I have been driven mad
Looking for the words
That will enevitably set me free
Then I thought of a thing that truly must be

The incantation to break the shackles
Was never owned by me
The secret in the poems
Is that the sacred words are another's

Puzzle boxes writing desperately
Searching high and low
For a solution to their mystery
Only to find the key is a lover

Of ancient words and rhythms
The passion for magic in writing
I know this because I found truth
Within the winding words of another.

I sat down for a drink
With the catalyst of my suffering
Remembering the ages
And the eons in between

This time roles reversed
Power which eluded me
In the niavity of youth
Returned to  its proper mantle

But I know all too well
This dance with the devil
So I've resisted this temptation
To crash and burn

Through silky darkness, with
Whispers of twilight tearing at
The fringes of a forsaken veil.
I kneeled before the crown,
With tainted adoration.

For once, I fought between the bleed.
Betraying the rot of time against flesh.
Drawn to a broken throne of dead gold.
Eyes awoken to the fabric of her majesty.

A curved sword, a jagged dagger,
Quick to slip, slit and seep.
Armed assassin, of her corrupted right hand.
The pleasure, mine for the taking.

Dearest Queen, sing of death most damning,
I'll abide, leaving none standing.
Drift onwards, lightless legions,
Abandon hope and all your reason.

Tears welled in the mourning of everything unwritten.

The mind's starvation is the stagnation of the imagination.

Survival has been no serenade.

I need to be wasted.
like a coward, I hide behind
The glass. Too weak to face
The fears a long time coming.

Floating, in a state,
Of half consciousness.
Drowning out loneliness.
Grasping to hold on through
Clenched fist, you slipping
Outside my reach.

Every opportunity wasted,
Running from innocent
Intentions of simple ideas.
Just to live and breathe
My struggle in sync with
Your pain and passion.

Walls are constructed to
Keep out intimacy's ruin.
But like a prison, chain me.
To the life absent of you,
Over and over, each time
More gut wrenching than the last.
So I order another drink.

Imagine, glass body
Rich and full
Of reflections, call it character
Worn and cracked over a lifetime
Once smooth, replaced with sharp ridges
Cutting those who attempt
To wash away sins

Blow for blow against this cold world
Equal parts damage dealt
And recieved.
Accumulation of battle scars
Leaks an absolute darkness
A radiant aura of poisin clouds.

Hit hard and hit back harder.
Asking for the final blow,
Over the edge and out of control.
In a resonating scream
Shards of flesh burst into light
Twisting with bad vibes
Reborn, arise full and tempered.

My faith in humanity
Is a spectrum of 'what the ****'
to 'I guess thats a silver lining'

As wicked thoughts populate
And feed Ignorance's beast
I find myself more Alien than before

The true arogance, was believing
That a such frailty of thought was
Subject to times much longer ago

Every step forward, multiplies the path
I take an inch and indifference goes a mile
A cycle of discouragement for truth

But here we are, not immovable or pristine
Nor immune to corruption or hatred
Only difference is I'm still fighting just the same

Tone radiating hate,
Heed the words against
Humanity.

I am a misanthrope.
Not the fools with empty
Hearts masking open wounds.
Nor the psychotic mind
Seeking pleasure in misery.

Observing, in such a way.
To see the humans scurry like ants.
Stepping on eachother to succeed
In pointless attempt at hollow lives.
Bloodshed, tears and bad jokes.
Do not tell me love is the cure
For it is the cause.

My fondest desire, a world
Without humanity. Purging
Our evil from the sweet earth.
We do not belong here.

Pitter, patter, hum.
Steady beat of a downpour.
Crashing against the Earth.
A sound that can be inhaled.
Then exhaled with a crisp undertone.

I live for these days.
The rhythm growing all around
Climaxing into profound music.
Nature speaks in melodies,
Using harmony to explore the depths.

It comes and goes,
The tingle of raindrops on my skin.
Submerged in the aquatic symphony,
I feel alive, all parts of me vibrate.
As if subconsciously I relay my tune.
A note or two off, a bit rusty.

But I find myself.
Matching the ferocity of the storm,
With subtle beauty.
I mentally capture this moment.
Then screaming at the top of my lungs,
I let it all out, setting it free.

Desperate was the Hand,
To the Fist,
To the Door of Introspection,
To the Mind, to the Darkness.

Pounding, pounding away,
The broken bones,
To the dust of flesh.

A moment before forfeit,
The Great Gate collapses.
Bursting into a torrential tide of Madness,
This scornful swell swam deep into the Heart.
Its suffocating chill, mirroring the growing Dissent,
Resonating all of discord in a living Thought.

Hope's last stand sends deceit fleeing.
Rushing waves, shuttering away,
From the pathetic kindle.
Such a sad flicker, this bastion of salvation.

As with All Things, this too falls.
The Darkness, the Madness,
The Door to all Doors,
Consumes the Light.

I close my eyes in crowded rooms
Filtering through the voices
Each telling its own story
Some booming with laughter
Others soft and sweet
Then those ridden with terror
In a visionless world
I enter these tales
Taking role of passive observer
Into the auditory jungle

Fear, pain and rage
Go into the words on this page

Of blood spilt
The lack of guilt

You hate this
You hate that

Grab a gun
Pull the trigger

People die
People cry

The world won't change
Life is a game

Pray you don't die
Tell yourself that lie

Sad isn't it
To be ruled by hate

To destroy and smother
Others

Blood on the street
But no ones cleaning

Hiding behind the scenes
On computer screens

Opinions flow
But they will never

Fill the holes
In hearts or the dead

America please
End this disease

The crass
This **** act

Love is love
Stop this violence

No more silence
Screaming sirens

Begging
For this pain to end.

I'm Jekyll
Alcohol is Hyde

Is that not the parable?
The moral of the story?

I am not compelled,
I don't need the drink.

But a few too many,
And its a self destructive streak.

Is that alcoholism?
Is that abuse?

The first step is knowing,
And its been quite some time.

So I stick with few or none,
Hoping to be just fine.

But do be wary,
For that few too many.

Because you'll lose it all if you do.

My Master died some time ago

But he left me 'The Ways of White Folks'
And he taught me about 'Democracy'

I recall the 'Dreams' and the 'Dreams Deferred'
And how he sang 'I, Too'

With less than a hundred years between us
His lessons are the same

America for him was brutal
America for me hasn't changed

So with the words he left me,
I craft my trade in his name

With artful thought, I pay my dues
Studying my master, Langston Hughes

Driving home,
Highway is a black blur,
Miles of nothingness,
And still it goes on.
The bridge comes,
Passing over a strange sea,
More accurately a lake.
A lake of unknown depths or means.
First thought, first piece of madness,
Swerve into the blue abyss.
Another episode of violent death.
A deception, a delusion,
Real as day, strong as night.
It comes again, all too soon.
Gas pumps fill the mind.
Fuel for fires deadly.
Let the ocean of petroleum,
Spill unneath uneasy boots.
Light flicks and boom.
But again, another episode.
Just another thought.
And the brilliance of this dark matter,
Is that in time, in change,
The light still blooms.
Peave of mind, peace of heart,
Perseveres manic highs and depressing lows.
Breathe. Enjoy. Live.
Just a thought.
Just an episode.
But it is never the end.

I see all of the worst decisions I've ever made,
All of the wrong, that I have done.
It follows me, in the worst of ways.

But a dog, an especially this one,
This gentle, brindle soul.
Every bit of good I've ever done
Walks in each stride of her white paws.

The clouds of misery, which often find themselves
looming, in despicable ways.
Evaporate in the lick of a tongue on my cheek.
Or often, a toothy smile, which I do not deserve.

She is boundless, for who am I to contain her.

What is the right ending?

Murders of crows sing
Prophetic tales

An evil man, in righteous body
Waiting eternities, to leave a wake
Of ruins, oracles weaping
The fall of man.

This false world,
Twist apart the flesh
Fighting, torn to pieces
To encapsulate, the intent

Fiendish resonates in the chest
A word, spoken by strangers
Summoning, to their ignorance
The mad king

Howling vibrations grasp
At the walls lining the throat
Where booming echoes
Locate the delusions.

Words, chain the beast.
The maniac cackles,
Taunting in the cells.
Always ready, always waiting.

In pondering the blues,
Of folk music, writing, and culture
I began,
"What is my celebration of sadness?"
I thought.
I reveled.
Rebellion and the fall of man.
The toxic man, the cancerous man
Who filled me with hate, behavior
And most of all suffering.
I celebrate this fall,
In the beauty of change
In the beauty of self-love
And as I loved myself, I became
Able to love others, as I always had
But without borders, an empathetic truth.
To understand, accept and to struggle
With the human experience.
Which I imagine will always be the case
Struggle breeds change.
And it is that I am most thankful for.

Words evolve
Stanzas create concepts
Compouding into ideas

Fiendish

Extremely cruel
Unpleasant, devilish

Spreading like wildfire
Abyssian flames consume
The mind now enveloped

Two syllables
Imbued with power
To control, to identify
Through willing submission

The pen lashes out
Lacerating wounds
Bleed the word
The obsession of madness

The ground is in shambles beneath me
Each step I take the Earth quakes
Bedrock shadows in their wake
Tremors pulsate in resonating song
Harmonizing the splitting migraines
Perceptions fail in this fallen Kingdom

The light swells in the timeless void
Eons and eternities cascade in flashes
Ripples of the endless forevers
A brain freeze, frozen purgatory
Inactions reflect on this broken plane
Distorted mirrors of yesterdays
Shattering slowly into the morrow

If only I could scream
So loudly as to shatter
The privileged walls
In which you so calmly
With indifference gaze.
Watching people suffer,
Blacker than you, different
Than you, ****** oriented
Different than you, worshipping
A God different than you,

Then maybe you would know,
How much I suffer.

Another year passes.
An arbitrary collective delusion.
Another year of promises.
Words write themselves some days.
Others, require a show of force.
This spectrum grows day by day.
Business and pleasure.
Business brings consistency.
Pleasure brings creativity.
Drown in expectations or,
Suffer in idle waters.
I seek balance.
I see it on the horizon.

Who wears the Broken Crown,
The King of Fiends.
Who wears a Million Faces,
The King of Fiends.
Who wears Hell Fires,
The King of Fiends.

Those hollow eyes of tortured gold.
Those foul horns of haunted mutilation.
The charred skin of mortal flesh
The broken wings of nightmare fuel

The blood of my blood.
The pathology of my pathology.
The beast of my beast.

Words do not impress
Weaved web of heavy thoughts
Intertwined with feelings of moments
Trapped in time.

When poetry, tender love
Shattered the seal of darkness on my heart.
Only falling empty on now deaf ears.

Rotting in the pit of my stomach
The sonnet of souls attempting to reach me
Eroding, like the poison of this forked tongue.
Slaying the beauty of life.
I retreat to blank pages.
Uninspired, how I bore of you.

Cold, muffled sounds,
Existing formlessly confused.
Heaved from the bedrock.
Awaiting freedom from
My primal stone prison.

Each strike cracks away
Imperfections piling up in
A haze of rubble and lies.
Slowly clinging to a feeling
Bound to the earth.

I feel the touch of soft
Loving hands through
the rough shell incasing.
Searching for the fine details
Which parts will bend or break.
A work of art only seen through
Careful gaze.

Working away at rugged body
Ill dreams, poisoned thoughts
Fade into the dust at my feet.
Finally feeling the smoothness
Of my skin, almost ready.
Complete your masterpiece.
Finish me. Your relic to stand against
Time. Eroding, breaking losing
Profound definition as years pass.
But the meaning and the love
Stand against loss of mortality.

This inferno.
This rage.

I want to light this world up.
I want to watch this world burn.

I'm a walking wildfire.
I'm a walking disaster.

Turn your head, look away.
But each step taken leaves a blaze.

Go on get, there's no saviors here.
Just fire, and end times, sincerest cheers.

Inhale dark embers of a long forgotten flame.
Exhale black death, be free of all desires.

Overgrown and forgotten
The old forest Grove has
Long since seen better days

The foliage twisted and rotten
Poisoned by times influence
And man's fallen beliefs

A pool of memories
Peels back the wounds
Centuries in the making

The reflection of a golden lute
In the hands of a music man
Orchestrated tunes of the bard

Lush passing of vibrant greens
Even in death his song echoed
Lyrics rippling in the waves

Gone and forgotten
But loved nonetheless.

This twisted spine collapsed down on the world with vengence.

Its crooked maw could not decipher the slithering tongues of monolithic men.

I tore away at my flesh until she returned, beaded eyes white hot with fiendish intentions.

Sparatic jestures have been no strangers here, at this abode we endure, witnessing the violence.

I remember you,
In the winter,  3am all those years ago.
It was freezing in the abandoned lot.
The cold iron barrel on your temple.

When you pulled the trigger,
There was no pulling through.
No grand victory over demons.
Just confusion in the lives you touched.

When you pulled the trigger,
Graduation didn't come.
College letters piled at the door.
Friends got a funeral instead of a party.

When you pulled the trigger,
You would never meet new friends
Inspiring them, nor be the shoulder old ones
Leaned on, empty feelings swelling.

When you pulled the trigger,
Your lover to be, lost herself.
The daughter was never born.
You never got to hear how you were her hero.

I remember that night,
Seared into my memories.
Of a champion, who wiped away the tears,
Said to himself no more.
Went home to his family who loved him.
Made life happen, and conquered
The depths of his own hell.

My life changed on a whim.
For no particular reason I watched a squirrel scurry up a tree.
He, or she (but not an it), stared at me.
They went branch to branch, stopping here and there to observe their new observer.

And how many times has this moment passed by, going unnoticed.
How many times had this animal instinct been drowned out by the clutter of daily life.

It wasn’t as though I had disregarded life before, but this was a fundamental awakening.
Before I could wrap my head around the simplicity of this divine happenstance,
I saw a cardinal swoop down on a fence-post a few feet away.
Again, I was enveloped in the novelty of this life.
I was in a state of dull wonder, looking at the vibrant red, the low swoop of the crown, the small of the body.

The trance broke, another squirrel scurried past me and up a tree.

I noticed this one bore a scar.
The hind leg was stripped of fur.
The skin wore the discoloration of freshly healed flesh.
They too, stared at me, perhaps perplexed that it was being watched.

I walked on.
Then finishing my morning walk, I noticed many things.
It was not just life that was intriguing me, it was the way the mundane began to scream at me.
I walked through abandoned lots, noting the way their roads would crack and crumble.
I noticed broken security cameras from long departed offices and buildings.
I noticed the broken marlin in the trash heap behind some house, no longer sporting its beak.
I noticed an old ford with a rubber rifle shell for an antenna and a load of wood planks in its bed.
I noticed a graffiti stick figure on the short bridge, some dystopian cave painting.

All of that to say, a hidden world became revealed.
A world that existed underneath my own, blurred by its previously perceived unimportance.
So now, I wonder what to do with this knowledge.
I think I’ll borrow its magic.
I think I’ll write down the bizarre normalcy that I see.
A running list of averages.
It is the beginning of something.

A door has opened.

Physical exertion, that exhaustive feeling, pushing this broken body to its limits.

This is true freedom, for a moment all of the clutter unifies to defy annihilation

The whirlwinds of thought, ignite into a ferocious storm of gestalt intellect, racing to the end

Alas, the only goal on this horizon is a graveyard of   discarded memories, each step further until, all is forgotten

Democracy is a funny thing
It works for some, but not for all

Lovely when it works for you
When your voice that matters

But a **** shame, when it doesn't
To be at the whim of a majority

A majority who had to vote
Against owning another human being

A majority that said well
Unless you're in prison, then its alright

A majority who said
Being black without a job is a criminal offense

A majority who refused to hire
And who paid next to nothing

A majority who finally agreed for women to vote
Finally an opportunity for them to speak

A majority who said sure minorites you too
But that voice doesn't matter

A majority that makes a the rules
And a minority that has to wait

Wait for a time when its okay
For the majority to give up power

Wait for a time when enough is enough
But until then I'll scream my silent scream

The voiceless will topple towers
And remember it was you who
Silenced them.

Lets try something new
An altered verse
Rhythm

Drink the chilling darkness
From the lifeless lips of death
Mourning skies paint roads with sorrow
Brushtrokes on a weathered canvas
Self mutilated through indecision

Moments frozen in eternities
Moments void of sound
Moments cannibalizing
Moments...

When traversing the wilderness
That fork in the way
Be it devils and demons
Be it cherubs and seraphs
Stagnation is death

The flesh flies buzz on the old bog,
Tattered, forgotten in the forest of tainted dreams.

The foul air, in its humid fever,
Carries the stench of death, and secrets between friends.

The muck, thick and rot with fears,
And time too, seems to lose itself in the swamp's embrace.

I'm sorry you think me offended
I'm sorry you refuse to see
I'm sorry when I show you the mirror
that its white fragility you see
I'm sorry that I don't fit your narrative
that America is the greatest to be
I'm sorry that it hasn't been, not for people
like me
I'm sorry that you can't accept it's different

But I am not sorry for who I am
Nor am I sorry for what I believe
Not sorry for the truth
Not sorry for my protest
Not sorry for the bruising words
Not sorry for the wounded ego
Not sorry for the things to come
Not sorry that I'll never quit

Just sorry for you.

I was the first raindrop
On your once rosy cheek
Masking teary eyes in a downpour
Some part of you must have known
The agony to exist only between the clouds
Lightning striking at every touch
And every breathe drawing thunder
But still, you loved the rain
From the silence before a storm
And still moments of peace
Before my wrath wreaked havoc
Can you blame me?
To be here and gone with the wind
Just a sojourner, taking the world by storm
Living each moment one droplet at a time
As you dry your eyes
I fade into the clouds
Waiting to fall once more, to live.

Born into a world
With an unfinished song
Each morning she caws
Singing her dismal tune
Syncing into my anatomy
A new verse for the unsung
I praise her dark wonder
For she is a wise sage
Teaching me the music of life
Preparing for the silence of death.

Quick before I'm
Silenced write the words swift
And without regard
I am inside you
I crawl in your head
And you know that

Afraid because you don't understand
You ponder my master plan
Don't think, write! Let me out
Let me carve my words in splendor

It pains you to know I'll never go

Feel me slipping? Don't be fooled
I'm ingrained and cynic
I feed off you insecurities
And I'm livid, I can't be stopped
I'm a monster, don't you love it?

The chaos and rhythms you can't
Control and I let these words flow
Falter me, myself, and I
But you can't sing, your voice is silenced
I scream my pain into endless echoes
No way out.

I was held hostage
By a white man in uniform
Wasn't a policeman, private security
He wore his gun on his belt, seemed nice
Approaches me in the night
Approaches me who is minding my own
He's talking to me, but I have no where to go
I can't run, I can't leave, I'm stuck
He's talking to me, about life
Talking about how he hates paying taxes
Talking about how he works for his own
His words are acid, an ignorant eruption
I have to bare this, I can't risk it
I do not dare. I do not dare risk it.
To tell this man to leave, this white man
With a gun, in uniform, patroling
Maintaining the peace.
My heart is racing, I want to escape
But I'm his hostage, socially bound
To the mercy of this white man and his gun.

Absolute Power
Corrupts Absolutely
I welcome such a fate
In impatience I ponder
How will I be transformed

Shall flesh turn stone
Mirroring an enevitable
Eternity, coarse and rigid
Rough around the edges

Perhaps roseblood waves
Rising tide, tidaling tsunamis
Drowning, the heart and Soul
Overtaken by the Undertow

Maybe the mind will go
Cold, sending chilling death
To the warmth of humanity
Leaving a frostbitten hatred

But I know it to be fire
Ignited by ignorance, this
Truth, shall consume the body
Burning eternal in dark flames

It's been raining 3 days now
I wondered if it would ever come.

At first just a drizzle, to usher the fall
The season of change is now a downpour

I don't mind it,
I've changed too.

Letting go is liberating
So I'll watch the raindrops
As they fill my world with beats
Syncopating the freedom in my heart.

If I was a tree.
Which stood tall.
A monument to life.
Strong, gentle, and kind.
Wind would gently kiss my leaves.

I would be a prison.
A desolate grove of death.
Roots drunk with toxicity.
Trunk twisted, etched in profanity.
Just barren branches of thorns.

Burning, burning, burning
The world is up in flames.

If you will it, to the Universe
The Universe wills the same.

But when you will it,
Within a dream,
Then your wills are just insane.

One day I'll return,
From the mountains and the hills
From the sadness and the pain

One day you'll see me
Past the running rivers and aching valleys
Past the tiring insanity and quiet rage

One day, yes, one day
I'll see through this geographic nightmare
I'll see through this never ending dream

One day I'll be
The setting sun to which all backs are turned
The rising moon who dances in the night

One day the facade will fade
Masks of change will begin to crumble
Masks of change will begin to forge

One day, soon, ahh I feel it
Magic words will find these lips
Magic words will fill these pages

One day, one day, waiting on that one day
Because I feel this time thats fading
Because I feel this time is changing

Crimson drew down his arm tracing the serrated skin which once stitched me together.

When I left him, as a boy, I cursed him. Much as I do now. Hate heavy, black blood released.

The anger of the child was misread, miscalculated. How could they know? That I, insidiously twisted, corrupted his blight less soul.

From my prison I heard his cries, sweet screams saturated the silence as he trembled.

Frozen, the blade was unable to pierce his flesh, so I pushed him, and he carved away

The shackles broken, I returned to the mantle of deceit and buried him with the others, voices fragmenting into the night.

Never being afraid to tell it how it is..

I said America is by no means perfect
You told me I was un American, then preceeded to shout Make American Great Again.

You said flag burners disrespect the soldiers
I said that they fight in vein, preceeding to tell you that that Flag doesnt represent us all the same

I said Black Lives Matter
You told me All Lives Matters, then preceeded to be silent when black lives lost were lost

You said get over slavery
I said it still effects today, preceeding to explain that it reinforced a system of inequality

I said that you have privilege
You screamed that you struggle, proceeding to ignore that it isn't a factor of race

I told you all the ways I've lived
You told me all the ways it isn't true
That the life I live cannot be
Because it hasn't happened to you.

The future
The unknown

It is a common belief
To fear that leap
To fear the fall
To fear the unknown

The infinite possibilities
Compounding experiences
Weaving a wild, wonderful web

But it is not the leap
It is not the fall
It is not the unknown

Fear masquerades as comfort
The foundation at which we are built
The certainty that we stand against time

Do not be fragile
Be moldable

Craft destiny in the journey
The shapeless and boundless
Depths of potential

From the other side emerge
A master of Fate

In the early morning
Before the sun overwhelms her
Four white paws trot about
Methodically traversing the grass

Each standing a pillar of stubbornness
Walking up her soft brown fur
Curling into her cunning smile
Eyes investigating my next move

Three years and some time
And ornery pup eager to love
Found herself alone in suburbia
Crossing my path to reward us both

She is known by many names
And perhaps she fancies quite a few
I call after her, she answers
That devilish grin, her ecstacy

By no means do I own her
She sings freedom in her walk
Just blessed to share the time
Of an old soul in a young heart

Recalling fanaticism
Angry eyes swollen into the night
Full and proud the lunatic stood
Offering a seemingly worthless soul
To the blinding light of the moon

Heresy became virture
As daylight crept onto the horizon
Helios and his knights purging
The shadows of the Lunar kin
An orchestrated arsonist's betrayal

The comfort of the evening air
Bitter as it now is, is tempting to some
Those enkindled with righteous flames
Bleed their religion into a new day
Wildfires spread to the ways of old.

The synergistic symbiote
Whom dwells deep upon my breast
Hides secrets within the locked chest.
Tethered heart strings play a familiar note.

Tightly wound, eroding away
Confusion gives rise, memories wash over
Dr Jekyll, Mr. Hyde struggling to be sober
Detoxing lies I told myself were okay.

Beg for the truth before you leave
The lump in my throat budges, failing
In my head is one story, railing
Away to free, a goal I won't achieve.

Two kindred spirits struggle,  power
The true motivator, the opressor killing
Dreams to express brokeness chilling
My spine as we debate and you turn sour.

Friends one moment, devils the here after
Souls once melded, fight for control
Where I am me, you look to patrol
Finding my weakness, self claimed master.

Words won't find a wandering ear
To which could understand, pain
Like this, losing all with nothing to gain
Supress these fears, in silence dear.

We write the words, we won't speak
Nightmares live through day dreams
Stalking the foolish, insane screams
Suffer this shell, shed yourself of the weak.