Did you lose weight in hopes
you'd lose the guilt of the shame you made me gain?

please don't
doubt how
much love
for you
resides in
this heart
of mine,

and,

please take
good care
of the heart
that lies
in the palms
of your hands.

you make me mad,
out of mind,
you make me want
to lose my
**** over you, but
no thanks,
you aint **** anyways.

im not going
to compete
for someone
who is not mine,
that is not the
game for me.

concealment
is just a lie in disguise

got your hand off my hand,
the thought off you off my mind,
the pain lifted off my heart,
your name off my tongue,
off you go baby

I look for beauty
even when it's dripping
in the corner of an alley
filled with all the monsters
underneath my bed
and inside my head.

My thoughts tremble
in the empty space my sanity used to occupy,

My hands search for the warmth you gave that they lost,

My lungs beat up my heart everytime they gasp for air,

My cheeks start dribbling down my face along with my tears,

My mind tries to convince me to love myself when I’ve become the vacuum of breathing, kept cold by the sanity that left along my thoughts.

Sometimes I feel like you
seem to forget
that we're on the same team,

and where love lies,
egos die.

I’ll stay for the afterparty of our conversations, but I know your party is for one.

at this forbidden hour,
Cinderella has to be home,
yet her hands are gently being kissed
as her heart turns into a pumpkin,
ready to be patched in mid March,
she dances with a broken glass heel,
twirls the ticking clock,
making the hour golden.

trust that you can,
learn to be motivated
believe in your potential
and love to thrive.

I just want to love
you completely,
unrestrictedly,

but I also have to
protect the very
thing that wants
to that

why is it that you only care about my feelings,
when someone else is the cause?
you hurt my feelings more.

Is this how you want to write our story?

Is that how you want to define our love?

Are those the parts you want to hold on to, stronger than you hold onto me?

Are you happier with these thoughts you prisoned in your head?

Is this

Is that how you want to end our story?

a silent cry
tells it all,
short breaths,
giggles in between,
is the truth funny
or is the reality just another
joke no one laughs at...

The truth is that
learning things
the hard way
is enforced
on all of us,

Free will
is nothing more
than an illusion of
an autonomy promised
to all of us,
But also one
that can never really
be fully obtained
by any of us.

I miss looking at the world
with rose-colored glasses,
it seems that I can't figure out
where I placed them.

all we need
is some sparks
and devotion
in our eyes,
and a little
bit of love
floating in a
pool of trust.

in the moment,
we endure the pain,
we accept the challenge,
we live to survive,

but somewhere down the line,
we have to heal
we try to forget
we learn our lessons.

I find inspiration in the alleys
of my mind,
with late night walks
and roads that I've walked on before,
almost too many times,
and also too many may regret,
but is it really regret
when I am still walking
with my mind inspiring the night..

don't let
the ship sink,

and if
it happens,

don't
leave me
behind,

drown me
in your love.

I re-release you

no one's past should
define who they are today,

unless their present
is merely an extension
of the supposedly
dead and buried.

I gave you something
that belongs to me,
and all you left for me
was the gift receipt.

You make me
sad,

he makes you
sad

and that still
makes me
sad,

what is going
on here?

falling for someone again
is scarier than the first fall,
because you know
how much love
your heart can carry
and how much sorrow
love can carry

My dear
the future
is new,
it's the unknown
that you probably want to explore,
so go ahead,
move on,
move forward,
live for the present
and reach for what's awaiting you,
leave all behind
that belongs
to the past
and the gone,
be one with the wind,
let it move you
as if your entities
were made of sand,
scatter into
what's meant for you
and who's the one for you.

At times,
my heart pumps emotions
that don't belong to me,
that cut deep enough to
make me acknowledge that self-destruction can
never take a form stronger than this.

I am so sorry for wanting this,
but what's so wrong about wanting it anyways?

it's the friend
that's always
there for you,

it's the hand
that reaches out
to you before
you even
get the chance
to ask,

it's the voice
pushing you
forward
when all you
want to do is
give up,

it's the warm
embrace
that seduces
serotonin into
your veins,

living in the moment
lasts for the moment,

loving myself
requires living every single moment

nobody prepares you
for the day
you lose
your self-worth,

nobody tells you,
"just because you can
do something, doesnt mean you should"

settling for less is the war
everyone's trying to flee from,

but in fact,
settling for less is
an extra shot of espresso
in the coffee that we
drink each morning
in an attempt
to avoid being alone
for the rest of the day.

take my secret
and bury it in
your chest,
you can visit it
every now
and then,
just don’t give
it too much
attention,
it feeds on and is
greedy for
grudges,
it will not hestitate
to steal the
spot light from
your heart.

I think the world is too big for us sometimes. We are stuck in specific spots of the world, and often borders and airplanes limit us from discovering the neighbhouring country. It’s funny sometimes our big world is too small for many.

I guess I am a little sorry,
but not really,
I mean, I try to be sorry.

the first time
our lips met
didn't feel foreign,
it was as if
you were my home
country
and I had only just
entered your land,
then took a taste of the berry tree
which my greatest grandma had grew,
in either ways;
she would be
******.

sick of all the
games everyone plays,
and all the
rules I have to abide to,

sick of all the things
I need to do,
and all the times
I must silence
myself away,

sick of going
through the hardships
just to enjoy the
good times for
a little while,

sick of proving
to others
my success, my self-love,
my worth,

sick of stressing
about life before it happens,
and forgetting to just live.

At first,
I thought you
were special
because you made
my heart play
beautiful melodies,
it turns out that
my heart is the
special one
because it plays
beautiful melodies.

here's a map to my heart,
and here's a knife while you're at it

Ladies,
your standards are the not the problem
your standards are their problem
and your problem is how low
the bar has been set.

this heart
healed itself
just so that you
can enter the
premise
and have
a warm stay.

you envy me for my resilience,

but you forget
the way I break harder than needed.

Me, the world, and stupid people .