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tatianah Jul 19
Some people are used to feeling everything
Others feel nothing
I don't feel anything anymore
I feel like everyday I force myself just to smile
Sometime i find myself happy but it always fades
Everything fades
I wake up and find everything pointless
Music would be my escape
Now nothing works anymore
My life is pointless
Erica C May 29
three times
one: i sit here on my friend's kitchen floor with a bottle of pills and a throbbing headache 'just take a few they're 200mg each you'll be fine'
i smile and nod, she walks out
i begin counting '200, 400, 600, 800, 1000...' all the way up to 2600
"what will 2600mg of ibuprofen do to me" i wonder
and i down the pills
hours later im fine
im not hurting
just numb once again as always
and i eat
then like usual, go puke it

~the summer before 7th grade~
just a little more dead inside than before
Half of the world I’ve built is in ruins.
My sanctuary is damaged past repair.
How can such vibrant feelings,
Just disappear into thin air?
There is not a single light as I fall,
Spiraling into despair.
You said you're dead inside
but you make me feel alive.

You said you can no longer feel
but what if i feel for you?

You made me feel alive
in a time where i felt dead inside.
AD Snail Dec 2017
I am silent, no words come out,
I am silent, no thoughts come in,
I am silent, no way of stability.

I am so silent in my mind,
I simply forget to speak.

They say because I am so silent outside,
That the inside of my mind must be loud,
But the real issue is I'm far to quiet either way.

Far to quiet to be alive,
Its like my depression finally won out,
Because not only did I get myself to shut up,
But my brain has finally shut down.

I am not fully here or there anymore,
I am lost away amongst the fog,
Someone come get me, I am sick of the silences.
boringwonderland Dec 2017
the rain used to be my favorite
the sky was crying with us
until I got swallowed up by it
my bones crushing with each trick
no seatbelt
thought I wasn’t going to live
I was ready to say goodbye to this world
but when the car finally stopped I was still alive
I started screaming why
I could smell blood and soil
I thought it was finally by time to say goodbye
police, ambulance, and a helicopter arrive
“mam have you been drinking or are you on any drugs”
glass in my hair
I felt like there was no air
it was getting hard to breathe
my whole body was broken
mostly my heart
they should’ve left me to die
- sorry about the car
is there always a rainbow after the rain?
Trixia Oct 2017
I thought I found love,
I thought permanent happiness came,
it was all rainbows
and the bright sun,
not noticing the blue skies,
the gray clouds,
the madness of this world,
I saw beauty in darkness,
I saw wars on light,
firing guns and stabbing knives,
life is like airplanes with bad engines,
even with all your efforts to be a good pilot,
it will all come crashing down,
love was like falling into a never ending cliff,
always falling,
never landing into something too great
but our dreams.
Our "almost" will always haunt me,
our memories will always be my favorite moment,
the looks we share
and feelings will never be forgotten,
for it is a wound,
that healed but scarred,
and left a marking that in this moment,
I became yours,
and you became mine.
Today was good,
but tomorrow is unexpected,
you'll never know what will happen,
sometimes what you expected,
isn't really going to happen.
When you look at me,
I can’t breathe,
the world stops,
and everything becames slow motion,
but is it right to love someone,
who doesn’t even know you,
for years I’ve been waiting for you,
all I ask is for you to be a part of
my life,
because you my love is my light,
that burns the bridges of my all mighty trust,
and now our story ends,
I have lost you,
The worst the of loving someone is the day you lose them.
Ashtyn Lucas Oct 2017

I'm sorry I'm not the daughter you wanted
I'm sorry I'm a shitty sister
I'm sorry that I'm depressed
And cry a lot

I'm so sorry I don't do everything you ask
I'm so sorry I'm not perfect and pretty
I'm so sorry that I put such a damper on your lives
And that I'm tired

And antisocial

Please forgive me for being a human being

I'm really sorry I even exist

I wish I could just disappear
To make it easier for everyone
Seen as I'm such a horrible person
Seen as it's impossible to be nice to me

Impossible to deal with me
Impossible to love me

I'm so fucking sorry
I'm so fucking sorry
Carter Ginter Sep 2017
I'm sitting there reading your letter
And crying because
I didn't know I didn't know I didn't know
Take a hit.
I didn't know I was so bad
Take a hit.
I didn't know I hurt you so much before
Kiss her kiss her kiss her
The voices whisper
But I don't want to
And I feel like the voices are just my thoughts
That I transform into other sounds
To avoid my own responsibility
Take a hit.
I didn't know how heartless I was
I thought I did my best to make you happy
But you cried yourself to sleep
I didn't know I didn't know
You begged for my attention
I didn't know
Take a hit.
I want to blow my brains out
Because my chest is so empty
I feel my decaying heart turning to stone
Take a hit take a hit
I didn't know
I didn't..
Kiss her
I'm fine.
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