I was a menace out in the dark, out in the rain, out with the black candy canes
I was a taunter hidden behind my laughter, my wounds, my obscene gestures ... oh no, were they too cruel?
One look is all it took, to strike a match with your eyes inflamed memories through burnt fingertips deceased flashbacks floating down to the bottom of the river I galavant thru alleyways with gloved hands purely my gaze should make you shiver
this life form has left me half torn laying underneath the stars right next to the gutter more noble gentlemen have risked their romances for your my dear
what would you take me for? I ride the dead night upon my black horse in circles among the empty hills and through the startled trees enveloping and twisting before the moon herself carefully eying those who've permanently plagued me beheading several in rows like collapsed flowers on a grave
Don't stay out too long I'd run if I were you it's getting a little too late.
The silence in October, is beyond these words. From the mild cold and morning dew, to this mid temperate Sun's hue. All these flavours with daunting blues, you see wings fly off to calming views.
This time in fractals now you realise, time is flying in my locked paradise. Stuck in this habitat for way to long, Now I hear whispers in my October song.
Ending this year with variety in tears. From disclosure to disease, from disasters to deceased. For this season of fall in yellow and green. For the news of end is falling in. Seeing these mild heated afternoons, feeling those fear of loosing dearest aloof.
This series of season, this sequence of months. Calling to summarise this beauty in rust. Now I see this year's fate is bend, I am hearing October's rustle to end.
It calls to you across the parking lot, past the shorting-out street lamps and the trees. You ask your friend if he hears screaming. He does not. You need to make a choice. Fall together or break apart? You know exactly what will happen if you stay put- nothing at all,just the same few weeks of work and dishes and sleepless nights and not being able to even tell if your eyes are closed because you know exactly what will happen next. You know and do not know what will happen if you follow it. It beckons. You both do not care at all and care immensely about your current life. You both care and do not care about the consequences. You are a creature of many parts, and you need to make a choice sometime soon. They’ll be waiting.
i miss loving you; i miss the calm and easy and content way of just kissing in the blue hour — clothes, falling out of flushing skin; mine was a map of scars named after estranged people, and yours, an anomaly of carnelians breaking at the softest touch.
and yet, nothing hurt enough. not the fading autumn days leaving us to fall apart in october. not the poems that painted this love to be more beautiful than it actually was. not the carnelians, breaking everywhere.
and i miss loving you, but this october rain isn't cleansing — it just falls cruelly on a heart too eager to break itself. i miss loving you, but all these blue hours have corrupted what's left of your first tainted kiss. i miss loving you, but betrayal still rests comfortably on my skin: a map of scars named after people. a map of scars cut by carnelians. a map of scars named after you.
and this october rain isn't healing; it's just cruel.
I can't tell you the time I fell in love with love Where I became crazed and I started to send wishes above Where my heart first cracked, and I felt it's first attack Where the walls that grew from the floor caved in and pressed up against my back
Oh, and I can't really remember where I actually felt free Where I reached that lift off my shoulders and I met serenity
It's really hard to pinpoint these moments, and there's more that I haven't mentioned, but that doesn't mean they didn't happen, and that if they didn't they wouldn't.
Hopefully I one day can pinpoint my first real relationship One that's mutual, forgiving, full of love, intimacy, and friendship Where my wishes came true, at least the ones that matter most And the wounds I suffered so, that they heal, or He'll turn me into a ghost
That the walls fall, and I finally feel my space expand So that I can fill it with memories and things I love, making it a new land
That is what I would like to pinpoint. I hope to see it manifest into reality.