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CIN Apr 26
There was a certain comfort in the time I spent
Sitting against a wall outside in the cold
They don’t tell you what its like to freeze to death
But here’s what wishing you would is like

The trees sway with another chilling breeze
There’s a little stinging pain in my toes
Its been about 20 minutes out here
My feet are the only things cold
I'm thinking
Way too much about how the frost feels
My hands become red
a little icy itch not quite numbing my fingers

Another 20 minutes go by and I can feel the cold travel
I have no intention of leaving
I don’t want to
Maybe i’ll stay all night

An hour in my feet are cold on the outsides
My ankle is freezing
I adjust my earbud and look up to the sky
My breath can be seen in the air
I think about my mother finding my body
Bitten blue with winter

2 hours in and my feet are starting to ache
Its an interesting feeling
Almost like I’ve broken a bone but can’t quite feel it
I don’t want to be here anymore
Not outside, id love to stay in the icy air all night
But here, in front of my so called home
Filled with my so-called family
I’d like to be staying somewhere else
Somewhere where they aren’t
Somewhere where the people who care about me
Are all far far away
And if I die, they know in a few days
Not right away
If I’m sick they’ll send a gift card
And call so many times I’ll have to turn off the phone

So maybe I’ll just sit here
And let nature have its way with me
Because I'm not ready to go back in
And live in a “family”
More about the night i overdosed. I'm falling back into this mindset and its drowning me.
Dakota May 2021
The lakeside cabin was as old as history.
The lake itself was ancient.
The cabin was in our family for years.
None of us knows who built it,
all we know is we always have fun there.
Playing in the lake all day,
staying up late telling ghost stories around a campfire.
Many years ago I went back.
I couldn't find it.
Recently I went with my family and it was back.
Maybe it wasn't where I thought it was at first.
Maybe it was never there.
All I know is we had fun.
That's all that mattered,
We had fun.
Lee Aaun Mar 2021
looking up at the sky,
wishing to be a part of is
what we all dream of—
then come those
who stitch up their feathers to fly;
to prove that you can own that sky
with your efforts
rather than chillin'
if we really desired for the sky,
we had been one of those
but sadly, we can't make a difference
though it's not late
the difference you'll make, matters
Jamil Akram Oct 2020
The darkness awakens you,

Your thoughts fall apart like dry glue.

All you want is to be okay,

But you accept you may never see that day.

One foot in front of the other,

Open your eyes, it's no bother.

All you want is to be okay,

But you accept you may never see that day.

Draw back your curtain,

Life will be good, I'm certain.

All you want is to be okay,

But you accept you may never see that day

You drag yourself downstairs,

There have been no answer to your prayers.

All you want is to be okay,

But you may never see that day.
Nylee Oct 2020
in the winters,
the marble floors
they feel cold
my bare feet
they are frozen
i cannot move
they are stuck.

in these twenties,
the only warmth
fabric of cardigan
I pull these
sleeves till seems
cover my fingers
touch the knitted
threads to feel
beyond the numbness
of my palm.

the cool sensation
touching my face
the melancholic air
disturbing my stare
tree without leaves
the somber look
the bone chilling
stare back from
a girl sitting
on the marble
floor by the
mirror looking dead.
Daniserena Jul 2020
If only I wasn't such a freak then I could explore the world every day of the week.
being constantly stuck in this place I call home, I just sit and watch the other freaks roam.
all the normal people have someone to love, and I'm stuck here talking to the angels above.
maybe if I looked different I would get treated better, or pretty and famous then my fans would write me letters.
but normal is not absolutely in my inside, and I don't wanna act like something I don't define.
but it's okay to be different because different is better, whether it's pretty or not like an ugly sweater.
being a freak doesn't make you weak, being the same will always make you lame.
realize this cause this is who you are, and finding the truth isn't so far.
Colm Nov 2019
Sleep seeps from my finger tips
With chilling thoughts, my mind amiss
No matter how much heat I ingest
I digress, and fade into cold extremities
Only a few times, have I know
The name of tired as well as this
A Chilling Exhaustion
"i wanna be in the company of people i love
and just like chill
playing smash
or just sleeping and napping
laughing together
watching movies together
something that doesn't involve too much movement"
- a text from a friend
big mood
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