Sitting in this parking lot, the blasting sirens wail outside, I watch the flashing clouds, the spreading lightning, I feel the pulling wind, the pressing sky, I watch the empty streets, the waving trees, I hear it raining on my roof, the crickets in December, And I really hope I’m not an idiot, sitting in this parking lot.
Discredit not the busy honey bee, or the hedgehog that makes the grasses stir The old owl that makes it's nest in the fir Admire the deer pacing the woods with glee! No bard does justice to the roaring sea, no sculptor the grace of a wild flower Or the nurturing of a rain shower, or majesty of an ancient oak tree
The beauty of Nature, a peaceful sight Like swans taking flight in the rose sunset Deep deserts where small foxes show no fear of man, and to feel a thunderstorm's might All these wondrous things and more can be met on this miracle, blue-green biosphere
Throwback from 2014, wrote this on a trip to Lapland. I usually write from a completely introverted standpoint, just spewing emotions so this observatorial description of nature-avenue is very foreign to me. However when a landscape is beautiful enough, it evokes something.
It’s not you, it’s me. I know we’ve been going strong for quite sometime now but to be honest, I’ve found myself very unhappy with who I’ve become. I know we’ve gotten immensely comfortable with each other but in comfort, there is no growth. So I need to start taking risk. I need to start coloring outside of the lines because it has the potential to be something magnificent and beautiful. And if it isn’t, that ok too. Because chaos doesn’t always have to lead to madness, for there is truth in chaos, and that is what I want to find; my truth, my voice, my story.
I’ve held myself back because of this fear that I am not good enough, that I don’t have what it takes; that I don’t actually have anything important to say. But there’s something inside of me; something strong and powerful that wants to be heard. So who am I to cage that in? Look, I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t afraid, because to be honest, I’m terrified. But I think I need to live in this fear for a while to really understand what I’m capable of. I need to push myself and expand the dimensions of who I am to be able to see what I can accomplish.
I’ve been so focused on not failing that I stopped trying. I found solace in your presence and made excuses to not writing. But I can’t be that person anymore. I’m sorry Writer’s Block, I need to set myself free.