This nice guy pretense will wear off soon,
I’ll avoid you, lie to you, and keep secrets from you,
I’ll not even let you know that I’m engaged to someone,
I’m a nice guy; I’ll let you find it on Instagram,
And when you question me, I’ll explain it to you in nice words,
‘Look I’ve found someone else so you –’
I’m a nice guy; I won’t fill in the blanks,
I’ll let you fill in the blanks (you ***** who wasn’t good enough for me),
I’ll leave you broken, shattered and disappointed for life,
But still, at the end of the day, I’m a nice guy.
Can we talk about the word trigger
Because people are dumb
Teenagers say they are triggered when
They don’t want to write a paper
They miss a goal in soccer
They drop their phone
That is called being annoyed or disappointed
That is not triggered
A trigger is an emotional allergy
Some that triggers distress or panic
A trigger is loud noises cause a panic attack
Hey dysphoric trans girl,
I see you.
Your outfit is really cute today.
And I'm really proud of you for getting
Our of bed with such grace.
The weight of dysphoria is heavy
Let me carry it with you.
You're essential to the world we live in.
You're more than a trending topic.
Your bodies existence is a radical act
And it's survival is worthy of celebration
Being able to still be disappointed
Means you are engaged in your life.
You are an active player.
Every part of you is a girl.
Especially the part you don’t like today.
Your voice, hands, and feet are feminine
What else could they be
A dysphoric trans boy
how disappointing it is
to pour your entire heart into someone
and get none of them in return
this is just the way it is,
if you happen to see this, just know that i am disappointed. whatever that means to you, just know.
Why did you have to make me hate myself for loving you?
Why do I have to live with the memories of you when all I want to do is forget?
Why did you have to destroy all I ever thought of you?
Why did you make me lose every hope in love?
Sometimes it's not the break up that destroys you but it's everything after that. Sometimes you don't know a person if you've never been in a difficult situation. And when you see the distance and cruelty you're just disappointed.
Written on August 21, 2019
I thought you are who not you are. I'm such a fool and idiot.
I'm very disappointed.
When you let someone in, they can let you down.
And when you get let down, you fall.
You fall hard and it hurts.
It hurts to feel that you were betrayed.
It hurts to know that someone you had trusted only told you lies.
It hurts to realize that you were stupid.
You opened yourself up, took down your walls for someone.
Someone you thought would be there for you.
But it turns out that they weren't.
So you fell.
And it hurt.
And no one is there to help you get back up.
Sometimes you is all you have.
And sometimes you have to be enough.
When I was a youth
I expected the world to be good to me,
I expected people to treat me fairly, kindly and justly,
and I was disappointed, hurt and angry
when I was treated unfairly, unkindly and unjustly.
Now that I am wiser
that people are broken and suffering
and struggling to cope with life,
and they care more about their own survival and pleasure
than they care about being kind, fair and just to me,
so I no longer expect the world to be good to me
and I no longer feel disappointed, hurt and angry;
Now I feel compassion for people
And I take responsibility
to treat people fairly, kindly and justly,
and I make my best attempt
to lead people to treat me fairly, kindly and justly.
After waiting all my Life
To be your Lover
And it was over
I hate it when Life
From "MRS ELIZ: WHEELER, UNDER THE NAME OF THELOST SHEPHERDESS" by Robert Herrick:
--'Tis true, said I; and thereupon
I went to pluck them one by one,
To make of parts an union;
But on a sudden all were gone.
tired won’t justify this
my heart is hollow
i help my friends to be who they are
to feel good inside,
but i’m left with nothing
no thank you’s , no ‘are you okay’
and when they do ask is out of sympathy. they don’t really care
they just want to ask back because when you ask how are you to someone, don’t you feel like they have to say it back?
when my friends cry, i cry, when they fear, i fear and when they feel love, i feel love
but do they ever express gratitude?
they use me like a toy
once you’re happy you leave me behind
you don’t even bother to ask how i am.
the feeling of being disappointed is reaching every where within my body and i just want everything to stop
you might think i’m selfish. for wanting credit for your happiness
i just want to feel like i’m needed, appropriated, loved.
to feel like a friend and not just a paper you write your feelings on.
tired won’t justify this.
yea I don’t know.