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void Dec 2018
i layed forever just holding back dry tears and when i finally got the courage to move i went through the motions of going to bed
and i got upstairs and i grabbed my guitar and i held it and i tried to play but i couldn't it kept getting worse so i just stood there
guitar in my hands and i was shaking and i couldn't breathe
so i layed down and i waited to be told goodnight and i layed on my side choking on myself
and then i couldn't move and i couldn't do anything and i tried to write but it didn't feel good so i layed in my side choking on myself
and i tried to draw but it almost made me cry so i layed on my side choking on myself
and i grabbed my guitar again and put it down and layed down on my side choking on myself
and i just couldn't break away and
it was the most awful feeling on earth
and i could hear so many things being said and i could see
so many things happening inside my head and i couldn't shut them out so the tears started to seep but i couldn't cry and i could feel myself choking
on myself and i couldn't do anything about it
choking on myself and
i couldn't do anything about it
choking on myself
Lost Girl Nov 2018
Mind is racing.
Leg is shaking.
Palms are sweating.
Heart is pounding.
Throat is closing.
Am I dying?
Rayne Nov 2018
My insides shriek
threatening to burst my head
shatter my body

My legs can't hold anymore
my knees splintering
like dying wood

I can't help but crumple to the floor
feel my tears bleed down my cheeks.

I want to scream
but my throat is clogged tight
not even allowing a squeak.

The tick of the clock
feels like the rumble of an earthquake
awakening all of my fears.

At once
my thoughts come swarming in
hollering over each other
yet I hear everything.

No one can hear the cacophany in my head
the screaming in my throat
my throbbing heart.

They just watch with pity
a desperate weakling like me
crying helplessly
waiting for nothing.
Emily Nov 2018
I asked you to come over last night.
I felt like I was laying on rock bottom
With no way to get up
As more rocks were gradually being stacked on top of me.
The weight became too much to bear
My body started shaking uncontrollably
I did not want to be alone.
“Just take deep breaths, I’ll hurry.”
You came over and you climbed into my bed
You held me until my racing heart had calmed
And I finally felt like I could breathe again.
Then something in you switched-
You started gripping me tighter
Moving your hands to lower places
“Please babe, I really don’t want that tonight.
 I don’t feel like myself. I just want you to hold me.”
You were persistent, whispering
“Your body tells me otherwise.”
My heart began to speed up again
As I tried one more time to say,
“Please I can’t handle that tonight.
I thought it was clear, I just wanted you to hold me,
And make me feel okay again.”
This time you tried to take my pants off.
“Do you want this-
Or do you want me to go home?”
Giving me an ultimatum.
“I just want to feel okay.
I don’t want that tonight.”
And with that you got out of bed and
Grabbed your keys and belongings as you headed for the door.

I made sure you were watching-
As I undressed myself
Throwing my clothes into a neat pile on the ground
Before wrapping myself up in my fuzzy blanket
To comfort and calm myself.
I saw your true character last night.
And I learned
That you cannot find serenity
In the same place you found discomfort.
rebecca Sep 2018
I don't understand
p e r s i s t e n t
I was fine two minutes ago
u n c o n t r o l a b l e
I know I'm okay
o v e r w h e l m i n g
but
e x c e s s i v e
I can't
i r r a t i o n a l
breathe
d r e a d
why did
d i s a b l i n g
I even say
p o u n d i n g   h e a r t
that
s w e a t
do that
t r e m b l i n g
why am I doing this
s h a k i n g
I can't
s m o t h e r i n g
do this
c h o k i n g
someone
c h e s t   p a i n
please
d i s c o m f o r t
help me
n a u s e a
save me
d i z z y
I can't stop
u n s t e a d y
am I
l i g h t - h e a d e d
crazy?
f a i n t
am I
c h i l l s
dying?
h o t   f l a s h
they all
n u m b n e s s
think that
t i n g l i n g
a freak
d e r e a l i z a t i o n
no one will
d e p e r s o n a l i z a t i o n
ever
l o s i n g   c o n t r o l
love me
“ g o i n g   c r a z y ”
why does it feel like I'm
d y i n g
STOP
N O
STOp
N o
STop
n o
Stop
. . .
stop
. .
please
.
just...stop
Edi Sep 2018
Heart's racing, I'm screaming in pain.
What's this?
Everything's spinning, I can't make out my own brain.
I can't hear anything but my own heartbeart.
It hurts. It hurts so much.
I don't even know why.
How did this happen?
I can't keep my balance.
Am I gonna die?
I fall to the ground, tears streaming down.
Can't speak.
Can't breathe.
Oh god, I can't breathe!
Kelsey Aug 2018
I cannot breathe

My nostrils caving in on themselves
The sensation of impaling arrows piercing my chest

My body is heavier than it was
A minute ago
When I wasnt thinking
About
My breathing.

Twidling fingers
The twitch of my jaw
Restless legs: a mind of their own

This bed doesnt feel as comfortable
As it did
When I wasnt thinking
About
Relaxing.

"Just breathe"
"Its all in your head"
"Sink into the mattress"
"Dont look at how late it is"

My mind is much louder now
Than it was
When I wasnt thinking
About
My anxiety.
emily Sarker Jul 2018
Leaning against the wall,
I slid down and sat there on the cold ground.
Quiet on the outside,
but in the inside
I was screaming.
With my Head on the cold dead ground
I pulled my legs in close to my body arms over my head.
I Curled up into a position that a human body merely wasn't made to find comfortable.
I lay still
So many emotions ran through my head.  
To handle these emotions seemed foreign to me,
For I did not know what emotions I was feeling.
Tears streamed down my face while I lay quiet and still.
Frustration of not knowing why I was crying or if this was what it felt like when sadness took over me was driving me insane.
Yet I lay still.
Not one scream
not one change in my face
not one limb flinched.
Weak and tired I cried the tears that my body could still produce.
Until I began to fall asleep
As tiredness and failure took over me
I gave into my mind and laid still as my mind cooled down and celebrated victory with a dream
I have never been able to understand or grasp what fully happens in an anxiety attack but this poem describes the last stages of  one where you give into your mind as everything gets slow and you eventually knock out from the inner war you fought against your mind. Anxiety attack are unknown  to the human mind
Ene Abu Jun 2018
We just want to be loved,
Not used,
We just want to have smiles,
No tear is meant to be shed,
Just hugs and kisses,
Ice cream and cookies,
Tell me you love me,
Promise you'll stay,
I have no worries,
As long as  You will stay,
Tell me you love me,
Promise you'll stay,
Friendships and lovers,
Please don't use me that way.
I just want to be loved,
Do i ask for too much?
They say we are complicated but we are not, we just want to be loved...
Illya Oz Jun 2018
I can feel someone's hands inside my abdomen,
Holding all my vital organs in those hands,
And squeezing till I feel like I might burst.
They have their hands around my throat,
So that I can't speak, can't move, can't breathe.
Until there is no way I could ever escape from them.
Anxiety isn't just mental, it becomes such a strong physical feeling that sometimes I don't even realise I'm anxious until I feel the  tightness in my stomach or the blockage in my throat.
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