I’m going to be honest,
I’m not a love poet
But if I was to wake up tomorrow morning
And decide that I really wanted to write about love
I swear that my first poem…
It would be about you

About how I loved you the same way
That I learned to ride a bike:
Scared
But reckless
With no training wheels or elbow pads
So my scars can tell you the story of how I fell for you
~Rudy Francisco

I’m not Rudy Francisco
But every man has his own words

So if I was a love poet
God knows I would still write about you
But I would write about how
That smile of yours might only last a moment
But I'll do everything I can to make it last a lifetime
And then... I will make sure it lasts an eternity

If I was a love poet
I would tell you how
You make all of my days
So I'll make it my duty to make all your tomorrows

I would tell you
That the sun rises each and every morning
Because it wants to see you
Because as bright as the sun is
It is blinded by your light
And you make me want to see
What blindness is really like
So I can look at you for the
Short moment before I lose my sight
Because then
Your image will always be with me

However, If I really cared
I would tell you
You’re better off alone
Than with me
Because I know
I know I’ll hurt you
And I can’t bare the thought of that

I would tell you
I’m not enough
And I never will be
Because enough isn’t in me

If I really cared
I would tell you
Nothing
Because I don’t deserve the chance to speak to you

However to tell you any of this
You would have to be real

Gives Thanks
Because if you're reading this
You have a screen that you're reading off of
Eyes that see
And the ability to read

Give thanks
Because even if you're going through dark moments
You are still having moments

Give thanks
Because no matter how long it takes
People can see change in you
And eventually they will forgive you
For the things you have done

Give thanks
Because there is a day set aside to be thankful
Because as humans
We have so much that we take
Almost everything for granted

Give thanks
If for nothing else
Give thanks
Because you have air to breathe
And your heart is still beating

As kids
We were taught to cheer for the hero
The picture perfect role model
The one we all strived to be
The one that always found a way to win
No matter what the odds

He always made the decisions
He Should make
And the only mistakes he made
Were ones that could be corrected
So he could keep his perfect image

We cheered for the hero because
When he was faced with tragedy
He didn't drown in sorrow
But instead used it as a springboard
To become something greater

He always saved the day
And everyone who needed
And he never failed to rescue someone
Not even once

So we held him up high
Because that's what we wanted to be

But overtime
We learned that the hero is just a fantasy
He only lives in comics
Because that's where he was meant to be

So we learned to side with the villain
Not because we're evil
But because the villain is more real
More human

When the villain was faced with tragedy
He did what was human
He attempted to swim
In the flood of sorrow
But couldn't swim forever
He drowned

The villain is relatable
He makes the decision
We Would make
He did what he thought was right
Or at least what was necessary
To provide the needs of
Or to avenge
His family

But eventually
He became blinded
To what he did
And he couldn't see
That he was wrong

Because the villain isn't perfect
He's just like us
The villain is human

So we side with the villain
Becuase we feel his pain
We relate with his emotions
We understand his actions

Perfection is something we can't be
So we stopped cheering for the hero
When we realized that's who we can never be
And started to side with the villain
Because he's just like you and me

Maybe when we learn to embrace
the fact that we are Human,
We're far from perfect,

Maybe when we begin to accept
the fact that we have problems,

Maybe then we'll begin to find
the solutions.

There they were
Just the two of them
Surronded by many
Yet in their own world
She laid her head on his shoulder
And he held her tight
Because he wanted her forever
She drifted into the happiest sleep of her life
He saw her and he just smiled
Because he knew
She was happy

Is it wrong to be happy for others
To smile when I see others happy
I saw them
I was happy for them
Maybe because I want to be happy

Is it wrong to want to be happy
I want to be so happy
I feel high
Because I'm so low
Hell seems like a high

Is it wrong to want to be happy
Even after everything I've done
Something in me wants to be happy
But I don't deserve it
So I deny myself the experience of happiness

Instead I intrude on others happiness
Because all I want in life
Is to know how happy feels

Sometimes we run.
Sometimes not fast enough
to escape our problems.

But sometimes we run so
fast we forget to slow
down and enjoy our gift.

"It's Alright"
I hate those words
Because when dealing with death
They are complete lies

But what should I say
Should I lie and tell him
It's alright
When I know that isn't true

Should I burden him with the truth
That it's not alright
And his hero is now a ghost
Never to return

I think and I try
To find somehing else to say
But my mind blanks
When I need it most

So I lie
And tell him It's alright
Because I don't know what else to say

I have many problems in life
What to eat
What to wear

But my main problem
My main problem is that I Care

I care about my car
But I don't care about me
I care about my grades
But I don't care about me

I care about my parents
But I don't care about me

I love and care those I call my friend
But I don't care about me

I care
But I don't care about me

My car can't care about me
My grades don't give a **** about me

My parents have four others
To care for before me

My friends have their own life
And people to care about

And this I understand

But I don't understand
Why each and every day
I put myself through Hell
And I don't know if I'll make it back

And I do that for all these things
These people
Because I care

I care that they make it through
I care that they are alright

So I care for all of these people
But I don't care about me

If I was a love poet
I'd say I love you the
same way a smartphone
loves wi-fi;

Able to work without
you, but only fully
functional when I'm
with you.

"One day you'll find someone like you."

"I hope not."

What is a smile
I wish I knew
I smile so much
I've forgot its meaning

Never do I smile for its true purpose
Because Happiness and joy
They're lost causes

Now when I smile
It has endless meanings

Usually it means
I'm just trying to act normal
Because faking smiles
That's normal

Why
Why were we taught from birth
To hide our feelings
All of them
Joy
Sadness
Anger
Depression

The world doesn't need to know
The world doesn't Want to know

I smile to hide my everything
When I'm mad at the world
And the person I hate most

I smile
When I'm depleted of strength
And struggle to lift myself out of bed

I smile
When I'm completely broken
And I know I can't be fixed

I smile
When I'm happy
And no one will ever know

I smile

Once again
A chapter draws to a close
But unlike before
This chapter could be a story of its own

From new faces
Who became family
To learning
I can write

From the pain
Of losing friends
To learning
Some things can never be made right

But now the chapter's closing
The story is coming to its end
My newly found family
Has a new path to follow
But I guess even from afar
They'll be my inspiration to write

So as the chapter comes to a close
And the final pages are turned
The last memories are made

And with me
All of them
Will Remain
Forever

"It'll be alright"

I hate those words
In the times we say them
They are complete lies

You failed a test
"It'll be alright"
You broke your arm
"Don't worry, it'll be alright"
You're dog died
"It's okay, it'll be alright"
You're on your death bed
"It will all be alright"
The person you looked up to
The one that you wanted to proud of you
He died
Your mother
The one that was always there for you
Even when you didn't want her to be there
She died

"It'll be alright"

No, it is absolutely not alright
How could it be?
It can't be alright
These things, these people
They can't come back
No one can bring the dead to life

But what words should be said
Should we tell them the truth
Life won't be the same
They aren't ever coming back

No
So we all just lie
Because
"It'll be alright"

Dear Tristan,

          Metallica is your favorite,
          But Poison is your remedy

Dear Tristan,

          You say your good at math,
          But you apparently can't count

I want to speak
I want to say hello
I want to say I love you and I always have
I want to tell you I keep going in hopes that one day
I might really know you
I want to tell you how even though you are human,
Somehow, you are perfection
I want to say I'll be there for you when no one else is
I'd love to tell you death is a small price to pay
To see you smile

But instead I tell you nothing at all
Because my voice,
My voice is a toxin
That freezes hearts
And when I speak
The toxin pierces my lips
And I am helpless to stop it

It wouldn't matter what I'd say
My voice would stab you as if it were a knife
And it would leave permanent scars

My voice would stain you with
All of the horrors that are me

So I'll keep those words to myself
And pray that you'll find someone
That can make you
Smile

Dear Tristan,

          How is it you constantly tell the truth to others,
          But you always lie to yourself?

Childhood
     >Insert Tragedy<
2. Lost
3. Found...   Depression
4. Froze
5.Watched the world
     >Insert miracle maker<
6. Found Happiness
7. Watched Life
     >Insert real problem<
8. Found Boldness
9. Solved Problem
10. Live

Everything happens for a reason
I didn't know how right you were
If I had known an injury is what it would take
I would have injured myself long ago

To know that you would call me a friend once more
Brings joy to my heart

And I'm sorry for the time
We weren't friends
For the wrongs I committed
And I pray that one day you might forgive me

But now that we're friends
I want to hear about your day
And the things that make you happy

I hope that one day we might become more
That we would call each other
Brother and Sister

More so than anything else
I promise
I will always be there for you
No matter what

Dear Tristan,

          You're a coward,  
          But you're too scared to admit it

There she was
Helpless as could be
Something so simple
Yet was breaking her heart

And there I was
In the seat next to her
All I did was watch
As the tears rolling down her face
Became wet spots on the paper
Haunting the rest of her days

In life it seems
We only see opportunities
Once the chance to take them
Is gone

Opportunity to say the words
We've been wanting to say

Opportunity to save the day
Of the person we've always wanted to save

Opportunity to do what's right

I look back and all I see
All I see is
missed opportunities

I've heard that you really don't know what you have until it's gone
Sadly now, I know it's true

It was not death itself that made me realize this
But the reaction of the one's it affected
The one man that would call me a friend
Broken
In tears
With his heart in pieces

And I couldn't do anything to help
I stood there as he sobbed
I watched his heart tear in pieces
He was helpless

I can't mend broken hearts
I don't have the right words

I've hadn't ever seen broken
Until I saw those tears
Rushing down his face

Then, I realized
I cannot mend a broken heart
I can't stop the tears from falling
I can't say the right words

I just have to watch
As the ones I tell myself I care about
Are ripped to shreds
By the death of a great man

So all I can do is
Hope and Pray
That one day
He'll be close to the same

Wake up
Eat
Teeth
Drive
Think
       A lot
Drive again
Move
Shower
Eat
Sleep

It's simple, but it isn't.
most days don't go the way
I plan them.

The sidewalk of the shower
isn't flat. I can't hit the high notes
in the songs I sing.

I only believe that when I
don't hear them.

Not every problem has an
answer that looks like a puzzle
because all the pieces aren't

always in the box. Sometimes,
my pen goes dry.

Scientists blame a god they don't
believe in for problems
without an answer.

When I'm given a problem I can't
find an answer to, I look up
"You know what to do."

Dear Tristan,

          You want to be a hero,              
          But you wouldn't save everyone

I've always wanted to fly like Superman
I've always wanted to have the prescence of Batman
I have always wanted to get the girl like Spiderman
Mostly,
I've wanted to be a hero like Captain America

I've always wanted to save somebody
And the world if I could

But I can't
I'm no hero

If every villiain is the hero of his own story
Then what does that make me
Because I see myself as the villian
Surrounded by the heroes
All wearing their masks

I use to wear a mask
I took it off
But I don't look much different
My eyes were stained
Stained with the horrors of life

And look at me now
I am one of those horrors

I'm no hero
But I don't know what I am

Dear Tristan,

          They see good in you,
          But you know it's not there

Keep it together
That's all you ever do
Say you have a breaking point
But you know that isn't true

Fake emotions all the time
That's why you never really cry

Pretend that you can assoicate
Last time you could was when you were eight

Now you are an outsider
And you're better off because you are

Fear is a Gift
It taught me to run
It taught me there are things worse than stress

Fear is a gift
Because when I'm running away from my worries
Because when I'm afraid of what might come

Fear reminds me
I'm still alive
I'm still breathing

Fear is a gift
Because somewhere deep down
Fear reminds me
I'm still human

Dear Tristan,

          You don't use your strengths,
          But instead you use what you want to be strong

This Stress is killing me
No time to think
No time to breathe

This Stress is stronger than me
Holds me down with chains
Why can't I break free

This Stress

This Stress
It has killed me
No human left
All that remains is machine

Dear Tristan,

          How can you care for others,
          But not care for yourself?

Seclusion
Isolation
Alone

My path was only meant for me
I just used to think My path
Would one day be Our path
Whoever that might have been

Now I see that I was wrong
And now I can move on
To wherever my path may lead

Breathing reminds us
That we're Alive
But being Alive
Doesn't mean we're Living

Forgive me Father
For I have sinned
I have disobeyed your commandments
The laws of your land

Forgive me Father
Because I'm not perfect
Like you are
Because I’m not the man you told me to be

Forgive me dear Father
Because I try my best
But trying isn’t good enough for you

Forgive me Father
because I’m just man

Father
Forgive me
Because I’m not you

But Father
Forgive me most
Because I’m glad I’m not you