Today I dug and shoveled away, at an old box, at an old sin.
And upon finding it, I opened it, and stared at its contents. The realization stored within.
For inside I found the truth in this:
"That you can stare at the monster all you want, but in your future, don't ever let yourself desire his life, or become like him."
Not ever, not once, or ever again. But instead be reminded of who he is and how he is. And why also, such things exists, within this life.
Don't embrace the monster locked away. But be a better man. Be more than this. For that is the truth which I found in this.
The heavy patter of the rain
Reflects the pattern of my heart
In longings last
How I've waited for this storm to pass
Slowly pouring out
With a cooling voice
Till I calm myself
And yet so much more than the afterstorm
Which I must create
Everytime I've felt
The need to be
More than this old me
This rainsoaked version of the self
Some days my heart feels heavy with it
The distant want
The growing fear
The way it is but will not stay
For the remainder of these
More youthful days
My heart is this
But not at last
Instead how it wanders
Through fields of idealism
And lets you pass
With every conscious moment
How I dream of you and let you pass
And wax unwound
How all will melt
And all will burn
Long before his heavenly throne
Reveals itself forever more
Because we are the human
And he is the God
He reveals himself in ways
His structures are that of pure existence
Carved out of matter we cannot imagine
He is unlike us
He is everything
Beyond our frail and fragile bones
Would you find me a girl with the bravery and boldness of a Coraline Jones's heart?
Not someone who demands my attentive love or the backing of a musical score.
But someone real.
Someone who knows every deep and dark and shallow fear.
Someone particular and peculiar.
Who perhaps I can make a cheese omelette for.
When it comes to fire
Within my arms
I will crash and burn and rebuild myself
Because I am
Because I was
And because I have yet to become someone else
All that I can be
All that I wasn't
All that I do is because I must
Its not owned by this
The want or wont
But because I will regret it if I don't
I have been focused and growing
I have been strong
But now I see it's not the time
Nor the place
To build you a house
Or a home in which I belong
The truth is written there
Clear as day and yet shrouded as the night
Across the sky
That I am the only one who knows
Who I've written about