The things that I said
were meant to be so
unforgivable.. to the
point where you'd
never want to see me
or speak to me again.
I said it all for a reason.
To avoid getting hurt
by you once more.
But I miss you everyday
and I'm sorry for everything.
I'm not going to say anything
to you though. Because there
will only ever be one result: pain.

We never talk anymore..

You're a heartbeat that's fading, in and out..

We've been through this so many times now...


You've hurt me, you've hugged me, and we never say goodbye.

I wish you'd tell me why you're the one, whom
my mind has been focused on for the past twelve
hours.

Why'd you choose the spell devour when you
locked in our friendship?

Was I only ever your prey?

I guess you wanted it to always work; to stick well.

And it obviously has, since I'm inside an eggshell that has your pictures all around the wall that has me trapped inside; forcing me to dwell.

I'm writing this so that you'll know I'm not going to anymore.

I'll forget you eventually and it'll all be laid out on the floor.

Is it so bad that, this could be a movie?

I sink under the water
holding my breath until
I hear the thunder that
wakes me up and pulls
me out.

I grip my wash cloth as
I inhale steam, I'm burning.

My fingers touch the strings
everything's connecting
we're not strangers..

Oh, you want to talk?
It's been months now
I almost had forgotten
how you changed me,
                     *back then.

Right now I'm
outside looking
up at the sky
and I'm tired
of trying to
rhyme all
the time
everyone's
always
butting
into my life
it's as if they
want me to
be upset all the time?
one day I'm happy
the next day I'm not
but you know what
never changes?
Their screams that
spout from hatred.
Whatever happened
to telling me I could
accomplish greatness?
Because I'm tired of
waiting and chasing
while I'm complaining
as I'm suffocating beneath
your demands ****
I wish I'd just stand-
up to you.

When I hear your voice
my troubles melt away
and all the things that
were making me afraid
seem to stray.. but in the
back of my mind I'm
wondering if you *still
love me the same?

My
      thoughts
                 are
distorting
     my
         feelings
someone
              say
                  I'm
        ­              
dreaming..

I wish I were asleep right now
inside of a dream, not in town
you were once on my team, til
my sound gave out..
Why're looking at me like that?
It's causing my self esteem to go
d
o
w
n
s
t
r
e
a
m

Oh, I see it was all just a scheme.

I can't remember the last time I played my guitar and I know when he gets home he'll ask me whether or not I've been playing like the star that he wants me to be well no, I'm sorry.. Please don't hate me for not wanting to carry out your childhood dreams that somehow became my own I just want to survive without becoming too broken before the end.

When you're laying in bed
feeling basically half dead,
eden's playing through your
             h e a d s e t
and everything else is quiet.

I am Soraka Flocka Flame,
I go hard in the paint:
I'll make the bad guys go away
because I've got heals for days
that's right- look the other way
you can't handle this type of pain
I can tell that you're afraid.
Don't worry though because
I make everyone feel like this
all of your skill shots are amiss
and I bet I'm making you reminisce
about old times where you were fly
like the other game you played last night
but right now, I'm bringing you down
your teammates are calling you a clown
you're starting to believe you'll get reported
for  **f e e d i n g

Crawling in my skin
cringe, cringe, cringe-
it's a meme you dip!

*AyY **** bye!

I'm having a  
(b               t
        a
    l          s)
dancing all on
  m y   o w n
we were never
in the same show
and now I    

                       k
                         n
                           o
                             w
how much fun one
person can have **alone.

But where am I supposed to roam
when the bullying follows me
everywhere that I go, even *home?

The screen in my window is partially torn
one half is fully attatched while the other..
is caught in the wind that is slowly pulling
it along, waiting for it to let go and flow as
gracefully as the newly falling snow

But I am the other half, holding on for my
life because I'm afraid of heights that the
wind will lift me up to..

The glass that I am protecting is already
broken, so why shouldn't I let go?


                      Don't.


*N
     o
    w

  I
'
   m

        f
          a
            l
              l
          ­      i
              n
            g
          .
        .

In a dream I was walking, all alone.
A flower; I saw-

                             off in the distance..

it was all alone, like me.

24 hours ago I was someone different
but right now I'm crying right where I'm sitting:
in this old photo booth on the side of the beach
where you left me after saying that we should end things
because this wasn't turning out the way that you expected it to be.

Late at night when I'm trying to sleep
I often picture myself curled up; and
being cradled inside of a Chrysaora's
bell.. From time to time I'd glance out
at its tentacles drifting along with the
oceans waters as it carries me along
I eventually fall asleep, it holds me in
my dreams. I'm dependent on Jellies
they help me forget the bad things.

Last night I cried
until I had red eyes
hyperventilating;
I was
continuously saying
that I wanted to die
in between every breath
trembling;
I was
mumbling little nothings
that meant everythings yet
no one wanted to hear me.
I am
breathing;
steadily now, the next day.

You ask me why I'm crying and if
something is wrong- when I don't
respond you remind me to do the
dishes and clean off the counters-
don't forget to sweep the floor, "yes
every inch matters," I mumble that
I yawned and zoned out before I
could listen and you roll your eyes
as you walk away- unaffected
but you're the cause of all of this
tension don't act like you can't tell.
I think I must belong in Hell
knowing all of the thoughts I allow
to slip in and out of my mind..

I'm so ready to say goodbye..

I wish you'd all just go away
leave me alone- at least today.
I'm sick of you always telling
me what to do -especially you-
of all people.

You're so hypocritical.

Sinking down deeper into this body of water,
that's so cold I swear I'll freeze before they notice me.

Leave me alone*
I removed you
from everything
for a *reason.
You're wondering
why- maybe you
should've paid
more attention.
My point being:
I'm better off
without you.
*Goodbye.

Never ending, life keeps on going.
With or without you; time will not stop
and just when you think: "I've got this"
it all turns. The world struggles- one crisis
after another, people die and we all keep
trying to find new reasons to survive.
Someone, tell me **why.

I don't want to be, just pixels on a screen.

I throw my phone across the room
and scream as it shatters against the wall
how could you ever assume that I'd want
to see that content.. Tears easily escape my
eyes as I sit on the floor in distress and hide
my face in one hand. I hate you.  *Hate.

Everything is getting blurry as
you walk away from me in fury.
So many questions run through
my mind as I take in all the times
that we've had and where we've
been. You always find new ways
to make my head spin. Knowing
that you won't be anymore tops
it all off.

I wish I could move out tomorrow
turn away from it all and start new
somewhere that nobody knows me
where no one knows about the things
that break me so easily.

Now you're doing the things that we once did with someone else and I'm not okay with it. I told myself I'd never allow regret to seep into my mind and I still haven't but I'm feeling sad because of everything we built time and time again that I had to throw into the trash because of the things that you said and did. I hope it was worth it for you, obviously you've moved on without tears or pain while I am the one floating in the sea of disdain. You'll always be the friend I tried so hard not to give up on.

s i n k i n g
s l o w l y
I ' m
d r o w n i n g
s u f f o c a t i n g
i n s i d e
o f
y o u r
w o r d s
t h a t
a l l
c o m e
o u t
a s
s l u r s .

robotic
demon
that can
sound like
a kid or a man
or a dog or a wo-
man. Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.
Know that I love you.



PS,

Woof



PSS,

Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.
Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.H­a.Ha.Ha.
Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.
Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.
­Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.
Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.
Ha.Ha.Ha.­Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.
Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.
Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.
Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.
Ha.Ha.Ha­.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha.

♥

I'm dead inside
I just want to hide
no need to confide;
in me.

Why have you stopped writing
little nothings that hold such big
meanings?

I long to read your words and
hear your whimsical voice and
the sounds that escape your
mouth when you laugh.. Just
tell me what I need to say to
bring everything back..

I know right now you're surrounded
by the darkness; lost within your mind
and what's around you that makes you
want to (maybe)  cry?

I'm trying to be supportive and stick to
your side- I'm sorry that I'm at a loss
for words; and that I'm not sure why.

I'm supposed to know what to say, aren't I?

The moon is really bright tonight
we're partially drunk and having
a fight.

*All that I know is the moon knows why.

You tell me I have to start sleeping right
but you don't know why I'm up at night
and since when have you made decisions
about what I choose to do in my own life
the last time I remember you having a say
was way back when- before the rain came
inside my head is a war, it's been going on
for longer than you've been gone-
have no fear, this isn't your fault
it's mine for trying to rely on someone
*who is not myself.

Do you want to sit in the front seat?
Because I really don't at this point
when did I even start wanting to sit
there and why? Did I think it'd make
me feel more mature or somehow..
better? Than I was before or maybe
I felt closer to them since I was
sitting directly beside them..
All I know now is that I don't want
that seat that for whatever reason
became so important to me.
I don't want all these responsibilities either.
I miss the back seat and drinking mixed up
ice cream that I begged for so dearly
tell me why did I have to age; grow older
why did I long for it more than I longed to go
to the park down our road..
When did my cousins become my foe?
And why is everything so hectic; fast
*why can't everything just slow down..?

Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror
while in tears, you're telling yourself repeatedly:
just hang on, one more day, hour, minute, second..
but you feel and look so helpless..?