My little box, tell me the truth
I can't see brightness
I can't hear happiness
I'm torn in little pieces
I'm within fire storm
My little box, don't blame me
When I miss my torturer
When I miss my torture
When I miss my pain
My little box, it's not your fault
It's my fault to love
It's my fault to trust
It's my fault to be hurt
I'm the only one to blame
My little box, show me
The way to my agony
Feed me with your misery
Jail my hopes and dreams
And have me put to sleep
My little box, grant my wishes
To never have a life
To never be happy
To never wish for coming days
And never let her leave you again

When I lay in bed,
Trying to sleep.
When I close my eyes,
Thinking so deep.
When it becomes too late,
I fall asleep.
When I dream of a dream,
I can’t upkeep.
When all my senses,
Start to seep.
To the nonexistence,
Want to creep.
That’s the moment,
Forever,
I want to keep.

Abdullah Ayyash
October 2nd, 2010

No cold and no heat
Can make my heart beats
Not the fire in my soul
Not the days I lived
Not the nights I waited
Would make me retreat
From claiming your love
And hoping for a glorious treat

My world is not like other worlds that sear
My world is more like heavenly wide sphere
My world has no bitter sadness nor tears of tear
My world has no lies to lie nor fears to fear

When I raise my eyes above all the mustiness,
My world has blue skies splattered with whiteness
My world has misty horizon fighting brightness
My world has huge trees carrying greatness

I’m all by my self ruling my world that never fades
Sitting with pride on top of my hill, from gold is made
Like a brave lion holding his shiny sharpened blades
Watching his river filled with precious valued preys

Time is never measured by seconds
Nor by how many years passed
Luck is too wild to catch
And love can be easily crashed
When I'm just an oblivious kid
Waiting for Christmas that never lasts

Breeze is a sign of good times to come
Unless winds grow into a twister
No matter how sweet the water is
When it reaches the sea it becomes a blister
I wish this year to have a warm heart
For this life is a waste if it's all just winter

I'm the new year of mystery
I come to you saying nothing
But promising you eternal life
Of desperation and fatal misery

Train, under a heavy rain
Don't crash in me
I'm not that sane
Train, on the river
Take me home
Where my heart
Wants to shiver
Train, I've lost my way
Get me closer
Today,
to where I pray
Train, I did my time
Drop me now
The life we're living
Is just a crime

Your soul has just passed by
Like a beautiful breeze
Telling everything to bow
When it passes through

What an amazing thought It was
What a wonderful moment I lived
Visit me again if you will
Help me break out of my shell

I can create your world
I can even destroy it all
I’m not a reckless man
Nor someone wants to fall

I just want to live a life
Where your light is the call
Where happiness is the pillar
And your love is the whole

Abdullah Ayyash
April 08th, 2014

Like a spear
Running through my veins
Like a million galaxy
Skies passed with rains
I feel distant
Abandoned
Swimming in shame
Running away from laughter
From happiness you drained
From the sun that hides
When you rise dark memories
I wish my days would go back
Before my heart won its battle
Before realizing that by winning
The war was not really over
Come back with your army again
Bash me with misery
Rip my soul in pieces
**** my existence
Bury me deeper and deeper
Let there be no more of me
Then dive again
In your river of flame

If my love can last like a river
If my heart when I see you, shivers
If my promises can make you better
Would you accept me in your life forever?

Abdullah Ayyash
April 24th, 2014

Valentine is over
One door has closed
Others can't be open
Valentine is over
Can't seem to fit in
I'm just a burden
Valentine is over
This year is history
Next year is frozen
Valentine is over
Happiness is red
Sad clown is in bed
Valentine is over
Dreams are weaved
Hope is my holder

Days, places, and history I'll never forget
Times, paces, and the closest I can ever get
No matter how many faces I see everyday
Yours is the one I want to bury in my chest

Happiness won't come from a chest
Nor fear if you have nothing to hide
Keep the box or throw it away
It's only wood that catches fire

You can't expect much from a box
You only get what you put inside
Dreams are true once we live them
When sadness sneaks in with lies

I want to scream my deepest fear
Uncover my deepest sin
Admit my wrongdoings
But the ice under me
Is very thin

The lion inside of me
Who scars the jungle
And fight an army of angry men
Can't fight the loneliness anymore
Or the sadness, deeper within
His lioness has gone
His lioness has left the den

I'm gonna take a wild guess
I'm gonna play you a blind chess
I'm gonna tell you how to deem
I'm gonna build you in my dream
You're an angel in a white gown
You're the diamond in my crown
You're the light glowing wide
You're the prayer I always hide
Now I'm awake and cannot see
Now I'm crying inside your sea
Now I'm handing you my last plea
Now I'm giving you all of me

The life that we live in
Is just a train we all ride
A crescent appears in the skies
When the moon falls behind
Darkness is all over the place
When the sun goes blind
This is not a story to make you sad
Or something to make you hide
It's to tell you how the pain ends
If you choose who stays beside
Life can be worth living after all
When you throw sadness aside
I can't tell you how happy I can be
Every time you cross my mind
So please just stay close to me
Don't let me disappear in the tide

Black and white
In between, I fall
I’m a scale to black
And the shade of white
I’m the color of no color
I’m the dusk, I’m the night
I’m the soul of all colors
I’m the glimpse after light
I’m the “G” in Green
I’m the “R” in Red
I’m the “A” in Aqua
I’m the “Y” in You
And you are my delight

It's a story of a man
Who dived too deep
It's a story of a life
And wonder and heap
It's a story of a mystery
And junk to sweep
It's a story of music
That puts you to sleep
It's a story of a journey
With tears that seep
It's a story of memories
Force you to weep
It's a story of a turtle
With dreams to leap
It's a story of everything
But nothing to keep

Nights are becoming so boring
I hate to write you a sad song
I want to tell you that I hate you
And everything we did was wrong
But the truth is quite the opposite
I’m really lost and for you, I long
My heart has never stopped bleeding
It’s never gonna be that strong
Life is short and becoming shorter
When I once believed that we belong?

Throwing happiness away
Became addicted to sadness
I climbed and still climbing
I fought all kind of madness
There is no point to keep going
If you just pretend you're careless
I know you have something to say
After all the years of silence
I know the river can smile again
And skies can rain rightness
I know the sun can warm my heart
But only you can make it timeless

Tell her what has been taken
Is being given a better life
Tell her what has gone
Is coming back in a different form
Tell her the tears she was shedding
Won’t go away
It’s saturating new souls
To blossom again in her life

White cloud stepped down to earth with fears
Pure soul and free spirit were all mixed with tears
I can’t describe how beautiful that scene was
Or how much grace and rain that cloud has
Watching that cloud approaching me with anticipation
Should I move forward or I count my steps with hesitation
White cloud, how could you move without your wind?
How could you possibly travel and reach this end?
I was far away but all I could think of was you
I was dreaming of the day when I can finally see you
You were the love that brought me from my place
I moved faster than your voice to orbit your space
Here I am now and here we have finally met
I’m in your heart now where I can forever rest