I never thought I would lose you
I thought you would be in my life forever
until something evil took you away from me
I never got to say goodbye
I never got to kiss you one last time
hear your voice one last time
the devil took you away from me
Here, in this sacred space...
...where curtains and breeze
.....dance and tease,
...no words are uttered, i hear nothing
.........except my breathing
eyes roam, legs are crossed, as if to rule,
determined....as a stubborn mule
here in this sacred space, i have a regular
dialogue with my Creator....my Saviour,
through His mysterious ways, He speaks to me
i am drawn to a quietude that flows from Him.
...........this noiseless space talks to me...
it's not the words...something else takes over
.....and enfolds me........especially, when
fragmented moments start to stir my heart,
...i lose them all....when i hold my breath
when my mouth has ceased, my words on a halt,
...........i am suspended.....far from the noise
.....................of the outside world...
here in this sacred space, i am with my loved one,
though distant............the world is...ours,
we're in deep conversation that could last a day
we are ourselves, naked..wearing no false pretenses
...we are timeless...we are one...the two of us...
here, in this sacred space...rich with
......an imperturbable stillness
..........my mind is overwhelmed
...by a silence.....so eloquent.......
Copyright June 25, 2017
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
The death of a loved one
Hurts so damn bad.
Everyone says "They're in a better place"
Or "At least they aren't in pain".
But what about me?
I'm left without a friend,
A lover, a piece of my heart.
My world is shattered;
I cut myself with the shards of glass,
As I try to piece everything back together.
You may be in a better place,
But I'm still here.
The death of a loved one
As I walked in the yard today
Right infront of me as if to say
I'm still here with you, stop wearing that frown
One single softly fuzzy feather floated down
I think it came from the other side
Where so many of my loved ones do abide
I wonder if it was from my big brother
Or maybe it was my Mother
It could of been my Dad
To remind me of the good times we had
But then again it could of been my Grandma, or Grandpa
They where very wise and taught me God's law
Or maybe it was from them all
Just so I would recall
The love and light
Each one brought into my life
Or maybe it's just as simple as a bird losing it's feather
And nothing else to it is tethered
But it brought them all to mind
And for that I'd have to say God was being kind
Curled up in a ball tears falling in darkness
arm stretched out reaching through nothingness
hoping to once more touch your face
I quickly draw back my arm
remembering that you had left this place
when you gave yourself a shove
God, If only you had landed in my arms love
28 bolts of pain
Pelting my body instantaneously.
Attacking every inch left of me, for I am gradually torn into pieces.
Bit by bit.
Organ by organ.
28 tear drops to trickle down my skin.
My happiness now trimmed so short it's practically gone
28 rolls of tape to mend the remains of my broken heart.
More than 28 times we said "I love you" and "we'll never be apart."
But now you're not breathing
Your heart stopped beating
Blood stopped running
And now I'm running to the cemetery to visit you,
My loving grandfather.
My mom screams too,
But there's not much left to do but wait for heaven to once again be with you.
It slides from the tongue with ease
So simplistic and overused
Will I ever hear you say it again?
You haven't known me in too long
The emerald green orbs
That glisten in the light
Are they still beautiful?
You haven't seen me in too long
Those long dark strands that flow
With your insistence of moving it out of the way
Do you still want to see my face?
You haven't answered me in too long
It seems so contradictory
To the half smile on your face
I wonder if you still feel yourself
I haven't known you in too long
The dull beads that sit steady
Trying to avoid the worried gaze
Only to look right through me anyway
I haven't seen you in too long
Short with an angelic glisten
Just the way you hate it
Your curls have been taken away
Like the many other parts of you
I haven't recognized you in too long
You haven't recognized me in too long
I saw your face today
I don't know if it was a dream or reality
You know when you lose someone
You start to imagine that they're there
Holding your hand
And maybe they are
Sometimes I hear your voice
I know its not there
It's gone forever
Its a voice I've heard for 20 years
And now it's no more
That Beautiful strong voice
Is no more
Yes it hurts
Everyday I long to hear it
Once more, Just one more time
Why'd you have to leave
At such a sad time
I miss you
I miss your nicknames
You had one for everybody
I could say I missed your smile
Honestly I can't remember it
But oh how I miss you
Watching the stars
It’s like looking into your eyes
A tear starts to fall
You left and gave us scars
The memory of you lingers on in my mind
I don’t understand why you would hide
You were the king
Your name repeating in my head like a song
I always knew there would come a time
A time that we would have to say goodbye
But I never expected it to be this way
You were caught up in a lie
Even if you made mistakes
We all still loved you
The biggest mistake was when you left
No word, no noise, it was silent
If you were to have just asked for a helping hand
It was just one simple step to make
Instead you kept it - that’s when it went bad
That’s when you made your biggest mistake
Now there is nothing left of you
And it’s now the time we have to accept
Because there is nothing we can undo
I know you wouldn’t want us to be upset
You were surrounded by love
Even if they didn’t share your blood
You were family to them
Everyone says I’ll get over it
But I know I’m not
How can someone forget?
About someone so amazing as you
People think it's just one other person's death
But it was yours