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Surrounded
All of me contained
Attire but another layer, another mask

Wounds heal and bleed,
heal and bleed, heal and bleed,
Pain never yielding

I observe, I witness
only shadows
and not the glistening
which bore them.

Except for one
at a time.

Time between each flash
inconsistently lapses.

I feel the fear
overtaking
this prolonged era.

Fear unto darkness
What remains
of my own luminescence remains
contained within.

I will bare only when a
Light pierces, blinding
all I know
when I finally open
my eyes.
Beck Dec 2014
I don’t need to start from the beginning, just where i am at currently
the feelings of undesired draw my attention
the lack of attention catalyzes my cravings
for love, and joy
for happiness, simplicity
why are people afraid of the cold
when i warm myself every day
and every night
all my life
i have been my own blanket

i hate the feeling of being less than
what happens to the equation that is always less than?
i bet negative infinity has a ****** life,
maybe we are the same, though.
Who is the greatest less than in this universe?

What i want is not what wants me, in fact,
who, or what, even wants me enough to get me?
none. no one. not a single soul has requested my company.
I hate it. I'm done with it.

My computer erased all of my poetry, and yet i still write it. I still continue to write.

a teacher once told me that poetry with darkness was ugly. ugly and undesired.
She said that she
could be dark all on her own
yet i still have yet to see someone who shares my darkness.
I am alone,
on my own
I am my own blanket in the
dark.
Daylight 4U2C May 2014
I get the crust and the gristle of a thistle once a missile shooting out into the sky and I cry, wonder why. Never sure what I feel for the meal of a deal and then words more like air slip the breeze in my hair, butterflies in the skies killing what kept my alive. Oh too bad, well how sad, if the songs last lines din't matter it'd harm, it'd make the soul so very mad. Here I fall, there I stand like a robot dancing to the tunes. It's demand. Hear I laugh, hear I cry. I hear the screams and feel the burn, so why? Why unsure, of what's telling me my life is so impure. Threatened heart, from the strings that wrap it, tearing it apart. Feel the clench of a bundle of what you yourself have drench and so benched. And you threw to me the horror show, I never so have thought would reckon me to be. I, to be, it's master and it's longing family, here I cry. Hear "I" cry. For I exist in heart, but never, not in mind. There I stand once again as a memory of all that I pretend. If I tried, to be real, the pieces fall apart inside. So I hide, then I quiver and I shake as 'me' is inside. I can touch to the shelter covered in the unbelieving, underachieving to be who I know I am to be. Or at least what you see. I crush the old me and start anew, though I grew. I, immortal to myself have stomped the true. And I become something greater than simple little shrew. Do not lie! For I see with one eye, the look through me. What you see is a host, not the ghost, that lives on. "Awh, look at me. I'm so strong!" Laugh along. Child there. Where? Oops, forgot to care. Now I stare, towards the end that's never ending like this script. Never ending. Twist and bending. Don't kid me, I'm no kid. I'm the body of a youth, but I am dead. I've destroyed myself, if others didn't do a perfect job. Hold up stop! I'm letting go, a bubble that will pop. It will burst, destroying me, if it doesn't **** me first. Here I stand. Hear I cry. There I go. I have died.
I don't know if I posted this before, but I don't think so.
Lex Apr 2014
Mascara stained tears running down my cheeks as I cry.
My leg becoming numb from the constant shaking of my sobbing body.
My lungs, feeling empty, even when I take the biggest of gasps.
My body begging for air.
Begging for love.
Begging for a hug from someone, and encouraging words to fall from their lips, though it's covered up.
Begging for someone to tell me that I'll be alright.
Staring at my ceiling during the sleepless nights I encounter, though nobody knows.
My aching body, exhausted when I need to get ready to go out everyday, though it's covered up.
My pounding headache, and loss of concentration, covered up.
Nobody knows how I feel, because it's covered up.
My vulnerability hiding behind a sheer cover foundation layer of happiness.
Some see right through it, but you don't.
You force yourself to think I'm okay, when I'm not.
And then you try to force me too.
I know this poem is like really messy and jumbled up, but so is my brain.

— The End —