Am I nothing to the words that reach minds only to what pleases the eye?
am I just hearts love to a ****** in the jungle midst of a world full of lustful hate?
what makes me less desirable with a soul that lays in pieces than one that lays in a whole.
Do all the stars aligned fault at my seeking?
am I a failed soul waiting for a breath of another?
feels like the world has left me for more lovable things
seems like the challenge of my heart has left me alone in despite of loving every individual strongly
for I scream to the universe to make there stars align not for my benefit
only indefinitely of there own.
In all efforts I can accept the disappointing reality, givers aren't here to receive.
i always write when i’m in a bad place every word i try to reflect my own emotions.
Even in a situation I had once or twice,
begrudgingly dreamed myself in,
never anticipating the morphing from one state to another,
of contemplation to reality,
I no longer dread.
Even within the month that usually drags me to my knees,
I accomplish the impossible and turn my sight towards the sun,
golden hour still exists and dust still sways in its light.
even with all of this,
my mind and body still dance.
A thought in mid-November air
Why do you think
Of such horrid things?
Do you think It will fix the pain?
That rains upon you day?
Or is the loneliness,
Consuming your wholesomeness?
Maybe it’s the hardships
Pushing you to your limits.
Is this world just too dark?
And you can't find a spark
To light your path?
You think death is the answer?
Cause you're surely mistaken.
While you say such horrid things
I still fake happy,
Listening to you complain.
can . not see?
still, i remain in the same place
can . not see what . do to me?
. words living on in my mind
. tone that i can only feel when i think
of the weapons of words . use on me,
when . frustrations
. inexplicable, emotions
are inflicted on me.
soon, everyday i start to live in wait
for . explosions to be over with
will it be today? tomorrow? if I'm lucky not this week? if I'm fortunate not this month?
soon, everyday i begin to live in fear
please spare me from . explosions
please spare me from .
i cannot remain with ., like this.
i don't want to live with ., like this.
please, give my breath back to me.
please, stop taking away all i have from me.
please, let me live free
please, don't look at me.
i can't even mention . without anxiety springing from chest, thrumming through my veins
i dare not look . in the eyes.
i dare not be me
when .you're. near.
Me: I'm sad
My soul: It's just a phase for it shall pass.
Me: I'm happy today
My soul: Its just a phase for it shall pass
I have forgotten how
real happiness tasted like.
I no longer remember
the last time when I wore an actual smile.
Now, I hardly believe in the
"happy v/s the sad" days
For now, its
"worse v/s the worst" days..
in the moment,
we endure the pain,
we accept the challenge,
we live to survive,
but somewhere down the line,
we have to heal
we try to forget
we learn our lessons.