Sometimes I seek the solitude of a quiet room, just to hear my mind speak aloud. To question all that I've built in this world, and whether or not I am allowed, to act on it.

Should you ever find me doing this, don't judge me for it, and don't question it.

Because believe me if I knew why my mind requires this. I wouldn't have to close the door, or lock myself externally in.

I guess sometimes what is inside, is not always willing to coincide, with what the heart tries to keep alive. And this is why sometimes I hide.

In order to unlock the locked away inside.

The power of the mind is not eternal
It is not fixed, but it is fickle and it will unwind in due time

But for the betterment of others
For the expression of the self
And for all things good, most honest, pure and kind

For these things my son develop the power of your mind
That way your body, heart and head may align

My echoing laughter
Catches the walls
Just below the ceiling
When I see it again
In the reiteration of his own hand

That you were right
And the world was wrong
That it was not meant to be as this
A singing song
But a reproach of the sigh
Of another man

How clever of the Frost to hide
On another set of snowy hands
  
How clever indeed were you also to find
The original meaning of such a man

With props to you
I laugh again

In mind a young mans fortune told
His sky colored and emboldened by light

Though the story is winding like a forest old
Falling into complexity at every summers end

It's in discovery And time
Which you are found

Lest I find
That I loved not you but this image of mine

Beauty in a subway station
Is often called
A crime

But contained within
Such an cavernas system
No right to move
Or way to judge
The intricacies of the human mind

It's what we do
And even why
Bend as we will
Be it by purpose
Or abandoned principal

Design
In design we stand
Still

Time hasn't aged but grown together
The considerate man and me
Because I haven't forgotten how to be sweet
Like My Hoodie floating round your shoulders
Swimming in it
So large that you can wrap it around your knees
And warm as the arms beside my side
So it would be
For you I would keep even closer to me
Than the meal which I like to prepare at night
Grilled cheese
So you would always be there by my side
In a place where you would never need
To fear the wandering of my mind
Or the inability of my eyes to see
Because I am all that I try
And to me you would most certainly be
The only wonderment I would seek
To keep until the morning light

The mountains and the valleys, the rivers and streams of my childhood call out to me and tell me to return to them and swim again, down below the underneath.

My father loved the meadows. Loves the wildness and the wilderness and the winters growth which is yet to be seen, in both the deer and the withering trees.

And part of me remembers still. Because part of him will always be me.

Gently
Softly
Almost sweetly

So the clouds are near to me
And to you as well

Although we are not at this time
Standing right here or there beside

How these clouds smile back as they roll by
And tell us both to our surprise
That we are watching and watched over

Since long before we each sought after
That distant star in the summer sky

We are by ourselves and each other
Mere reflections in such skyward eyes

You shake me, because of you.

You hold me, not with arms available, but in captivation.

You fear me, perhaps not because of me, but because of who I am becoming.

I respect you, not only because of him, but because of a gentleman's decorum.

This is... Nerve wracking.

This is not yet... And yet more so for me.

And I thank you for that.

But what is this for you?

Nothing perhaps.

(:

And here's the only place
Where I can share this honest truth
That all I've wanted for weeks now has been
To hear most any words from you

As I plod along at a placid place
I ask myself most often if
My mind will ever approach that place?

If I’ll I ever be able to move along
Down that path
Be it into the summer or out of May?

“Your brightest days are yet to pass!”
Or so they say, with each differing dawn
And yet I am still unsure of such path, nowadays

Be it winding or not
How they stretch out before me, and bend at a distance
Turning just around the cornery edge
To entice my mind to stray away

How I’d often jump from rock to rock
Devoid of fear, in my younger days
How I'd fly through the air without forethought
That is until I became aware of this present day

Though still I must, and will I trust in my ginormous feet
For it is time I value, and the steadiness which is found outside
That is, I'm seemingly less capable of turning off my mind

For I am afraid of not being able to see
And witness all the beauty which is stored away
Within such paths

For its there and within that which I expect to find
This path of mine

As a memory to create down each pasture lane
Must be simply folly and waste
To ponder such things with every day
This is what I see

When the decision stretches out before me
Not far away
Like a field of green

Whereas so many others are thus condemned to a barren wasteland
Simply put
Her lushness is just one of the things
That will make me stay

Some days I miss her,
But I’d never tell her this.

Because you know what it is that I really do miss?
I miss only my thoughts about what it is that she is.
And the curve of her waist, the distort of her hips.

And at the end of the day the only thought left is this...
I can tolerate this,
Because I don’t really want what she really is.

Like a crown of red
Six Emeralds in the sky
Rubies really
Burning each with its own pair of eyes

I mention this
Both because it is and will be
And one day someone else will see
Be it not in the same exact way

Which is fine

But thankfully at least they will see
Or so I hope
That is if, they permit me to show

Valleys, rivers, mountains wide
To great upends and depths of trenches which divide

No cloud nor star
Nor sun nor gleam
Or misting fog at last be seen

Neath rock and root
Or oceans wide
Or frozen tundra stretched outside

No warming feeling felt
Abides
Twixt valley, river, and mountainous wide

No distance compares or parts our minds
When you are standing here beside

This is the creature which commands my heart?
Which demands my respect and defines my reasons,
For which I refuse to depart?  

This creature in front of me.

What must I try,
Or even ask why?  

Is it a need to impress upon the rest?
That I was I,
Or that she was somehow best for me?

For I have since gone on to see,
That she is but a creature,
And that I am but a small shard of humanity.

Is there proof of this,
Which I have missed?
Quite possibly.

Or am I somehow immune to the truth,
That I am the only one who sees,
Or that my soul alone is the one which pleads,
To be apprciated?

Would you tell me this?

Or is life just meant to be,
A bitter tasting hollow test which I must best,
In a single man’s own exclusivity?

Why must I define such a simple thing?
Why can we not just coincide with empathy?

But to say that joy and empathy are the same,
Is nothing more than a lie to me.

Only recently have I begun to understand,
That I must stand,
Alongside a girl who is not the result of a lesser man.

One who knows the self and serves not pride.
Show me such a creature before my eyes,
And my heart will fly.

Waiting for a silver dollar
Cold and true
In a world full of plastic cards untrue

Who knows where the heart of a man resides?
In the mountains?
In the sea?
In an empty chest like cavity?
Be it hers or mine?
Because who knows where the heart of a man resides?

The air is colder there at night
Don't let me forget the feeling

The sky is bitter like the darkest chocolate
And bitter still at me for ever leaving

It was only yesterday that the grandest sky stretched out before me
Ever high

Be it breathing down my youthful neck
Don't let me forget the feeling of why

*Don't let me forget the feeling

The strength I have, will fade.
The moment at present, is past.
The second I win, I’ve lost.
And the instant I live, I'm dying.
That is not to say.
That the moment of hope, is hopeless.
Or that the second you find, you'll be found.
But that there always is truth and the opposite.
And the grace there within to be found.

I need to know
Or else I'm afraid, that I must go
Quietly into this good night

Because not knowing
Of this so and so
Destroys my heart and plagues my mind

Every... Single... Time....

Nobility knows no ends
Just as moonlight know no bounds
Besides the will of shadows
Which stretches out beneath
And lies in the most familiar heights
Drawn out upon the ground

We love the night
Because she holds no secret stars
Or fears no moonlit falling out

The most honest question a man can ask, like rock and roll and the radio, was our kind of love, the kind which lasts?

When I see you

My eyes turn to the side
Just past the wrinkles

To the corners of the world
Where the greatest hope still resides
Besides that of eternity

And you, you…

You seem to me
Like a picture of a jubilee

As a lightning strike
Before my eyes
You change the way I view the night

And the days so short
Which pass us by

Though your heart of Autumn
Often beats
There is always summertime in me

And the will to be
Alive

Yes, the mere sight of you
And the mind I see

Always makes me feel
Alive

We love the rain
Not because we can hear the sky
But that we can see her thoughts

You roll like auburn hills
And crash like comfortable clouds in the sky
Into my living room couch

Calling me back
Like the last moonlit rays of the sunset sky

You are steady and both steadily mine

For all the water which poured out slow
And was wasted on such hollow words
I should not wish for myself at least
I should not waste
I should wish for her

I am neither of them nor above them.
Though I do stand here looking out.

I am separate.
I am me.
As much as you can ever be you,
And I have ever been me.

For it is in this place where we become we.
The investors,
The collectors,
And the testing who test the testers.

We are us and they are them.
And yet the youth of today and tomorrow so rarely see,
That the educated and the un are all the same,
Just like you and me.

We all are people,
And to each his or her own.
We each try and find our own way to flee from it all,
Above it all.

Outward and upward.
In such a world,
And in such words as you will find here,
Is where you will always find someone like me.

Neither of nor above.
Yet ever present,
Always yearning to be free.

I saw your substitute today
Where the stairwell meets the fleeting hall
Passing me by, without a wave, without a smile
I saw your substitute today
But she wasn’t the same at all

I say this with a glass of humility
That I've built worlds up and down these streets
And surrounded myself with all manner of things
Which I've pulled from inside of myself and out
And spread around
Like butter on my creative roll
With only this glass to wash it down
I am hungry for the here and not
The creation which keeps me wide awake
When all others have fallen asleep in my town
Even this very expression was kept on a shelf
Hence why...
I generally keep such things to myself
For a glass of humility is better than milk
At settling my mind and stomach down

For just one day
Could the rain clouds cover the entire earth?
Could the rains wash the weariness of another Monday away?
And connect our hands, our eyes, our hearts?
To tip the glass and spill the words out, quietly
Until all is spoken and soaked in happiness
And the doubts have all been washed away
Into the flooded pasture of memories

For we are such on such a day
But even more so now than ever
That is, if the clouds could cover the entire earth
In which case we could look up and see
That the same old rain falling down upon us, you and me
Smiling as it hit the ground
Until the splashing molding droplets
Are just a memory to be relived

Let the clouds cover and the raindrops flow
To ever be

When you're truly tired of it
And you cannot stand it anymore

That is when you learn to quit
To stay away

And afterwards
You learn to live with the person who's left over

Everyday
I'm going to take
A step
Further away from her
Until one day
I'm in that good horizon
And she
Is wherever I was back then

Standing on my windowsill
Your breakfast blend the only name on my lips
How I wash my exponential coffee cup
With cold rain water
Just to splash me down
As it falls to the ground
Rolling off that fated roof, and feeling amiss
For that is that, and this is this

That smell
Just before a summer storm
Seeps into my eyes
As I am the only person left out in the rain
Under the sky
And the only thing which could clear my mind
Is the smell of lilac as it dies

When I am in the river
And the rocks are rolling with the storm beneath
I shine as stars
Stand as trees
And dig into the earth with my scarred limbs

When all around is changing pace
Unmoved
And ever shaken
As if grooved
I am awake and without worry

When I am greased and in the groove

Know not the turn of my cheek
The strength of my chest
Or the way in which my mattress rests
Just beneath the sill
Yet in front of the envelope which waits for you

Though you ought to know
That every line and every word
Was meant to be
In broken verse
Just as it it

That way one day
Only you could find me there within
And surpass the number set before
Thirty-two

For I am my own
And none of her names
Though in idealism
Perhaps a bit, one and the same

And should you never arrive by me
Then the envelope as directed will be
Delivered to you

So worry not
But hopefully it will not come to that
And that I will live to see your face
As you learn such of things

Like the envelope without a name

My eyes open wider
My shoulders drop to my chest
When I simply survey the beautiful September sunset
I am alive
And colored like this
The inner sky
Painted that same old orange and salmon
Which no palette can describe

Rare metal doesn't substantiate
The substance within
Just as the height of a skyscraper is not the sky
But instead
Be just as you say you are
And am

Revisit me my dear revised, see only me.
For I am a glutton for your eyes.
It’s deep within you've always seen,
The subtleties I've stored inside.

Said and implied, I love the way,
You scroll through each embellished line.
Besotted we were supposed to be,
An author and his beloved rhyme.

Within your book and by your side,
Is where I remain and to page I bind.
Don't leave without such fond embrace,
Or forget where we first met in mind.

Stay here instead and share my bed,
Rehearse my prose and read my rhymes.
Aloud we sound, like your favorite song.
Would you say my name just one more time?