Rebel Heart: Poems

19.8k · May 2014

Choices

Rebel Heart May 2014

Choices

Everybody has to make choices.
One choice can seal your fate.
One choice can make or break.
And that choice is never as easy as cake.

I'm just having a hard time making choices.

#truth #life #choices #hardships

4.5k · Jun 2015

Zero Or Hero

Rebel Heart Jun 2015

Zero Or Hero

Most days...
I feel like a zero,
Most days...
I pretend to be a hero.

Looks are deceiving

#feelings #hero #looks #zero #deceiving

3.7k · Aug 2017

Exhausted.

Rebel Heart Aug 2017

Exhausted.

You say I'm running from myself
I guess you're right
Maybe I am
All I know is that the reason
I hear my heartbeat so clearly
Is because my chest is hollow

I am made up of layers
Too many layers
As if my skin
Was preparing to survive
Out in dead winter at the South Pole

I'm annoying
  I'm distrustful

    I'm stubborn
       And I'm doubtful

           And secretive

Maybe downright manipulative

   But most of all I'm exhausted

Exhausted of the nothingness
   That I float around in
Exhausted of everything
  That comes and goes
    Ensuring chaos
Exhausted of everything and nothing
  And all things in between
         Exhausted of
                     **living

Too tired to live too important to die, guess the story keeps repeating doesn't it?
(Front page 8/14/17)

#exhausted #tired #depression #chaos #life #death #nothing #empty #everything #layers

3.4k · May 2014

Trapped

Rebel Heart May 2014

Trapped

As the wind rushes by the trees,
The birds go chirping, buzz go the bees,
And the salty air lingers by the seas.

Though I yearn to touch the sun,
And wish to have some fun,
I am trapped and cannot run.

Run from darkness I desire,
But I'm already consumed by this deadly fire,
And am trapped in my room like a flat tire.

The doors are wide open an no chains hold me in place,
But I'm just tired of running this way-too-long race,
And I no longer want to face,
This "wonderful" world of greed and no grace.

Trapped I am and trapped I'll stay,
For the world refuses to change its ways,
And I can't handle anymore false rays,
Plus I can't do anything to help anyways.

This is a poem on a person who gave up on the world and just stays trapped in his/her room. Hopefully, this person isn't you because it's us who can change this world if we really try. :)

#truth #world #depressed #trapped #givenup

3.3k · Mar 2018

Cynical Romantic

Rebel Heart Mar 2018

Cynical Romantic

I push everyone away
Praying somebody would stay
My logic more ****** up
Than my entire existence.

I'd never want you to let go
Yet I'll do everything I can
To try to shake you off
And drive you running
Light-years away from me

Because sweetheart I'm broken
Not just bent
I'm nothing but empty space
Hallow through and through

Because I'm not just heartless
I'm scarred beyond recognition
My ghosts haunting alleys
I could never show to you
...
It's not that I don't believe in love
For I have an abundance of it to give
It's just that I don't have anyone to give it to
....
.
.
.
.
(Some of the closest people to me once told me I was a cynical romantic and I guess I didn't understand it until just now...).

(Beginning of another long-winded 'rant' from RH that really makes me think I judged her wrong in some ways. The note at the bottom was her last sentence in her last journal entry I just finished reading and it has been a roller coaster of emotions so Happy Writing and Enjoy!~ BM)

#romantic #love #cynic #life #relationship #family #friend #you #me #us

3.1k · Nov 2016

The Heart's Words Of Silence

Rebel Heart Nov 2016

The Heart's Words Of Silence

Is it a sin
To be so broken apart...
To be so torn at the edges
That there's nothing left but heart?

I'm still beating
Though I feel like I have no soul.
This life I'm barely breathing,
And maybe I've lost control.

Skin torn off by shards of broken promises
Bones withered down by time,
Yet the only thing I have left is this heart
This heart I pour out in rhyme.

Maybe I've lost control
And all sense of direction
I have but nothing left,
Not even an ounce of protection.

These words I spill out,
Written in the blood of my empty heart,
They're the only thing I have left,
Every other piece of me is torn apart.

So I'm begging you,
With this one last thing I have to say,
Take care of these words, my heart,
It's already broken anyway.

This poem recently got published and I can't thank you guys enough for all the support and love...
Front page (11/14/2016)

#broken #words #depression #heart #pain #depressed #lost #silence #despair #torn

2.9k · Dec 2015

Escaping Faith (Haiku)

Rebel Heart Dec 2015

Escaping Faith (Haiku)

How will I escape
I'll forever be stuck in
This loop of blind faith

Excerpt from a song I've been producing turned into a haiku

#depression #haiku #faith #escape #forever #stuck

2.8k · Dec 2016

Living An Illusion

Rebel Heart Dec 2016

Living An Illusion

Well I guess we all have
our own versions of the truth
Our own little realities
Mine separate from you

When I say that I'm alright
And you know that's not true
When my smile, its so fake
And I can't hide it from you

So maybe I'm living in an illusion,
Or maybe this is all just a dream.
I don't want you to see my life
how it really is.
You mean too much to me

You barely scratched the surface
of my whole life story
And to tell the truth
I don't want you to know,
Just think that my life's boring

It's better for you
and better for me
If you keep living in this illusion
Because we only see what we want to see
And you don't need to see these scars...
They hide too much of the truth
The truth I myself hide from.

And I hope you'll never have to find
The ugly truth that I call my life
I'll keep it all buried in time
In this pain, in this strife.

I'm trying to hold on
To this little sliver of a lie
that holds the broken pieces of my reality,
Telling myself I'll be alright...
That this pain is just an illusion
And in truth I'll be fine.

But I was never good at lying
And I'm just doing this for you.

Because you're
safe
in your own little
reality
As long as its
Far
from my own little
truth.

The poem that inspired my new song "My Own Illusion". It won a competition but more importantly saved me from drowning on yet another night...

#truth #broken #life #sadness #reality #you #despair #illusion #fine #alright

2.8k · Feb 2017

My True Colors

Rebel Heart Feb 2017

My True Colors

I'm slipping away again
Deep into the unknown
Into this dark void of nothingness
Where my true colors are shown

In this valley of dark shadows
Dark monsters reign from the past
Stuck within a world of my own demons
I don't know how long I'll be able to last.

I thought I finally had a home
Somewhere I belonged and cared
But I guess that was an illusion too
Along with the life I thought we shared

And I'm just wandering these empty alleys
Hiding from the monsters inside
They'll hunt me down and tear me apart
Till I have nothing left but pride

Pride that I didn't give in
Somehow I survived another day
I managed to watch another sunset
Wishing my problems would just go away

When you think everyday is your last
That these demons will finally **** you
Then what's left to live for in this world?
Besides the broken pieces of what we once knew...

But I can't show you what hides behind
my mirage of this rainbow of hopeful colors.
The color red bleeds on my skin
While black and grey everything covers

Because I breathe in nothing but ashes
And the shadows of what once used to be
I'm stuck between a valley of empty promises
Behind this illusion I put out for you to see

In truth, I'm just a broken girl
Simply too weak to survive
Yet there's nothing more I can possibly do
Then put on a plastic smile and hide.

Because though I seem to be just fine
My true colors are bleeding through
They pop up on my skin,
Colors red, black and blue.
And when I'm running from my demons
My only thought is of you
Seeing another day would've been easier
If only you just knew.

This one's long but I started writing it in class today and couldn't stop. Just emotions from everything going on this past week just flowed out into so many strings of random thoughts/poetry. This poem was one of the many I wrote today (the least depressing one) and I guess I just need some bit of hope to hold on to for a while. The 'you' in this story isn't one but multiple people, which goes to remind you all you need is just one person to come up and tell you everything is going to be alright. I'm just so tired of that one person always having to be myself

#depressing #truth #sad #dark #demons #strange #color #colors #monsters #nothingness

2.5k · Mar 2015

This Journey

Rebel Heart Mar 2015

This Journey

Struggling down this journey,
this journey they call life.
Wanting to cry, wanting to stop,
this journey, this strife.

Can't walk, so keep crawling,
even if its too hard,
can't be brave, so keep moving,
or the journey will leave you scarred.

Its hard to see the light,
when you're surrounded by dark,
its hard to see the point,
in the end, you'll leave your mark.

Don't think, just do,
keep forging on ahead,
Don't worry, just move,
pretend its in your head.

Life is a journey,
it just doesn't want to stop,
so get up, keep moving,
otherwise, you'll flop.

This journey is full,
of hurdles and tears,
but in the end, its over,
with smiles and cheers.

So keep moving, don't stop,
this journey will be a thrill,
and when you're down, just think,
"If I don't do it...who will?"

Life has chosen you to take this journey, so finish it...:)

#life #journey #inspirational #encouraging

2.4k · Jan 2017

Fake Love

Rebel Heart Jan 2017

Fake Love

Show me fake love,
Lie to me in the face...
Kiss me with broken words
and hold me in an empty embrace.

Love me,
Love me not
I don't even care.
Just remember to
buy me some flowers
and play with my hair.

Compliment me
once in a while
tell me jokes and
make me smile

Make me fake promises
promise me a place
with just the two of us
and nothing but empty space.

Because love is just an illusion
that does nothing but shatter my heart
and what we have is a hopeless dream
and you'll understand that if you're smart.

Just show me fake love,
and lie to me in the face...
Kiss me with tainted words
and break me with grace

Just harsh, unedited mess of words splattered into stanzas. Don't even read, just keep scrolling along.

#love #dream #words #fake #empty #you #illusion #heartbroke

2.1k · Mar 2018

Illusioned Love

Rebel Heart Mar 2018

Illusioned Love

Are we really in Love?
Or
Are we in love
With the illusion
Of what we could be?

#love #relationship #heart #heartbreak #life #illusion #us #him #her #break

2.0k · Oct 2017

My Favorite Drug

Rebel Heart Oct 2017

My Favorite Drug

"Don't do drugs"
Everyone always says
They're addictive
Self-harming,
Cruel in every way.
I pledged to be drug-free
Since my pig-tail days.
But then you crashed into my life
And blew everything away.

My worst addiction
Was the sweetness of your lips
My favorite destruction
Written in your fingertips
My worst obsession
The deep color of your eyes
My favorite drug
In your sweet little lies.

Poem from some years ago I feel too deeply right now. Happy writing ~ BM

(Front Page 10/7/17)

#drug #addiction #you #lies #broken #break #lips #life #love #eyes

1.9k · Feb 2017

Steel Hearts and A Palm Tree

Rebel Heart Feb 2017

Steel Hearts and A Palm Tree

So
Sticks and stones
may break my bones
but words may never hurt me

Because
my heart is cold,
of ice and stone
sitting alone in a palm tree

And
words whizz by
and my steel heart lay stuck,
in this little brown tree

I
forever wonder if the
world spinning by
will ever stop to notice me

Maybe
I'm just lost and
in this cold world I'll find you
standing there holding a key

To
Unlock my heart
and spill my secrets out
out for everyone to see

Can
I finally get away
From being locked up inside
myself and finally be free?

Or
Am I just dreaming
Are you already gone
far away from me?

So
It's sad but without you
my heart's still lost,
cold and dying out at sea

Because
steel drowns
though, for now, I sit here
waiting in this little palm tree

Just for fun

#heartbreak #broken #heart #alone #ice #tree #you #me #us #cold

1.7k · May 2017

Broken Down History

Rebel Heart May 2017

Broken Down History

You called me an artist
With a broken down soul
So when did I become your seamstress
And someone you thought you could control?

Trying to sew together these pieces
Of your broken down heart.
But who's going to be there for me
Deep in the night when I fall apart?

I'm just held together by band-aids
That you would call plastic smiles
Simply dressed in faux happiness
That you would call a style.

Eyes twinkling in a pool of lies
While my demons fight within
Adding a fake skip to my stride
While hiding these cuts on my skin.

But tonight,
The shards from my empty,
broken down heart
Are cutting in way too deep

And tonight,
The echoes in my empty,
broken down walls
Are screaming too loud to sleep.

So as I toss and turn tonight
In this endless infinite beat
Where are you now darling
As I'm alone crying in my sheets

And one thing is for sure
Never again will we meet
Because only one thing is for sure
This history always repeats

Still needs to be edited and any comments/suggestions are welcome :)

#broken #down #sew #seamstress #artist #you #me #us #history #repeat #sadness #depression #loud #insomnia #deep #plastic #love #heartbroken #night

1.6k · Oct 2014

A Message

Rebel Heart Oct 2014

A Message

This is a message to all others like me,
The ones who waited,
who are waiting,
To be free.

It’s for all the believers,
The ones who never gave up,
who won’t give up,
Until they are all achievers.

A message to the lover,
The people who find hearts,
And the hearts who find people,
To make love stories we discover.

This message is to you my friend,
For making me feel like something
And helping me be me,
So all my wounds would mend.

This message is for you <3

#thankful #inspirational #message

1.6k · Jun 2018

It's Unfair...

Rebel Heart Jun 2018

It's Unfair...

It's unfair
How when people leave
Everything that reminds you of them
Tends to stay
It's unfair
How I can't just move on
Without dying a little everyday
It's unfair
...
~It's unfair how much I miss you and
it's unfair how much I really shouldn't.

(Haven't posted in a long time and probably won't be posting for a time after this week is over so here's the beginning of a 6 page long rant of the most hypocritically written piece of RH's that I've ever read.. Happy Writing ~BM)

(Front Page 6/5/2018)

#friend #leave #stay #unfair #life #pain #day #memory #miss #heartbreak

1.5k · Sep 2017

*Disappearance*

Rebel Heart Sep 2017

*Disappearance*

I just want to pack my bags
And vanish
Leave without a trace

Spend the rest of my life
In solitude
Knowing
I'm no longer
A burden to you...
...
Maybe this way I'll find me,
The real me,
The one that lives outside of
These useless broken words
The one that breathes outside of
This loop of a mess that's become
My nightmare and my life all at once
...
Maybe this way I can finally
Throw away my masks
Maybe this way I can finally
Taste freedom
Maybe this way
I might even discover
The meaning of
True happiness

*And maybe this time
I won't run away from it

"She loved mysteries so much that she became one..." Maybe she became one to finally unlock the mysteries of the world...
Front Page (9/13/17)
(Just some scribbles on a lined paper someone will find years from now in the trash...)

#mystery #leave #life #burden #find #search #mask #discover #broken #broke

1.4k · Aug 2014

Furry Friends

Rebel Heart Aug 2014

Furry Friends

I actually picked him up outside a bar,
Where he wanted to get in my car.

Next he asked to move in,
I agreed-it wasn't a sin!

Me and him, we go together.
I wouldn't let him go, ever!

Soft pale skin and dark green eyes,
One look at him and I was so surprised.

Best black hair I'd ever seen,
Body frame was tall and lean.

I love the way he snuggles up to me,
And the way he licks me too.
I love the way we cuddle in my bed.
And the way he barks at me when he gets mad too.

Though he may at times be disloyal,
I forgive his nature and leave his mistakes in the soil.

Best of friends we are,
Maybe even more.
Though I doubt we'd ever get married,
That would be a bore.

Me and my dog, Wolfy's the name,
I love him cause unlike my ex's, he's not lame.

Never jump to any conclusions.
Things aren't always as they seem.

#judging #twist

1.4k · Oct 2017

If There's Any Hope Left...

Rebel Heart Oct 2017

If There's Any Hope Left...

If there's any hope left
It's sewn in the edges of the stars
That sprinkle over the midnight sky
While I lay fitting perfectly
In your warm arms...

If there's any hope left
It's in the echoing sounds of the music
Dancing out of our guitars
While we strum and sing
Perfectly to the beat
Of our mending hearts...

If there's any hope left
I see it in your smile
And in the pool of your deep dark eyes
When you pull me close
Next to the cackling of the bonfire
And the sound of the gossiping woods...

If there's any hope left
I feel it in your lips
As they pull and whisper in mine
I feel it on your warm skin
As your fingers electrify my body
To spell out "I love you"
Over and over again
Till the morning wind
Blows on our fates
*And washes the hope away...

A resurrected piece that makes me think of how much has changed since the autumn season when this was written. This particular poem was a bit longer and a lot more depressing at the end so here's a sneak peek. I guess I'm back to taking over RH's account so happy writing lovelies~BM

#love #fall #autumn #bonfire #hope #fire #wind #music #sound #eyes

1.4k · Jul 2014

Roses Are Red (4)

Rebel Heart Jul 2014

Roses Are Red (4)

Roses are Red,
Blood is too,
So hide those butter knives,
Peter is coming four you!

Divergent anyone?

#books #divergent

1.4k · Jul 2017

Toxic Kiss

Rebel Heart Jul 2017

Toxic Kiss

Kiss me so deep
That I forget what it is to breathe...

Let me taste the sweet sins of your soft lips
Map out every inch of my bare skin
Let me get lost in the music
of your body against mine
Until the earth starts to shake and spin

Because if tonight's all we have
Then darling make me all yours
Don't think about the future and what's past

Because when the sun betrays us in the morning
This perfect illusion will disappear
Don't worry we both knew we wouldn't last

But if there's one thing I know for sure
It's the fact that I'll forever be marked yours
And the memories of you will keep me breathless.
So until we meet again, my poisonous old friend
Kiss me with your toxic lips once more

I had to take out some parts of this poem in the attempt to keep it short. Lost in the chaos of 2015 I'm not sure what inspired this poem but I found this tragically beautiful, like most doomed loves nonetheless... enjoy! ~BM
(Front Page 7/29/2017)

#toxic #lips #kiss #you #doomed #love #heart #poison #breathless #perfect

1.4k · Aug 2014

Who I Am

Rebel Heart Aug 2014

Who I Am

Who am I?
The answer is simply a sigh,
For I cannot give a reply,
Because I don't know I.

In school, I'm studious
With friends, I'm funny
Playing sports, I'm super
For relatives, I'm responsible
Musically, I'm marvelous
In front of parents, I'm plenty

All in all I'm an overachiever,
The title I've achieved by achieving.

Yes I get all the praises,
But that doesn't mean they're true.
For behind everyone's smiles,
I can see that their jealousy grew.

Little Miss Perfect,
Is what they call me,
Behind my back they stab,
I'm not blind you see?

Everyone's out for revenge,
They watch me like a hawk,
They wait for me to fail at something,
So for that thing they could mock.

I hate it
I'm tired of it
Can't you see?

I can't help it,
I'm just good at it,
Let me be.

I'm done with your plastic smiles,
I won't need you for a million miles.

I've finally just found me
I finally understand.
I don't need praises to guide me,
I won't need to hold anyone's hand.

I'm finally walking my own path.
Which is far from yours.
I'm finally walking my own path,
Not crawling on all fours.
I'm finally walking my own path,
I'm confident and free.
I'm finally walking my own path,
To MY destiny.

I no more need to ask Who Am I .
I've figure that part out.
Now everyone will know Who I Am
Without a doubt.

Be yourself even if others don't like it, because someday, the whole world will love you for who you are not who you've pretended to be. :)

#life #perfection #inspirational #destiny #motivational #reflective

1.4k · Aug 2017

Doomed Love

Rebel Heart Aug 2017

Doomed Love

What if I told you I really loved you
Someplace away from the depths of my poetry
Somewhere away from the corners of my chaotic mind
Sometime away from the words I weave
When I'm lost in the thoughts of you

Yet
I couldn't give you that power
To take every broken shard left of me
And walk away
Just to leave me with nothing more
But more pain and regret

So my pencil keeps scribbling
The mess I feel for you
At least until my hand goes as numb
As my heart

Forever doomed to live with these chained desires
Forever doomed to silence my own pain
Forever doomed to wear these imperfect masks
     And forever
             doomed
                    to never
                              love
...

Never again.

Love that cannot be voiced is the most tragic kind, don't you agree? Two tormented lovers hiding their feelings from each other both too scared to admit what they feel. To all doomed loves, its better to live with rejection rather than regret and with that I wish you all a wonderful day ~BM

#doomed #love #heartbreak #you #numb #sad #feelings #life #us #live

1.3k · Sep 2017

Depression is...

Rebel Heart Sep 2017

Depression is...

Standing in a sea of people
As a lone island
Floating around
In the endless nothingness
Drifting away and drowning
Falling apart
And piecing yourself back together
Over and over
And over again
Every single second of the day
Wishing for it to all stop
Helplessly knowing
Nobody will ever hear
Your silent cries
...
Noone could ever save you
Because how could they
Ever save you
From yourself
...
It's hearing yourself talk
And move
And smile
Maybe even laugh
But knowing
It's all an act
With noone to yell "cut"
At the end of the scene..
Because your whole life
Has become a giant play,
Where there could be
A thousand people
And a thousand lights,
There could be a thousand claps
And a thousand great nights
Still all the while
You'd be a thousand times lonely
Drowning in the lights
Drowning in the laughter
Drowning in yourself
All because
You've become too good
At acting
Like you could swim
...
Depression is killing yourself
Slowly
Every day
Every minute
Every single second,
From the inside out
Because you don't know
Who you are anymore
Except for an empty body
Defining disappointment
And a burden
And a void of fake
All wrapped in one.
...
Depression is Loneliness
Depression is Acting
Depression is Drowning
But most of all,
Depression is Me.

Excerpts from a journal entry a while back. I forgot I even wrote this as I hate going back and rereading my own material but I found it and it described how things have been lately. It hasn't been edited but some parts have been edited out... feel free to leave your thoughts.
Life has its valleys but it has its peaks too even if you can't see it, so keep holding on. And if you ever need someone to talk to I'll always be here to throw you a lifeline...

(Front page 9/16/17)

#depression #drowning #burden #sadness #depressed #drown #me #lonely #acting #people

1.3k · Jan 2017

Meaningless Battles

Rebel Heart Jan 2017

Meaningless Battles

My pencil scribbles
on this empty sheet
defining the story of my life.
Incoherent lines for
incoherent thoughts,
unable to describe this strife.

These useless words dance
on the empty edges of lined pain.
These ruthless monsters rejoice
on the empty corners of my brain.

My mind is a battlefield
of meaningless words
and demons of the past.
The only hero left
is a sole broken soul
that'll never even last.

But one look at you
and the lost soul is no more.
Something new flickers,
there's some hope for the war.

But the flicker of hope vanishes
as the last straying colors fade grey.
The hero knows it is a zero,
and doesn't want you to stay.

Because I'd let hope in to help,
but it's too late to try.
I have to fight this battle myself
Can't let you in to drown and die.

I'm bad news and a lost cause
all rolled into one
I may smile but I'm shattered,
incurable when the day is done.

Colorless...
Loveless...
Useless...
Like these words I pour out.

Emotionless...
Heartless...
Hopeless...
Chained up by demons, too broken to shout

#words #life #empty #battle #brain #strife #story #mind #shattered #stuck

1.3k · Sep 2014

You Don't Know Me

Rebel Heart Sep 2014

You Don't Know Me

You think I'm a weird kid,
The kid who always says hi,
The person who'll treat u like a friend,
Even when u say goodbye.

You think I'm the athletic one,
With energy bursting through my veins,
The kid who actually likes gym,
Who'll feel no pains.

You think I'm the smart kid,
Who loves school so much,
The person who can't wait to study again,
Just because I get good grades and such.

You think I'm the artsy one,
Who draws all day long,
Who can write long stories,
And turn anything into a song.

Well, you think you know,
But I know you don't you see.
Because I'm not any of these,
All of them are me.

You judge by my clothes,
You judge by my style,
You judge by my achievements,
And by my smile.

So I trick you each and everyday.
Wearing these masks in every way,
So the true me you will never betray,
And yet you say you know me-cliché

"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. "- Isaac Asimov

1.2k · Oct 2015

Life is a Great Mountain...

Rebel Heart Oct 2015

Life is a Great Mountain...

Life is a great mountain...
With cliffs and ledges where you may falter...
There will be points where you think you've reached your limit,
Points where you'd rather dig a hole and stay on the safe side...
There will be avalanches to knock you back,
Snowstorms that'll hold you up...
And most of all there will most definitely be times where you feel like you want to give up...
Only the strong minded and strong willed can continue,
Millions of people are found at the bottom, having a good time,
As you climb higher,
the less people there are,
The more competition there is...
In the end, only the strongest survive to reach the top...
At the peak, you experience the true thrill of life,
The kind that could either destroy you and your hard work or reward it for a lifetime...
But it doesn't end there, no...
Just you're at the top doesn't mean you'll stay there, you can't.
You can only be at the top for so long before you have to make your way down slowly,
And carefully without falling...
Because life is a great mountain,
And you have to climb without falling to the valleys below...

#truth #life #struggles #mountain #inspirational #achievements

1.2k · Oct 2014

Time

Rebel Heart Oct 2014

Time

Time is a fickle friend,
And such a tricky foe.
It gives you joyous memories,
Often it gifts you woe.

Time is a gift,
Yet you can never have a ton,
For nothing lasts forever,
Soon yours will be done.

Time is a fickle friend,
So tricky it tricks everyone,
It even cheats death,
See it never ceases to run.

Tick tick tock tock,
It's all it seems to say,
Tick tock tick tock,
It's the one thing you can never betray

The one thing that's infinite and impossible to cheat is time. And yours is ticking...

#time

1.2k · Apr 2018

My Scars

Rebel Heart Apr 2018

My Scars

He told me
My scars made me stronger
My scars made me beautiful
But he was wrong

The minute he realized
Just how deep the cuts ran-
Piercing through my skin
and bleeding out parts of my soul-
He turned the other way
And never looked back
Not once
...
And he left me thinking
How he was one of the good ones...
And if he couldn't love all of me
How would anyone ever
Love me for my scars?
...
How would anyone ever
Love me at all?
...

(Not a poem but a piece of one of RH's old novels I'm rereading just to realize I find something new to love about this story every time I read it. I'm missing her a lot more than usual lately but Happy Writing and thanks for the support! ~BM)

(Front Page 4/17/2018)

#scar #cut #bleed #beautiful #relationship #broke #skin #soul #life #love

1.2k · Apr 2017

Accidentally Alive

Rebel Heart Apr 2017

Accidentally Alive

Well I'm crashing, barely breathing
The feeling I've lost all control
On the driver's seat, but who's driving?
I'm sitting slowly losing my soul

You told me it would get better
Told me to give it some time.
Is it time enough now though,
Now that I'm bleeding out in rhyme

Flipping over and over again
While broken shards of memories lost
Burn through my bleeding brain.

Crashing and turning over again
While sounds of sirens drown me out
Driving me insane

Yet the impossible promises never stop
"You're going to be okay"
I'm gasping and drowning for air
While you're begging me to stay

So close to the end
And I never felt more alive
I just took a shortcut out
Of this never-ending drive

"...in a major accident..."
And the voices are drowned out by chimes
Because the only mistake I ever made
Was struggling to live all this time

So what's so bad about that?
I'l never see the finish line
But there was nothing waiting for me there anyway
Except a simple "dead end" sign

A poem I dug up from about a year ago but still gets my feelings right today
(Front page 4/15/17)

#struggling #accident #car #road #life #live #death #dying #broke #broken

1.2k · Jan 2017

Just Ripped Paper

Rebel Heart Jan 2017

Just Ripped Paper

If you're a pencil,
then I'm the paper,
We're perfect together,
but not forever.

Lean on me,
tell me your deepest lies.
Show me your true self,
what's under that disguise.

Spill your secrets,
Color me grey
Tear off my edges,
Mean what you want to say.

Fill me up
With your darkest thoughts.
Leave me stranded,
Alone in your room.
Let me down
With your fancy words,
And leave me to my doom.

I'll shrivel up over the ages.
With your secrets locked inside.
But you'll forget me and move on,
For the world I have died.

Because I existed
only for you
for your smiles
and the pictures you drew.
But I guess I was stupid
you never even knew
how much
I truly...
Loved You...

And now I'm just a forgotten broken sheet of endless memories with no purpose...

#broken #sad #depression #sadness #memories #you #paper #broke #ripped #heartbroke

1.1k · Aug 2017

I Want You..

Rebel Heart Aug 2017

I Want You..

How wrong it must be
For me to want you
For me to miss you
After all you did
Was break me down
And tear me to shreds

Yet after all that pain
I'd still give you
Whatever pieces are left
Of my heart
My body
And my soul

I'd give you
Everything
I have
Knowing
You'd give me
Nothing
At all

'No matter how much something breaks us it won't **** us.' Some of us still walk with broken hearts but we keep giving and loving. I can't thank this poetry community for everything it selflessly gives... Keep spreading the love (Front page 8/12/17)

#heartbreak #love #heart #soul #body #you #give #life #pain #us

1.1k · Mar 2018

Pieces of Her

Rebel Heart Mar 2018

Pieces of Her

...
And in that moment I realized
Her pieces shatter more quickly
Than she can glue them together
And in between the broken seconds
That her universe is in chaos
Those pieces of her soul
Break down to mere dust
And float away in the winds
Of what once was
Joined by the false notion
That her future could be brighter
If only
She gathered her pieces
A little faster.

(A long poem dedicated to a friend of RH's that passed Years ago. I never knew her personally but this write was absolutely too beautiful for pieces of it not to be shared. Happy Writing ~BM)

(Front Page 3/28/2018)

#piece #her #universe #break #dust #life #friend #depression #bright #lost

1.1k · Apr 2018

Things I Wish I Could Tell You Pt.04

Rebel Heart Apr 2018

Things I Wish I Could Tell You Pt.04

Is it wrong
To wish
That for all the scars I own,
I could reopen just one
To let my demons spill out
So as to cleanse myself
Of the torturing sins
I carry as a weight
Within my veins...
But Alas
That would do nothing
But let more darkness in
...

(Front Page 4/29/2018)

#demon #weight #sin #darkness #depression #broken #torture #nothing #life

1.1k · Jan 2018

3561 Miles- Reprise

Rebel Heart Jan 2018

3561 Miles- Reprise

A mystery
They called me
Wearing a million different faces
Wearing a million different smiles

A lost soul
They didn't see
3561 miles away from the one place I was half-real
3561 miles away from the one place I half-smiled

Mile 1
I'm drowning within myself
Slowly, silently, secretly
Constantly wandering
Trying to find that broken girl
Who never had a childhood
Trying to escape from the skeltons
Thrown in the depths of the closet
Long before I could even spell my name
Now 3561 miles away just to make sure they don't rise up again

Mile 147
I'm suffering in the hospital
There was always something wrong with me
I always deserved this pain
If only I could get rid of it myself
If only... If only...
If only
And so I tried.
Every time the darkness swelled up
And gripped my throat, i tried..
But they called me crazy
Not broken
Not hurt
Not upset
But crazy...
Crazy because i tried
Now 3561 miles from all those who labeled me insane

Mile 836
My fight with life and death
Because I forgot what living was
Long before I blew out 4 candles on a tiny cake...
Because death wouldn't embrace me
Death would torment me instead,
Cursing me to forever stay stuck living
Somewhere between the brink
Of life and death..
And so I finally took matters into my own hands...
Not sinfully but sensibly, the odds forever against my favor
But health is just relative and my body already a mess,
The brain I counted on slowly dying out
My future that once smiled upon me
Now nothing but a faded curse
Now 3561 miles away because I somehow survived
3561 miles away because I kept surviving

Mile 2451
Everyone was fed up with me
I was a burden living or dead
No place for me in either realm.
I breathed through the cracks of reality
And packed my bags to live in an illusion
So that life wouldn't catch up to me ever again
Now 3561 miles away and I can finally breathe again
3561 miles away yet no closer to living nor death

Mile 2915
I'm overthinking things through
Like all these loose ends, broken hearts, and you
Because nobody cares unless you're rich or dead
And I was both of those yet neither
And those who saw through that were but a few..
A living paradox was my life
Almost an adult, give it 6 more days
I'll never tell you but I'll be gone before that fated day
Your memory of me gone quicker than that
Because I left once before and I should've never come back
But I'm glad I did
Now 3561 miles away and I know you'll do better without me
3561 miles away you would've been better if I never came back

Mile 3428
I'd forget everything about my life
The demons I kept pushing down would resurface now and again
But only as whispers of ghosts still haunting bits of the past
There's so much I still don't remember and yet,
I'd never forget you and everyone else I left behind..
I'd always wonder what'd happen to you
I'd always wonder how fine is fine..
You say I should be tired of running away
Don't worry, this time I'll be gone for good
The name I wanted everyone to remember
Will disappear under the tides on the sand
Never to be brought up again but by ghosts
And when you're old and grey
And happy and free
Don't cry remembering me as someone who died too young
Because I was old, grey, and torn at the edges
Far before I became a ghost myself
Now 3561 miles away from anyone I ever was
3561 miles away from anyone I could ever be

Mile 3557
I realized you knew me too well
I'm regretting everything before it happens
Because there was never enough..
Never enough words to tell you everything I could
Never enough time to tell you everything to tell
The letters slip and get lost on the tip of my tongue
Because you thought I was stronger than this
But I've been falling apart since the beginning
Crumbling slowly under the pressure of it all
Crumbling under things I never told you
And things I couldn't burden you with
Now 3561 miles away with things that I'll bury with me
3561 miles away because forever is a fantasy

Mile 3561
This is it...
Or so you think
Where my old life and new life collide and blend
Where I can forget everything and move on...
Though we both know that's not true
Because these masks melt under the moonlight
And these smiles stay forgotten under the glimmering stars..
As strong as I want to be,
As many times I change my name,
I'll never be able to cover up these scars within..
I'll never be able to forget the few who’ve cared
(I can count them all on one hand)..
And I'll let you in on a little secret-
The countless nights that threatened me with my own life,
I'd breathe in the universe before it swallowed me whole
And breathe out as I count those names on my one hand
Over and over
And over again
Over and again till my mind found sanity
Over and again till the sun found a grip on the sky
Over and again till the darkness inside me crept back
Into the broken cracks in the edges of my mind..
So go ahead and tell me,
Tell me how I'll forget the memories we've made
I've lost a lot of them but not the important ones
Tell me how I'll find someone new
Nobody could ever replace you
Tell me how much you miss me
Along with everyone who seems to care
Because time will change and people come and go
We're merely shadows floating around with no purpose
We come into people's lives only to fade out to some other
But despite all that and everything else,
How could you ever think you didn't mean anything to me?..
Because now I'm 3561 miles away,
Tired, broken, fed up
I'm 3561 miles away
Shattered, crying, torn apart
I'm 3561 miles away
Stuck writing something
That'll never reach you-
At least until
I'm 25,300,000,000,000 miles away for good

My closest friends became my family but I guess I was just cursed with family issues forever because I lost them too..
Dedicated To the few people I consider better than family- I wish you knew how much this hurts- and to one of my best friends who was there when I started to think I'd never open up to anyone again and who wrote the original piece of this poem- you were always meant for better things.
This has probably already become too long but you know me I keep everything buried deep and when the world sleeps I finally find it in me to write out some of these useless emotions.
I wish I was better with communication but all my words were ever good for were closet poetry and songs written to never be played... words I spill onto the walls of my empty room in the back of my head that I re-paint over because I'm a mess and maybe I always will be but if I never see any of you guys again I'm sorry because you were the only ones who ever got a peek into that room I try to so desperately hide and accepted me for it all...
I'll always regret never knowing how to show how much I care

(RH just unlocked a whole new set of poetry that I just saw and I'm excited to be sharing all these newfound words to share with all of you guys. Most of these have pre-written messages and I don't intend to change a single word from anything written. It seems I might be permanently taking over this account for her but all work published will solely be hers. Thank you for all the support from everyone so far and happy writing! ~BM)

#life #death #soul #heart #family #friends #away #escape #childhood #wish

1.1k · May 2014

The Real Deal- Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven

Rebel Heart May 2014

The Real Deal- Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven

Once I met a man named Frank,
Then he renamed himself Poe,
He always enjoyed a good prank,
But that's what made me his foe.

For months I stood awaiting,
Months alone in my room,
Waiting, debating, and hating,
Till the fitting revenge began to bloom.

Then, once upon a midnight dreary,
I began to carry out my plan,
Fully knowing how Poe was weary,
But also knowing tis was the best day to get back on that treacherous man.

So I paint my parrot black,
And made sure it looked like a Raven,
Good thing my pet had a knack,
To turn my foes into a craven.

Telling my parrot (now a raven) "Nevermore",
I issue a simple command,
And leave it by Poe's door,
Thinking, "Oh, Poe's reaction shall be very grand!"

From the title, you could obviously tell what this poem is about. I wrote this some time ago for English Class. This teaches you to 1)Never play an extreme prank on someone that serious and 2)Get your facts right before you start talking to a Raven and thinking how you're gonna live a miserable life because it could be a prank. I know this is pretty stupid, but if you think about it, Poe never did tell us what happened to this man before "The Raven" so it's possible. ;)

#parody #raven #twist #edgarallenpoe #decieving

1.1k · Jul 2017

I'm Dreaming...

Rebel Heart Jul 2017

I'm Dreaming...

I'm dreaming of summer nights
And the sound of the ocean breeze
I'm dreaming of the blanket of stars
That'll watch over us out by the seas

I'm dreaming of your electric touch
As we make out by the campfire
I'm dreaming of your endless love
And the reckless nights full of desire

I'm dreaming of dreams
That keep me awake
I'm dreaming of fantasies
I never want to break

I'm dreaming of you
Though I knew it wouldn't last
You're nothing but a dream
Stuck in a summer past

An old poem I dug up from 2010.. Simple and worth sharing... On a different note I appreciate all the support this wonderful poetry community has given my friend, RH, and I can't wait for her to see how well her words are loved by all you wonderful people. Stay cool ~BM

#dream #you #fantasy #summer #night #sea #love #endless #dreaming #us

1.1k · Apr 2018

Broken Eyes

Rebel Heart Apr 2018

Broken Eyes

I think
I'm finally starting
To see myself
Through your eyes...
So is it bad
That all I see
Is a sad girl
Too broken
To give her heart away?

They say the eyes are the window to the soul.. so is it bad that all you see when you look into my eyes is the broken shell of what I once was?

(A short poem I found hidden away from when RH was only 9 years old and it's sad that I knew her back then as this amazing, always optimistic girl who was always always there for anyone who needed a cheering up and somehow that same happy girl wrote these kinds of poems hidden away in a journal. LOL when I was nine I could barely spell my teachers name and was used to writing and rewriting variations of "roses are red violets are blue... I love you" poems. Happy Writing ~BM)

(Front Page 4/25/2018)

#eye #broken #sad #girl #depression #heart #love #heartbreak #tired #life

1.1k · Jun 2014

Roses Are Red...(2)

Rebel Heart Jun 2014

Roses Are Red...(2)

Roses are red,
Here's something true,
Violets are violet,
They're not freakin blue!

Just because you hear everyone else saying or doing something doesn't mean it's right.

#truth #rebel

1.1k · Sep 2017

Victoria

Rebel Heart Sep 2017

Victoria

She stitches on
Her collection of plastic smiles
To contrast her sad old soul

For her beauty radiates
Youth and love
While her eyes betray
The demons put on hold

She wears the world's sorrows
As a dazzling gown
With her own monsters
Clasping her feet

Reminding her of the
Skeletons she carries
With every step to the beat

Her eyes swim with horrors
Of the nagging ghosts of the past
But tonight she dances gracefully
Across the floor of glass

And she'll save some words of conversation
For every suitor coming her way

Though all the while she's planning out
How to spill her own red
On her own wonderful gown of grey

To mark Rebel Heart's 100th official poem in this amazing poetry community here's something special: An excerpt of the poetry collection by RH called "The Mysterious Gown of Grey"... it tells a beautifully captivating tale I can't help but imagine being set during the Victorian era in London. This excerpt was part of the first poem of the collection titled 'The First Masked Ball" and follows the story of Victoria, my favorite 'character' in the whole collection...I hope she plans to publish the full poem in the future for it'd be a shame to keep the wonderful words and epic story locked in a word document forever. Until then happy writing ~BM

#grey #gown #demons #life #sad #depression #soul #heart #dance #smile

1.0k · May 2018

Things I Wish I Could Tell You Pt.07

Rebel Heart May 2018

Things I Wish I Could Tell You Pt.07

...
Because in between the notes
That hum a melody through my veins
I find the overbearing reality
Of the ghosts that scream out
In a rising soprano
So out-of-tune that I'm afraid
The pieces left of my heart
Will shatter into nothingness
And leave me empty
With no music to describe
The burden of these demons I carry
...
Most of all,
I'm afraid
To live in this void
Of infinite silence
That forever threatens
To swallow me whole

(Front Page 5/8/2018)

#music #demons #empty #life #forever #silence #hurt #void #ghosts #nothing

1.0k · Feb 2018

Broken Art

Rebel Heart Feb 2018

Broken Art

She always saw the best in those
Who were the worst for her heart
She let those in who didn't deserve
To see the broken pieces of her art

(An old gem from the infamous lyric wall because I'm too drained to post anything else.. Enjoy~ BM)

(Front Page 2/13/2018)

#broke #art #broken #lyric #music #piece #heart #love #heartbreak #best

974 · Feb 2018

Past Fades

Rebel Heart Feb 2018

Past Fades

The stars only rise
To fall when no one sees
The ones you miss
A lost echo in the breeze

The memories left
Like old jeans are frayed
The photographs you carry
A burden when they fade

(Another lyric wall quote ~BM)

(Front Page 2/14/2018)

#past #star #miss #fall #death #loss #love #life #tragic #fade

962 · May 2017

Weeping Stars

Rebel Heart May 2017

Weeping Stars

The angels weep silently,
As the stars fall into the night.
Signifying another life lost,
Into the mist, out of sight.

My star still burns,
Yet so dimly it might fall too.
For I'm not dead but am dying,
Fading out of what I once knew.

What purpose do I have?
Just a meaningless ball of gas.
Why should keep on burning?
If I'm just living like broken glass.

Stuck in the between
Of life and death and,
what matters most

Slowly weeping
For what I should've had,
could've had so close

From a shooting star
To a dying one
Just waiting to fall too

From a bright light
To a crying one
Just wanting to start anew

And as I gaze out to the mist
I see another one fall
The angels weeping silently
For the next one they call

953 · Dec 2016

Christmas Wish

Rebel Heart Dec 2016

Christmas Wish

December has come
And time has passed
Who knew without you
This long I'd last

It's weird to think
You won't be here
For Christmas was our
favorite time of the year

Gingerbread houses
and the Christmas trees
Snowball fights
and the cold, cold breeze...

And you won't be here
to save me from the cold
or to wrap me up tight
at night as we grow old

And you won't be here
to chase me around the room
To steal my chocolate cookies
or to escape on a broom

All the nonsense we did
all the jokes we had
are frozen in place
in the Christmas past

And as I set up this tree
and light it up too
I sit here wondering
what do I do

I always love the Holidays,
but I'm thinking of you.
Of all the smiles we shared
and the songs we knew.

And you should know,
I asked Santa for a gift
But I know I won't get it,
I know, I admit.

I even sent a letter
My wish, I couldn't buy,
I wished and I wished
I still had to try...

Because if there's one thing that I knew,
It's that Christmas
Wouldn't be Christmas
Without You

I always wish for you...

#love #heartbreak #sad #memories #tree #wish #you #miss #december #christmas

953 · Sep 2017

Shattered Strong

Rebel Heart Sep 2017

Shattered Strong

I may seem dangerous
Strong and brave
But I assure you
I break just as easily
As the rest of us
...

And I'll let you in on a secret

I'm already shattered

Far beyond repair
...
I have been this whole time.

#strong #life #brave #shatter #dangerous #mask #live #heart #depression

935 · Mar 2017

Broken Thoughts of A Heartbroken Clock

Rebel Heart Mar 2017

Broken Thoughts of A Heartbroken Clock

Settling back into the rhythm
Of our heart's beating rhyme
Hoping we can work again,
But something's off this time...

We were perfect for eachother
But that was before I was broken
Into little shards of nothingness
While my feelings were left unspoken...

Yet like a hero you came for me
To pick up my metallic remains.
To put me back together
And free me of these chains...

But sweetheart I wish you then knew
That paper that's wrinkled and ripped too
Can't be put back together by glue
And I'm a broken machine missing a *****...

Now every tick of the tock
And every beat of your heart
Just keeps reminding me that
We're closer to falling apart...

You thought you could save me
But I'm an unfixable machine
Now we're just clinging on to
Nothing but a hopeless dream...

Yet while you'll soon move on
And find a better fit
I'll shrivel up and die
Alone in this deep little pit...

Not finished but fragments of this came to me and I had to put it to words. Hopefully I'll go back and edit this soon. This poem really doesn't have much to do with a clock but every time I read through it I find more versions of what these words could mean in a metaphorical sense. I guess words are powerful and beautiful yet so broken in that way...

#broken #sad #heart #depressed #die #time #heartbroken #rhythm #broke #clockwork

933 · Feb 2017

Us

Rebel Heart Feb 2017

Us

You make my heart ache
clench, quiver, and sway
Break it into pieces
and watch it fade away.

Yet one look into your eyes
and I'd let you do it once more.
Hurt me over and over
and I'd still demand an encore.

But do you really love me?
Or are you just using me too?
Did "us" ever exist?
Or was I just hung up on you?

Because you swore to me
that one starry night
under the stars,
under the moonlight

That you'd never hurt me
and we were meant forever
But what if really
forever lasted for never?

Yet all these doubts
and questions in my mind
went away at your touch
and the stars realigned.

And I was stuck again
drowning deep in your eyes
weakening at your touch
as I let down my disguise

Because you were the only one
who ever saw the real me
and my heart still belongs to you
though everyone says it shouldn't be.

And you can call me stupid
for not being able to see
I meant nothing to you
But you meant everything to me...

Definitely needs to be edited and whatnot, but just wanted to get my thoughts down. (I'm working on a new book and the protagonist is a poet so this is something she 'wrote'). If anyone wants to recommend a better title, please comment.

#love #heartbreak #broken #sadness #hurt #you #never #us #forever #doubts

931 · Feb 2016

Running and Reliving

Rebel Heart Feb 2016

Running and Reliving

The faster I run
The faster these monsters keep
Catching up to me

And it feels like I'm
The only one reliving
My own tragedy

Part of a recent song I made turned into two haikus

#depression #life #haiku #demon #run #tragedy #problems #monsters