Pigs carry giant whips
and shoot bullets
and spray their spit
at bats.

Bats fly and bump into rats.
Rats claim they are cousins
yet eat some bats and
become poisonous in their speech.
Bats cry out that everyone can have
a slice of the freedom cake
take one piece each.

Rats are hungry
because there's a hole in their tummy
so they tell the pigs to steal the whole cake.
Bats bat their eyelids to the darkness
realizing their alliance
was fake.

Truth is still water,
a gentle whisper,
a soft touch.
Easy to ignore
yet
persistent
consistent.

I'm in love with a lover
Who is loved by another
and I'd die just to see you
smile at me.

He's the son of a daughter
Who is married to his father
And they're all the children
Of humanity.

I'm stronger in sorrow
I carry till tomorrow
And I'm productive
In insanity

As I chase the devil
The path becomes narrow
And I hate the incarnation
Of profanity.

Here I am.
Do you see me?

I am lost
I'm alone
Lead me to my
Destiny.

I am man.
All men are me.
And I live with this truth
Vicariously.

I'm indebted to your kindness
My lord, you are the finest
And there's no denying
Reality.

I have found my purpose
Help me to stay focused
And save me from your
Calamity.

There is no companion,
Only company.
There is no love but
They are lovely.
There is no curiosity to ask:
“What are your dreams?”
“Your secrets?”
“Your difficulties?”
There’s no desire to observe a legacy.

Maybe the protagonist is to blame.
Years were spent building
A foundation based on
Secrecy and mistrust
But I had no idea
People were happy and willing
To play along.

I feel such terrible distress
Like I lost something as precious
As my purpose.
All the screams and darkness
Swooping over me and drowning my senses
Fear is senseless
And reckless.
Fear is helpless
So painful it’s painless.
So dark
It blinds me with its brightness.

This world goes in circles
And repeats cycles
And I’m stuck in the middle
As I cry in my comfortable cradle
Because I am blessed to point out that
my only curse
Is having to feel
And live a life so real
It haunts me in my sleep
And seeps into my dreams.
And buries me in a grave.

Why do I cry for the future?
The present is a cloud
And fate is the wind
And I try to find my silhouette
Reflected within.

I revel in this collective fearful consciousness.
I revel in this confused toxicity and if this isn’t telling
Then I should be yelling.

Stuck a sticker on a
Block of cold ice.
The sticker is stuck
In a frozen smile.

Maybe that smile
The resolve
The will
Is warm enough to make
Cold hearts melt.

And I drip,
Drip,
Drip.

Mummified me tight in her web,
she finds it funny
that my eyes are left open.

I shake
but I cannot listen
and I cannot scream
and she stares until
my heart is broken.

she whispers and I read her lips:
"I am fate,
and you were held firm in my clutches
ever since man has fallen.

"Lay, watch, and twitch
and remember my dear,
every breath you take is testimony
that you were chosen."

Scratches on my neck
And blood in my mouth as I wake.
Faces
I see faces,
Voices,
I hear your footsteps behind me,
Is my life at stake?

Eyes open
Laid bare
But I cannot move!
Flesh out my mouth
Snake bites my neck,
What have you got got to prove?

My mind,
A haunting ghost
Stares at me wide eyed,
Open mouth,
It’s a black shadow
Full of sorrow
And it feeds me
Guilt and doubt
Until tomorrow
Until tomorrow

Sour scented citrus,
Sweet, slimy syrup.
That’s me!
Sour lemon,
Sweet honey.

My heart burns and
Emotions rise up
In acidic scent,
Sticky, icky, stingy
Sour lemon sweet honey.

The love stings and sits on cuts.
While honey glazes and gives warm hugs
As it finds a cure in the blood
Wherever it may be
With the right combination of:
Sour lemon and sweet honey.

I understand
Love to be the appreciation of
What you can give.

No, love is love for the sake of love.

But I see nothing innocent, just pure.
“I appreciate you for the way you make me feel”
A.k.A
“I appreciate you for what you give to me”
A.K.A
“I love you.”

Sure it’s a little sweet but
It’s the only time you don’t mind being
Positively manipulated,
Positively used.
And you balance the scales with:
“I love you too”.

I feed off of you,
As you feed off of me,
And we’ll call this relationship ‘healthy’
And here we are.
Bound by a verbal contract,
Constantly in contact.
And I am stuck in your orbit oblivious as
To where I am headed.
I don’t understand this.
I look for the exit,
Because you are hungry,
And I am poor.

Forgive me for when my eyes are shut and my hands roam,
Or when my hands are tied yet my eyes stab.
Forgive me when I am ignorant and stomp my feet,
Or when I softly step into a territory that I know is made for my demise.
Forgive me when I am a coward who thinks she is wise.

In my mind I say what I mean
And mean what I say.
But my actions could speak otherwise.
Am I a hypocrite if my mind is far greater than my own two hands?

Am I helpless if I know what to do,
But my body won’t move according to plan?

Am I deluded if I think I can
When I can’t,
Or if I think I can’t,
When I can?

Am I who I am
Or am I what I am?

I want to stab a knife to your canvas
And maybe as expected,
Instead of flesh and bones
I find snakes
Slithering, swirling frantically,
Kissed by fear in their evil eyes,
In their terrible surprise
Fire has exposed them!

I want to dash red paint on that fake smile
And watch you gurgle on your own blood
As it pours
Thick, black
From between your teeth.

I want to rip out your lying, beating heart,
Blackened by your sins and selfish intentions,
And watch your hollow eyes finally
Show true emotions.

And I will not stop picking
You apart until you cry
“I give up!”
But how can I trust a
Black
Lying
Beating
Heart?

Still in time.
Or so I thought.
          
           Fooled.
Overwhelmed by an emotion of unwanted desire,
Knowing there’s an island on the other side.

But

Fooled by fear
I drown slowly
In a calm despair.

It hits like a bullet.
Caught off guard,
Triggered by the circumstance,
Fuelled with the negative thought,
Your mind starts to race and all sense is blur.

It hits like a tsunami.
One second you could breathe,
The next your nostrils and mouth is forced shut,
Your insides are burning,
You’re crashing against sorrows
And there’s oh so much desperation
For the need to simply
Breathe.

When the feeling is this intense
You won’t know what hit you.

Tell me my purpose
If I was dead before I was born,
And will die when I am dead.

If death is immortal,
Eternal,
Necessary;
Yet life is frail,
Conditional,
Temporary.

Tell me why I am here
In my joy,
My fury,
My agony.

I suffer,
I change.
I am pushed to my limits and beyond
Burdened with freedom and empathy.

Tell me why I feel such emotions
That last
And alas
Here I am
Triumphant.

So
“Give me hell,
Give me heaven,
All your visions of life.”

This is no classic scene on a movie screen.
This is real life.
And it’s scenes are the most obscene.

This pain is felt first hand,
And your confusion is severe.
We look to the asphalt and to these mechanic machines and
Believe we live in our ancestors virtual dreams.
You scream:
“It’s 2019!”
And take that as evidence of progress;
Like we are closer to ‘the truth‘ now
Than when even our foods weren’t processed?

Progress?
Yes,
We emphasise physicality
And make clowns of our spirituality
So we can parade falsity.

You see,

We latch to this planet like a leach.
Manipulating your free speech
As you learn only what is deemed worthy to teach.
And that’s it!
That’s all you need to know!
Go on, throw a fit
And call it “history in the making”
While you transfer all knowledge in
A glowing rectangle,
And still mistake emotions with rationality
Yes we’ve reached this calamity!

Don’t make me laugh!
You hate war?
But you get bored of peace
And you fetishise your guns.
And this is no longer a secret,
Now you post red and caption it “aesthetic”
And laugh-cry at those who are unfortunate.

Glory is in the body count,
And ****** is just a sport.
Honour is in the gold,
And there’s no longer any justice
In courts.

Truth is
You’re building a fort
Where ignorance is at its foundation.
And while you do not know yourself
You cry “you ought!” To a nation?

BEHOLD!
You are in the presence of power.
Shaken from the core,
A young seed observes
Grown aged trees
And marvels at their branches
Spread all over wide
Like wings!
Casting their shadows over her bud
As their fruits grow and ripen
And drop like bombs
Thud!
Thud!
THUD!

The soil whispers:
“You have two choices;
Aspire to inspire!
Go and grow!
Or sink deep
Into the void
And cry
From down below.”

A root bursts out
And the seed clings to the soil.
“Uplift me!” She begs,
“Don’t leave me here to spoil!”

I’m beginning to think my cries do not have a sound.
When I raise my head above the ground
I see weeds feasting on souls,
The red sky is filled with holes
And blood pours out of its pores
And the screams are like ongoing thunder
As my attention is split asunder-

Whom do I help?
I
Alone
As I am?
Should I reach the starving infant
Or cradle the abandoned child?
Should I attack the invading enemy
Or love those whose thoughts have gone wild?

Even if I had an army,
I am alone as I am
And my people follow the chains
Of one command.

I am alone
As I am,
And my limbs only reach so far.
Every wrong step
Inflicts a scar
And while you’re kind enough to
Lend me your shoulder
I am alone as I am
And I grow colder.

I am alone as I am
And when a link is cut I hang from my neck,
I hang from the hands of others
Who’ve chosen to save me!
Me from amongst the dead!
Why me?
I
Alone
As I am?

I wonder where your mind takes you
when you're silent.
I wonder what your voice says to you
when you're in bed
or what scenarios could be playing
in your head.

Do you think of something new and exciting?
Something logical or political?
Do you think about only yourself or others too?
Or do you think of something impossible to understand
but not for you.

I wonder how you approach your mind,
I wonder what secrets you hide:
I wonder about the thoughts that comfort you in sadness,
saves you from madness.
The thoughts that give you balance and guidance,
maintenance and sustenance.

I wonder what dreams you dream while you sleep,
What thoughts do you hear while you're unconscious and defenseless.
I wonder what really is in your heart,
because the answers to these questions
is what truly sets us apart.

You approach me with curiosity I don't want to touch,
with a readiness in your voice
like you're ready to hear too much and judge;
and I'm not used to this kind of care
and this type of love.
So I shut you off
and become short
and become tough,
for I've not learned how to respond to love.

I try to be tolerant,
but you repeat conversations from your head
assuming I'll play by your script
despite my lack of interest
in your need to repeat the past.

I try to be tolerant but
you won't give me a chance to breathe,
not with those dagger eyes that have been threatened,
not with that yapping mouth that has been triggered,
not with that closed mind that screams to be opened.

You view your world from your eyes and get caught
thinking your view is the best view when it's not.
You view your world from your eyes and get caught
thinking all your thoughts are true and valid when they are not.

I like you best when you remember on your own
that your limitations are limitless,
and together we live in this world of a mess
and call it our home.

Give me a backstory
and I'll show you a different character
each time.
Give me a time and place,
and I'll show you my morals were lies
and my standards are non-existent,
and that I've had you fooled
in every single appearance;
and I'll make you realize
that my lies
have been consistent.

Foul,
rotten,
something about you gives the stench of burned flesh,
the stain of corroding steel,
the buzzing sound of a thousand insects.
When you talk I feel like centipedes crawl up my spine,
roaches swirl between my toes,
and worms pour out of ears.
My eyes itch, and I twitch
underneath my skin
for your soul
is the foulest din.

Alone again,
Like how it was before I was found,
Before I could hear a sound.

My head has turned bleak.
Slowly approaching my peak,
I find it hard to find the words to speak.

And the shadows seep into my cracks
by your command
doubt and drought invade this fertile land
as my world regresses in a state of chaos
and loss
and confusion
with the fusion of hope and contempt
to my ignorance and to your method.

You held me in your palm
and hear my imperfect soul cry from across realms
that shield me from the truth.
I become sad...
Am I mad for wanting better for myself,
better than myself?
Make me better for you.

Does the truth have any regard for my desire?
Does the truth change when a moment turns dire?
Is the truth ever outshined by ignorance's fire?
If the truth is too complex to be articulated,
then is everyone a liar?

Does the truth depend on my emotion?
Is it revealed through commotion?
Does it give a resolution?
Does it require devotion?
If the truth is too complex to be articulated,
then how can it be a conclusion?
If the truth is too vast to be situated,
then is the world not an abomination?

If only I was shown the truth, how would I know?
Would it possess a certain glow?
Would it put on a show?
If the truth is too complex to be articulated,
how would I know for sure that this is the right way to go?

I'm in a position
where I doubt the truth,
living in juxtaposition.