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There I was,
in the very depths of despair.
In a place so very dark.
And I no longer cared.
I had closed my eyes,
As I said my final prayers.
I had made up my mind,
I would no longer be there,
I'd be gone,
As soon as I finished my prayer.
But when I opened my eyes,
There was an angel standing there.
She told me how much,
The Lord loved me.
And that he'd never,
Not once,
Forgotten about me
I know not her name. But the Lord sent her to me when i was ready to give up and forfeit my life while in the depths of depression. Thank you.
Joshua Phelps Sep 24
One year since your passing,
I didn't know I still wasn't ready to say goodbye.

Unlike the other lives lost in years past,
Yours cut me deeper than the rest.

Like watching an older version of myself,
Carry out a wish I could never fully attempt,
It left me mortified, scared I may follow in your footsteps.

Months later, dreams came and went.
I'd often wake up, wondering why I'd envision myself
Jumping off the Eads Bridge.

I never thought I'd be having these thoughts again.

They say history repeats itself.
But I promise you: I won't repeat the same mistakes.
I won't become a part of the past.
My brother took his life on Sept. 8, 2019, two days before World Suicide Prevention Day. The title "Suicide September" is a cryptic reminder of the month my brother took his life and the year that followed the moment I realized I'm still not okay.

But I will be.
ChillNPsyco Aug 23
My blood I willingly spill onto the page
It takes the form of words to engage
A written expression of my life's insanity
It exposes my darkest truths for all to see
Unwilling to admit it's existence to myself
Darkest of thoughts I place upon a shelf
Behind my smile I've concealed this reality
I fear the possibility of my broken mentality
Would others not think this to be true
If asked for help what would they do
It goes unnoticed each time I reach out
That someone cares I begin to doubt
Hope I once held slowly fades away
Deeper into this depression I fall each day
Why does no one care enough to see
The emptiness I've hidden is killing me
Someone to talk with I have not found
Paper now keeps me mentally sound
With pen in hand I have learned to speak
In poetry I have a voice that's unique

ChillNPsyco
Its about dealing with my depression and finding, through poetry, a positive outlet for my suicidal thoughts.
ChillNPsyco Aug 19
I reach out but no one hears
    Within the silence are my worst fears

Why do I look for reason in every day
    I tell myself I no longer wish to stay

The pain reminds me I'm still here
    Always pushing away never pulling near

All this time alone woundering why
    To be a part of this life at times I try

A room filled with many I'm still alone
    A feeling not changed in an empty room at home

This life perhaps never ment to be
    For so many yes maybe not for me

Whispers in the dark voices I can't see
    Often they convince its time to fly free

Light fills my eyes each day I wake
    This life is not mine...
                            Not mine to take!?
                                            
                                                   ChillNPsyco
I want to heal you
But I cannot feel your pain
Please open the door
Ive seen your eyes rain
You feel so hopeless
Yet a smile you feign
Crying cant help you
Let me be your drain
Call out for help
Before you walk down the wrong lane
I refuse to watch you
End your pain
CALL FOR HELP: 1-800-273-8255
Trusted and loved ones are always also an options
Join the fight to prevent suicide, and tag your poem with #StayWithUs
They need us, so be there for them.
Imagine feeling all alone
Not knowing youre loved

Imagine trying to fight the pain by yourself
Not knowing other can help

Imagine feel hopeless and despair
Not knowing that joy is not to far ahead

Imagine attempting to take your life
Not knowing it will not only **** you

Some of us can relate and
Understand the true feelings
I cannot, but I can look for
Clues that lead to the end
I know you are stronger than whatever is paining you
Do you?
Ending your life is not the way to go
CALL FOR HELP: 1-800-273-8255
Trusted and loved ones are always also an options
Join the fight to prevent suicide, and tag your poem with #StayWithUs
They need us, so be there for them.
She was in an awful state,
Her folks had hurled words of hate.
When he came for her.

And there in her hand she held,
A sharpened bit of cold blue steel,
Honed ever so sharp to the feel.

Palatable,
Twas her pain.
He felt it too,
It was that real.

At once,
He knew that this time,
She not would not cut herself,
Just to feel.
And this time there was a,
**** good chance,
That these wounds,
Might never have the chance to heal.

He peered into,
Her tear stricken eyes.
And a plan it did arise.

With a lump in his throat,
And a trembling voice.
And as the tears streamed from his eyes.

He said,
You're planning to leave me,
I'm afraid I do surmise.
I realize that I can't stop you,
If you truly wish to go.
But,
One thing my dear.
One tiny little thing
For me,
PLEASE!
Before you leave to go,
Is that too much to ask,
From someone who loves you so.

May I please,
Please,
Hold onto to your sharpened bit,
Of cold blue steel?

Before my one true love,
From me it steals?

Three minutes.
Just three minutes please.

Let me hold it.
Please.
Just three short minutes.
I am begging you.
Please!

I do implore.
Give to me,
What's in your hand.
I promise to give it back once more.

I have never lied to you.
And,
I am not about to start it now.

I will do exactly as I say I will.
But ,
Please,
Please listen to me.
And give it to me now.

Three minutes,
Three tiny little minutes,
Of just you and me,
Before you leave to go.
Three minutes,
And you are free to go.

Could you please,
Give that piece of steel to me?

She unloosened her grasp,
And,
Into his outstretched hand,
It fell.
Her tiny bit,
Of cold blue steel.

Quickly,
He closed his fingers,
And,
At last,
The steel he,
Himself, did grasp.

Flip your timer dear.
Three minutes,
Three scant minutes,
That is our deadline.
That should be all it takes.
Sweet love of mine.


Now you should know before you go.
That I do indeed love you.

Well just how much,
Well that my dear.
You may never know.

Safely in his arms,
On his chest,
Her head did rest.

You do know,
That I love you the best.
Upon her head he placed a kiss.
And gently kissed,
The teardrops from her eyes.

As their eyes locked,
He said,
To me doll,
You're quite the prize.
As he wiped,
The teardrops from his eyes.

He then cast his eyes,
Upon the dwindling sand.
In the tiny hour glass.
Time is short my dear,
We haven't long I fear.

And yes,
Eternity,
It does draw near.

NOW!

Listen to me,
Hear me well.

You won't go alone,
You'll have me near.
That's how much,
I love you dear.


We will go together dear.
I'll hold your hand,
This will be,
Our very last stand.

He redirected his eyes,
And glanced upon the clepsydra
That depleted hour glass.
The timer was empty,
The sands had all ran out.

He then looked right back at her,
And said,
It's empty.
All the sands have ran out.
And honey,
This is what I am all about.

He unloosened his fingers,
And with an upturned palm.
He revealed to her once more,
Her, cold, blue steel.

This one thing,
I pray you've learned.
And your trust I have earned.

I did not lie to you,
And I never will.
And he held to her,
Her sharpened sliver,
Of cold, blue steel.

Where we go,
From here my dear,
Well you decide.

But,

We are going together dear.
That's for ME,
To decide.

We are going together dear!
Arm in arm,
And,
Side by side.

He closed his eyes,
And they both softly wept.

He felt her fingers,
Retaking her steel.
And imagined,
Just how it might feel.

The bite of,
Her cold, blue steel.

Then,
Like the tinkling of a bell,
Came a tiny metallic sound.
That itty-bitty sound.
Twas the sound of the razor,
As it struck the ground.
                                      
                                            by: coleman
This was written about an event in my life where a dear friend, who like I am, is a lifelong cutter, I got her to reconsider suicide that night and we are both alive and well, thankfully.
Sadie Grace Apr 12
One more word, one more straw, one more insult and I might blow up
Standing on the edge of life
One more drink and I’ll throw up
one more fight and we might break up
one more day feeling useless and I might give up
balancing my life out on a scale
It only takes one slight move to go from stable to chaotic
Just one smile could save me
one shout persuade me to follow through on my plans of self destruction
I’m on the edge
You could be the one who saves me
Andrew Layman Mar 13
The well is dry now

I...

When the sky goes dark you'll know

I'm...

The birds in the trees are quiet

I'm ready...

Even the wind is calm and hushed

I'm ready to...

God throw down your hardest rain

I'm ready to die...

Let nothing more be left unsaid,
Let nothing more of me remain

I'm ready.

A vision of weeping

I...

Faces of my family pass by

I'm...

I have left a hole in this world

I'm ready...

I didn't want to see my worth

I'm ready to...

My grave is still shallow

I'm ready to die...

Remorse sets in from my actions and deed

I'm ready to die another...

There is sudden realization as gray appears beyond black and white

I'm ready to die another day.

Please---
Let me live.
DESPERATE AMEN (55:22), Copyright © 2020
Andrew Layman
All Rights Reserved.
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