The sinking ship wasn't your life, my beautiful--
it was simply a series of messages, unfairly laid on you
so very long ago.. and in such a way
that they became a way of thinking;
--and in and through them, your mind..
and also your life-view, was formed.
And so, it wasn't one ship, whose porthole
you finally swam out of, but many--
each time, only after
you had enough love inside of you
to be able to embrace the truth--
~that now told you that you had to exit the ship
before it was going to take you down along with it~
It was love, that was able to show you
what was on the other side
and it was love that helped guide you to the surface
every time you exited the ship
and each time you did, you developed a greater trusting
of the process..
and each time you swam through the porthole
you looked that much more beautiful to me--
Your beautiful face, glowing..
Your gorgeous mouth, so willingly pressed against mine
so you could draw into your own lungs
the very air of mine that I breathed into you,
as we both made our way up to the surface.
And slowly, in each ship that you exited,
your mind became more, and more renewed--
All the things that kept your mind and heart away from love
were the very things I would need you to
deal with before I could ever be with you
or someone like you.
And so it was in my love for you
and desire for you to become whole..
and also, my deep contempt for the messages
that have been so unfairly laid on beautiful ones such as you
that have both caused me to want to take the time
to help you see..
That each ship who's furniture you were so tediously polishing
was in fact, sinking to the bottom of the sea..
But it was you that had to see it for yourself, babe--
in and through the view and understanding
that what you at one time found valuable and necessary
in its ability to keep you alive,
now stood in the way of you taking in love--
the real thing.
So you see, love.. It couldn't have been just one ship..
but a whole series of ships--
and each one could only be exited once you had enough love inside..
and in truth, our bodies, (in their broken state of being) can only
take in as much love that the grace that we have been given
up to that point will allow..
Which is why the element of time is such an important thing,
and I consider it a great luxury that you and I were able
to come back together
time and time again--
even when both of us thought every-thing was over.
I needed time to keep from continually throwing my phone(s) against the wall
(and out the window),
and you needed time to process what was coming towards you...
(and, also your anger at me)
for pushing you too hard sometimes ..
and other times being too harsh, or unfair..
or from bringing too many of my own issues into the process.
But one thing for me I know for sure is true,
and that is every time you exited that porthole,
you became even more beautiful to me than ever before
And, with-in the tenderness of your trust..
And the way you pressed your beautiful mouth to mine
as you took my air into your lungs.. as if your own..
In the curve of your gorgeous hips, as your dress--
clinging to your skin..
in that warm, ocean water, as you slipped out of the portal
towards me and then up to the surface with me..
body, pressed against body.. as you took my air in
And the way that you learned along the way
to truly trust.. and take the risk to make your needs known:
how to ask for help, now--
long before your heart, mind, soul and that beautiful body
went into despair--
That you would make your needs known to me
in the most beautiful of ways--
ways, which unknown to you,
would draw me in- towards you
in such a tremendously, deep way..
And so, you can see that our beautiful friendship was
doomed from the beginning--
what has happened in my heart now,
and is the outcome of your incredible response
to all that has come towards you..
-- I think I fell in love
but now I know.. I’ve forgotten how..
It will be ok.