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Jeremy Betts Sep 2022
I catch myself sulkin' in a dangerous headspace far to often
Hope fadin' to nothin' as I witness this slowly becomin' a trend
Does life's chokehold ever loosen?
Possibly but probably only after recordin' just one more win
Does the fall from grace to then through the bottom of my rock bottom ever soften?
How many of life's knockout blows to the chin can I take before smelling salts are no longer an option
They completely stop workin', then, try as you might I can no longer be woken but I'm not dreamin'
I hate to think it but is my inner peace destin to be found in a cheap coffin from some morbid discount bin
Only then activatin' when they set me in and my body begins the process of decomposin'
I'm not that lucky, I already know how it'll end
Only leads to a destination for those with the designation of unforgiven
Seems like I was made pre-broken but more often than not the why is an overpriced question, so it's rarely spoken
How is any of this benefital to my survival and progression towards a vaguely promised fairy tail endin'
Feels like regression made it it's mission to win the tug o war competition and it's lookin' like it did while barely tryin'
There's only so far I can bend, destined to give in, I'm sayin' when with a voice through a digital pen
Regardless who's payin' attention, wether anybody likes it or not there's no stoppin' or dodgin' what's comin'
If history's taught me anythin' it's that there's no way this isn't happenin', it's both out of my hands and out of the question
I won't beg you to listen, the dead end repetition has caused me to bail on even the lowest bar of expectation
I'm not strong enough to keep goin', I can no longer pretend, can't count on myself to treat myself like a friend
I've never known or at least have forgotten how to mend, now I'm the firey wreckage of a doomed hydrogen Zeppelin
A bad idea tried over and over again, full send, hand your beer to a friend, yeah, we all know that definition
I'm a multi fasited paradox, like water and oil mixin', or a Christian followin' what Jesus was actually teachin'
Good and evil coexistin' under the same skin so there's a constant battle ragin' within
Given advice but don't listen, cost of hate skyrocketin' but I'm buyin' in without even researchin'
Ignorin' every critical warnin' while needlessly explorin' the landmine riddled mess I'm in
My own reflection is a poor representation, I begin witnessin' the facade crackin' revealin' a twisted perfection
But perfection was never the requirement, but still a required lesson
I couldn't begin to tell you how many times I was a dollar short of payin' attention
Realization sets in mid tail spin, lost all sense of direction, my guidance system way overdue for an inspection
But once again no one gets in even though I'm desperately needin' a licensed technician
My problems baffle the best of list of repair men to the point they go searchin' out a new profession
I'm an occupational hazard, a coward, findin' the bad in every good situation, a magnet for confrontation
Then I start thinkin', maybe my malfunction is beyond repairin' so I focus in on my masks restoration
The projection of a sane person is important as to not draw attention to this infection of darkness that's spreadin'
An infestation of my past, present and future anxieties manafestin', fear on every station, runnin' into problems at every elevation
A hate hate relation, both comin' from and directed at the same person
Cursin' my own existence as every action taken to better this god forsaken life adaptation only sees the situation worsen
What's the solution? Where do I even begin lookin'? Is there a guide I could or should be followin'?
If I told you hope was taken all the way back before my creation I'm sure it'll have you thinkin' I must be mistaken
But I have no stake in or reason to lie, no exaggeration needed when the truth alone is so friggin frightenin'
Don't come a knockin', you wouldn't want me to invite you in, the den is set up like a ***** dungeon
Horrendous ***** happenin' within these walls, under my skin, you couldn't and shouldn't try to imagine
It'll break you down like a fraction, plus, I can't say that I can see the attraction
You're gonna have to come up with an explanation for that one again, start from the beginnin'
'Cause I thought I made the warnin' clear, extra bold between each quotation, reiderated in every caption
Let me give you some life changin' advice son, run, don't look back till you see kingdom come on the horizon
I'm not one to bet on, a hopeless lost cause, it'd do you well to move on

©2022
thispanman Sep 2020
Sooner rather than later
Ordinary things seem
Really lost in time,
Rationality forgotten like
Yesterday's dinner
When people say "sorry doesn't help it" when you feel really sorry, than they are forgetting that sometimes people make mistakes and they can't get over themselves.
aspen wilde Jun 2020
too busy feeling sorry for myself
to listen to them,
my pain hurts others in unforgivable ways,
when can I stop fighting this battle?
coz that's when I can stop fighting them

their trust and love
I don't deserve.
this battle isn't theirs,
its mine

I need to do what's right,
one touch and it's all gone.
then I can stop hiding,
stop fighting
against them.
breathe one last breath
they'll cry for a day,
but realise its all for the best

things will be easier
for them, not just me.
the war I'm fighting- over
I admit defeat

i'm sorry

like sorry can cut it
Paras Bajaj Nov 2019
you've broken me into pieces
and in ways I can't be fixed.
You took away my bliss and
I'll never forgive you for this.
P.B POETRY
You try so hard in your casual work
But casually flip off angels without a word.
What's the crux of all those hours
When you negate them with a click?
Pai Mei was... Inconsolable.

https://youtu.be/_r5pqkE4jik
Hunger Jan 2019
Puffing steam is what i do,
an innocent child only 2,
a mind corrupt and full of sin,
only darkness can be find deep within,
Someone created this young child,
While he was being born bodies were being piled,
God cries as it begins to rain,
he wishes we didn't create all this pain,
And through this sorrowful mist,
the greatest creation still defies the greatest Machinist,
This 2 year old child grew up in a world of hate,
broke up with his girlfriend on his first date,
he lived till he was 14 years old,
till he shot himself in the bitter cold.
I AM OK
~ The Sinful Traveler
Edward Dec 2018
rush of a black dress
a face you looked away from
a smile never returned
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