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Faizel Farzee Aug 14
I look across the room and caught her staring,
What’s this sudden heat
My emotions suddenly flaring
We both instinctively look away and I guess that we are sharing
The same secret I hope that I’m daring,
Enough to look back, or am I just chancing
Should I rather electric slide over there like a man that’s just dancing
Wait what’s this I always here about
I think it’s called romancing,
Something about whining or dining, I think
Man! I need a shrink, or am I just glancing,
At what you *****, and stop with the counseling,
Man this is challenging!
Maybe a ring, what am I thinking
I don’t even know her name, this is demeaning
I look back and my heart just start racing….I mean F1 style
And yes! I know you know the meaning…
And it has feeling, what more do you want from me
At this point I’m reeling,
I turned around… she was gone like a magician, disappearing,
I was left picking up the pieces,
The sound of loss still screeching,
So I put my blades away in my bag clanging,
And hope tomorrow she’ll be inside me, her eyes is just stunning
So sleep soundly tonight lady knowing your shadow is now shading
Together forever… and no I’m not joking, for tomorrow my love….
You’ll be the one choking
Mixing my style of writing
Never whole
since in this hole
I fell
A bottomless well
and since time started here
(when all of time stopped)
this spell
I’m under
makes me not well

The company
I’m in
a grin
One who spins
A tale to weave
of make believe
These items to sell
Story he tells

My brain
set on fire
from his grinning
Cheshire
The maniacal laughter
and madness
inspired
I’m tired
I’m mired
Situation is dire

Without choice
he is hired
All thoughts are rewired
Has risen to “Sire”
This liar and thief
Plays *****
and cheats
I’m beat
can not win
Left to stare at that grin
Written: May 28, 2019

All rights reserved.
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
I'm guilty
I'm always guilty
it bugs me, won't leave me alone
"you're filthy, empty
only filled with things you collected
over there, in anothers life
you're all things neglected
hell, you're not worth the dive"

Shut up! Just be quiet.
Only once. Give me some bliss.
I am the one who decided
I'm fine with how it is.
Why can't you be my ally instead?
What is driving you so mad?

Yes, I feel pathetic.
Are you happy now?
Won't we make this sound more poetic?
The least we can do is put on a show.
Is this all I can do?
Always fighting this stupid me and you

I'm happy, can't you see?
My eyes cry out to make you believe.
I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy,
why don't you let me be?
A little bit futile,
in the eyes of my own judge
Quite a bit volatile,
and how it still all feels like a little bit too much

I know what I'm supposed to do
I know no stranger should feel like hope
I know I alone need to come through
I know there's no red rope
nothing that ties my floating pieces together
scattered for far too long,
underneath a bright and broken moon, forever
singing some beautiful and lonely song

Realization,
I recognize.
Acceptance,
I understand.
But I can't be changed.
I won't ever be changed.
Always feel estranged,
countless thoughts deranged
in the picture you see, so beautifully arranged.
ok okay Aug 2018
Live for the moment
Blank out the past
Rejoice in the present
Learn to smile and laugh

Forget about sadness
Numb yourself from pain
Ignore others problems
Congratulations you are deranged
madness is a part of everyone
Donna Bella May 2018
Crazy when I speak to him my world becomes such full of him and love, like I’m being held, like
Love sprouts like the flowers In April. Then I think of the word deception....
Donna Bella May 2018
de·ranged (mad; insane.)
He cracked me open so I wanted to knock him down. I wanted to shoot him harder than it shot, but it was a temporary feel so I was still hurt. I said to myself the only permanent feel of satisfaction I will get is death. And no not death of thou self, but the death of one other. One year, two year, three, it will never be expected but it will arrive. The wait is just the game but the final is the shot. He will feel the hurt but instead of it being temporary it will be permanent, but he will be lost because I won’t be there to find him once more, so he will be like a stray while I watch in the forefront, while he thought he won the game, he just opened it up for another player to loose. I say, Let The Games Begin!
Game Started 26 May 2018
Time began: 1:06 AM
Players Joined: 3
Grace May 2018
My mind is deranged
Filled with demons and sin
Making me believe the things I do will help me
If my brain was not held by the arms of the fallen angel
Would I actually be happy?
Or would I still think the thoughts that haunt me everyday
What is real
And what is not
Will never become known to me
For my mind has taken over my life
My mind is its own person
Mister J Jan 2018
I am damaged
Broken to the core
Discarded and left behind
Alone in this life
I can't see an escape
My heart feels heavy
My mind is twisted
Yet no one understands

I may be depressed
or probably anxious
One thing's for sure though
I'm a messy storm
Trapped in a bottomless hell
Where no one can hear
No matter how much I scream
No body seems to notice

I'm in a prison of anxiety
A delusional reality
A paradoxical identity
Where no one can help me
I am a sinner
Never a saint
I know what's coming for me
But still I ask for help

I'm twisted and broken
Left to dust and the elements
No matter how much I cling on
To those who should care
Nobody hears my deranged cries
And my dying soul inside
Being consumed by anger
Guilt and loneliness

Why can't they see me?
Why can't they hear me suffer?
I'm falling in an endless pit
No end in sight
Just **** me now
I can't do what you want right
I can't be what you want me to be
So don't expect from me anymore

These feelings are no joke
I am hollow inside
Devoid from emotion
With no will to live
Contemplating my life
To move on or leave it here
Do I take the plunge?
Or just let them batter me more?

Ah, there it is
The fear of uncertainty
If I end it all here
I still fear what may happen next
So maybe there's still hope
I'm not yet dead inside
I still want to breathe
To suffer and feel alive

This poem is proof
That I'm ****** up in the head
A disaster in the making
See my point if I said
That everything here doesn't make sense?
-J

A summary of what I currently feel
I just jotted them down out of the blue
It doesn't really make sense to me
So I don't expect it making sense to you too.
Poetic T Apr 2017
When the sun slumbered beyond the falling
horizon, a deranged mentor of those it wondered
over below. False expressions were given in tribute
to that which watched with acidic smiles of their  
persecution beneath its gaze.

In its fading they were collected in truest outline.
Negatives of perceived imaginings, pigmentation
descended from form like coloured petals
turning to dust. They were the abattoirs of this
now discoloured imaginings.

Sweetened voices of lullabies were replaced by
disorientated shrills, that reverberated within
the halls, they lumbered in there contorted abodes.
Nesting into corners of despair that blossomed on
them with hues of isolation.

Feasting on warm carcasses, weeping with
trepidation at this momentary freedom they felt.
There home of tattered souls that were cleaved
from prey, no peace in death. They hang at
the windows clinging to lost hope.

Time was a nine tailed mistress that whipped them
into the binding once more. For the arising was upon
them, they were lacerated within colour once more.
All that was flaked away and became as it was.
Smiles on there faces paying tribute to that above.
Rakha Jul 2016
The carvings on their arm were the output of
betrayal. Yours of unhealthy obsession. Others came along;
one comes from loneliness, the other from loss, and you
no longer feel estranged.

In fact, you are welcomed
in the society of deranged and uncouth.

The razor blade in your suit pocket
doesn't seem too dangerous compared to their
bleach, venom, and firearm.

You felt your existence became the very dawn of you;
the immoral depiction of Faustian love,
the very one
This was an excerpt from a novel I'm working on. I realized that this paragraph makes no sense at all to the whole story so might as well post this as something else.
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