Someday's I’m tired of smiling
Someday's I’m angry at the world and everyone
Someday’s I hate myself
Someday’s I want to die
Someday’s I’m scared of death
Someday's I think about the past
Someday’s I think about the future
Someday’s I’m thinking about to much
Someday’s I’m sad
Someday’s I want to be crying
Someday’s I want to be yelling
Someday’s I’m happy
Someday’s I question myself
Someday’s I’m my own worst nightmare
Someday’s I judge others
Someday’s I get angry with myself for saying mean things to others or judging them
Someday’s I’m broken
Someday’s My heart stops for a second
Someday’s I’m day dreaming, to get away from everything
Someday’s I want to be dancing around like a crazy person
Someday’s I think about what other think about me
Someday’s I’m sick and tired
Someday’s I want to join in the group
Someday’s I don’t think I’m wanted
Someday’s I think everyone hates me
Someday’s I don’t think my opinion doesn’t matter
Someday’s I realize my hands shake a lot
Someday’s I worry about almost everything
Someday’s I’m scared of everything and everyone
Someday's I write poems and quotes to help me out, with all the things I think about, telling myself “This is how I’m going to tell everyone my feelings” because I have a hard time telling them face to face without crying, and running away from them, and the next day saying it was nothing

Counting off regret’s,
And crossing off dreams,
As I sit and rot away in this prison of the past.

Just a spec of light shines in through the bars,
As I keep myself hidden in the darkest corner of my cage.

A smile appears once and a while,
On my dull express less face,
And some day’s I’m too tired to try.

As I have isolated myself once again,
I feel incomplete but I will always feel this way,
Because even when I surround myself with good and bad people, I always still feel incomplete.

So I sit in my empty, hollow cell,
And wait for the day when I feel somewhat complete.

The sun has gone away now,
It’s gone and hidden itself behind the clouds.

The clouds have turned to a dark grey,
And rain starts to build inside of it.

The once little white clouds,
They are feeling a little blue,
And need to shed some tears to lighten their mood.

So there tears start to fall down on the world,
No light can be found because the little clouds are to blue.

Sometimes there tears come pounding down on the world,
And sometimes there tears gently hit the world.

The clouds are weeping because there filled with sorrow,
And the blue’s, so don’t get frustrated when rain comes;
Because that is when the clouds are having a bad day,
So tell those little gray clouds “It’s going to be okay”.

Another year has left and gone,
Fear has now consumed my soul,
Unable to take back all the foregone.

They promised me my life wasn't a pawn,
But I don't think I can keep leading myself on.

I try not to worrying over all the issues and unknowns.

As the clock turns twelve, my heart skips a beat,
Fear is clenching it; trying to bring it into a waltz.
My thoughts screaming out to me,
'Don't allow it to sweep you away!'

As everyone is consumed with joy, making new years resolutions;
I am consumed by anxiety, paranoia sweeping me off my feet,
Singing to me all the things to panic about.

As everyone shall party, and stay awake,
I shall go to bed, trying to sleep and keep all the thoughts at bay.

Every time a sentence is spoke,
It can never be taken back,
Its out now for the whole world to hear.

Once someone opens their mouth and lets words drip out,
Those words are imprinted onto the world,
And time cannot be re-winded.

"So speak wisely," Everyone says,
But no one can seem to follow this small simple rule.
Why is it so difficult to think before speak?

Arguments can leave scars,
Lies and rumors can hold such damage.

Words have an impact, but many seem to forget,
As the letters dance out of their mouths and into thin air,
Already turning into a wild tornado storm and destroying who every is in its way.

Words seep deep within ones skin, burring in deep,
And burning that victim, as tears soon slip out and begin to fall.

"Words hurt," They told me,
But I never knew that they would make a tare in one's heart,
Damaging for a long time, and placing it in deep into one's memory.

Words have affect, words do hurt,
And words have a lasting effect,
So choose carefully before you let out a sentence that is filled with hurt.

Slowly losing control,
Strings tugging away at my soul,
My mind is hazy.

These masks are my sanctuary,
Even though they make me feel like a liar.

I am no good at anything; useless.
So I put on a new mask everyday,
To cover up my mistakes from yesterday.  

Hold your breath,
Let your heart grow hazy and hollow,
Forget what your purpose is.

You are just another masked being,
Ready to dive in deep of your own mortality.
Losing your true identity to all of those masks.

Slowly losing control,
Letting everything go.
As you let yourself go, and the masks take control.

Let me hold my breath,
Before you throw me away and let go of my hand,
Let me have a chance to prepare myself for your upcoming plan.

I should of known, but how was I supposed to know,
That our hearts were worn out and the red string was fading away?

Your plan was your own,
It was no longer made for two.
But it's still hurt dear as the stone was thrown,
Flying into my window and shattering all my innocents.

I try so hard to hold onto the edge,
But the shards did their job and dug way to deep.

Maybe if this plan had a fairness apart of it for both parties,
Than perhaps I could be able to pull things together;
Stitch up my flesh wounds, that now have become something far worse.

My dear loved one, I know your no longer mine.
But that is not the thing that stings so much; its not the problem.
Its no longer the cause of my numbness.

I just wish you had given me some kind of warning,
Or at least told me about your plan, because I'll still mourning.

Your plan was not meant for two though,
So now I am left with nothing,
But all these shatter pieces of who we used to be,
Or rather who I used to be.

I hate mirrors
I dislike them so much

I can’t look at a mirror
Without feeling
Ugly,
Fat,
Useless,
Unneeded,
Confused,
Angry,
Sad,
Upset­,
Unhappy,
Hatred,

I can’t look at the mirror for too long
Or I’ll start to cry

I wish I didn’t have to look at a mirror
To see the one…
Me
I have never hated myself
Till I looked at myself in a mirror

When I was 7
The mirror
Was my nightmare
My bully
Pointed out
Everything that was wrong with me

I wish I could smash and break
The mirrors I have to look at
But I won’t because
I don’t want to get in trouble and hurt myself from the broken glass

So I guess
I’ll have to deal with them
I’ll just have to try and stay away from them

I really hate mirrors
I dislike them very much.

I feel secure in this little cocoon,
Never do I wish to metamorphosis;
I do not wish to take flight.

When I feel confident enough to take a peak,
I wish to sink back into my undamaging, innocent cocoon.
I do not like the idea of a ‘big world’.

Everything is not beautiful enough;
Its not as magnificent and imaginative like I want it to be,
Unlike this innocent and carefree cocoon I have molded my mental image into.

I am longing for some kind of change, but to afraid of the unknown to take it.

I am mentally unstable; I cannot handle the dangerous world,
I am much more safe and stable in this cocoon.
So leave me be in my little shelter,
I know it’s unhealthy you don’t need to remind me.

I’m I truly secure in this cocoon or is it all a fable?

I wish to be pure not mature,
Though sometimes I daydream of being both,
As I sleep away in the sheltered cocoon.

Everything is so frightening.
The outdoors that surround my cocoon are calling me,
But I can’t seem to shake away the worries.

“You’re so unsure of your own path, you never even take a step back,”
My thoughts sing song to me as I lull back to sleep.

I am to petrified of the outdoors of my own cocoon,
I can’t seem to win the battles of thoughts, even if it could save me,
So I stay silent and let it eat away at me never taking the chance.

I would rather be somewhere else,
Rather not feel so 'alive,'
I would rather curl up and die.

Sometimes I am afraid,
But most times I am just tired.

The world doesn't seem like my place,
I quite tired of this chase,
I no longer wish to find myself.

The body that I was placed in is now hollow.

I am shallow, after all I am a human being,
Not able to sympathies anymore can only play the role of 'me,'
No longer sweet, or the gently soul that everyone knows.

I wouldn't rather be a other,
I can never fix myself into this world,
So its best if I slowly lose myself and leave.

I'd rather fall into a deep sleep and continue dreaming.

I am silent, no words come out,
I am silent, no thoughts come in,
I am silent, no way of stability.

I am so silent in my mind,
I simply forget to speak.

They say because I am so silent outside,
That the inside of my mind must be loud,
But the real issue is I'm far to quiet either way.

Far to quiet to be alive,
Its like my depression finally won out,
Because not only did I get myself to shut up,
But my brain has finally shut down.

I am not fully here or there anymore,
I am lost away amongst the fog,
Someone come get me, I am sick of the silences.

On this day I shall be vibrate.
Shining bright and uncaring;
Not minding ones hateful words.

I shall be strong and independent.

I'll talk a little too loud,
And act slightly more proud.

I will be happy and pleased today.

Then tomorrow will come,
And that day will become today;
But on that day I shall be grime.

Unable to stand the slightest of sound,
Startled and afraid, sick of being drained.

I will not be able to handle the day,
And all the things that await,
So I shall stay in bed and cry my life away.

To concerned now of the hateful talk,
Unable but wishing to change everything;
Every single little detail of me.

This today, is to loud,
But now its all in my head;
Where the monsters await for my dread.

Today, will always change,
But I will still be here for the next.

Pounding onto the drums,
Acting dumb for the crowd,
Asking to be a little less proud,
And understand that we're all ****.

Hatred consumes us all, it comes so easily; its almost a gene of its own.

Painful truths and lies shoot us all down,
Everyone is bleeding out and trying to breath,
Everyone is falling from highs and trying to catch the prize.

The skies are covered in dim lights,
Telling the stories of those who lost hope in their dreams.

Everyone is being run down,
The guns are useful tools to pierce a person,
Words impeded in them, and once it hits you there is no turning back;
Your permanently damaged mentally and physically.

The painful truth about us; the 'Human race',
Is that we are all are the monster under neath the bed,
The skeletons inside our closets,
Ready to hunt us down and consume everyone is sight.

We are own parasites,
Every judging thought that turns into a spoke word,
Has already infected someone, and grown,
The rippling effect already taken place.

We are the demons that steal away another's child,
Damaging beyond repair,
Polluting their minds with pure hatred.

We destroy own another, our own loved ones, and random strangers,
That is the little bit of painful truth.

I am earning for this addiction,
Craving for another touch and look see.
Holding my breath as I take another sip,
I am hoping I won’t get tipsy tonight on this addiction.

At this angel it looks quite painful,
Though my mind is so high on enchanting earning;
I can’t look away I am bewitched.

I am quite disgraceful, aren’t I?
Oh well, I am quite fine with being shameful,
As long as my addiction can be craved, no matter the cost.

Dipping down and going for the ****, making lust seep into another.

“You’re an ugly human being”, you scream,
I can only smile and continue being unfaithful.

Another kiss to cure my craving,
My addiction never can be fulfilled though,
So I soak in the bliss and then I am once again on the hunt.

Promise to kiss it all better,
Make all the boo-boo's stop aching,
Allowing me forget about the pain.

Kiss the pain that is caged in my heart,
Tell it to leave me alone,
And seal the spell with a kiss.

You promised me that it will be all better,
So allowed you to heal my wounds with a kiss.

A shame though that its not real magic;
It will never heal the broken pieces of my heart,
It simply makes my heart ache even more,
And I am left with craving for more.

Kiss it better dear, I trust you with my life.

My body is pale and chilled to the bone,
Everything I once was is long gone,
The light in my eyes have dulled slowly.

I no longer feel like the lively boy I once was,
Expressions of emotions seem so foreign.

Everything feels so hopeless,
I am unable to feel anything,
I am to far gone, to hollow inside to care.

I am a **** living inside the little boy they all once knew,
A criminal taking away all the things that allowed me to feel,
Now only the feeling of numb runs through my veins.

This is the outcome; all I have done to get better has just left me numb.

I can hear the drums still,
Understanding when to react and play the 'act',
Another day starting but I don't even notice.

I wonder sometimes if I'll every get better,
Maybe then everyone will return back to me?
But I silence those thoughts, and just through my sweater back on,
Its knitted with all the emotions I once was able to freely feel.

All there is left is this numb little boy,
In replace of the once brightest little star that was filled with such innocents.

I miss your kisses,
And the sweet bliss we shared.
I remember when we we're free,
I still cannot dismiss these feelings, or stop reminiscing on our past.

We loved a little to soon,
And said the word to loosely,
That was simply our mistake, hopefully we learned.

I still dream of caressing your skin,
And how you beamed when I did so.

Such simple little things, sometimes mean the world.

I cannot get rid of this love,
You were my sweet little dove,
And I will not willingly let you go.

My angel, I know I'll will not be your only one,
But let me be your last little love.