One more word, and I'll blow up.
One more day, and I'll grow up.
One more drink, and I'll throw up.
One more week, and I'll give up..

But words don't have to be said-,
Growing is an ongoing process,
Drinks don't have to be alcohol,
And help is easily available.

1-888-299-1188

Tell me,

what are the things that fascinate you most?

Things that make your eyes sparkle aglow,

that soothe your awry, unrest, stirred soul.

Some are fascinated with their fiery, burning passion of life,

and some others are fascinated with their own death.

I am one of the latter.

There I was,
in the very depths of despair.
In a place so very dark.
And I no longer cared.
I had closed my eyes,
As I said my final prayers.
I had made up my mind,
I would no longer be there,
I'd be gone,
As soon as I finished my prayer.
But when I opened my eyes,
There was an angel standing there.
She told me how much,
The Lord loved me.
And that he'd never,
Not once,
Forgotten about me

One year since your passing,
I didn't know I still wasn't ready to say goodbye.

Unlike the other lives lost in years past,
Yours cut me deeper than the rest.

Like watching an older version of myself,
Carry out a wish I could never fully attempt,
It left me mortified, scared I may follow in your footsteps.

Months later, dreams came and went.
I'd often wake up, wondering why I'd envision myself
Jumping off the Eads Bridge.

I never thought I'd be having these thoughts again.

They say history repeats itself.
But I promise you: I won't repeat the same mistakes.
I won't become a part of the past.

My blood I willingly spill onto the page
It takes the form of words to engage
A written expression of my life's insanity
It exposes my darkest truths for all to see
Unwilling to admit it's existence to myself
Darkest of thoughts I place upon a shelf
Behind my smile I've concealed this reality
I fear the possibility of my broken mentality
Would others not think this to be true
If asked for help what would they do
It goes unnoticed each time I reach out
That someone cares I begin to doubt
Hope I once held slowly fades away
Deeper into this depression I fall each day
Why does no one care enough to see
The emptiness I've hidden is killing me
Someone to talk with I have not found
Paper now keeps me mentally sound
With pen in hand I have learned to speak
In poetry I have a voice that's unique

ChillNPsyco

I reach out but no one hears
    Within the silence are my worst fears

Why do I look for reason in every day
    I tell myself I no longer wish to stay

The pain reminds me I'm still here
    Always pushing away never pulling near

All this time alone woundering why
    To be a part of this life at times I try

A room filled with many I'm still alone
    A feeling not changed in an empty room at home

This life perhaps never ment to be
    For so many yes maybe not for me

Whispers in the dark voices I can't see
    Often they convince its time to fly free

Light fills my eyes each day I wake
    This life is not mine...
                            Not mine to take!?
                                            
                                                   ChillNPsyco

I want to heal you
But I cannot feel your pain
Please open the door
Ive seen your eyes rain
You feel so hopeless
Yet a smile you feign
Crying cant help you
Let me be your drain
Call out for help
Before you walk down the wrong lane
I refuse to watch you
End your pain