we need
to be
careful,
when it's me
and you,
it's infinity
and beyond,
and we want
to settle
here,
in each others''
arms.

when you
conceal
and not tell
the whole truth,

you leave me
in a position
where I can
forget,
but can't forgive.

you envy me for my resilience,

but you forget
the way I break harder than needed.

i need you,
i need; you.

sip up your emotions,
swallow the days,
because what sparks
at night also dies
in the morning,
reflect on your
beating heart
and what made
it stop mid-way.

I had to let it out.
Slowly; *those thoughts started to suffocate me.

I had to do it.
Quickly; those feelings took control over me.

I had to do it because I didnt want to have to live it.

It started with;
one cut, just one.
just another one,
just other more.

My soul was stabbed, my heart was hurt and my body was scarred.

And my thoughts filled the room ;they became the air particles I breathe.

They would give me freedom to live; but the bonds they had on me would pull me back everytime I tried to **run away.

you whisper words to me
of sweetness that is so
unrecognizable,
but definitely bearable ♥️

I think I gave you
a little too much of my soul,

I think I may have let go
of myself a little too soon,

I don't think I loved you,
I think I just really didn't know what love is.

Don't be afraid of changing,
sometimes the best breaks are taken in the middle of the road,
they can spontaneous and unplanned, but quite needed.

I find inspiration in the alleys
of my mind,
with late night walks
and roads that I've walked on before,
almost too many times,
and also too many may regret,
but is it really regret
when I am still walking
with my mind inspiring the night..

At first,
I thought you
were special
because you made
my heart play
beautiful melodies,
it turns out that
my heart is the
special one
because it plays
beautiful melodies.

tears drip from my eyes
while a laugh escapes
from my mouth,
this isn’t sadness,
this isn’t joyousness,
this comes from knowing
that people leave,
life makes you go through changes,
yet my poor heart
keeps on hurting.

i think of you
and the way you
stopped me before we entered
any place, just to hold me up and kiss me

honey
drips
out
of
your
words,

you melt
all my walls
down
and sugar coat
this heart
of mine

I look at you,
and wish that I could feel like I need you,
but I don't,
and that hurts because
it's never easy to walk away
from someone you're supposed to love.

I remember how the meters
between us were decreasing
each and every day we spent together,
it was fun to call it love,
but what kind of love pours oceans
and puts continents between hearts?

I wont turn you down even when you have let me down multiple times and continue to,

and that's the only thing we both can count on.

I can't seem
to find the thing
to satiate a need
in me that is yet
to be met,

it's the type of hunger
food can't reduce,

it's the type of pain
that holds unrequited love
for you,

it's like a memory you
want to store in your mind
of a moment that didn't occur,

it's like a fractured ground
waiting for the rain to come
down so flowers can grow
from within the cracks,

it's like love that you give
but never receive back fully,

it's like cold weather and short day time
that beg for some white,
yet it never snows,

it's like not being able
to find the name of the song
whose melody is stuck in your head,

it's like a battle that you lose
before you even get to play.

she is the happiest girl
on the playground,
when the hurt is the
most in her heart,
blood flows through
her veins,
but so does a brutal reality,
her kidneys ran out
of tears,
so laughter is the
only thing that pours
out of her.

I'm falling through
the cracks in the ground,
the ground beneath me has never been stable,
but sometimes,
after a cry or two,
I become a Bamboo plant,
turns out I don't need the light as much as I need to cry.

please don't
doubt how
much love
for you
resides in
this heart
of mine,

and,

please take
good care
of the heart
that lies
in the palms
of your hands.

Is it that hard to be loyal?

you make me mad,
out of mind,
you make me want
to lose my
**** over you, but
no thanks,
you aint **** anyways.

the 31st of every month
is meant to give you
one more chance
to cease the moment
and enjoy every breath
before the cycle ends,

the 31st of every month,
is a time to finish your to do-list,
even to start writing one
and to prepare before the
calendar folds its pages again,

the 31st of every month,
is a reminder that you
don't have to stop counting
at 10, 20, or 30,

the 31st of every month,
is a good citizen,
because it gives
more than it takes,

just ask February where its
30th has gone,
and it will tell you
how it retired and
took off with
the 31st.

I just want to be happy today
I don't care if this feeling doesn't last until tomorrow

I just want to grow a pair of wings
and fly with you

I just want to feel peace
lingering from my mind

I just want to inhale
something other than overthinking
and cold dry air.

Thought number one.
I need to stop overthinking.

Thought number two.
I need to stop thinking about overthinking.

Thought number three.
I am thinking about not thinking.

Thought number four.
Thinking hurts. Not thinking hurts. Overthinking hurts. Everything hurts.

my thoughts shiver
because ive gotten
sick to my stomach
from all the mess
inside my heart

looked for you
for 21 years,
wondered
what you were
up to when some
nights felt lonely,
saw you in
every person
I came across
everyday,
thought about
your existence
way too many times,
and many times
more I taught
myself not to,
and here you are,
a call away,
your touch;
a hug away,
your presence;
a heart beat away.

My dear
the future
is new,
it's the unknown
that you probably want to explore,
so go ahead,
move on,
move forward,
live for the present
and reach for what's awaiting you,
leave all behind
that belongs
to the past
and the gone,
be one with the wind,
let it move you
as if your entities
were made of sand,
scatter into
what's meant for you
and who's the one for you.

I loved you

through the bitter

and you loved me

through the sweet

I am still the same person
under the breakdowns,
                              makeups
   and everything in between.

my heart is too full of itself,
it has got so much love to give,
does that scare you away?

hold onto
my pain
even if you
cause it,

comfort me
just as you
hurt me,

that's the bare
minimum I will fall for

I'm sincerely sorry
that you felt how much
I don't want to be here,
it wasn't my intention
to open your eyes to the truth,
because truth is just a perspective after all
and to you all my perspectives are wrong.

I hope that when you make a list of all of your favourite things, I’m somewhere on the top of your list.

I  don't  know
    if last summer
           was a mistake,
a self-discovering journey,
                                       or both.

the feeling of
uncertainty
creeping up
my spine
makes my
head twirl
in an attempt
to keep all
my thoughts
in place.

You messed up my heart,
and yet when I look at it,
it's such a beautiful mess.

Hurt,
is not a feeling,
but rather a process,
it’s wanting to burst out
in laughter when you fall
for the same trap twice,
and shedding tears
when you least expect it,
it’s being able to experience
emotions that you thought you had lost
touch of, sight of,
it’s looking at yourself
in the mirror
and loving the broken
version as much as the healed one.

nobody prepares you
for the day
you lose
your self-worth,

nobody tells you,
"just because you can
do something, doesnt mean you should"

ready to give it all up,
ready to let you go,
when did it become so easy?

I am starting to feel it again,
an alarm going off, right after
a red flag if fluttered,
except my flight or flight is not quite excited,
I am stuck in-between,
contemplating flight or fight,
confused on what comes next,
dissonant about the rationality of my decisions,
and afraid of the consequences of my actions,
filled with thoughts, filling with thoughts,
and overflowing with thoughts.

the days stay
the moments don’t

If you were a river,
I should never be your friend,
because you're not a river,
you're just an ocean that likes to pretend.

I was never introduced
to the feeling of shame
until a man knew
of a secret of mine

You held onto me,
like a child in a store holding onto a toy
he can't possibly afford,
walking with it aisle to aisle,
playing with it for as long as he possibly can,
then hiding it in a corner,
out of sight,
so that it's there to play with the next time he pays a visit,

you see, it was his, even if it was just for a little while.

You were no sunshine
in a golden hour,
but you did blind me
from every golden thing

I don't know what is easier,
staying in a burning house,
or watching it burn.