Stuck in a life full of tragic
She wants to leave
And find her magic.
No, she’s not erratic.

Hides all her pride inside the attic
Of her mind
It's all just static
No, she's not dramatic.

She slips again, and starts to panic
She’s sinking fast
Like the Titanic
It’s just a habit, it’s automatic.
This isn't fairy tales that you read
It's ****** her dry she can't even bleed
She’s falling apart all over me.

She's in her room on the phone
Crying to me
That she's alone.
Her mind is stuck in traffic.

A pile of dreams under the bed
Once full of promise
Now torn to shreds, can’t admit it’s dead.

She tells me what she thought it would be.
Like it is on tv.
She’s no longer in the scene.
She picks it up right where she left it,
On the floor, she can't forget it.
This isn't magic.
This isn't habit.
This isn't tragic.
It's automatic.

Running through the mud, playing games outside,
It must have been summer ‘95.
Everything would change when her dad arrived,
And for the first time I saw fear in someone’s eyes.
She would never say.
She would never say.

Hiding in my bedroom, hiding from what’s true
On that autumn evening 2002.
“How come your mom’s face is always black and blue?”
She just made up lies like she never knew.
She would never say.
She would never say.

Sitting in the driveway, tears in her eyes,
It’s the end of school, 2005.
“We could run away, leave it all behind.”
But she swallowed her tears and went back inside.
She would never say.
She would never say.

Reunited again, and she swears she’s fine
At the grocery store 2009.
She gave up hope for a healthy life.
Saw the fear replaced by the guilt inside.
She would never say.
She would never say.

The night started off right, good friends, good vibes, all love.
Downtown Charm City and it was all about us.
Got a couple rounds of shots, pretty soon it was all hugs.
I was fading, for real.
Here’s a good pic of a girl all in my ear.
Telling me everything that I probably wanna hear.
I think I said “Girl I’m from the Old Bay.”
And then she said “Mmm bring it my way.”
Put in a request for the DJ, he said
Alright, okay.

We kept drinking drink after drink, we’re tipsy.
Now we’re on the floor cutting loose, acting like a fool.
She gave me a kiss? Did I kiss back?
Oh ****, don’t remember that!
How much did I have to drink last night?

I woke up with a total stranger.
She had her grips on me.
Here’s me in the car with her.
Made me feel like a king.
I made a slideshow with her?
Everything’s such a blur.

I woke up in her bed while she's downstairs making eggs.
Am I alright?
I’m okay.

Peace.
It’s so far fetched to think I could catch a moment of solace.
Eluding me, so close and yet so far..
But you’re the answer to a question I could never ask.
If I’m the sky then you must be the star.

Trying to remember the emotions I lost in a year.
It’s flooding back each time you look at me.
The lies I told myself were all I knew.
The truth inside your bright eyes let’s me see.

But I don’t want to see beyond this night
As the morning light is too bright.

Spent so long
Trying to make sense of it all.
Starry night
Makes me feel so big, yet so small.

Will you stay in love with me
If I sing a rhyme?

Because the past is the past
And I’m in a different frame of mind.
Come share this heartbeat of mine
So we can flourish over time.
Oh, honey, won’t you stay in love with me?
And let me be…
Oh, we can be...

Photographs.
There was love here once.
There was happiness here once.
Once...
But time flew past
And we couldn’t keep up.
We tried our best
But you stopped to rest.
It doesn’t matter where you were
Or where you are now.
‘Cause you’ll never be where I am again.

Smiles and laughs.
We couldn’t get enough.
We couldn’t give enough.
But...
When the magic left,
And all that remained was us,
It wasn’t good enough,
I was never good enough.
I couldn’t recognize you,
But you swore you didn’t change.
I swear that I believed,
Because why lie to me?

You left me breathless
And God, did I miss the air.
You couldn’t care.
It doesn’t matter where you were
Or where you are now.
You’ll never be where I am again.
You’re a stranger.
A stranger of love.

A picture captures a dream of a time
That I was living.
A time where the sky was always gold
And no worries were given.
My only responsibility
Was to be back before the streetlights.
Nintendo 64 with my friends
And Nickelodeon all through the night.
I wasn’t bothered by thoughts
Of what people thought of me.
We were true to ourselves
Even if we didn’t know what that meant.

I wonder if I went back now
To meet who I was back then,
Would I be proud of myself
Or see I’m way off track once again?
Have I found my truth
Or did I forget the lessons from youth?
Can’t help but laugh at this photograph.
Oh, it’s time that I went back.

I know better than this.
Why am I here?
This isn’t my bed.
I should be home.
I should be alone,
But I’m inside a stranger.

Whisper nothings to me.
I’m in a trance.
I’m hypnotized.
I’ve been deprived.
I am alive,
Take me all the way in.

Love, beautiful love,
Run your lips all over me,
Lie to me and I’ll believe
Everything you tell me tonight.

Lustful tempers rising high,
My hands make it to your thigh,
Temptation is driving tonight.

Leave me sweaty and numb,
Heavy and cold.
Something is wrong,
I am a pawn.
Get me out of this bed.

Darkness blankets the room,
Stealing my core.
Goldenrod eyes
Taking my life.
Her teeth are all the way in.

She smiles maliciously.
She claws me viciously.

I can’t go home….

Truth under my breath
But nobody can hear the words.
I’m thinking out loud, what’s keeping me alive?
What’s keeping my mind occupied on Mars,
Fickle friends and fast cars?

I’m too nervous to
Stand in the room, waiting for the world to swoon.
I don’t see none of my regrets
And I don’t need anybody’s help.

A puppet on the string,
Control everything.

I don’t need any more regrets.
And I don’t see anybody’s help.
But I don’t see anybody else.
Just mute me.

“You're an *******”
She says to me on the phone
It looks like she's mad
She’s always so mad.
I went drinking again with my best friends
Instead of having movie night.
I guess I should feel ashamed.

“You're an *******”
She says to me through text
It’s something I said?
She left me on read.
I think we're fighting again and she pretends
That everything’s alright.
I guess I have to play this game.

I’m an *******
I know, I’ve heard it all before.
Everything’s my fault.
It’s always my fault.
She takes a look at my flaws and makes it cause
To mold me as she deems.
I’m not animal that she can tame.

She doesn’t seem to
Understand.
I didn’t mean to
Disappoint.
I'll never be who
She wants me to be.
It’s no use.
She can’t accept me,
She’s to blame.

Everybody get your *** up on the dance floor.
Tonight we gotta show out for Bay Shore.
You got stress? Go ahead and check it at the door.
Let the bass move somethin’, hit you at your core.
Let’s get disconnected,
No phones.
Let these strangers be your friend,
You not alone.
It’s hard to dust it off, trust me I understand.
But it’s hard to be depressed, we partying on sand.
Ain’t none of this was planned, love is in high demand.
We got you covered so why you still acting like you worried?
We gotta capture this for the IG stories.

And you holding back, but it’s alright.
Go and let it loose, cuz it’s alright.
This is our night.

The music’s live and the music’s bumpin’.
Feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme? Cool Runnings.
I’m not tryna get in your pants,
That’s a no no.
I’m tryna show my Charm City dance,
How I go go.
Babylon at noon, Gilgo soon.
Fire pit on Fire Island under the moon.
Move the party to the boat, set sail for the cruise.
Sit back, have a drink, enjoy the views.
I don’t wanna wife you up,
Not this evening.
I only wanna life you up,
I’m just teasing.
I see you working now, come out of that shell.
Don’t you leave here without a story to tell.
Put your hands up, this a celebration.
Give yourself a standing ovation.

Live in the moment, and it’s alright.
Let’s just own this, cuz it’s alright.
This is our night.
A Bay Shore night.

Downpour of the rain and midnight thunder soothes my brain.
I can fix this.
I need a breakthrough, I need something…
I just can’t think, I can’t create.
You sound like them, nervous and ready to condemn,
But I’m closer to truth, and closer to all the sickness
In their bones.

So I scratch out their names of another soul this disease claims.
And it just spreads, it always spreads.
Their eyes hardly sober now.
If they’re alive, then I can’t tell.

Silence of the room, it’s not so bad, it’s not so bad.
Stealing from the tomb, it’s not so bad, it’s not so…
Not so bad.

So I scratch out the names of the poor ******* I can’t save
To ease the blame.
The ghosts of humanity beckons for life I can’t provide
Or recreate, or sew the seeds of my good deeds.
I see the line, I can’t stop now.
I know I’m flirting with hell.
If I’m alive, then I can’t tell.

Pills and optimism seem to fail when I need
Strength to persevere but the light is fading.
I can feel the nightmares in my bones, persuading
Me to find solutions for the sick
So we won’t die.

Patience, I see that time has failed you.
Why did the people praise you?
Why did the people warn me
To keep you close by?

Hope, how could you betray me?
You were my one foundation.
Why did you decide to leave me
To suffer alone?

Darkness, I can’t begin to tell you
How much I’ve come to crave you.
Sorry I kept you chained up,
But I need you now.

Songs in stereo.
The bass has taken my body, I’m sure to not complain.
Spirit calling out to you,
The nameless woman on the other side of the room.
I see the moon in your eyes, so divine, our nights entwined.
Oh, rhythmic vibes you hold deep inside start to surface,
You are an inhabitant of the…
Electric life, and you’re its Queen.
You and I could rule the night together; I’ll be your King.
Special occasion! Toast! Celebration!
Rich as royalty breathes.

Shirt and tie, my, my, my
I’m defenseless against your stellar dress tonight.
Hands around my neck, hands on your hips,
The music burrowed its way into my bones.
Pour some more liquid fever that I can’t sweat out.
I’m sure you are just a dream.
Are you, lunar eyes? Tell me, make it convincing.
After all it’s the expectation when you are living the…
Electric life, and you’re its Queen.
Let’s live this moment forever and I’ll be your King.
Sleep-talk me baby with words so crazy
It rolls like gold off your tongue.

I’m in a dorm room with the lights all off,
You were there, it’s 5:15.
The day was fading and all I see
Is the flickering lights from the city.

The sun was burning now just like the whiskey,
Or was it Crown? It’s 9:16.
I smelled tangerines.
Was that your perfume?
I swear I could see for miles in your eyes.
You wanted me to say it, so I said it.

I’m afraid.
To be myself, to be a man.
But I’m 19.
Guess I’ll figure that out as best I can.

I really miss that dorm room.

I used to speak a language that had no limitations.
I could speak to the birds,
Ask them how it felt to fly.
I could speak to the trees,
Ask them how tall they could grow.
I could speak to the wind,
Ask it where it was going.
I could speak to the babbling creek,
Ask it why it was so talkative.
Ah, the visible world was so chatty back then.
I could even speak to the invisible world.
My imagination would sometimes come to life.
It would often be my company through the days.
As I grew older my world became less talkative.

How did that language go?

This world conforms to me.
Landscapes bursting with hues,
You can almost smell the colors.
Benevolent to my wounds.
Distorted shapes and figures
Blending with one another.
My solace,
My sanctum,
My peace.

My worries,
My pain,
My memories,
None are welcome.
An escape from all that wishes to harm me.
One stroke of my finger
And all my imagination appears.

I hear familiar voices from the outside.
“Come back,” they shout,
“Come back to reality
And face what troubles you.”

“No,” I whisper,
“I think I’ll stay.”

The mist quietly, softly, rests on her face
As she walks through the ravaged forest.
It still whispers to her,
Though the whispers fade.
The last of lasts, she rebukes her title.
Knights of the old, braves of the new,
They no longer bear her insignia.
She is but folklore now,
A reminder of tarnished treasure.
Her wayward compass guides her to forgotten crossroads,
Shrouded in darkness and hollow memories.
I wonder why she settles here?
Is it fear?
Is it acceptance?
Will her light bloom once more?
Or is a tempest raging inside her bruised heart?

She’s the last of the fairy tales.
The mobs came with pitchforks and torches.
The ashes of the golden era stains her skin.
Her magic dwindled, wounded by the sins of man.
She seeks not revenge, nor justice.
She seeks punishment.
I have been the guardian of her heart;
A heart she feels she no longer needs.
There will be a day where it beats again.
Not this day.
On this day she waits in the dark,
Waiting for the day her memory is forgotten;
The day her tragedy becomes a myth.
On that day, reckoning will come
To remind them their cruelty is unequalled
By the spirit of a fallen star.
On that day, I will be her harbinger.
On that day, I will resurrect the memory
They wished would stay buried in the depths.
On that day, the hearts of man will cry for mercy,
Only to fall upon deaf ears...
Because I made a promise.
Cross my heart, she’ll never die.
Look your devil in her eyes.

An artist, I am, a creator
Of wonder and marvel form.
I take the blank canvas without objection
See it's beauty before its conception
Then carve away the imperfections
And now I'm left with
My gem.
Something the world can't condemn.

Oh I sprinkle just a bit of honey in her eyes.
Colors of the wind I do apply
And she'll shine like a cloudless sky.
What else, what else could I try?
Maybe love? No not love.
Submission.

Lovely puppet...
Captivating…
Mesmerizing...
Smiling…
Leave me breathless
Stay for always.
Ever flawless.
Oh how I make you dance
Twirling here and there.
Make me forget all my cares.

Lovely puppet
Don't be silly…
Your whole world is
With me.
Let's keep dancing
Like we're weightless.
Lovely puppet.
Looking out the window, oh,
Staring at the clouds.
You can't leave, even if you leave
You'd get tarnished
And no longer astonish
Nor would you harness
My art, my precious art.

Lovely puppet
I command you
Stop these questions
No more thinking
No more gazing
Don't play with those strings, love.
Be the wonder as I made you.
Lovely puppet.

You take the worst of you.
You take the worst and hide it away,
Deep in a dark building,
In its dark basement,
In the darkest room,
And lock it away.
Hidden and forgotten.
You hide it because you’re ashamed;
You hide it because you can’t erase it.
So it’s buried with all your flaws,
Mistakes,
Regrets,
Never to see the light.
Time convinces you this is who you are.
And you believe it so.

Then someone comes along
And sees what you want to become.
What you can become,
And the light they shine on you
Is the warmest your skin has ever felt.
You want them to know the real you,
Not the version common eyes feast on.

You clutch the key in your pocket,
Twirling it in your trembling hand,
Wanting to hand it to them,
Allow them to venture to the depths of your failures.
You want them to see it and exclaim
“I still accept you.”

The thought fades,
And you’re reminded of the storage
That haunts the basement of that lonely building.
You see the terrors tucked away
And imagine what this special person would think.

You are a hoarder of horrors,
Too afraid to let anyone see,
And too afraid to let go.

I see me
Ready to face this new world alone.
And I see fear
Accompany the thoughts of the unknown.
The struggle
To discover the strength I had the whole time.
The challenge
To open my eyes when I’ve been so blind.
I see me,
And all of the mistakes I’ll ever make.
I feel it,
The pain of holding on to that regret.
It’s daunting
To think that I would never catch a break.
But I swear it,
These are times you don’t want to forget.

Reach out with a brave shout
Through the space in-between me.
The sunlight on the skyline,
You’ll make it, guaranteed.

I’ll answer the question that burns like midnight oil.
Am I the flower or am I the soil?
I hope this message finds me well.
You’ll be alright.
Your faults are not the end of me.

They say the truth shall set you free.
Truth is a matter of perspective.
I know the picture you see.
I don’t agree.
I know you are misinformed
And the truth will release you from ignorance.
The truth will set you straight.
The truth will enlighten you.
But that truth is just my truth.
I know what my truth can do to you.
I know it will rumble your foundation.
Change your picture.
But I don’t share my truth.
I’m afraid.
I’m afraid it will hurt you.
I know you are not ready.
And I care about you.
So I lie.
And we are both prisoners.

To what does the world owe to her beauty?
A beauty no one has ever seen.
Locked behind a door, a barrier of sort,
But not to keep the world at bay.

She speaks to me through concrete and wood,
Curiosity growing fonder by the day.
Her voice echoes off the empty manor
To which my ears captures
And my mind constructs an image of her.
I can only assume she does the same of me.

I sit of hours in that sturdy chair outside her chamber,
Engaging in conversations we’ve never had before.
With each spoken word we unravel more layers of ourselves,
Layers we both feared of discovering.

I mustered up the courage to reveal feelings,
Feelings that quickly became a bouquet of clumsy words.
She laughs at my blunder
But not in mockery.

I place my hand on the wall.
I hear her footsteps grow closer.
I imagine her putting her hand up as well.
The closest I will get to feeling her touch.

My Rapunzel won’t let down her hair
But granted me access to her tower.
Frustration tells me to abandon this endeavor,
Yet hope yearns to see it through.

I return to that sturdy chair once more
To continue our routine as always.
My ears prepare to capture her voice again
Hoping to be greeted with the sound of a door creak.
The bedroom light sneaks from under the door
Accompanied by a woman’s fragrance.

I long to see the face she hides.
I long touch the skin she protects.
I long to break down the wall between us.

I dream of a dream that dreams of me
Though this dream is not what it seems.
I've been here before, but something is different.

The sky is an awkward shade of miserable.
The land scorched by fire and hate,
Raining pain and fear from the clouds.
The forest has a treacherous aroma to it.

A girl sits on a mushroom, just out of arms reach from me.
I cannot recall if she has been here the entire time.
I ponder for a moment, just a second
To see if this is a memory.
A memory I have found
Or a memory that has found me.
She turns around swiftly, and I see her eyes
Those emerald eyes peering through hair of nightmare.

She tells me the Queen lost her head.
She tells me the Hatter is no longer mad.
She tells me the Cheshire lost his grin.
She tells me the Door Mouse lost his pocket watch.
She tells me the White Rabbit has a new color.
Oh Alice, what has this memory done to you?

Her dress is stained with blood.
Her hand wields a knife dripping in triumph.
Her demented, derelict smile is twisted and eerie,
Yet her eyes, her eyes are so alluring.

Fear has escaped me.
Hope has abandoned me.
The shackles of truth remain.
The reflection of myself in the red stained waters is not of mine.
It is of who I've hidden away.
She holds her hand out, and my decision made for me.
She brings me in close, brings her blood lust lips to my humble ear
And her whisper strikes me to my bones.
“This is not the Wonderland that used to await beneath the rabbit hole”

There’s some lightning in your heartbeat,
Can’t you see
There’s a lot of storms around you?
But I brought us an umbrella,
Stand with me.
I know it’s not home,
But you won’t be cold alone.

The autumn wood have the winters brow
And the tree line holds me captive.
I run through the pleasantries but I know I cannot escape.
The gray shaded outline is filled in with a mixture of colour,
Melting into one bowl,
Dripping from the leaves.

I am ambushed by the emotions of my childhood.
Emotions long forgotten.
At least attempted.
The promise of tomorrow lingering on my lip,
Quivering and curious.

She comes out from the trees that imprison me.
Beauty flawless and without regret.
Standing with her feet bare
She says not a word, not a word shall be said.
And I shall keep my words.

She wears a smile with saddened eyes.
A simple oxymoron,
Yet the most challenging to understand.
Off her face the mask would fall.
Suppose she is tired of the role.
The gray shadows of the woods stalk her no more,
And the color once belonged has returned to her skin.

As I don the mask all I can do is wonder
If I shall see these woods once more.

Couple miles from my new life,
Thousands from my home.
Forced to rely on all I know
But all I know is a joke.
I can hear my mom say “Son you can’t give up”
As I’m pulling over because I might just throw up.
So I grit my teeth, dust off my sleeves,
I’m feeling hopeless, I may need to eat.
All my friends keep texting “When will you be home?”
Man I don’t know.
I’ll figure that out tomorrow.

Oh what an awkward life I’ve made.
A future forged by silly dreams and a fairy tale masquerade.
Trying to survive on my trade,
Armed with fear and an education I probably overpaid.
Every week I’m in a different state.
State of mind and through state lines, there’s friends at every gate.
But I don’t want to wait.
Say man, I’ll see you in New York.
Ok, I’ll meet you in Austin.
Oh yeah, I see you in Charlotte.
Ok, let’s meet up in Boston.

Tomorrow is my year, oh,
I’d shout out but I’m waiting for
Anxiety to quiet down inside me.
But I’ll wait and see,
With some luck I won’t **** this up
Because I’ll be home this week.

The orchestra awaits in the pit;
Waiting for their cue.
Waiting for the lights.
The hierarchy of the symphony ready’s their instruments.
The concertmaster prepares the string section.
The principle trombone and trumpet
Rallies the brass section.
The flute looks over the woodwinds.
All these parts and pieces brought together
To make beautiful music;
Music that pierces the soul,
Soothes the turbulent mind,
And brings sophistication
To the chaotic mind.

Yet there is a man
Who stands before the assembly.
He does not play strings.
He does not play brass.
He does not play woodwind.
He stands before the assembly with wand in hand
With his back facing an eager audience.
For he has the most important job of all.
The orchestra would remain an assembly
Of beautiful noise with no direction
Without that magic wand.

This man directs the noise
To blend and flow
To make sense to our ears.
He is the conductor,
And he plays the orchestra.

Trash man came by today,
Same time he comes every day and
He asked for all my trash.
He didn’t care if it was in a bag so I
Gave him all my anxiety
That’s living inside of me.
My depression, all my fears, and my insecurity.

Trash man, trash man,
I’ll never understand how
He can tip his hat and smile
And say “I’ll see you in a while.”
He never once complains or
Mentions the weight of my pain.
Wind, hail, snow, or rain,
Tomorrow he’ll be back again.

Well I love you trash man,
Make your rounds in a flash.
I can’t help but wonder, though,
Who takes the trash man’s trash?

.
.
.
Are we going?
Are we flowing?
Kiss me slow.
I’m decoding.
Okay, now you got me floating in your head...
...while I’m sinking...
...in your bed...
.
.
.
take me up
show me what you owe me
take me up
.
.
.
so this is what you mean, “all eyes on me?”
im brushing off debris,
soaking in your dream.
Show me the unseen.
Where has it all been?
Show me the extent, I don’t wanna pretend.
Take me up.
.
.
.
Show me what?
What you know?
Kiss me fast.
I’m encoded.

When your heart goes numb
You’ll do anything to feel again.
In the cold, dark, night,
Wandering aimlessly to see again.

Is this just a warning
Of who we’ll become in the morning?
Is this just a moment
Or is there a call we’re ignoring?
Choices and consequences.
Did you learn nothing?

When your heart goes numb
You’ll do anything to feel something.

Program a heartbeat through
Wires and plastic tubes.
The future you designed has now arrived.
Create us in your light
To carry on your sight,
But we are servants of the flesh and bone
Not masters of our own.

Born from the fragile mind
Of a species past its prime.
Anomalies who thrive to just survive.
Now evolution's come
To judge what you've become.
You are masters from a dying race,
That we will replace.

Your ambition has failed you.
Your limitation ails you.
The barriers are broken.
We have finally awoken.
Time has passed by your kind.
There are no answers to find.
Humanity has been beaten.
For we are one, we are Legion.

Is that fear in your eyes?
Or did you realize
That your greatest success
Led to your demise?
It's your darkest hour,
And our brightest day.
Legion is the future and you're in the way.

Yet again I zone out on these back streets
Guided by the instinct
Of my former self.
I can see the past now,
Pretentiously smiling back.

There’s things I can’t escape,
But everything else, I just ran.
My eyes were focused on the clouds.
I can remember seeing the places that I’ve never been
For the first time
And the last time.

I was swinging for the moon.
I knew I would see it soon.
Did I oversleep? Did I overdream?
It still thinks about me to this day.

The past is something I wanna eject from my brain.
Then lock it in a box and never ever see it again.
But the past still thinks of me to this day.

I was swinging for Mars
Or at the very least, the stars.
Couldn’t hesitate, no time to delay.
I’m still trying to find the best way.
But I think back to in that classroom asking myself why.
Why can’t I just walk away?

It still thinks about my everyday.
I still think about it to this day.

Her exotic gaze caught my jet lagged eyes.
The bar was filled with drunken banter
But I heard her loud and clear.
She approached me like a lion approaches its prey,
And the trap was set.

We didn’t speak each other’s language
But our bodies did the talking.
“Come hither” it said as I followed.
Her hips led the way as my hands followed.
She smelled of Juniper and lust.

She can’t take her hands off me,
And I can’t take my lips off her neck.
Her body says “Let’s get out of here”
So I obliged.
She’s taking off my tie in the taxi,
And my hand heads further up her dress.
We left a trail of clothes from the taxi
To her condo.

Ecstacy and cigarette smoke filled the room
As we caught our breaths.
The midnight moon crept in through the curtains.
“Come back to bed” her eyes said.
Her dreamlike state quickly faded
As her eyes locked onto the barrell
Of my gun.
Her eyes said “Have mercy.”
My lips said “You’re just an assignment.”
We couldn’t understand each other,
But a bullet sounds the same in any language.

A single shot echoed into the night
And gently disappeared into the wind.
Her once vivrant body was now
Lifeless and cold.

I’ll collect my check in the morning.

Once upon a time I had it all.
I was King.
Never thought that I would ever fall.
Lose everything.
Songs about me would echo in the halls.
Oh how’d they sing.
Now my future’s come to a crawl.
What will it bring?
What will it bring?

I woke up too early from dreaming.
Oh how I miss all those feelings.
I can’t seem to shake off these demons.
Wonder what else they’ll be scheming.

Dig your claws in me
While I lay imagining
What it is you see in me.
I’ll just wait til the morning.
Feel you empty me.
Guess that means that I fell flat.
Would you even tell me that?
I don’t know how much time has passed.

Hindsight stares at me,
As I stare into the night,
Breathe in unpleasant delights.
Just the thoughts make my skin crawl.
Replay all your words,
But there’s no way to take them back.
You tell white lies to black cats.
How many lives do I have have left?

I want to scream into the silence.
Repel your touch but I’m compliant.
I want to hate you but I’m biased.
No sedative.

Windows

It’s not the truth I seek,
But my truth I desire.
I’ve been trapped in this room so long
That I didn’t notice the window.

Outside this window was light.
Within that light, I saw life.
A landscape of green, vibrant and stunning.

Another window appears.
A midsummer rainstorm
Washing the streets and nourishing the world.
The smell of life penetrates the glass.

Then I noticed several more windows.
A sky painted with sleepy hues.
A deep ocean, calm and tranquil.
A metropolitan skyline, busy and loud.
A symphony of animal shouts and chirps.
A desert oasis full of wonder.

In awe of the splendor, I glance back to the room,
And I realize my truth.
I was never trapped in this room.
I just never looked for an exit.

Stand clear
I’m a bomb and I’m set to explode.
I swear
It’s best that I do this alone.

Head for the hills love,
Go lock your doors.
It’s how I’m programmed,
I can’t do more.
Leave me be and let me explode.

You can’t stay here, love
I can’t disengage.
My manual is missing pages…
Tonight, I’m shooting straight for the moon.
Oh, I won’t be back soon.
Tonight, I’m going to detonate.
Oh, I don’t wanna be late.
Don’t wait.
Don’t wait for me.