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Ackerrman Sep 5
I tried not to cry
When you cut your wrist.

I recognised well,
What had happened,
When I walked through your door.

Your eyes,

You ******:

The bandage-
Medic alert!

White on red
Solemn colours,
All a child’s eyes can see.

How I tremble
As that child’s mind-

All my strength,
My smarts
And I can’t move you

Out of that state,
Out of this place,
This Hell.

Please don’t die,
I can’t live
Without you.
Yesterday was a bad day- still made it into work today though! Not about me, about him. hope he made it into work- i leave before he does.
Emmky Aug 19
I had a dream
         I was surrounded by
And I was heavy
         Could not reach out
While my mother was
          screaming for any help
That dream woke me up. It was the moment I realized, how scary it is to drown - I saw the light on the surface, I thought I could swim but nothing just bubbles came up. I was all alone, left to die, without anyone to help or acompany me. Where are all the marmaids and water nymphs and fairies when you want to die with your friends around you?
My Insomnia is a ****.
He keeps me up at night and keeps the end of my bed warm.
When the sun sets and the moon comes up, I should be dreaming of soft things or wacky situations that could never happen.
But instead, I'm trapped here, with my Insomnia at the foot of my bed, keeping me on my phone.

My Insomnia is a patient man.
I've tried, believe me, to ignore him. I've laid for hours in my bed, wrapped up in blankets.
I've counted thousands of sheep, let them hop to and fro from my bed to the door.
But he shoos them away when they get to close.

My Insomnia is a jealous man.
He doesn't like Sleep and her warm and gentle touches. He favors his cold and sharp hands.
He doesn't let her take me until he's had me to the sunrise, where I should be waking now instead of sleeping.
He keeps me until my eyes are stinging and I'm all but begging to be released. He let's go only because he'll return at the end of the day when the sun sets and the moon rises.

My Insomnia keeps me in a prison.
I can't see the night progress through the blanket I've hung up on my window, as a makeshift curtain to keep the sun out of my eyes as I sleep the day away.
The night pities me and the day yearns for me. My friends wait for me and my sisters lose patience as I miss out on plans. My grandma worries for me, and pulls me from the gentle embrace of sleep.

My Insomnia is a cruel man.
He keeps me chained to my phone and my computer, to the horrors of my mind as I only seek relief through sleep.
The chains used to cut when I was eleven and so exhausted and so confused when he had first graced the end of my bed.
But now, when I'm edging into eighteen, I'm only tired and defeated. I can only let him run his course, and wait for school to arrive so I can imprison him with sugar-coated pills bought over the counter.

My Insomnia is an *******.
For even as I drift off in the warm arms of Sleep, I can see him drifting above my bed.
He whispers promises to return at the end of the day, to which he always does, to torment and keeps me awake until my eyes burn.
To keep me awake until I regret everything and burn in memories that resurface when the sun has gone away, and Sleep can't protect me.
My Insomnia has an iron grip on me, that not even Sleep can break as I rest in her golden arms and breathe in her strawberry hair.

My Insomnia is a spoiled man.
And he always gets what he wants.
Lara Mari Jun 23
I’m numb. It’s probably the anaesthesia
The doctor gave me.
All it did was make me feel more numb.
Morphine, aspirin, Novocain.
No medication makes me feel once again.

It’s an empty void of nothingness
******* in any chance of retaliation.
I’m not cold, nor hot, but lukewarm;
A middle ground for breeding apathy
And so begins my heart’s atrophy.

I think of you, iridescent in your own light,
And I’m halfway ready to annihilate
The destructive force dwelling in me.
I’d asked myself this once before
But I can’t remember the answer anymore:

Can you make me feel again?
Marina James May 29
the colour red,
the rage in your head,

the clench of your fists,
the helplessness

all you can do is watch
as everything around you gets crushed

all you feel is numb
after anger had its fun
Marla Feb 23
Life is as inviting
As she is intense,
But don't be put off
By her indifference.

She will make us all martyrs
Before we're left diminished;
Leading us to slaughter
As we bask in our innocence.

So fear not her wrath,
For she is not shrill.
Their only directive is to ****;
Live before you've had your fill.
Marla Dec 2018
Crying alone
On the bathroom floor,
A barrel to my head
And a stock to my thigh.
Maybe I'm drunk,
I don't feel very high.
The extractor rains steel
As I prepare to stop the feels.
My life is a bitter lie
One I can no longer conceal.
Baby hold me tight,
My heart has no seal.
The blood is spilling out
While my veins grow cold.
Two lovers we once were,
Now it's just you and my bones.
There you are,
You pile of steaming hot crap,
I knew you were watching me,
And so I was on the lookout,

Why do you always turn up,
At the most inopportune time?,
Can't you see I'm busy?,
Can't you see I'm content?,

you sneak around leaving black sludge,
Shovelling despair and anguish into my bag,
Making it heavier as the minutes drift,
So heavy, I can't carry it much further,

I see you,I saw you and yet,
There's sweet FA I can do about it,
Other than crouch down and endure the deluge,
So bring it, let's have it,

Because, when you're done,
I may be broken, but alive,
I will be on my knees to be sure but,
I will always get up.. Always......

(C) [email protected] 06/05/2019
Depression.. That **** life sucker, is always lurking, sometimes it fools us into thinking we have a few days yet before the onset, then it pounce, like a lion on a gazelle.. We're helpless, we see it coming and we're helpless..

Like a button
Like string
As my happiness
Leaves a trail
That I can't
Get ahold of
For, all the string
Is picked up
By the wind
And all the buttons
Bounce down the road
I want to chase them back
But I'd rather
Lead myself home.

Michael Apr 16
Once was a pussycat and an owl
Who went to sea in a boat.
But wind and wave and weather so foul,
And a boat without oars that left cat and owl
Without fur or feather, flannel or towel,
And then Nighttime swooped with an awful howl
And the boat refused to float.
I mean what does one do?
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