Time stopped frozen
Pain heavy in my chest
My heart in a sudden shock
My eyes holding back the tears

You said its over briefly
I'm left here thinking why
You left without a trace
While here I am trying to get by

Sitting in a bar every night
Drinking alcohol 'til come daylight
Sleeping alone in different motels
Since the bed you left at home feels cold

I can't eat nor sleep
Feeling limp and lifeless all over
My heart you took away
My soul wandering to where you might be

God, it hurts so much
Since she left me here standing
In a road leading to nowhere
My life in a permanent standstill

I don't want anything else
I just beg for your return
But even if I scream all my pleas
Would you even listen to me?

You were my morning sunshine
You are my evening storms
You are my sweetest tragedy
Your departure my biggest enigma

The hole you punctured in my heart
Grows emptier as the days go by
Tears falling down each passing midnight
Praying to see your face just one last time

I hope I could just do it over
Fall in love with you all over again
Making the right choices this time
Could you have stayed in my life?

God, I beg for your return
Welcoming me with arms wide open
Greeting me with passionate kisses
An embrace with no intention of letting go

I'd do anything just to have you back
Just to relive the days we were in love
When you were all I need in my life
Looking forward to seeing you smile

This love of ours was worth a lifetime
Yet that lifetime was snuffed out in a instant
I don't think I'll get over you, now or ever
Here I am waiting for my clock to start ticking again

The tensions spiking high
Emotions running wild
As we stare in each other's eyes
Anticipating each other's moves

I'm sinking hard and deep
Into those hypnotic brown eyes
My heartbeats jumping intensely
As I try to hold on to my sanity

Steadily reaching breaking point
As we try to maintain control
Quickly loosing this battle
As Desire makes way to the surface

Like floodgates on release
Lust overwhelming our senses
Like dangerous animals on rampage
All over each other's bodies

My senses in overdrive
As I give in to the rush
My hands moving independently
As it explores every inch of you

Kisses feel like wild fire
Melting my brains on the inside
******* my lips vigorously
Making me want even more

I can't even stop to think
My mind going blank and haywire
Your every kiss proving not enough
As I strip away every clothing from you

The panting grows heavier
As we explore each other's wild sides
Like wandering travelers
Seeking each other's secrets

Soft moans growing louder
As I kiss between your thighs
Slowly welcoming each caress
Like a secret being gradually revealed

Sweet nectar overflowing
As I go deep within your being
Your hands pulling my hair
Guiding me to where you want me

Give in to the pleasure
As I caress you sweetly
Stay still and don't resist
Let's make this love feel incredible

Just give in to my every touch
As I gave in to each of yours
Let's make sweet love, dearest
Let the wanton lust be unleashed

Bodies colliding uncontrollably
Kisses increasing in intensity
Instincts shifting to reach ******
This carnal union showing no mercy

The sweet moaning music to me
As I ****** my all deep into you
Your teeth sinking into my lips
As we reach the end of this torrid encounter

Finally reaching the heaven we seek
Leaving us wasted and exhausted
Yet as your body rests on mine
It makes me want you even more

More of this incredible love
More of this uncontrollable lust
More of this wanton desires
Ultimately, more of your body
And more of you

This wanderlust of mine
Wanting to explore more of you
Remains unquenched and desiring
To see more of the untouched you

This is it
The end of the line
This is us
At our last goodbye

Its been fun
Its been wild
This roller coaster ride
Of being in each other's lives

I felt the pain
I felt the pleasure
I've seen all the colors
And even all the gloom

We had flown to the highest heaven
Yet had fallen to the deepest hell
We used to hold each other tight
But have now drifted far apart

I'm not good at goodbyes
I guess you aren't too
'Cause even when we're far apart
You still miss me, and I, you

But now here I am bleeding out
Pulling my legs away from you
Pushing your hands away from me
Realizing a truth that brings pain to me

Love is not always the answer
That our thirsty hearts must seek
'Cause even if we are desperate for it
Its not always what we need

A final kiss to seal the deal
A last embrace just for one final feel
So long, dear love, the one my life seeks
But the love that wasn't supposed to be what it needs

Running through the midnight
Against every nightmare
Reaching for the sunlight
Against all the odds

23 years of Grace
23 years of Love
23 years of Struggles
23 years of Madness
23 years of Sadness
23 years of Joy
23 years of Life

Though this life is young
And this journey is just beginning
23 years have passed
And yet I still live
Still seeking my purpose
Still seeking my place
I still tread on
With gratitude in my heart
And courage for everyday
I pray for 23 years and more
In this colorful life of mine
As I paint a masterpiece
That would last a lifetime

This is a deadly game
This is a poisonous gamble
This is unwarranted passion
This is crazy obsession

And yet you choose me
Amidst all that chaos within me
That hurts you when it shows
Amidst all my flaws you love me

You are a bright flame
Warm and passionate
Fierce and boisterous
A raging beacon of beauty in the darkness

I am that darkness
Cold and unmoving
Dead and restrained
A chaotic enigma hidden in your shadows

I am around you
But I cannot touch you
And yet you shine for me
You choose to love me

No matter how much we try
No matter what we do
Light can never banish the darkness
And darkness can never touch the light

But here you are
Loving the darkness in me
Because you exist to need me
Because light must shine amidst the dark
And darkness must help the light shine

An odd combination
The two of us
And yet you're in love with me
And I with you
They may say its wrong
But who the hell cares
Because I feel its right
Even if we are never alike

My legs feel heavy
My muscles stiff
My eyes looking bleak
My heart barely beating

God I feel so tired
Every day has been a cycle
Walking in the same pace
As everybody else in this world

I need a break
An adrenaline rush
That makes me feel
Life is worth living

I need a change in pacing
I have to get over this phase
Gotta wake up and slap my face
And get out of this stressful daze

God I feel so burned out
The embers in my youth
Slowly dying out
I may cease to function soon

Stop
Re-assess your life
Are you sure you're in the right path?
What if you're not?
Stop

Look
Look for what's better
Do you think it will make you happy?
And if it doesn't?
Look

Listen
To the beat of your heart
If it feels wrong why continue further?
And if its all wasted?
Listen

Rise
Up when you fall down
There's no other way to continue it all
Because everything will be fine
If you only
Rise

As snowflakes fell
You made your way towards me
You were glowing under
The silver rays of moonlight
Running towards me
As I stood still
Left breathless and steady
As you catch me in your embrace

I know I can't resist
I know you'll never let me
No matter how much
We remind ourselves that
This relationship is so wrong
I guess we just can't
Help being in love with
Each other's psychotic tendencies

If you only knew about
The war raging inside me
This conflict that slowly kills me
Whenever I confront this truth
That no matter how much
We try to adjust things
We were never even made
For each other in the first place

You clung to me tightly
Never wanting to let go
Tears falling down your face
Irresistible even in your saddest phase
I'm on the edge with you
Desiring you more than ever
Even when the world tells me
That we're totally bad for each other

You sink your nails on my arms
Hastily pulling my face to yours
Kissing me viciously sweet
Like the sweetest poison for me
And even when it hurts
Even when it makes me go insane
Even when I know its all lustful wanting
Everything you do to me feels so right

Tonight is a dangerous night
Lust hides beneath the passion
Love blurred by wanton desire
And yet I still want you to stay
The violent beasts that we truly are
Waiting to surface and be unleashed
As bodies dripping in cold sweat
Collide in a destructive union

You are my sweetest poison
You are my deadliest desire
No matter how much they say otherwise
You are the one I wrongfully chose

Rays of sunlight shining dimly at dawn
Slowly illuminating the fading night sky
Stars becoming invisible as morning comes
As cirrus clouds streak the early morning skies

Morning traffic jams slowly building up
Quiet streets waking up with blaring car horns
Sidewalks brimming with people in transit
As the sleeping city slowly comes to life

Amidst all that chaotic, monotonous cycle
I find myself gazing at your sleeping face
Listening to your soft, gentle breathing
Entangled cozily in my embrace

Your tranquil snoring feels like music to my ears
Your calm face etched in my most beautiful memories
My hands can't stop from touching your gentle cheeks
As I contemplate if should I kiss your lips good morning

I just want to stay under these soft bed sheets
Staying with you here,  entrenched in your soothing warmth
Pretending to be asleep, waiting for your morning kisses
While pulling you back from the cold to my greedy, wanting arms

These are the mornings I want to wake up to
These are the mornings that I pray for everyday
Dear God, please don't let her wake up yet
Let me just stay and stare at this small piece of heaven

I've prayed for you for a very long time
And in my search I may have been unfair to you
I may have done these with other people before
But this time, I know, nothing beats these mornings with you

So I'm sorry
If I didn't wait before
I'm sorry
If I never stayed faithful
I'm sorry
If I was in a wasteful haste
I'm sorry
If you were never my firsts

But now
I thank God for leading me to you
Now
I thank God for staying faithful
Now
I thank God for His mysterious ways
Now
I thank you, for waiting to be my last

These are the mornings that I want to wake up to
These are the mornings that I wanna live for
So please, If time can just stop for a few more minutes
I just want to savor how blessed I am to be with you

I love you with all my heart
I love you with all my soul
Stay in my arms, let's leave the world be itself
Sleep in my bed, let's stay here for a little more time

The gods have fallen
From high up their mighty seats
From their regal and majestic thrones
Fallen down to human ground

The gods have fallen
Olympus crumbles down
As corruption takes over
Bending all the rules around

The gods have fallen
Their humanity ultimately showing
How easily they can give in
To the whispers of a madman

The gods have fallen
They have played puppets
To the machinations
Of an ambitious despot

The gods are dead
Lady Justice stabbed in the back
By her own magistrates
Scheming with unworthy tyrants

The gods are dead
And their supremacy extinguished
Now kissing the feet of one man
Whose hands are blotched by injustice and ******

The Court has fallen
Its gods are dead
The country bitterly weeps
Afraid of what happens next

Oh Pearl of the Orient Seas
Your gods who uphold your laws
Have succumbed to their humanity
Rise up and fight against the impartiality
Bring life to Lady Justice again
Restore the Cloth of Impartiality on her eyes
Return to her the Sword and Scales
That they have taken away from her
Or else the future of your youth
Will remain ever bleak and vague

It's 4:30am
And here I am
Wide awake
Eyes bloodshot
My thoughts a mess
My heart more so
Consumed by loneliness
I'm feeling helpless

The problem is
I don't know why
This sadness eats me away
All I know is that
I'm upset over life
I don't know why
My heart is aching
My brain exploding

Am I anxious?
Am I depressed?
If so, why?
The world is filled
With everything real
With the beautiful
And the contrary
Why waste my time on abstract sadness?

But here I am
In a state of despair
Feeling like all hope
Is gone from my life
I need help
I need friends
I need motivation
I need to get out of here

But they're not here
They're nowhere to be seen
My thoughts twisting
By each second passing
My pulse slowing down
My limbs feeling numb
What should I do
To get out of this pit?

I'm dying inside
The void in my heart
Has consumed me completely
My sanity slipping away
From the twists in my brain
Tell me what should I do
And how should I move
From here

Help..

People come and go
That's how Life is
Everyday is a chance to meet
Or maybe not

Even so, people come
Some like the stars in the night
Twinkling and flickering
Under the blackness of the void
Shining a bit of light
That once you see
You may forget
They number a lot
Just passing through
Like cars in a highway
Suddenly gone so fast
And then you just forget

But some come
And suddenly decide to stay
Shining slowly like dawn
Then brightly like midday
Completely lighting up
The dark and dreadful nightlife
Someone that acts
As a beam of light
That takes your breath away
And you can't be without
Staying in your mind
And in your heart
Affecting your whole life
For the rest of time

But even suns can burn out
They may be hot to touch
Some may even hurt you
Or even destroy you completely
And reduce you to nothingness
Once they go supernova
So sometimes it may sound
Even better if
They stayed far away
And had never met you at all
Because after all
Suns are just stars
You're just in their zone
Either their zone of life
Or zone of destruction

Hope you made the right choice..

It took me just one moment
One exposure of vulnerability
To make me realize that all this time
All these years and months
These days and hours
These minutes and seconds
Of being by your side
Will lead my life to
Falling in love with you

I may have felt it before
Wondering your taste
Your thoughts
And how well they synchronized
With my own tastes
That would've been so perfect
I may have been madly in love
With you from the start
I just didn't know what to call it

You've been with me all this time
But your heart, it still eludes me
How could you be so distant
Being inches apart from me?
Who is he that makes you cry?
Who visits your nightmares every night?
Whose name clings to your very lips?
Who sets aside what I've been yearning for?
Who is he? Who blinds you from seeing me?

Why him? Who toys with your emotions?
When it can be me, who truly understands you?
Why him? When he doesn't give a **** about you?
Whereas my world revolves around you?
Why can't he see what he's wasting?
While here I am waste my time praying?
Praying to be yours no matter what it takes
Even if when you're with him every inch of me aches
Is someone even listening to my every plea?

I have watched you all of my life
I've watched you grow gracefully in spring
Growing stronger and fiercer
I've endured your ferocious glow in the summer
And when reason hits you hard
I've seen you wane sheepishly in the fall
And when you broke your fragile heart
I've seen you wither helplessly in the winter

But even so, I secretly desired your crying heart
No matter how broken and scattered it became
All I want for you is a slice of true happiness
All I want is for you to wear an endless smile
Feeling joy in your beautifully-crafted life
Even if not in the comfort of my wanting arms
Even if your gaze fixes on another man
And I could only remain as a trusted friend

So please, dear Lord, if not for my wretched self
Please protect her loving smile and pure heart
That she may find the happiness that she deserves
In exchange for the happiness she shared to the undeserving me

If only she could turn to me..

When our eyes met
Time slowed down
Heart beating fast
Lips glued together
A rush of emotions
Sweeping me away
My mind totally blank
Everything felt surreal

Everything felt so right
The moment is just perfect
And the future flashed
Before my clairvoyant eyes
With you lying in my arms
Clutched in my embrace
Lips pressed on mine
Madly and deeply in love

All it takes
To make it all real
Is to muster all my courage
And gather all my strength
Just to utter a single
"Hi"

Here I go..

Lying on this bed
With you sleeping in my arms
On a quiet dawn

People often ask
If dreams do come true
If fantasies become reality
If love comes to the loveless
I can’t help but feel
That the dreams that I dream
And the fantasies that I have
Stands before me right now

I tried to stop it
These budding emotions
I tried to deny it
The truth being unveiled
I tried to fight it
The gravity pulling me towards you
But I can’t help it
Falling in love, deeply with you

The world told me it’s wrong
The world told me to move along
The world told me you’re not worthy
And that the wait will **** me
But there I prayed
And waited for the day
When you can stay by my side
In all my days and all my nights

It’s you who keeps me falling
Pulling me closer to your core
Your gravity inescapable for me
As I live under your various colors
It’s you whom I choose
The one destined by fate
To be the love that makes me feel alive
To make me see the beauty of life

You make the wrong feel right
You make the worst feel alright
No matter where I may go
Your love follows me
Even through all that melancholy
That Life brought to me
You made all the sadness that I felt
A worthy sacrifice for what came next

It’s you who brings me light
Even in the darkest of nights
It’s your smile that gives me strength
To overcome the barriers of life
How blessed am I to be yours
To be within your warm embrace
How thrilled am I to fall deeper in love
With each smile and frown you display

I long to stay in your embrace
Because in you I find my comfort
I long to be yours for all my life
To be the sweetest reality of your life
As you are to mine
And in all the twists and turns
That life brings to us
I’ll never let go and I’ll always say

I love you
With all my heart
No matter what surprise Life brings
You’re the only right thing
In my wretched life
And if I have to choose
All over again
It will always be you

Until when will I wait?
Until when will I suffer?
Until when will I long?
Until when will I seek?

Until when should I lock myself up?
Until when will I long for the warmth?
Until when should I feel dead inside?
Until when should I walk alone in this life?

Until when should my heart be hard as stone?
Until when do I have to wait for someone to chisel it?
Until when will the winter of my life last?
Until when do I stay just to see you at last?

Until when do I have to suffer lonely nights?
Until when will I wake up in a cold, empty bed?
Until when will I feel anxious about a single's lifetime?
Until when will I fear connecting to someone else's life?

Until when do we have to wait?
Until when do we have to suffer?
Until when 'til I see your face?
Until when 'til I hold your hands?

Until when do I just see you in my dreams?
Until when 'til I see you in my reality?
Until when 'til we finally meet?
Until when 'til we passionately love?

Until when will I be alone?
Until when will I be isolated?
Until when will my emotions be suppressed?
Until when 'til I finally bask in your embrace?

I am stuck here..

Waiting for you..

Are you stuck somewhere else too?

If so, then tell me how to find you..

And if Fate blesses this search..

If the gods open the path which leads to you..

I'll never ever let go of you..

So tell me..

Until when 'til I find you?

My life in shades of gray
Of black and of white
This heart just pumping blood
No adrenaline nor thrill in life
No color in this stagnant art
No purpose in this senseless wandering
Switching destinations on a whim
Seeking warmth from those without it

Eyes grow souless
With each passing day
Mind feels wistful
With each passing thought
The youthful passion
Fading into nothingness
The fiery emotions
Slowly burning out

The enthusiasm of a young man
Crushed in the grip of reality
The loveless heart
Growing tired and weary
Everything feels cold
A long and harsh winter
In a young and untested life
A struggle just to feel alive

I am tired
I am weary
A stagnant pond
Seeking a ripple in my life
A chance to feel
And to turn my life around
From the gloomy colors of grey
Black and white
To a masterpiece of thrill
Of passion
Of love
And warmth
As colorful
As a kaleidoscope
With all these emotions
Flooding out
Trinkling down
Flowing and moving
Like a flooded stream
Connecting to people
Linking to hearts
No longer stuck here
No longer alone
Together with others
Just feeling alive
Just embracing Life

Take my hand
Let's take the plunge
Let go of the fears
Get rid of the anxieties
Just take the risk
Just once in your life
I'm with you to the end
Just hold my hand

What started out
As a swipe at chance
As a gamble of hearts
As a game of fears
And a reckless risk
May turn out to be
The greatest adventure
In our young, hopeless lives

Eyes on me
Oh dearest sweet
My eyes on you
For all this time
My heart for you
No matter what
My love is yours
Until the end of our lives

I was made for you
And you for me
Even if I burn in your passion
And you stung by my thorns
I am yours
And you are mine
To love and keep
'Til our days are numbered

As we grow old and gray
And wrinkles streak on our faces
I may forget you in my mind
But always you will stay in my heart
And 'til our adventure comes to a close
Even if hell freezes over
My love for you stays
Immortalized in my heart

I am yours forever
And you are mine
I was made for you
And you for me
I'll stay with you 'til the end
Until the day I hold my last breath

Did you ever have that one great love,
That no matter how long since it ended,
No matter how much the sceneries changed,
No matter how many slept on your bed,
And spent with you the most happiest times,
No matter how much kisses they gave you,
And no matter how much you spent your life with them

They can't ever replace nor fill up that vacuum in your heart
That you gained when that one great love left?

That no matter how much you try to move on,
You spent a large chunk of your life
Just trying to get over her?

That no matter how much the others say 'I love you',
It still feels entirely different when she said them to you?

That no matter how much you try to look for someone else,
You can't just help it and end up missing her badly?

That no matter how much you try to be happy in life,
The grief and memories in your heart outweighs it all?

That whenever you try to meet someone new,
You can't help but seek her person in those other people?

That in every failed relationship you have
You always think about what would have been with her?

I have..

And I'm still trying to get over her,
Years after she left.

The happiness she now has equates to the misery I felt all those years of missing her..

I'll move on..

Eventually..

Probably..?

I just don't know when..

The pavement was drenched by that long, August rain
As jeepneys swerved by and people were rushing
Under a small umbrella we hurried to catch the train,
As the wind grew colder and harsher that evening.

As we walked towards the station our hands glued tight
Those small, soft hands that laced around mine
And even though you kept ranting about that terrible night
It became an unforgettable memory  in this heart of mine

That short train ride probably felt like the shortest ever
As if time flew quickly and you suddenly said your goodbye
Leaving me to travel alone pondering about the feelings at play
And it struck, that sudden realization, that left me to my sighs

These growing emotions kept growing, keeping me up at night
Heart beats uncontrolled and erratic whenever you come around
It annoys me that in your smile I find unending delight
And in my love struck mind your voice sweetly resounds

Each and every day I tried to avoid confronting them
You see me as a friend, so its a no, a big taboo
But a heart never ceases to yearn, no matter how you stop it
And in my case, I seek only to be loved by you

How everything would go, how far these emotions may take me
I can only watch from here, hoping and praying it will go my way
But as he comes along, your eyes set on him, it won't be easy
The only assurance I hold on to is that you would choose to stay

I'll try to assure myself with those calming, bewitching eyes
And I guess I'll hold on to your sweetest, merriest smile
Even if in truth, I deceive myself with those sweet, yet deadly lies
And that my fantasies and reality might never get reconciled

Love is a strange yet complicated feeling
When you yearn what's not yours, every fiber in you rebels
Even when you sacrifice your all and give up everything
The ones nearest to your heart, sting like pins and needles

But it also gives wisdom, helping young hearts grow
Love teaches vigilance even when everything hurts
It leaves us questioning, yet giving what we need most to know
That it is unquenchable passion and sacrifice for everything it's worth

So, here I stand, waiting for the next train to stop by,
heading to destinations unknown, meeting the strangest people
hoping that someday I'll meet you somewhere under a raining sky
Not as friends, but as lovers, perfectly-suited, yet an imperfectly human couple.

(February 12, 2015, 2:21am)

I've been treading this life
One step at a time
Drifting with its flow
Taking me to where it goes
Slowly counting days go by
Wandering here and there
Seeing the world in all its beauty
Seeking a home for my soul

I've seen a lot of these
I've heard a lot of those
I've been gone to places
I only used to dream about
And yet as all of the world
Is within my very reach
Why does this young heart
Feel so empty and weary?

Here I am at a crossroads
Stuck at where Life took me
Where should I really be?
Am I even meant to stay?
Or should I just run away?
But If I run and flee again
I'm meant to stay alone
And then I suddenly realized

I want love
I need it so
As bad as oxygen
As precious as gold
Someone to hold tight
'Til my days grow old
Someone that ignites my fiery passion
And gently calms my mellow soul

A companion in this lonely road
And someone to drift with
Looking for the perfect home
Waiting still at this crossroad
Where could she be right now?
What does she do with her life?
Could she be stuck at another road
Or could she also be waiting for me?

I miss her
I long for her
I love her
Even though she's not here yet
I haven't seen her face
Nor touched her hands
Our paths haven't crossed yet
And yet she affects me greatly

Hurry it up, sweet destiny
Bring me to her
Let me flow to the path
That leads to her side
Let me gaze upon her serene face
That eludes me even in my dreams
Hurry it up, sweet destiny
Though I wait patiently, I'm losing myself

I know she longs for me as well
I know she's gonna love me like hell
And when our roads finally meet
She'll hug me tight and kiss me sweet
So please remove the veil that hides
Open the path to her loving arms
Because no matter how hard it is
No matter how long it will take
Whatever hardships I face along the way
She's definitely the home that's worth the wait

Its always been the same old story everyday,
The looping routine like movie scenes on replay,
Everything feels bland, dull and uninteresting,
God, I just wish for a change so thrilling.

It's always the same mistake
In every second, every minute actions I make
Everything has been controlled by anxiety
I wondered, when will my fears vanish and make things confidently.

This solitary life is a mess I want to flee
To leave it all behind, someone please take me
I'm left standing at a crossroads, waiting for that twist
Regardless of how long, for someone I don't want to miss

But seems I was blinded coz I can't see the light,
Or was I just looking for someone without noticing my might?
Standing in the rainy plains where the sky is gloom,
While hoping for someone to reach my hand in a place where I could be doomed

I hope to find you soon, pull you out of that dreaded fate
I'll be the one to quench your thirst, I hope I'm not too late
Someday we'll be together proud shouting each others names
And feels euphoria that we found each other in flames

This world is twisted
That's a proven fact
No need to elaborate
Just listen to the news
Watch internet content
Listen to today's music
Where everything is sexualized
Killing people almost everyday
Almost like its a sport
Governments in disarray
Corruption every possible way
War is a daily event
Where people die by the hundreds
And those who cling to power
Comfortable with their lives
While people die for lost causes
Everything feels tiring
Everyday feels dreadful
Fear rules the hearts
Anxiety becomes a plague

I've had enough of this world
Enough of this life
When will things change?
When will people live
Without prejudice or fear
Without hate or suffering
With respect and love
With tolerance and balance
Without lust for power
Without insatiable greed
When will that day come
When all the world
Dreams together
For a brighter future
And just lived in harmony?

Enough
I'm done
I've had it
I don't care anymore
I'm sick of it all
I quit

Stay with me tonight
Lying down on the sand
While waves come and go
And the evening winds blow
The moon looking bright
And the stars blanketing the sky
The bonfire crackling slowly
Bringing warmth to our bodies
While you and I remain
Tangled in an embrace
Stealing kisses in between
You within my loving arms
Looking so precious to me
With your eyes twinkling
From the light of the dancing fires
And as you look up
It reflects the vast starry sky
Like a window to another plane
Another universe within you
It gets my mind thinking
How I want to know
Every single fact about you
Every single truth you know
And how I came to fall for you

I want you
To stay in my embrace
To kiss me gently
As I crave for more of you
In a cool tropical night
Drunk with each other's desire
Like its our last night together
Drowned in your beauty
Which turns me into a beast
As the night grows torrid
And my brain feels melted
From being touched by you
I want my every day
And every night
In this place
And at this time
With no worries
Just with you
Just like this
For the rest of our lives

I pulled it..

I pulled the trigger
Of the gun pointed at my head
The bullet racing each millisecond
To blow my brain to smithereens
With my whole life flashing before
My bloodshot, insane eyes
Reliving each moment of this
****** up excuse of a life

There it was
That stinging depression
That started small
And grew in my weary heart
Slowly eating me each day
Growing darker and more sinister
As each problem came
Tearing my sanity away

Leading me to this very moment
Where I choose to run away
And leave this mediocre life
To rot and decay on its own
To be finally in peace
So that all that loneliness
Won't ever touch my heart
And will be free from my soul

And yet..

I began to remember the love
My family and friends gave me
How they stayed by my side
Never abandoning me
As I was loosing hope
They held on to me
Tried to keep me sane
Supporting me through it all

How cowardly of me
To suddenly let them go
To throw away this one and only
Life given and lived by me
But I guess its for the best
I guess its time to rest
I'll never see them again
They'll just forget me anyway

..Will they?

The happy moments came flashing by
The many times I genuinely smiled
Truly laughed and felt at ease
Those moments sweet to cherish
Was I this happy before?
Before everything else came crumbling?
Before I succumbed to the voices in my head?
Before I ended up at this very moment?

I don't want this..

Last moments of feeling the regret
I don't want to end this life
I just wanted to regain the happiness
The happiness taken and removed
By this consuming condition
This unforgiving depression
That ills my every cell
And has now completely taken all of me

I could've just lived my life
But no, I took it on my own
In any moment now I'll leave this world
Never to be seen again
No more new opportunities
To better my life and move on
To fight this psychological battle
That has taken hold of my entirety

And then it hit me..

I DIDN'T WANT TO DIE!
I DIDN'T WANT TO **** MYSELF
HOW DID I END UP IN THIS SITUATION?!
SOMEONE SAVE ME!
ITS COMING FOR ME!
THE SMELL OF GUNPOWDER ENTERING MY NOSTRILS
IT SCARES ME!
****! WHAT DO I DO?!
THE BULLET NEARING MY SKULL
I CAN HEAR IT CLOSING IN!
SAVE ME PLEASE!
I DON'T WANT TO DIE YET!
I WANNA LIVE!!

The pain stings..

My head feels light
My consciousness fleeting
As I fall to the ground
I could see the massive bleeding
I can't hear a thing
The silence is deafening
My vision went black
And then everything just went
Blank

...

..I shouldn't have pulled it

Wake up the dormant emotions
That sleep within my tired soul
Stir these feelings long dead
Let me desire you with wanton lust

Your heavy breathing fill my lungs
As you embrace me with sweet warmth
While the night grows colder by the minute
Make me adore you, make me want you more

Let me dive further and deeper
In those eyes deprived of innocence
Fill the empty bedsheets
Of this cold and lonely bed

Ease my fears of solitude
With those gentle and sacred kisses
As my hands trace every inch you
And my heart fixated on all of you

Don't leave me just for tonight
Since I fear I'm dying inside
Erase these hints of depression
That latched themselves on me

Hold me close and don't let go
Let me drown in your presence
Sink me deep into your pleasure
Leave me addicted to your body

Wake me up alive
And make me breathe heavily
Like making love to you
Is the last thing I'll ever do

Don't let me forget
And don't make me regret
How you roll on my bed every night
And rearranging my life upside down

Let me make love to you tonight
As soon as the sun sets down the horizon
Feed my growing lust for you every night
Until dawn breaks and morning comes again

Trivial things
That make heartbeats sting
That break emotional barriers
And open pathways
To the one who holds
You by her hand
And makes living this life
Fun and exciting

Small things
That create meaningful impacts
That reveal what is hidden
That symbolize affections
Neutralizing negativity
And showing real sincerity
In front of the girl
That turns your world around

Beautiful things
That represent the sweet
Yet thorny twists
Of what real love is
And that through the thicks
And through the thins of life
Total Love and Devotion
Defies all odds and obstacles

You come and you go
Leaving and then returning
Like the wild, free wind

You comfort my heart
Then take it away with you
Like a thief at night

I can't remember the last time
I felt the sunlight kissed my cheeks
Feel the wind whisper in my ears
Breathe sweet fresh air in my lungs
Bask in the glory of the sunlight
And feel its warmth and light
Its rays that nurtures my life
And its warmth caressing my soul

I've been caged and left alone
Imprisoned in the cold depression
Left hopeless and chained to anxieties
To wallow in loneliness detached from reality
The weight of sadness impossible to bear
The isolation eating away all my sanity
Save me from this dreaded fate
Remove my curse and free me

Looking far out from this cell
Into the horizon beyond my reach
There you were, a small drop of sunlight
Glistening in the meadows
Prancing happily through the hills
As carefree as the howling winds
A bright and cheerful light
Which made me felt at ease

Every day you passed by
Unknowingly shining your rays on me
Infecting me with your jolly personality
Bringing hope to the hopeless me
Every day you set as well
Leaving me to the freezing night
But even the cold punishing winds
Can't take away the warm hope you left me with

It gave me the courage to take a leap
Break all my chains and destroy my walls
To stand up at the highest point of this life
And let gravity take hold of me completely
As I start to take that once in a lifetime chance
To fly to you and reach the heaven where you reside
Armed only with mustered up courage
And strengthened will

Heartbeats racing wildly
Reaching for that warm, bright place
The place beside your presence
Hidden in that highest heaven
But as I got too close
Both courage and will melted away
And instead of falling in your arms
I plunged back to that unforgiving reality

I guess I'm never meant for the warmth
That only emanates from your soul
I guess I tempted the Fates too much
They had to cut that thread which led to you
And as I plunged hard into the sea of despair
I could only look at you from afar
While I sink back to this morbid reality
That I shouldn't want what I could never have.

I once surrounded myself
With emotional walls and checks
Hiding behind my insecurities
Shielding myself from all responsibility

It came to a point when
It grew completely out of control
It left me isolated in my own world
It left me disconnected from reality

But then you came
You
Who went in with a wrecking ball
Smashing all those stone and iron walls
Peeling layer by layer of me
Leaving me exposed to vulnerability

For the first time in my life
A whole new world opened for me
You took my hand by surprise
And led me out of my cage
You removed all my shackles
Destroyed all my chains
You flipped my world upside down
And loved me in all my nakedness

You
Whose love showed me a new paradise
By leading me out of my comfort zone
Who made my heartbeats go wild
And boosts my adrenaline every single second of my life

You
You are the sunshine
To my cold life
The weakness in my veins
And the strength in my muscles
You are the air in my lungs
The reason I wake up each morning
The reason I sleep soundly at night
The courage in my heart
And the reason in my mind
You are a whole new world for me
Whom I want to share my own world with too
You are the world that I never knew
And the world that I want to keep on exploring every single second of the day

I love you

Help me I'm falling
Closing in to your heart
Bewitched by your charms
Chasing you in my dreams

I'm in a freefall
Diving to your core
Caught by your gravity
Bracing for impact

No brakes this time
Falling a hundred miles per hour
Faster than the speed of sound
Momentum too strong

I want more by the second
More of your girlish charms
More of your gleaming smiles
and your piercing eyes

I'm in a free fall
Diving into more of you
Closing in on your core
Trying to make you mine

I know its wrong
I know I stand no chance
But every time I close my eyes
Your face replays on my mind

And I can't help but dream
Dreaming of holding you in my arms
So even though they say its wrong
It feels more than right for me

They tell me to go somewhere else
But my compass leads me to you
No matter who they choose for me
I still want to be yours and choose you

Like a child on the run
Going to where he desires
I can't help but want to fall
Fall for someone who makes me smile

Help me I'm falling
Falling for the dreams of my heart
Let me make the dreams of yours
A reality we both play a part

Come with me
Take my hand
And take a leap
Into my arms
And drift with me
To uncertainty
To hell with this life
Which only shed your tears
And escape the worries

Just come here
And stay with me
As long as I'm with you
And you're with me
I'll be content
And be happy
Because only you
Can sustain me
Only your love
Matters to me
So come
Escape with me

Time froze
As your eyes met mine
Gravity felt heavier
As I moved towards you
Chest about to burst
When I heard that innocent laugh
Heart in palpitations
As you made your way to me

You are a natural head turner
I could feel their jealous stares
As a bright star like you
Heads on a collision course towards me
My heart almost jumping out
With every little step you take
My throat dried of words
As I tried to talk to you

As the conversations grew deeper
And the night grew more intimate
You took me by surprise
When you held my sweating palms
I knew where this was heading
And little by little the anticipation fades
As reality unfolds what happens next
Then and there I took the chance

My mind was melting
When your soft lips touched mine
My brain went haywire
When you pulled me even more
My lungs felt breathless
When I pulled you in for a second time
You suprised me even further
When you whispered what happens next

You took me by the hand
As we walked in the hallway
Giggling childishly
As we opened the door to your room
My mind went blank
As you took me to your bed
Every muscle in overdrive
As you pulled me down towards you

You guided my hands
As I took off your every clothing
You gently caressed my head
As I kissed from point to point
Sweetly kissing every inch of you
Made my heartbeats erratic
Wanting even more of you
Loving every taste of you

I can't stop myself
From getting addicted to you
As you gave me your all
And I gave you mine
Bodies colliding and sweaty
Making love in this dimly lit room
Thrusting my everything into you
Like its the last night of our lives

Your every movement
Sending shivers down my spine
Your heavy breathing
Raising the hairs on my nape
Your honest moans
Felt like music to my ears
Your warm and wet kisses
Sending me into paradise

Tangled in your arms
As we try to reach the end
The innocence slowly fading
As the encounter grew more intense
Your kisses becomes wilder
Almost leaving me suffocating
Bodies becoming more synchronized
As the ****** comes to pass

Dawn illuminates the room
As I ponder last night's memories
With you sleeping under the messy sheets
Your petite body resting on top of me
God I wish to never forget
That once in a lifetime chance
That crazy one night romance
That wild girl who took my heart with her

I knew this was a one time thing
I knew this was only a physical love
And yet I still want to take a chance
To jump and take a leap of fate
To give in to my pleasures and desires
To love viciously and decide on my own
To fall in love regardless of how I met her
To cherish her for the rest of my life

I can't let this chance come to pass
I cemented this silly resolve of mine
I knew this collision course will lead me to ruin
But I don't care, I just want to be with you
You opened your still bewitching eyes
It still left me lovestruck and breathless
And when you flashed that killer smile
My mind went to a blank state

"Can I still get your number?"
Blurted out my stupid mouth
I said it without even thinking
Knowing that it may never turn out well
You stared at my dumb self
Chuckled sweetly for a bit
What surprised me the most
Was how you answered with just one smile.

Staring at the setting sun
Thoughts drifting with the clouds
Mild sunlight kisses my skin
Gentle breeze hits my face
Headphones on my ears
Listening to the songs of my youth
Train ride feels a bit bumpy
People coming and going
Melting behind the scenes
As I stay frozen in my thoughts
Lingering on the moments
Of a roller coaster path
When there was suffering
And there were triumphs
When my smiles lit up
And the times they died
They're all here with me
Shaping me to what I am now
Still in my transit
To the destiny I'm given
Still growing and learning
Still falling and stumbling
But with hope and drive
With courage and faith
And an unfaltering will
I'll get to my destination
My final stop
And carry on to a new journey

I'm still in transit
Heading to that special place
Where I really want to be
Waiting for me
And made just for me

She's someone you love
And someone you've hurt
No matter what you did
How far you've fallen
How distant you've become

She'll open her arms wide
Welcome you to her embrace
Give you rest after all the pain
She'll give you another chance
And she'll say
"No matter what, my son,
I'll still love you."

It took me just one look
Just one unexpected happenstance
To change the path I walk on
And let my heart take control of me

I was an unassuming guy
Who people would often only pass by Staying only in the background
Afraid to be exposed on the limelight

You were a sweet summer sunshine
Who makes any man look twice
Confident and beautiful, radiant as sunlight
You're a once in a lifetime jackpot, a needle in the haystack

But loneliness devours you
People took advantage of you
You're sweetly kind demeanor abused
And you were left and torn to pieces

Nevertheless I took a chance
I vowed to make you smile perpetually
Pick up the pieces and repair what's left
Shape it and make it feel something new

No matter your past iniquities
Nor your present insecurities
No matter what scarred you deeply
Nevertheless, you'll always have me

Nevertheless I'll stay honest and true
Nevertheless I'll stay madly in love with you
Nevertheless I'll try to ease the hurt and pain
Nevertheless you'll always be a precious gain

You are the one my eyes see
Not your past nor your future
Regardless of what made or broke you
I fell in love, deeply and truly with you

I'm in love with you regardless
I may never know any reason why
But I do know that my heart and soul
Body and spirit, they all belong to you

Cherish the small sweet moments
Savour the nourishing morning kisses
Remember every beautiful memory
'Cause when everything ends it's a twisted tragedy

You'll be left in bed thinking like crazy
Asking why she went out that door
Never to be seen and touched again
Bringing with her a big chunk of your brokenness

When it all ends, what would you do?
Will you rise up and try to move on?
Or would you mope bitterly until you lose all reason?

I've been asleep for quite a while
An endless millennia of indifference, it seemed
No escape nor any respite
Nothing makes this heart beat and breathe life

This world is an abysmal plane
An existence that brings pain and sorrow
Only a few finding the happiness they sought
The rest fighting viciously for what's left

"The sun will rise..", they said
".. and will bring the warmth we need"
Forgive me for the blasphemy
But I don't think it will come for me

I've been here for quite some time
Seeing the greed that all men possess
Hearing the sadness that all women repress
Failing in the good life that all obsess

And yet here I am
Still not loosing faith in a little corner of me
That the sunrise will come
And alter my dreaded fate

As I was loosing all hope
Succumbing to all the despair
Accepting the spiral fall to death
Sunlight touches my stone-cold heart

The sunrise came to my frozen wasteland
It made my heart beat like it lives again
This long hibernation comes to a hopeful end
My life turns upside down, my faith rewarded

You, whose love nurtures my dying emotions
You, whose warm kisses riddled me sweet sensations
You, whose same cold existence brought warmth to my dead
You, whose smiles and love replaced all sorrow and dread

It's not too late to be the warmth
To be the sunrise to those who still sleep
To those who lost all hope in this limited existence
To be the truth that replaces indifference and makes all men see

Be the beauty that brings this world at its knees
Restore the faith the soul-less have in humanity
Be the pockets of warmth in this cold reality
Be the life for one person in this endless dark sea

It seems that I have a disease
Something that I've never seen before
I don't know if its contagious
I just hope I could find a cure

It started a few days ago
I've felt weird out of the blue
I can't eat nor sleep properly
My chest feels heavy and my head light

My heart stings badly
My stomach upside down
My feet frozen in place
Every muscle in rebellion

My mouth feels dry
My lungs out of breath
I can't speak up
No matter how hard I tried

And its all because of you
I don't know what you did to me
Every time you're looking at me
These symptoms suddenly affect me

You're a disease to me
I've never felt this way before
I need to find a cure
And it seems that is also you

No matter how much I avoid it
I just can't shake you off me
You make me nervous as hell
And yet you're a little piece of heaven

I want you for myself
But I hate feeling like this
So would you please come to me
And be the cure to everything I feel?

I am damaged
Broken to the core
Discarded and left behind
Alone in this life
I can't see an escape
My heart feels heavy
My mind is twisted
Yet no one understands

I may be depressed
or probably anxious
One thing's for sure though
I'm a messy storm
Trapped in a bottomless hell
Where no one can hear
No matter how much I scream
No body seems to notice

I'm in a prison of anxiety
A delusional reality
A paradoxical identity
Where no one can help me
I am a sinner
Never a saint
I know what's coming for me
But still I ask for help

I'm twisted and broken
Left to dust and the elements
No matter how much I cling on
To those who should care
Nobody hears my deranged cries
And my dying soul inside
Being consumed by anger
Guilt and loneliness

Why can't they see me?
Why can't they hear me suffer?
I'm falling in an endless pit
No end in sight
Just **** me now
I can't do what you want right
I can't be what you want me to be
So don't expect from me anymore

These feelings are no joke
I am hollow inside
Devoid from emotion
With no will to live
Contemplating my life
To move on or leave it here
Do I take the plunge?
Or just let them batter me more?

Ah, there it is
The fear of uncertainty
If I end it all here
I still fear what may happen next
So maybe there's still hope
I'm not yet dead inside
I still want to breathe
To suffer and feel alive

This poem is proof
That I'm ****** up in the head
A disaster in the making
See my point if I said
That everything here doesn't make sense?

I take my leave
And forget them all behind
The old is gone
the new has come

I leave the pointless path
And head for uncharted waters
I leave my comfort zone
And go to see the world

I leave the heartaches behind
And strive to be a better person
One that can love this life again
And deserve to be loved as well

I leave all mediocrity behind
And seek a better, happier life
I leave the past year behind
and open my arms to the year ahead

I leave the regret behind
Over all opportunity forgone
I accept the challenge ahead
And take on new and better chances

I quit moping over the past
To live in the present
and take on the future
As I move forward in this life

Today I bid goodbye to the old
And welcome the new season of my life
So that when I face Tomorrow
I can say that I have no regrets in this wild ride

Midnight queen makes her presence known
Eyes lit up like sparkling diamonds
Lips shaded red as a blooming rose
Porcelain skin and an angel's face

The world of men sits at her feet
Wars are waged for her one night
Men competing for the goddess' favor
like playing with children's innocent curiosity

The eyes of this cougar stalking quietly
Hunting for the next unsuspecting prey
Her deadly charm her most effective tool
To catch and break the young and foolish boys

There I stood looking from a far
Desires getting stronger even if I stood no chance
Accepting that she won't ever look my way
And yet there she was, staring through my soul

God, my awkward smile and juvenile heart
You shined like starlight in my eyes
Heartbeats in maximum overdrive
When you lace your fingers into mine

Pent up desires taking over
Love bursting like a broken dam
Surging forth into each others' embrace
Raging like storms on a collision course

Making love like the torrid summer sun
Fiery encounters burning all trace of innocence
You, who consumes all the oxygen in my lungs
Whose kisses are my elixirs of eternal life

Stronger than *****, yet addictive like wine
You embody my deepest, darkest desires
You are a dream and a nightmare combined
And yet here I am, succumbing to my desires

You leave me thirsty for more of you
You plague me day and night in my dreams
Whose every word become my life's creed
Whose very silhouette I cannot live without

I am a slave to your mischievous desires
The goddess that I kneel to each night
I am a plaything running on your fingers
Your quick game whenever you feel bored

The devil in red and white claims me as hers
I am but a casualty in her rampaging storm
A victim who is left addicted to her taste
The plaything of a cougar whom every man desires

Dear you..

It's been a while
Since we last talked
How have you been?
I hope you're doing okay

Me?

I guess I still miss you
Missing how I wake up seeing you
Smiling at me each morning
Wanting to stay in bed the entire day

Dear you..

Do you remember how
We enjoy making breakfast everyday?
How dreadful it feels to leave in the morning
only to hurry back and eat dinner together

I do

I still remember our weekend dates
Whether going out, or staying home
Remember the first roses I gave you?
And my promise to give you some every week?

Remember, Dear?

I still remember how you caressed my hair
and how you kissed me every time I messed up
I also remember how we used to cuddle
When we stayed home on the weekends

Do you still remember?

How warm it feels when you hug me
At times when it feels cold in bed at night
and how we ate on the same bowl or plate
Whenever we lazily eat our meals on the bed

Those were the days

When I felt happiest the most
When I felt like I'm truly alive
Sharing that simple, fun life with you
Brought contentment to my heart.

Did you feel the same way?

You smiled whenever you looked at me
You kissed back even when I nervously messed up
You had that effect on me back then
I thought I also had the same effect on you

But I guess not..

When that blissful life took a bad turn
We turned for the worst downfall as well
You kept looking for someone else in me
Someone's love that's completely different from mine

And then it crumbled..

The life we shared and held on dearly
The way we shouted and fought every night
and how we slept on the opposite sides of the bed
I guess you really didn't feel the same

Who was he?

The one you still held on to
Even though I was the one beside you
The person who kept you from being mine
Whose memories outweighed the love I gave?

Then the end came..

It came by so fast I never caught a glimpse
I was still willing to fix it yet you alone brought it down
You walked out that door and left me for good
You took my heart with you as you went to him

It still hurts..

I am still stuck with loving you
Even if my mind says otherwise
Your ghost still haunts my life
I don't know what else to do

So please..

Stop running to me when you need comfort from him
Stop calling me every time you cry on lonely nights
Stop stirring this weak heart of mine
And please don't consider me yours anymore

So..

I'm saying a final goodbye
I hope you'll be happy in this life
In time I'll move on, I'll be free
Even if in my heart, you'll always be dear to me

You were a surprise
Something that never crossed my mind
An unexpected encounter
That would change me forever

I always thought that
If I work hard and with passion
I could get anything I want
Never have I been so wrong
As then and there
Right in front of you
While I choked on my feelings
and opened my heart
Fate dashed this innocence
In just a quick instant

I've always wanted you
Just to be beside you
Breathing the same air
Sharing the same moment
Laughing on the same jokes
Holding hands
Locking in embraces
Eating at the same place
and sharing the same food
Reading together the same books
Sleeping on your lap
While my mind flutters around you
Dreaming about a tomorrow
where we do the same things all over again
and being happy with each other
Being content with this life
That I wanted to share with you
How innocent of a dream
and yet Fate is a cruel thing

I always thought that I could reach you
I could be with you through think and thin
That you could want me the way I want you
Is it wrong for me to be in love with you?
Why does loving you passionately
end up being a punishment on me?
Why is it that when I only yearn to be with you
I end up living and loving alone?
I always thought that you were already mine
And yet in the end, you've always been out of my reach?
Why is it that when you were with me, you were always content
and yet when with him, you dare to dream even further?
Why can't my love for you prosper
while his love for you bears all the fruits of my labor?
I don't understand why a wish so innocent
can be trampled and forgotten in an instant twist?

I guess I was only chasing stars
Trying to catch a love
That was never mine in the first place
The lonely nights come passing by
Every day burning quickly
Like embers on a windy night
Trying to forget the memories
you shared with me
Trying to forget the dreams
you made me yearn to achieve
Even though forgetting you stings
I'll do it
I can't stay stagnant on you
I'll have to move on
even if it still hurts
I'll push on
Until you are completely
Out of my system
and out of my reach

I quit
I quit this mediocrity called Life
This existence filled with paradoxes
This life which lacks any form of happiness
These days that are filled with suffering

I quit
I quit this depression that eats me
This sadness that has long plagued me
This hatred that drives my every day
This angst that hovers over my head

I quit
I quit this stupid blaming game
Where I never took an ounce of responsibility
Where I hide behind flawed reasoning
Where I let my flowery tongue do my ***** work

I quit
I quit this pursuit of temporary happiness
Where I let Chance give or take control of me
Where I blindly wait for fruitless promises
Where I let this unfair Life give me anxieties

I QUIT
I QUIT THIS STUPID GAME
I QUIT FROM EVERYTHING THAT CONTROLS ME
From now on I am master of my fate
I am the captain of my ship
I alone pursue what I want
and not let anything come by chance
I will take responsibility for my actions
and take all the blame for my iniquities
I will not let anxiety take hold of me
and free my mind from all negativity
I will give up the pursuit of false joy
and in exchange pursue true wisdom
That this life is not as complicated
as what I thought it was.
That this life is just a simple struggle
and will only yield to those who are strong
Strong in mind and heart
Those willing to recognize and accept all weaknesses
and to change and convert them to strength

Whoever sits upon Heaven's Throne
Give me the courage to resign from this "Life"
and give me the strength and will
To start the change that I always wanted in me

It comes for me
Judgement from the sins
That litter my past
They linger to this day
I'm suffocating
from their grasp
Pulling me deeper
within the Abyss
I am imprisoned
within the blackness of my deeds
within the evil of my soul
They hover over me
The guilt slowly eating me
It plays with my twisted mind
Delusions feel like they're real
The whispers getting louder
Its ******* depressing here
I'm almost out of breath
from the anxiety building up
Just **** me now!

Save me
Hold me
Hear me plea
Come for me

The demons of the past catch up
To destroy what remains
Of my being today
They're almost here

Him:
This is the last chance I can manage
The last chance I could pour it all out
The bottled up feelings I held for so long
The strong feelings I always had for you

I've been in love with you all this time
From the first time I laid my eyes on you
But because of the silly fears I had back then
I lost and wasted chances to make you mine

Years passed by like mere days
But these feelings were never diminished
They even grew stronger by the day
And they kept me up and awake each night

I hid behind my cowardly fears
Thinking that if I stayed the same
Maybe one day, you'll see through me
But instead of that awaited day, he came

Tomorrow you'll walk down the aisle
In the most beautiful version you could be
Walking towards the future of your life
With me only watching by the sidelines

Tomorrow you'll finally be his wife
While I hold my peace forever
But tonight I'll be coming clean
So only for tonight, please listen to me

All this time, I loved you
Even at this very moment
I love you still so much
It kills me inside that you won't be mine

Your happiness is what I always had in mind
Even if that happiness doesn't come from me
I wish you all the best in your future married life
I hope he fulfills what I always wanted to do

I'll be fine on my own
I'll get over you someday
Though it may be hard
And may take me a long time


Her:
You never were the one for me
You didn't even mean that much to me
Back then you we're just a boy
And I still see you as a boy right now

A boy who took things for granted
Thinking that everything will turn out okay
Even when its obvious that he'll lose dearly
Because of hiding behind his baseless fears

But even then you were a boy
The boy who always stayed by my side
Of course I was bound to fall in love along the way
To the one whom my world revolves around

Stupid, dumb, foolish boy
You were always a pain in my heart
But you were there, right at the center
So insensitive of you not to notice

I had always been in love with you
Always waiting for the day you take heart
and courageously tell me what I always saw
That you also loved and cherished me too

But that day never came
Instead, he walked in my life
right when I was loosing all hope for you
becoming my fall back and my comfort zone

Still, I always had my eye on you
The first man I ever fell in love with
I guess first love really doesn't die
because even when I was with him, you stayed on my mind

When he asked my hand in marriage
I thought it was finally an escape from you
An unrequited love I always cherished
and finally be free from every memory of you

But now you come here facing me
Professing the love I always yearned for
Making me think of running away with you
and to finally be with the one I loved most

But instead, I'll give you just tonight
I'll make you regret every wasted time
I'll be yours for the last time
I'll give in to your love only for tonight


Both:
Let's take each other's hand
Be locked in each other's embrace
Slow dancing in a borrowed time
Staring longingly for the last time

Let our movements synchronize
with the music of our heartbeats
and the pacing of our breaths
as we dance our first and last dance


Him:
Let me touch your face for the first and last time
Let me kiss you passionately before the sunrise
Let me be yours in the darkness of the night
Let me make love to you under the moon and starlight


Her:
I'll let you take me for the first and last rush
I'll let you kiss me from midnight 'til sunrise
I'll make you mine only in the darkness of tonight
I'll make love with you bathed in moon and starlight


Both:
Slow the flow of time tonight
Please let us stay in this moment
Suspend us in a perpetual night
Let us stay here in each other's arms

We know forever is out of our reach
And that this love ends when sunlight comes
So please, let us stay this way for a while
Dear God, let us dance forever in this suspended time

Let the last of our kisses stay frozen forever
Don't let this reality be a bittersweet memory
Please let us cherish each and every second
Please let us savor each tender moment

Driving for miles
To get to where you are
Knees are aching
Hands are shaking
Fuel tank almost dry
Engines barely alive
Legs are tired
Tires wearing out
How long 'til I reach the end?

But..
I'm driving to where you are
and..
No matter how long or far
As long as the road ends
on the space beside you
I'll keep driving on
the highway towards you

Bloodshot eyes can't sleep tonight
Heartbeats working in overtime
Your smiling face etched in my jumbled mind
The only clarity in my foggy thoughts

Feelings I can't describe cling on to me
How come I became so full of courage?
To ask you out and tell you these hidden desires
I still can't believe how I managed to tell you

I still can't forget that shine in your eyes
When you held me in your arms tight
The words you whispered still ringing in my ears
Right before the kiss that made you mine

Awkward smiles, juvenile hearts
You shined brightly like stars tonight
Your warmth still brings goosebumps all over
Your securing embrace still feels like a fantasy

Am I dreaming like a madman?
Will this disappear when morning comes?
Why does tomorrow come so slowly?
Why is time so fast when I'm with you?

I've never felt this was before
Like a volcano bursting with emotions
As I grow closer towards your gravity
As I fall into the crevices of your heart

This may be what they call love
These unhinged feelings towards you
They consume every fiber of my being
As I think of ways of how to chase you

I scream out loud this love for you
Unleashing this desire to always be yours
You make me crazier with every look you give
Falling faster than light's speed when you touch me

My forever is yours to hold
I'll chase you to the stars and back
I'll love you deeper than the ocean floor
Just stay with me, for tonight and all coming nights