Valleys, rivers, mountains wide
To great upends and depths of trenches which divide

No cloud nor star
Nor sun nor gleam
Or misting fog at last be seen

Neath rock and root
Or oceans wide
Or frozen tundra stretched outside

No warming feeling felt
Abides
Twixt valley, river, and mountainous wide

No distance compares or parts our minds
When you are standing here beside

With mind turning ever slight
Hands on the wheel
And no arm of yours in sight
To be wrapped around this old arm of mine
I will drive on out
Into the night
Into the unknown of the next good day
As I praise his name
And drive on by
With a questioning mind out loud in my
Ever turning inward sight

A pendulum, rocking to the heartbeat of eternity
In time, in tune, in step with the world
Inside of the footprint of this city street

Like a whisper in the passing wind
Or a whistle nearby yet unseen
Striding forward with a massive force
Unstoppable as the former me

This is the essence of my own demise
And the love which grew too strong and too quickly
In order to keep my song alive

And yet through this I've become an entity
So I will rock for eternity, back and forth atop the hill
And also in the flatlands in the east
Where the whispers were first heard to me

There’s an emptiness about it
Just words on a page
Just thoughts on a screen
And nothing more

Although there was a time, when I really let myself hope
I’ve kind of moved beyond that
Although she is as beautiful as the sun, the moon or any sort of imagery I could depict
I know that it’s not for me to see
Her footprints are in front of me
Moving out into the darkness of this good night

You just know some times, because…
You try, and live and breathe, and get up every day and, try again
But some things no matter how hard you try, just aren’t meant to be
You can’t even ask for them
She is one such thing

I’m really thankful for her, and I don’t tell her but…she’s often on my mind

I wish I knew her
Better than I know my own mind and my own person
Because she is
Not just worth knowing, but worth memorizing and understanding

Time and time again
Because she is

God is good.
He uses all things for good.
I trust in him when things are good.
And I will trust in him when things are not so good.
It's a good thing to know that he is good.
Or else I would be good and stuck.
A good-for-nothing vagabond or a good for little son in law.
Yet I am good because God is good.
And though I'm not always so good he's so good to me.
It feels soooo good that God is good.
Makes me feel good so many times.
It's so true, that God is good all the time and all the time God is good.
So good for you and good for me.
Even good for God in his complexities.
He is far too good and gracious to be.
And he's far too good for the likes of me.

Waiting for a silver dollar
Cold and true
In a world full of plastic cards untrue

I saw your substitute today
Where the stairwell meets the fleeting hall
Passing me by, without a wave, without a smile
I saw your substitute today
But she wasn’t the same at all

That smell
Just before a summer storm
Seeps into my eyes
As I am the only person left out in the rain
Under the sky
And the only thing which could clear my mind
Is the smell of lilac as it dies

When I focus, I can pull the walls
And create the shadows that only the artist sees

Like the distant corners of the dreary hall
Nobody knows internally what is happening to me

Whenever I focus inward, and throw the ball
Precariously, towards another

Because when I am focused I am me
And I am never afraid to fall

That is the secret within me
That when I try, I pull the walls

Inward at a unparalleled speed
Until the path is known to me

And it narrows out like the distant hall
Because when I focus, I can pull the walls

Prestige with me most humbly,
As I paint you a picture never before seen.

Hear my words before I speak,
And gravitate ever so slightly towards the edge of your seat.
Such magical words do not come with ease.

They are the result of craft and timeless tries.
Again and again to coincide,
Within the lock and key inside.

Yet I escaped like Harry the great,
Call me a magician by twist of fate.

So I shuffle the words for all to see,
And deal them out most graciously.

Captivating the audience,
I line the Jacks in rows and stacks.

Only to quietly turn them back,
Into the deck where I escaped,
Into my hand which hold their fates.

And hopefully by watching me the crowd escapes,
Into the the purely predestined fate,
Into the magnificence I create.

Old buildings weather youthful storms
And trees bear more children than we’ll ever know

Humanity is not a curse
But a whisper down an empty hall

No shadow lies without intent
Or climbs beyond a human’s back

And though we bend and break with age
We are born again just to take it back

How needlessly we weave between
The bitter roots, the grass and trees

Sit at the base of life content
And remember all which you’ve seen

Because we leave our better trees
To depart the earth into the soil  

And though we hope to forever stand
No building will ever endure

No, in the end
We all will break and fall again

Quietly justifying
The existence of the other
The lines of his jaw
The turn of her hair
But not in hand
For its beneath the surface
Of the conscious mind
That the search began
And there it will end
There it will end

Know not the turn of my cheek
The strength of my chest
Or the way in which my mattress rests
Just beneath the sill
Yet in front of the envelope which waits for you

Though you ought to know
That every line and every word
Was meant to be
In broken verse
Just as it it

That way one day
Only you could find me there within
And surpass the number set before
Thirty-two

For I am my own
And none of her names
Though in idealism
Perhaps a bit, one and the same

And should you never arrive by me
Then the envelope as directed will be
Delivered to you

So worry not
But hopefully it will not come to that
And that I will live to see your face
As you learn such of things

Like the envelope without a name

What threatens and congests my chest
Is neither feeling nor felt
But frustration at the April snow
At the frozen tendencies of me
Which move so slow
And yet, never for the life of them, seem to melt
Frustrating is this man called me

For months a struggle in vain I've been. Deliver me now my Lord.

Allow me to see for a moment beyond what this human heart thinks it adores.

Because I do not wish to continue like this, give me strength now to close this old creaking door.

Would you allow me to be, in my present need, at peace with this anxiousness, and within me no more?

Cold caffeine
Warm room
Rain outside my windowsill

Quite chill
Somber tune
Waterfall which turns to snow

Hissing heat
Radiates
Truth until it’s known to me

That underneath
Every tire
Grinds the morning words to speak

Skies too small and colorless
Waters too calm and chaos intent
The earth too round, too bound and true
Too much my hopes for you

When the water boils
The pasta spine breaks
And the sizzling bake refuses to stop
I lose myself in the aroma around
Cooking like this
I am
Soundly simmering within the not
And at the same time
Lost
In the time which stops

Some days are the sun
Some days are the moon
And some days are the stars which burn out in-between

I wish you could see these reflections of mine
In my eyes
Like when the snow falls freely down
Careening now
Onto the ground
Past the autumn remnants of my life

I pick you up,
Ever so gently.
And lift you onto a chair in front of me.

Taller than me now you are,
And on my toes I have to reach,
To greet your face.

Most quietly,
With enchanted eyes,
And steady passion,
I kiss your cheek.

Not once but twice,
So that you might know,
The boy I’ve been,
And the man I’ll always be.

The present standing in front of you,
The past surrounding most of me.

No one to witness,
Or tell the tale.

Or even explain,
Why I love your cheeks.

Descriptive that is you
Intensive that is me
Smithing you could be my steel
And I the bellowing breath beneath
To coax the coal until it bursts
And explodes into this
The burning flame

As if every coffee cup ever filled was an ocean
So every drink ever drank by humanity was a dream
A beautiful dream with an inevitable end
Like a swirling coffee steeped in seeping cream
Forever mixed are our drinking lives with dreams
One and the same once turned knowingly

Indicators of the night sky, bursting bright.
The kind of bugs which glow so brightly it must surely hurt their buggy eyes.
In the summertime they come alive, to illuminate the dark of night.
And slowly wake by no mistake, to congregate and enjoy their lives.
Because they are the fireflies and it's with the summer they coincide.
Like a lightning storm or an electric hive, they soar as more than just common flies.
Perhaps the owl of old was right when he said that you wouldn't believe your eyes,
At the ten of millions of indicators, burning across the open sky.

When they curse you
And they blame you
When they passively
BOLDLY
Begrudgingly
Or in all other ways
Attempt to shame you
Into fleeing as if
You have nothing to be
And no reason to exist
Or to write such things
As these and this
When they try
And try
And YOU find yourself
Your world
Suddenly spinning
Upsidedown
On brand a new axis
It is then
In that moment
Of parry and precaution
That you must decide
How it is best to be
How you currently see
And can share such things
Beneficial to those
Who WILL always stray
When you hoped they'd stay
But as for me and my house
We will ardently seek
And oftenly pray
To show kindness to those
Who cannot
For the truth of them
Or the life of them
Or for the anger they store inside of them
BEGIN to see
The ways in which
That the sacrificial lamb
Has blessed us all
With this
A BRAND NEW LIFE
Within EACH DAY
This my friends
Is why I say
Be strong in this
And we'll walk that way

When a child hears a storm rolling
Or an old dog howls in the dead of night
And the thunder is crashing
The lightning is striking
And the heavy rain spouts outside are unfolding

That is when I
At the age fifteen
Would look to be out in the thunderous storm
Instead of inside beneath the crown molding

Such storms were the reasons why I would be smiling
But also a reason why I would get scoldings

“You’ll get struck by lighting”
Said my mother to me
And then the voice of my sister would sound out with glee
Screaming “With Mom and Dad gone, you better not die on me!”

But I didn’t care
Because out there I was free
To jump high in the storm
And even flip dangerously
Because I was a storm jumper
Destined to be

A river flows beside a tree
Which grows upon an earthy hill
Both strength and beauty can be seen
No need to hide
No want for veil
And the word of God flows underneath
As the river runs
To foster all which growth entails
So enter in lovers embrace
And share in the water
Drink it deep
Both when it flows and when it speaks
But especially when it stands still

In that moment I am gray as a the clouds until the sky falls down and there is gray all over me, all around and on the ground.

Do you ever feel such moments my friend?

When you feel like you are one with the clouds?

With every month that fades away, don't live in fear of what you're forgetting. But try anew as you always have, to find the truth of you, in each new setting...

Catch me
Like a Firefly in a glass tomb
Like a candlelit flame in a dark room

I am narrative alive and well
Time reincarnate
And I give myself most humbly forward

Charred and broken at both ends
Until my own ashes turn lie and truth
I burn on every living tongue for you

When the only whisper
Left in loved ears
Is wind
Then all will fall and flow over itself again
Yes
The final whisper is wind

It's easy to be most confident
When the action is present
When the purpose is known
But give yourself nothing but time to see
Nothing but quite days of drifting snow
And there in the waiting you will find
That the precious thing which you wanted most
Was just another line of string
In a wrapped up life slowly being unrolled

When I am in the river
And the rocks are rolling with the storm beneath
I shine as stars
Stand as trees
And dig into the earth with my scarred limbs

When all around is changing pace
Unmoved
And ever shaken
As if grooved
I am awake and without worry

When I am greased and in the groove

If I could ask one thing of you
Make one wish
It would be that one day you would see this sight
Exactly as it is
Just like this
Standing atop this former mountain
Looking down into the valley of change
For miles and miles
Just to witness it
To view this world
Not as it once was or could’ve been
But for the beauty of the fading mist
For the aching, moaning, weeping wood
Which cries out for eyes
Which slowly degrades as the hilltop fades
Beneath the last few rays of light
As the day succumbs to the edge of night
Know that all that I want for you is to see
What it is, what it was
And what I suspect that it means
At least to my eyes and the likes of me
From this hilltop I wish you could see

You’re right about that
There's no turning back
Once you’ve taken your eyes off this good track

Yet in light of that
How I love to drive
And to think aloud until my quiet thoughts talk back

About the process of understand things
Like how my mind survives
And my soul will ultimately outlast

Which is why in life, my fleeting friend
You should always keep your eyes on track
So that one day you’ll smile when you look back

Watching this old movie again,
And hearing her song now like this,
Reminds me having known is enough,
Because I know that she exists.

The sound of thunder
Long since heard
Off the grain of a Louisville slugger
Shakes the sleep from the eyes
The dawn from the air
And puts dangerous respect
Back into these young lives

Whatever your heart wants most in life...

The kind of things that you do not get
Which might just depress or even make sad

Whatever your heart can desire like this
It couldn’t possibly have

Which is why in the first place
Your blasted, bloomin, beggin heart
Most definitely wants but cannot have
Whatever it is it’s desires so bad

And you don’t have to quote me when I say that
Just go ahead and trace one of your heart-strings back
To the unwinding thing which you couldn’t have

I thought about me, long before I became me. And though I am here, I believe, this is where I was meant to be.

Is love a fancy or a feeling or a fascination?
You tell me
Although my mind is already made
And made up like the corners of my bed sheets

Your grandparents will tell you one thing, your parents another
And the youth amidst the feeling will tell you something else entirely

You know what I think?
Do you even care?
Will anyone even hear this little thing?
That love is a decision made every day
To let go, to hold on, to cut loose, and to cat's cradle string

The same old yarn or balers twine
Which you first used to tightly wind
The cord around your loving life

You picked your husband
You chose your wife
Now chose whether or not you'll live
An ever loving daily life

Run from yourself long enough,
And you'll circle the globe and find your old self.
Probably just standing still,
Waiting for you.
Because a wise man once said,
*"It's alright to do what you want to do,
Until it's time to start doing what you're meant to do."

Did he know?

That the stories he'd create
That the characters which he'd sow
Together all at once
Would so quickly grow in the minds of those
Who would follow along and fellowship
Together on this ever winding road?

For wherever there is rock and stone
Or root and earth
Be it on mountain tops or in the valleys below
How his stories over and over again
Will ever accumulate and flow
Through the minds of many so and so's

Did he ever realize the significance of this though?

Just know
It’s OK
If your heart’s a thousand colors
Because my eyes have a thousand of their own