontation

To free the memories from her head
Would unleash such a fear
She'd rather end the night instead
As not to feel him near

Ah, here's the one; the big bad wolf
That's haunted all her dreams
Whom proved too well by wearing wool
All are not as they seem

But I am ****, but skin and fur
And showing her my core
And telling her the parts that hurt
While donning nothing more

He's changed her mind, she's cast astray
But I could be the shepherd
To keep the hungry wolves at bay
As countless dogs endeavored

One light can only shine so much
Before the flame has died
To reignite it just a touch
Of love might satisfy

Surely there is nothing worse
Than feeling left to dry
Entrapped within a lover's curse
And never knowing why

Well, in defense of self-defense
I must admit it's snide
To hang a face upon the fence
Until you've picked a side

It's safe, my friend, just be yourself
Strip down to nothing hidden
And let emotion feed your health
By eating the forbidden

A heart must be coaxed from its hide
With tenderness and passion
In order for the passersby
To notice what has happened

From way out here it's hard to tell
But underneath a soul
That liberates a girl of twelve
Longs for a soul to hold

To hold would mean to carry, too
When harsh times rear their heads
To be the one to follow through
When love needs to be fed

But most of all it means to dress
With confidence or loathing
Just make sure you can impress
A saint in Sinner's clothing

Way back in August you had said to me
That if I ever try to leave
You'd follow me to heaven and through hell
Well now I'm on my way to see
How far the stars will carry me
And you've been left behind with doubts to quell

So please excuse my destiny
And with a hint of courtesy
I'd like say to you, I wish you well
Would love for you to be with me
Out here where all the world is free
Instead of staying stuck inside your shell

See you around then, once again
Say goodbye to this old friend
I tried to show you love, you weren't interested
Give me a sign then, take my hand
Show me where our love has been
I won't be hangin round til then
See you around, my friend

I made it through the fire it seems
With just a couple third-degrees
And now my skin is tough enough to tell
That if you can't hold on to me
And trust the man that's underneath
Then there's no way to save you from yourself

So have fun searching endlessly
Keep wading through the male debris
To try to find a man to break the spell
I'm sure that your friends all agree
You're happier when you're with me
Too bad you've made the choice to say farewell

See you around then, once again
I'll say goodbye to you, old friend
I tried to show you love, you weren't interested
Give me a sign then, take my hand
Show me where our love will stand
I won't be hangin round til then
See you around, my friend

It's heavy on the head,
that letting-go part.

The whole,
"We need some time apart;
it's just too draining.
Maybe in a few years we can see
how much you are
and where we want to go
from there."

Figures.
Always running the show,
always giving me a hard time,
lifting me up
just to slam me down,
whooping my *** while I'm
sprawled out like roadkill.

(Though it's so hard to turn away...)

The lies are told to desperate ears,
making the pickings ever sweeter.

Thanks for the pick-me-up!
Now where's the put-me-back-down?
When do we plummet
way past our infamous goals
to the deeply imagined?
More than a fair share of fun
for the measly price of living!

Too many goodnights
haunted by negativity,
when sleep is better
than anxiety.

(The real test is when it decides to show its face again...)

Bah,
that won't be for a while,
at least until I've
made a name for myself
in some...
other way.

Once the mirror shows beneath
the tailored suede suit;
then we'll see who separates the lazy
from the dead.

I wonder if there will be a day
when I can wake up,
sure that there will be no more
condescendence
from my craft.

Why not unleash the roaring flames
that have warmed your heart for so long now?
Giving in to passion may ignite our lives
like the fusion of heated elements
to create a star

Floating through the void is much less pragmatic
without the perfect appeal of a complimentary pole
Do not be afraid to pull me closer
for I am careful to keep my astral course with yours
A spectroscopic alliance
as of a binary star
soaring beside, never to collide

What’s this! what furious outrage
dares to challenge the bond that is unmatched,
unscathed by the push and pull of attraction
throughout the infinite abyss known
as life and leisure?

A supernova of despair;
a plea for renewed harmony

Well, I will bare the storm of ultraviolet waves
with arms folded at chest
protecting the stellar core that is yours to behold
Yours to claim
once the cosmic dust has settled
Once devotion has conquered

In the depths of my self
lies a world so lucid and bright,
so in tune with itself
where your eyes,
unwavering in the face of event horizon,
sparkle with such starlight
as bright as days of old

I see you there
and nothing else exists

I’m sure it’ll be a great party
even though I’m dressed like a Barbie
it’s all in good fun
I won’t drink more than one
and they probably won’t even card me.

I’m sure the flyers aren’t serious
the cover girls all look delirious
the guys all wear suits
while the women “let loose”
but I can’t justify the criteria.

I’m sure it was one great big joke
the way your fraternal friends spoke
it wasn’t the way
you called me your bae
it’s just that I’ve never been groped.

I’m sure it wasn’t your fault
and it wasn’t really assault
so let’s just forget
the ***** and the sweat
and take it with a grain of salt.

I’m sure there’s nothing to fear
and in nine months to a year
we’ll give in to fate
and when you graduate
we can shack up and share a career.

Now I’m sure I was being naive
turns out your name wasn’t Steve
and all the support
you swore not to retort
leaves me nothing to do but to grieve.

To Whom it May Concern,

My blood begins to burn
and I’m compelled to spurn
the current plans to turn
our mascot to a worm.

The members from my firm
cannot stay taciturn
when our alumni learn
that strangers overturned
the past we had governed
because they’re all stubborn,
seeking to be modern
and spread, exploit and churn
their folly and their germs.

I urge you to discern
the consequence you’ll earn
unless you can confirm
our legacy long-term.
We will not adjourn
until it’s reaffirmed
that history is stern
and keeps our old pattern.

If you do not concur
and submit to our terms,
then surely you will yearn
for courtesy interns
as funding will downturn
and we will watch you squirm
like spiders in an urn
at the point of no return.

Sincerely, Dr. Kern

the heat is unbearable
but not like the cold,
without the chance to
gather my bed
for a long slumber

this meal tastes like
ice and poison,
why would they
eat this junk?
then again
maybe they don’t

just a little higher,
i can totally reach
the brim
where the small heads
look on with glee

i wouldn’t hurt anyone,
and i forgive all the
voyeurs
for sacrificing their
time to watch me
survive

i just want to
go home

shiny ‘vette
velvet walls
noontime cabaret

passing by, bye

cigarette
cell phone calls
boot mark to the face

push and pull
take the cake
climb to the top!

rise at the top!

wallet’s fat
bank account swells
now some time to wait

nice and full
got it made
winding the clock!

(winding the clock!)

scratching backs
fingernails smell
now i'm turning grey

take my dime,
not my time

what was that?
slot machine bells
not for me today

or any day

one more sip
of lemonade
when will it stop?

when will it stop?
when will it stop?
when will it stop?

when will it?

Holding hands to cross the street
Feel the sand under my feet
The way you twirl me, like a cotton candy man
I feel so girly as you wind each curly strand

When I'm growing up too fast
And the world demands a lady
You remind me of my past,
Though it often might evade me

Summer days and autumn leaves
Wading through the endless trees
The way you hold me when I just can't sleep at night
I lay there coldly as you slowly soothe my mind


After all is said and done,
So thankful you're the one
To bring back the daughter in me

as you gracefully swing
in the breeze, with a chill
that simply brings us
closer to the way we want
to be.

The rivers can wait
til you choose the time
and let your hair down
to glimmer and flow in
the sun.

The birds can hush
and sleep soundly
tonight in the warmth of
your song that makes
young ones dream.

The bees have only
the second best sweets
compared to the scent
of your hugs on
my arm.

The stars won’t do
on an evening like this
when your eyes hold
the shine of a dozen
lives lived.

My heart can stop
and gasp in awe
as your love tickles
mine like a nuzzle
or sneeze.

And I can rest lightly
in blissful glee with
the thought of your
lips pressed up next to
my cheek.

graham ******* mud pie at pop's,
rest his soul
the rush of new friendships,
the faith in letting go

reading when you’re lonely,
chillin' while you’re old,
rivers in the blinding heat,
campfires in the cold

car rides with the windows down,
jogging with the pooch,
biking through a foreign town,
stealing a native smooch

gum drops,
lemon heads,
marshmallow peeps,
sunday dinner,
carnivals,
local meet-and-greets

snow days,
warm winter days,
soup to ward the flu,
paydays,
big-puppy days,
and coming home to you

In these notes
Are countless tales
Of memories, tried & true

But not a word
From endless books
Compares to me & you.

The turn of phrase,
Or so it goes,
Says all begins anew

I’ll be right here
’Til your last page
And in the next one, too.

expose the fear
without a word
just show receipts
and it crumbles

sound the fife
whence you’ve found
a new tuppence
beneath the throne

watch your back
or feel revenge
bite your tongues
and swallow them

don't you forget
who’s in charge
and whoever else
thinks they are

take the name
in every land
from subtle cues
to ration life

i used to have this
friend
we would go outside
during the days
after the bell

one game we played
was kind of like
hunting
except it didn't
feel natural

lizard brains
were easy enough
to catch and ****
without a second
thought

we would stuff their
mouths
with explosives
then find and burn
the remains

until that time he
accidentally blew off
his own hand

Under the sheets of emotional armor,
A shy little girl masquerades as a martyr.
She’s the Queen of Deceit with her lies getting smarter,
While every tale told draws her self even farther
From finding out why she’s emotionally bothered
By all of the men in her life: like her father
Who only was trying the best for his daughter
And striving to be something more than a pauper
But coming up short. Who knows how much harder
He’d try if she wasn’t an argument starter?
The guilt and the shame from the family slaughter
Has made her insane and continues to bar her
From finding out just what the world has to offer.

Luckily she won’t have to be here much longer;
In fairy-tale land, there's nothing can harm her.

She suddenly finds herself all alone
With nobody’s thoughts to address but her own.
This is the time when she’d pick up the phone,
Demanding a savior to hear her bemoan
About all the problems that she’s ever known,
But what she doesn’t know is a friend can’t atone
For the lack of a man with his patience to loan
To a lost little girl whose bad temper is known.
All she needs is a strong one that doesn’t condone
All the treacherous lies and the hatred she’s shown.
It’s hard to deny all the reaping she’s sewn.
She’ll have to tread soft lest her cover is blown
And everyone finds out she still hasn’t grown
Through the hundreds of tempers and tantrums she’s thrown.
Hopefully soon she can bury the bone
And calm herself into a nostalgic zone
Where smiles and candles were filling her home
And love and affection were all that was loaned.

Enlightenment comes when you realize you’re prone
To the wrath of the heartache that comes with the throne.

Even sweetest muse
cannot carry the burden
which singing of you
drops on pearly gates.

Given the choice between
heaven or hell,
you have chosen the path
that leads to a better place
for everyone involved.

Demonic swathes attempt to
steady themselves
for the barrage of good fortune
that sight of you brings
to the condemned and their kin.

I hate it when you do that;
the way you dissolve a
malignant thought
with some melodious sentence,
whatever it may be.

Your voice
is the judgement in my mind's courtroom
that breaks the shackles
holding my ego hostage,
where flowers do not bloom
and hope is six feet from reality.

Sunlight on my grinning face
Follows me from place to place
But it won’t do
Don’t know how long I can wait
Wandering this empty space
Searching for you

Up and down the barren coast
Listen as the riptide rolls
With so much to say
Probably what hurts the most
Is knowing when you’re so **** close
And still so far away

Once per while I catch a glimpse
Of unintended fleeting hints
To call out your name
Won’t make much a difference
Words don’t carry far upwind
It’s always the same

In the breeze
I see it’s just the wind
It’s a tease
To be at the shoreline again

Shepherd, call the sheep back home
Be thankful that you’re not alone
Round em up one more time
My, how much the herd has grown
With wool to warm your gentle soul
Leave no soul behind

they say there is more to learn than not.
that children are the future.
shaping young minds is
most admirable.
working through ways
for a few hours
makes up for lifetimes without.
the gift of knowledge
makes all the difference.

it is not our place to
tell them how to be.
we can only show them

once money don't matter
then it's all about the clout

i think he was a delivery guy
building four, number 2
across the walk

a moped with one of those
cage attachments
for carrying food
or packages
or whatever

one time i brought over a
loose hammer found near
his bike and caught a
glimpse through the door

gray couch,
folding chairs,
table full of wires
nothing out of the ordinary
same layout as ours

white Hats barreled in
before we could react
the dog was first
then my brother
then me

guess they had some bad intel

Living in this yellow box filled with aging trinkets
A lonely guy trying to get by just hasn't sealed the link yet
Bout a cup of milk left in the fridge and God forbid I drink it
A shaggy dog; that ***** hog, why can't they smell the stink yet?
The junk comes barreling through the door so fast that you can blink it
There's no more room for gloom and doom, but let's fit one more inkjet
They just got rid of dinnerware,  a silver and a pink set
So now to hoard an ancient sword, a blender and a mink set
Five garbage bags of someone's clothes, the sixth one's in the sink, wet
With lots of cans and pots and pans, we'll reach the jagged brink yet
They're trying to let go, said there ain't no space to think yet
They're workin hard to raise the bar, ain't  worked out all the kinks yet

Pressed for time and low on space
****** I need to get out of this place...

Those bless'd cheeks
Are donned by God
As angels seek
Their latest garb

A rose would be
Confused as such
If ever seen
Beside your blush

A sacred tune
Erupts from when
A kiss is due
To praise your skin

The finest silk
The fur of cubs
Are not the ilk
Of your soft love

I'd gladly brace
A thousand thorns
To brush your face
But once each morn

And fear thee not
For age would come
And I'll have caught
The two-for-one

budding thoughts of newer days
on post-its everywhere
each behold a simple life
that should be made to bear

tiny futures made of ink
that whistle under hands
wait until they’re asked to speak
as more the world demands

if every human from the earth
fulfilled their ecstasy
then nothing would be hungered for
and none would cease to be

we’ll search the journals and the notes
if we can do a thing
for those who can’t or those who won’t
to live under a wing

to wish is but to live or die
and you’ve been last to know
the nights are cold and days are dry
so write them as you go

If you could see us now,
huddled up
on this bathroom floor
like the wet towel in the corner,
a most-likely-used toilet brush
covered in
ash & hair
is the next closest thing
in arm's reach
to a real statement.

You want to know what it's about?
You do not
want to know what it's about.

To dunk those
pearly whiteheads
in oil and expect
a brighter shine
would just be silly.

Take the bedazzlings from
their feet
and what is left to judge
that which they do not
want to know?

𝄆   suffer  |  survive  |  sing   𝄇

there won't be many shrouded gowns
or tears or tales to tell
above a bed with tiny frowns
to watch my carcass swell

perhaps a friend or cousin
no colleagues from past tense
i'd be shocked to see a dozen
if i don't outlast the 'rents

don't go too far out of way
or bring a spot of gin
just to watch my bones decay
and sorrow o'er my skin

kiss my head or curse or bawl
i won't know whose farewell
staring at a furnace wall
while looking up from hell

for now i'm lying here to show her
i can’t bear without your face
who knows if you'll need closure
i'll be dressed for just in case

i’d have lived for you but only
let's not talk about regrets
i'll wish you'd never known me
but hate to think you might forget

doesn’t matter

it’s the fact that
every last one of

you

thinks we shouldn’t
and that’s where
you’re wrong

give us an alternative
that will raise the bar
that high
that fast
from that little

you can’t

i don't blame you for not trying

There's no way out
It's too late, now that I've found you
Caught beneath a falling cloud
I'm drenched in love when I'm around you

Don't make a sound
Or let the noisiness compound you
Wading through the drawing crowd
Dressed for those who might surround you

Bring me back to somber days
When you were there to light my way
Like a mid noon cabaret
You give my world a needed change
Now that all the dues are paid
I'm not afraid
To sing your serenade

Icy breath snatches my tongue
Holding on to thoughts about you
Await the rays of morning sun
That melt away the nights without you

Take me back to yesterday
When you were there to light my way
Tomorrow's only years away
With time to blend the shades of gray
And still I see
The way you look at me
When I sing your serenade