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Take it all out onto the world
And punish the innocent bystander.
Hold the gun up to yourself,
And catch them in the crossfire.

Must I remind you
That there is mystery in the love that you seek?
There are delusions in the secrets that you keep.

Take your philosophy as scripture
And crucify the heretic.
Indeed, you've become somewhat of a prophet but
You get revelations from ego,
And I am wondering,
How far are you willing to go?

How amusing for a clump of clay to make so much waste,
For a cluster of atoms to take up so much space,
For a speck of dust to be so loud!

Misery loves company,
And you've got yourself a whole crowd!

Misery loves company,
And you have made it your life's mission
To make the miserable proud.
Jun 16 · 149
You
Sabika H Jun 16
You
In my chest
I carry your pain.
In my eyes
I see your light.
A newborn star,
Your youth is treasure,
A nebulae,
Your wisdom is dynamite.

My love for you is innate, instinctual.
I have hope your future will be bright.
Your beauty surpasses the physical,
You are unlike any creature in sight.

In my head I hear your thoughts,
And with my arms
I will hold you tight.
A baby bud,
Your cry is powerful.
A willow tree,
you stand firm with might!
Sabika H May 10
It has finally become clear,
And you have released all doubts from my mind.
Even though I still love you,
We are incompatible once
We compare our skeletons.
You do not understand me,
But I understand you fully,
And I understand that you don’t
Understand yourself entirely.
Thus you do not know me and
I doubt you would be so kind once you do.
I do not wish to say goodbye,
But my soul has already left and
Our umbilical cord was cut
Once you trivialised that which is
Central to me
And I do not blame you,
Nor do I hold a grudge,
Because I understand you fully:
You preach love and compassion and
Yet you lack comfort and wisdom,
It is because you see through other eyes and not with them.
I still love you,
But it’s time I moved on towards the
Things which reflect my being
And are compatible once
We compare our skeletons.
There are friends who you know that if you told them your true thoughts they would think differently of you and perhaps distance themselves from you because of that, despite the fact that you two may both have pure hearts. There are some friends whom if you had honest discussions with them they couldn’t handle it. And you know deep down inside, this relationship is meaningless and will soon die out and be rendered empty. We need to improve on our own communication, and be patient with one another. But another most important aspect of friendship, is being curious towards each other.
Sabika H May 10
Summer’s heat.
A blazing storm.
A soft breeze.
Thunder and lightning.
Birds chirping.
Loud crying.

I can’t tell you what life is...
It could be a feeling,
Distinct and distant,
Present and close.
If I could blend all its colours
It would be the brightest of lights,
The most brilliant of whites,
Shivering in fright,
Shining with might,
Flickering in and out of sight.

How can I be here,
And you can see me?
Both of us
Pulsing like waves
Upon waves
As the perfect harmony plays.

Each pulse, a chord.
Each move, a dance;
Every emotion is a trance.
And if I bring all these sounds together,
I couldn’t bear it.
My heart may burst out of my chest,
Because I cannot possibly experience
These many faces
Overwhelming my senses
Rendered senseless.

So it is with a heavy heart that I admit,
I can’t tell you what life is.
May 10 · 244
Old Skin
Sabika H May 10
You have overstayed your welcome,
Oh entity of past lives not lived.
Your stench of decay still lingers
And seeps from my fingers.

Abandon me old skin,
You have become nothing but the skeleton of past sins
Haunting me when I am most vulnerable.
I’ve befriended an enemy and
In turn, I have become intolerable.

Yes, I have been the oppressor.
I’ve whispered, I’ve swayed, I’ve lusted, I’ve preyed,
And although I have one foot out of the door,
Old friends whisper to me,
“Come on, how much can it really hurt
If you did it once more?”
Sabika H Apr 12
Is there a feeling worse than regret?
Knowing you’ve done something against yourself and only you are to blame?
What’s more poisonous than being able to live and relive the events of the past?
Than being able to see the rippling effects your actions have?
I cannot imagine anything worse
Than to be stuck in my own body
Than to experience myself so intensely
Knowing what I did
Knowing who I hurt.
I cannot imagine anything more frustrating
Than making mistakes and then knowing
How I could have done better and
Realising the limits of my own cognition
And the stupidity of my own ego.

I ask myself why
But the question only drives me mad.
I spit at my own reflection and
Cower into a corner and long for
A few seconds of non-existence.
I am ugly,
Ugly in the soul,
Ugly in the bone,
And no
These mistakes are not normal.
How can I be my own victim and perpetrator so easily?
And then wake up with dread that I’m not necessarily safe for myself?
I am stuck.
I did know better
But I didn’t do any better,
So what the actual f*ck?!
Apr 5 · 42
درون دلم
Sabika H Apr 5
کدام کس را
کدام شخص را
در دل خود جای دهم؟

همان کس که آن همه روز ها
مراقب من بودند
چه در آسمان
چه در زمین
مرا نگاه می کردند
مانند سربازی شجاع
مرا حفاظت می کردند

آری آن کس
آری آن شخص
که به من کمک می کردند
می تواند در دل من
خود را جای دهند

کدام کس را
کدام شخص را
در دل خود جای دهم؟

آری خدا
آری خدا
بهتر از او پیدا نکردم
من قبل از سن ۱۱ سالگی این شعر در ایران نوشتم
Apr 1 · 125
Upon Reflection
Sabika H Apr 1
I will not run just overwhelm me
With the thoughts the thoughts the thoughts.
There’s a dark shadow underneath every bright surface.
Check and chase
Every nook and cranny
Track and trace
Every mistake and
Shove into my face the uncanny.

What’s this giddy feeling?
I hop, skip and prance because
Neurons are firing and I’m talking
To myself and reviewing what has just passed in such a quick speed that I cannot catch up.
Oh I know you’re not all so bad
And sometimes I need to learn so
I constantly look back to learn but
Don’t let the shadows make everything seem dark
And don’t let the light turn into an insignificant spark.
Give me the balance and the hope,
The humility that helps me to cope with the insecure anxieties and the ignorance of arrogance.

Yes but no
No but yes
What ifs and
Did you see the look in his eyes?
They said something to me
And they were quickly covered by a disguise.
Maybe, who knows?
Just do better
Next time.
Mar 22 · 363
Comforted
Sabika H Mar 22
I am not my own.
I should remember this
Every time I cry alone.

I was surprised to know
That I can feel comforted in your arms.
I can feel soothed by your words,
You can keep me warm.

I’m not enough for myself
If it’s not safe to be inside.
I realised that when there’s a storm
There’s no place to hide
Yet you become the shelter
I use to confide.

It’s spectacular!
All this time
I missed out on something so simple.
You’ve only ever been an arm’s length away,
And all this time
I thought there was no point in opening up
If there was no place for me to stay.

I am not my own.
I should remember this
Every time I cry alone.
Feb 25 · 177
Hell
Sabika H Feb 25
I’ve felt hell
In the centre of my chest,
Scorching heat raised
In the tunnel to my mouth.

I’ve seen hell
In the loneliness of my existence,
In the ambivalent ambiguity
Of evil persistence.
I’ve seen its fire
In the confused laughter,
Its sparks sparkling
In a ruptured rapture.

Its smoke fogs the mind,
And leaves all traces of heaven behind.
And I was left perusing it’s mirage,
Mapping arbitrary patterns on a whim,
Subjectively assuming objective meaning
Perverting the ideals of heaven,
Tearing and rearranging the truth
Limb from limb.

Have you heard of hell?
The scent of burned flesh masked
In floral perfumes,
It’s brightness casts shadows
On those who are doomed?
Hell you know,
The one you revel in,
The one you prefer
The one you preach,
The one you measure,
The one you’ll reach?

I’ve been in hell
And yet I still doubt its existence.
Its hot breath brushes on my ear
And I have dropped all resistance.

What is wrong with me?

How can I see what I have seen
And still welcome the possibility of demise?
How can I afford to compromise my fate for the pleasures gained from a state of denial?
How can I put myself on trial?
How can I withhold the urge to gain heaven’s wisdom?
How can I be satisfied in man’s kingdom?
How can I deny myself true freedom?
How can I see who the devils are
And still want to be them?

Life
In itself is not a means to an end,
But a means to the end,
And in the end
All is left are my efforts
And its fruits.
And I cannot afford to be my own
Bearer of bad news.
Feb 15 · 622
Surrender
Sabika H Feb 15
A pink sunset
Shines it’s rays over a purple, calm ocean.
The gold of the sun
Shimmers like sparkling fairy dust
Over its tiny ripples.
Cumulous clouds
Express themselves as they sing
Stories of the past in all different colours.
And I stand in joyous sadness,
With a sense of helplessness,
As I surrender to the sheer beauty,
Surrender to the Almighty.
Feb 11 · 376
Seized
Sabika H Feb 11
A lake
Running deep
A line stretched
To its core.
What is it that makes me so
Unsure?

A hand
In a trembling fit
Reaches towards a heaven,
May I be free forevermore.

A threatening warmth in my centre
Drowns my soul,
Permanently stuck in a winter
It’s futile to wait
For the passing of the cold
So I am stuck
In my own
Quicksand.
Stuck
Not being able to understand
The magnitude of it all
And so I fall
And a certain numbness takes over me
A certain bewilderment
Because I have been seized and
I do not see.
Jan 25 · 56
Freedom
Sabika H Jan 25
Nobody told me
Freedom is lonely.
Tears glide but
I’m not sad.
I think about the things I’ve sacrificed to be here,
I think about the dead versions of myself
And how I grew without the guidance of my guides.
I’ve grown into myself despite you
To spite you
Yet you take all the credit anyway.
Dec 2020 · 119
Who Knew
Sabika H Dec 2020
Who knew that this scarf on my head
Could make the rope that will tie my noose?
Who knew that this stone that
Kisses my forehead could turn into
The ammunition to crack my skull?
Who knew that my loose clothes could
Let in enough air to tear it from my body?
Who knew that my enemies would have the power to define me, judge me and sentence me?
Who knew that love would label me guilty?
This poem is about the oppression that Shia Muslims face not only by non-Muslims but also by other Muslim sects. It’s hard enough to be a Muslim, let alone a Shia.
Dec 2020 · 195
The Curse
Sabika H Dec 2020
Half divine, half monster,
As slow as the seasons but
As fast as raging thunder.
We swim in the air and
Look suspiciously at the world
Knowing for a fact that
There is something hidden from our eyes.
Like babies we cry and
Like gods we are worshipped by ourselves.
Like beasts we eat and we hunt
And like angels we dance and we sing.
We play with breath
And we play with fire
Yet there is this burning desire
To breathe air that is truly meant for us,
Because we live in a suffocating ballon
That floats in time and will soon pop!

Have we made a mistake in being here?

All of our devices warp reality
Yet my imagination is the only thing that is free.
We try fighting our chains
Force change
And build a heaven on Earth once again
But the beast cris
And years for rain
And shelter
From the raging storm.
Dec 2020 · 177
Chains
Sabika H Dec 2020
No longer tracked in a dollhouse. A small spec from the view up above.
Heart erratic
Breath pumping
My confusions left unsolved.

No longer scavenging for booky ally ways for a quick huff and puff,
Fantasising about what I’m wearing as I **** myself,
Or when it would be most peaceful to inhale evil
Spirits.

No longer held on an invisible chain
Chained to my ‘friends’
That have accepted this mutual need
To be comforted not by what is said
But by what is given and pierced through the head,
Over and over
Again and
Again
For years
Four years
I knew not one of them,
But their smiles were kept green
And their eyes soaked in sad blood
Looking through narrow windows,
Thin lines of dim lights,
Pouring on lonely nights.
And that’s when I realised
Freedom is a slave sacrificed.

So if I must be chained
Let it be a chain
Hooked on loyalty
Truth
And love.
Let it be a chain
Flexible
And gentle
So I can find my way back
With ease.
Let it be a chain of strength
A chain that protects me.
Because I am no longer chained
To the idea
Of freedom in
Robbery.
You will not be able to fully overcome any bad habit unless you get away from the people in your life who encourage that bad habit.
Sabika H Dec 2020
I close my eyes because
I want to sleep through the darkest nights
Of December,
Sink into the depths of my consciousness
Who doesn’t remember
The events of earlier today.

They’re trying to **** me.

Polluted my mind,
Body
And soul.
Left me to rot, freezing
In the bitter cold.

Poisoned me with pure
Lies and deception.
Almost made me believe there is
No solution.
Almost made me believe I
Have no power in this situation.
So yes,
I should cancel my endeavours?
And wait until the damages are reversed?
So yes,
I should stay inside and
Keep my head down
Staring into the
Darkest glowing light
And get ****** into an abyss and miss
On what it truly means to be free?

You almost made me believe it.

I close my eyes in hope of a reset.
I worry if my future will be plagued
By regret.

The soul of my civilisation is infested
With worms and centipedes from the root.
My generation have been bent, burned
And broken into submission.
My elderly in ambivalence die neglected
In isolation,
My needy bite their lip in frustration
Because yet again they have to get
Used to a new brand of corruption.

And we stay silent and lower our heads
And keep our tails between our legs
And say “yes do whatever you please”
And hope that finally they have
Our best interest?

Is this madness?

This is a form of sick, twisted art,
But when did this level of manipulation
Even start?

And there comes a point where
I have to ask myself:
In all this mess,
What is my part?
Why is the government not asking the people, the citizens how they can protect us? And why are we okay with them making decisions without them consulting us? They are spreading lies about everything from the origin of the virus. You want normality so bad you are prepared to sell your soul and still in the back of your mind you know you will get nothing in return. This is actually a world war 3 and the funny thing is that we don’t even realise it.
Dec 2020 · 274
Immortal
Sabika H Dec 2020
I watch the sun rise
And the moon descend,
Over and over
Again and again.

What was once
Bright and vibrant
Has become dull and dim,
Even time ages,
Yet I remain still therein.

When the Earth burns
And the stars collapse,
I'll float alone in the dark,
My eyes roll back in my skull,
I am lifted up high,
But I'll never fall.

I watch the sun rise,
And the moon descend,
Death following death,
Over and over,
Again and once again
You are convinced
Your life has meaning
Because you still haven't witnessed,
Time
Die.
Imagine if you were immortal.
Sabika H Nov 2020
Ignoring the thoughts of warning,
I listen to praise and ridicule,
I listen to who I seem and
Not who I am or
Who I want to be.

Ignoring the thoughts of warning,
I listen to desire and shame,
I listen to the self-evident lies
That attempt to free me from blame.

Ignoring the thoughts of warning,
Ignoring the ticking of the clock.
I delude that I have time,
And that whenever I want it will stop.
And if I ask it will extend to me its hand,
And that if I only plead,
Time shall make sure that I succeed...
Somehow.

Ignoring the thoughts of warning,
I forget my inevitable destination:
A place and time where my actions can no longer be redeemed,
A place and time
Where everything is exactly how it seemed,
And my mistakes upon mistakes
Will look out to me in shame
Behind the shoulder of my thoughts of warning
Who emphasize
That I am only to blame.
Nov 2020 · 275
Dance of a Lifetime
Sabika H Nov 2020
One step - two stepping me,
Swirling around me in a spiral,
And I twirl,
And orbit in a cycle,
Gaining momentum,
I shine bright
As I try to catch up to your speed
And you run me down!
When did you become so sinister?

Never fixed in a fixture,
Never got the whole picture,
Because you're constantly on the move.
So move!
MOVE!
Are you getting into the groove?

Don't hold your breath
In fear that you'll never breathe again
When the difference between
Reality and a projection
Is the ink in the pen and
The lines in a book
And even then,
You cannot catch up to the speed of his
Handwriting.

Finished before you even started,
Cycle after cycle
I am reminded.
Nov 2020 · 226
Perfect Love
Sabika H Nov 2020
Oh Being of perfect form.
Your love is not that of humans but
Of Love itself.
Your passion is not that of humans but
Of Passion itself.

My lovers risk
Their lives for me,
My lovers swear
They are with me unconditionally,
But
Oh Being of perfect form,
Oh most perfect model of Love and Passion.
The things you would do for me
Are beyond
Worldly
Expression.
And although you made me
Partially blind,
You love me still,
Knowing very well
The shortcomings and tendencies of my kind.
Nov 2020 · 205
I Owe You
Sabika H Nov 2020
I owe you my life
My wisdom
My talents
My strengths
My beauty.
I thought I knew myself but
I’ll never know me like
How you knew me.
And somehow
You looked passed the ugly
And deemed me
Deserving.
Pulled me to safety
Away from the edge
Inspired within me an urge
To give you my pledge
To serve.

When I thought I reached a peak
I was proven to be short sighted.
When I was presented with the answers
My heart was delighted
And my soul lifted.
You are like the stick my stem is stuck to
As I grow tall, broad and straight.
You are the rope I hold on to
As I climbed and floated,
And you were not bothered by my weight.

You’re a friend to me
You’re the someone I always wanted.
Heard me cry scream and sob
And you were patient when insulted.
And so I live by your mercy
And you remain exalted
And I pledge to continue serving
So that I can prove to you
To myself
That I am deserving.
Nov 2020 · 145
Kind to be Cruel
Sabika H Nov 2020
Shining bright,
Leaving me
Fooled.
It's a vortex
And it feeds off of my light,
kind to be
Cruel.

It taints and slithers into
Every life's necessities.
Now it wears a crown saying:
"You cannot go on,
You cannot survive
without me!"

It has become
The Judge,
Jury
And executioner
Without
Authority.

It has become
Our only means of
Expressing beauty and
Creativity
In the most perverted of ways
As it tries to
Simulate an alternate reality
Making me
A fool
Who’s Kind to be
Cruel.
Nov 2020 · 264
Put Me Back to Sleep
Sabika H Nov 2020
There is fire in my stomach
And smoke in my throat
And soot in my brain.
So hazy is my life,
Overwhelmed by guilt and shame.
So heavy is this burden,
I want someone to blame.
So disgusted I am with myself,
I want you to be the same.

Oh God,
I will not complain about my life
And my woes;
Instead
I tear myself up from the root and
Pull my brain out through
My nose.

I want to die but,
I don’t want to burn,
Even though I am burning
On my own.

Leave me alone, lock me up
And throw away the **** key.
Take my consciousness far away from me.
Let me die without being dead so
I don’t have to feel the
Scorching heat of my actions.

I know I don’t deserve heaven so
As mercy undo my existence and
Put me back to sleep.
Nov 2020 · 223
I decide
Sabika H Nov 2020
Behold my careful stride,
I decide.
I decide.

I test the winds
and waters,
I decide
the fate of of the dwellers.

Carried by an external force,
I decide my inner course.
Oct 2020 · 236
Childhood Wonders
Sabika H Oct 2020
I’ve grown numb
And accustomed to
Whatever that was deemed
Extraordinary.
Does this make me dull
If the complexity of the universe
Has become
Ordinary?
No longer a stranger or an enigma
To my inner experience?
Does this make me boring
If I no longer find joy
In discovering something
Unsurprising?
For when you
Constantly dwell and live
In the unknown
Is it really a big deal
To find something unexpected?
I mean... what did you expect anyway?

I am more interested in human interactions
In the consequences
And the causes
Of my actions
And I have internalised the outside world
And the outside wonders and
Discipline and harmony
Has become my quest and
My childish discovery.
Sep 2020 · 240
Conscious
Sabika H Sep 2020
Monitor the way you speak to yourself,
Catch yourself
In the midst of your own delusions.
You have mirrors
And a light in the middle
And you bounce off surfaces,
Weaknesses and solutions.
Confined in a body in a body
Revelling in a cognitive dissonance,
As you recognise within you
A drop from the divine,
You cannot ignore the infinite distance.
Sep 2020 · 320
Little Girl
Sabika H Sep 2020
I tell her:
My little girl,
These days are intense
And alone.
And I know when you
Open that gate,
You do not recognise your home.

My little girl,
I know your mind is dark,
I know there are traces of a plague
Infecting your heart,
I know you want a fresh new start-
But put down the knife
And let wounds mend
And pains blend,
And see this life
To its natural end.
Jul 2020 · 315
Water & Wind
Sabika H Jul 2020
The tap drips onto
still waters.
Ripples echo and remind me
of my mortality,
then I am reminded of
my morality
and suddenly
I don't have much time.
Ripples echo
and remind me of
my loneliness and
suddenly
nothing I own is truly
mine.

These waters are deep
and dark and stare
into the abyss inside.
A hollow shell governed by
reckless winds,
what happens when
water and wind
collide?
Jul 2020 · 280
MEMENTO MORI
Sabika H Jul 2020
Young child,
Remember the promise,
The contract signed from
your very first heartbeat.

Your first breath of life was not easy
And it never will be.

Young child,
You did not open your eyes
To live the rest of your life
Dreaming;
Your very first speech
Was you screaming -
Young child,
You came to us
Squealing
Asking:
"What are these feelings I'm feeling?"

And I told you
This is pain,
You are alive,
And your promise is
Struggle and heartbreak
With the occasional smile,
Young Child,
Your promise is death
For a while.
Is birth really a joyful event?
Jun 2020 · 341
Pigs, Bats & Rats
Sabika H Jun 2020
Pigs carry giant whips
and shoot bullets
and spray their spit
at bats.

Bats fly and bump into rats.
Rats claim they are cousins
yet eat some bats and
become poisonous in their speech.
Bats cry out that everyone can have
a slice of the freedom cake
take one piece each.

Rats are hungry
because there's a hole in their tummy
so they tell the pigs to steal the whole cake.
Bats bat their eyelids to the darkness
realizing their alliance
was fake.
Jun 2020 · 445
Truth
Sabika H Jun 2020
Truth is still water,
a gentle whisper,
a soft touch.
Easy to ignore
yet
persistent
consistent.
Jun 2020 · 201
Child of Humanity
Sabika H Jun 2020
I'm in love with a lover
Who is loved by another
and I'd die just to see you
smile at me.

He's the son of a daughter
Who is married to his father
And they're all the children
Of humanity.

I'm stronger in sorrow
I carry till tomorrow
And I'm productive
In insanity

As I chase the devil
The path becomes narrow
And I hate the incarnation
Of profanity.

Here I am.
Do you see me?

I am lost
I'm alone
Lead me to my
Destiny.

I am man.
All men are me.
And I live with this truth
Vicariously.

I'm indebted to your kindness
My lord, you are the finest
And there's no denying
Reality.

I have found my purpose
Help me to stay focused
And save me from your
Calamity.
May 2020 · 359
Lonely
Sabika H May 2020
There is no companion,
Only company.
There is no love but
They are lovely.
There is no curiosity to ask:
“What are your dreams?”
“Your secrets?”
“Your difficulties?”
There’s no desire to observe a legacy.

Maybe the protagonist is to blame.
Years were spent building
A foundation based on
Secrecy and mistrust
But I had no idea
People were happy and willing
To play along.
May 2020 · 802
Grey
Sabika H May 2020
Within the seconds between night
And day,
In dusk and in dawn,
I dwell in the grey
And balance the moon and the sun.
May 2020 · 241
Fearful Conscience
Sabika H May 2020
I feel such terrible distress
Like I lost something as precious
As my purpose.
All the screams and darkness
Swooping over me and drowning my senses
Fear is senseless
And reckless.
Fear is helpless
So painful it’s painless.
So dark
It blinds me with its brightness.

This world goes in circles
And repeats cycles
And I’m stuck in the middle
As I cry in my comfortable cradle
Because I am blessed to point out that
my only curse
Is having to feel
And live a life so real
It haunts me in my sleep
And seeps into my dreams.
And buries me in a grave.

Why do I cry for the future?
The present is a cloud
And fate is the wind
And I try to find my silhouette
Reflected within.

I revel in this collective fearful consciousness.
I revel in this confused toxicity and if this isn’t telling
Then I should be yelling.
May 2020 · 170
Ice
Sabika H May 2020
Ice
Stuck a sticker on a
Block of cold ice.
The sticker is stuck
In a frozen smile.

Maybe that smile
The resolve
The will
Is warm enough to make
Cold hearts melt.

And I drip,
Drip,
Drip.
May 2020 · 316
Fate
Sabika H May 2020
Mummified me tight in her web,
she finds it funny
that my eyes are left open.

I shake
but I cannot listen
and I cannot scream
and she stares until
my heart is broken.

she whispers and I read her lips:
"I am fate,
and you were held firm in my clutches
ever since man has fallen.

"Lay, watch, and twitch
and remember my dear,
every breath you take is testimony
that you were chosen."
Apr 2020 · 238
Demon
Sabika H Apr 2020
Scratches on my neck
And blood in my mouth as I wake.
Faces
I see faces,
Voices,
I hear your footsteps behind me,
Is my life at stake?

Eyes open
Laid bare
But I cannot move!
Flesh out my mouth
Snake bites my neck,
What have you got got to prove?

My mind,
A haunting ghost
Stares at me wide eyed,
Open mouth,
It’s a black shadow
Full of sorrow
And it feeds me
Guilt and doubt
Until tomorrow
Until tomorrow
Apr 2020 · 264
Mortal Coil
Sabika H Apr 2020
Your tear
Trickles and drips
Into a sea
Of blood.
Chains left
Red and blue stains
Around your wrist,
Around your neck.
Mirrors show a reality
You cannot accept.

You scream
Watching the growth of
A rotten seed.
What else do you do
In the wake of
The ugliest deed?
What else do you do
In the wake of
A limitless greed?

Your tear
Trickles and drips
Into a sea of blood.
Ripples grow
And reach out
Far and wide
Tainting streams.

The blood boils.
The blood hears the chains
Rattle in this
Mortal coil.
Jan 2020 · 224
The Light of Night
Sabika H Jan 2020
I’m inspired
Underneath the cloak of the night
Before the crack of dawn.

Comforted
In the space between the walls
This soul built for itself.
Foundations set
On the comfort of the confirmation of
The truth.
Foundations laid specifically
To limit me,
Specifically
To set me free.

When the divine design is
Bare and naked,
Consciousness shows it’s double edges;
Consciousness becomes a threat and
I am conned.
Consciousness turns me into a slandering dog and I’ll fetch whatever entices your eyes
For your love becomes
My love of
I.

Desires and emotions,
Fleeting like night and day,
In a vulnerable soul.

How do I put this?

I am free underneath the cloak of night.
And you could bring the rays of dawn.
But first
Understand the light in darkness.
Go beyond sight,
Because I am free from
The expectation of
Surface delight.
Jan 2020 · 601
Sour Lemon, Sweet Honey
Sabika H Jan 2020
Sour scented citrus,
Sweet, slimy syrup.
That’s me!
Sour lemon,
Sweet honey.

My heart burns and
Emotions rise up
In acidic scent,
Sticky, icky, stingy
Sour lemon sweet honey.

The love stings and sits on cuts.
While honey glazes and gives warm hugs
As it finds a cure in the blood
Wherever it may be
With the right combination of:
Sour lemon and sweet honey.
Jan 2020 · 150
The Architect
Sabika H Jan 2020
He performs an act of deformation
Because while the world seems to be
In a period of stagnation,
Out swarms his imagination.

The process of distortion is meditative.
Something natural about using
Force on an object stubborn yet
Submissive.

He casts it on fire.
Bends it
Pulls it
Throws it
Kick it!
Hit it!
Scrape it!
Tear it!
DESTROY IT
and see it destroyed-
Created into an imagined image.

His urge completed,
He marvels at his god-likeness
To bend objects at his peril
Taken out of its feral
In a process as natural and
Disruptive as
An earthquake or a tsunami.
And yet,
He bares no blame or shame for
Mimicking life in the dead and gone.
Jan 2020 · 309
Transaction
Sabika H Jan 2020
I understand
Love to be the appreciation of
What you can give.

No, love is love for the sake of love.

But I see nothing innocent, just pure.
“I appreciate you for the way you make me feel”
A.k.A
“I appreciate you for what you give to me”
A.K.A
“I love you.”

Sure it’s a little sweet but
It’s the only time you don’t mind being
Positively manipulated,
Positively used.
And you balance the scales with:
“I love you too”.

I feed off of you,
As you feed off of me,
And we’ll call this relationship ‘healthy’
And here we are.
Bound by a verbal contract,
Constantly in contact.
And I am stuck in your orbit oblivious as
To where I am headed.
I don’t understand this.
I look for the exit,
Because you are hungry,
And I am poor.
Jan 2020 · 252
Forgive Me
Sabika H Jan 2020
Forgive me for when my eyes are shut and my hands roam,
Or when my hands are tied yet my eyes stab.
Forgive me when I am ignorant and stomp my feet,
Or when I softly step into a territory that I know is made for my demise.
Forgive me when I am a coward who thinks she is wise.
Jan 2020 · 256
Unanswered
Sabika H Jan 2020
Would the question still be beautiful
If you knew the answer?
Jan 2020 · 229
How I am
Sabika H Jan 2020
In my mind I say what I mean
And mean what I say.
But my actions could speak otherwise.
Am I a hypocrite if my mind is far greater than my own two hands?

Am I helpless if I know what to do,
But my body won’t move according to plan?

Am I deluded if I think I can
When I can’t,
Or if I think I can’t,
When I can?

Am I who I am
Or am I what I am?
Jan 2020 · 185
Fire A Liar
Sabika H Jan 2020
I want to stab a knife to your canvas
And maybe as expected,
Instead of flesh and bones
I find snakes
Slithering, swirling frantically,
Kissed by fear in their evil eyes,
In their terrible surprise
Fire has exposed them!

I want to dash red paint on that fake smile
And watch you gurgle on your own blood
As it pours
Thick, black
From between your teeth.

I want to rip out your lying, beating heart,
Blackened by your sins and selfish intentions,
And watch your hollow eyes finally
Show true emotions.

And I will not stop picking
You apart until you cry
“I give up!”
But how can I trust a
Black
Lying
Beating
Heart?
Jan 2020 · 166
Procrastination
Sabika H Jan 2020
Still in time.
Or so I thought.
          
           Fooled.
Overwhelmed by an emotion of unwanted desire,
Knowing there’s an island on the other side.

But

Fooled by fear
I drown slowly
In a calm despair.
Jan 2020 · 183
Once Upon a Passion
Sabika H Jan 2020
Once upon a time
There was a passion,
Like burning fire,
Boiling water,
Saturated with desire.
The thirst of needing to be seen,
To be heard,
To be free as a soaring bird
Was unquenchable and
Unquestionable.

It was so clear
It ruled out the anxiety
And the fear
Of being judged
Being wrong
And being crushed.

Now that passion has burned out,
Drained,
Pale;
What is left is the anxiety
The possibility
To fail.
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