This weather usually bothers me. I don't know if it's the time of year, The season itself, Lack of sunlight, Or a concoction of the three, But something always changes. Maybe the breeze touches my bones, Freezing my brains, Slowing me down, And making me sad. Maybe the chilled breath Of death himself Against my veins Makes my instincts Scream to bury myself alive On a field of landmines.
I feel my body jolting, I can't get away, I'm locked in my bed, Depression, Eating me away, Part of me feels everything, and the other part, Stops me, Frozen in place, What do I do, I need to go, But I can't, *******, Move.
Dear diary, god do you have any pity for that of the sinner? For I know how small my existence is and it hurts me lord. All I wish is to be free from the isolation of my mind. Diary,is it wrong to wish that those who hate me to have enough power to destroy me? Truly I do wish for my demons inside to be defeated but unfortunately god I seem to have become them. Diary,can I truthfully be stopped from throwing my life away?
The physical and mental burdens I carry,will they finally **** me? Surely im not overthinking my pain,rather underselling it? I crave for my body to be torn to shreds,made into a completely new being,one worth no mans lips uttering the name of. Am I worth such desolate power? Is it evil to wish to be alone,is it evil to wish for others to feel the same as me? Is it wrong to hate this flesh I live in? My greatest fantasy is to be in the comradery of death. Diary,am I becoming the devil? Or do I rather shadow the agony of **** I seek to bring.
this was a bizarre speech i wrote a long time ago that i turned into a poem
they ask me do you want to get better? do you intend on bettering yourself? will you get better? truth be told i dont know i've bit at my nails till the blood runs down my wrist i've cracked all my bones till my knuckles were red i've dug at my skin till i bruise and no answer draws from the marks i leave so maybe they should leave me alone because i cant write the answer in skin and bone