You'll get hurt and disappointed too much
That's what you get when you care too much
When you expected too much
You aren't the first to tell me that...
So I'm trying to forgive and forget.
But it's hard.
It's hard when someone you love
Tells you that your feelings aren't reasonable.
Like I don't already know that...
Feelings aren't always about logic and fact.
Sometimes people just feel things.
Sometimes for stupid reasons.
You don't have to understand why.
I just thought you cared enough
To want to make me feel better.
Instead you let me return to my head
And torture myself for hours.
You left me there when I just needed
To be held for a moment.
I just needed to hear
That everything was okay.
I just needed to know
That you still loved me,
And that you didn't want me to be uncomfortable.
I know all that should be a given.
Sometimes a gentle reminder just helps...
And keeps me out of the dark.
I'm trying my best to not be
The anxious, self conscious mess
That I always am.
I want to turn it off...
But I don't always win that fight,
And I'm really sorry...
And I already hate myself enough
Every time I do fail.
Please don't give up on me too...
humans are complex beings
they can talk,
they can make tools,
and they can do just about
whatever they want
but they are born into a world
of luxuries and disappointments
This is my very first poem I ever wrote. It is dated to 2008, I was 10 years old.
I got taken aside
told that I had won in life
offered roses as a token.
I never liked roses.
who could sleep on a night like this?
how could you not stay awake?
whilst I wander amidst these wildfires
you started by mistake
anger rage discontent
I can't speak loud
Sun that hide behind the clouds
Sight keeps going down
In emptyness, I've drown.
Are we really friends??
Attention you can't lend
Metal that can be bent
Bond made by lie, with rust it ends.
Fibers in my chest are weak
Fragile vase that leaks
Mask that is tough and fierce
You got me mentally and emotionally pierced.
I'm in happiness, but also in pain
Inside my vase, a world with an unending rain
When flood over flows, through my eyes it drains,
Behind a mask, it can be hidden and leaves no stain.
its a big mistake for me to fall inlove with some one who can never love me back...
those desperate pokes
The shakey nature
Of made up favors
To Make the devil
Weak in the knees
As he does me,
So what if you suffer
You are but a drop
In an endless sea
No one will notice
When you drop
And you bleed
Just a mixture of rage and pain in threw up when I felt too much and thought my chest was gonna implode.
I saw her
Tried my best not to feel
Not to move
Not to think
Numbing my heart
Then she sent a message
The heart felt pain and joy
Sorrow and gladness
Pleasure and pain
Then sent a message in reply
To show a bit of care
Hoping for a poison of pleasure
She replied with silence
Cold and loud silence
Maybe i got to much spice for yah
Or you just ain't a fan of spicy food
Not sure why your starving me
There are plenty of spices too choose
You got me on that mood
I dont wanna be fighting you
Never wanted to, but you digging in
Was too low from you
Somebody else has dirter hands in all this
Who finally stepped up to take care of you
Its just perfect all at my expense
Wouldn't want it any other way
Maybe it was my mistake.
What are you going to do?
If your counting now
Start count with the people close to you
Figure out which one helped you.
But whats the past
I'm just following the future
That's something you knew from day one
Where are you?