Tap,
       tap,
             tap
Tapping on the wall around your heart
          Trying to find a way in
You've built it tall and strong
And plastered
       it with
          your suffering
     To remember why it's there

Yet here I am,
        not knowing where to start
So I tap,
          tap,
             tap
Hoping one day you'll hear me
Praying one day you'll open your heart
                     I want in
         I want to take your hurt
                 and make it mine
To share your pain
And find a way to make you see
This life your living
The infliction
         you've put
              upon yourself
You need not bare it alone

           Tell me your stories,
       Let me feel
              what you feel
You think you need to be a stone
But I want to know you to your core

So I'll tap,
              tap,
                  tap
Until I can see that diamond underneath
Not to break you
            or damage you
       Just to release you
               So you can finally
                    

                          breathe

I know what you'd all like to say
      To make me feel better
"Beauty is on the inside"
            Or
       "You are beautiful"
But my soul is so tattered
       And my heart
Has been repeatedly
             shattered
All the scattered
      bits and pieces
   You might find in there
          Between the scars and creases
     Would make you all run and hide
               If beauty shines from the inside,       Then I'm the **ugliest beast alive

I cannot tell a lie
And I will not lie back
To watch you *deny the truth
I never really loved you
I only ever felt affection
For all the abuse
That I knew I deserved
You may think it absurd
But how could I possibly
Love someone else
When I have yet to learn
How to love myself?
Or even live with myself?

Show a smile based on a lie,
Or a frown based on the truth,
Which would you prefer?
I'd like to smile
Once in a while
But I cannot tell a lie
And I will not lie back
To watch the truth die
In the soulless eyes
I see in my mirror
That girl whispers to me
But I cannot hear her
So she fades away
Silently

Yet, I know
This cannot be my destiny
Lies of smiles
Truths of frowns
It's bringing me down
I could think of a million lies
But only six eyes
To help me smile
More than just
Once in awhile
I cannot tell a lie
And I will not lie back
To watch you steal my smiles
My truths
My everything

I will stare in your eyes
While you spout all your lies
And watch you crumble
And Fall
While I smile
Standing tall
Staring down at your frown
Wishing you knew the truth
That I cannot tell a lie
And **I never really loved you

I woke up a villian from my worst nightmare
Too scared to defend those that really matter
Seeing the heroes of the story
And watching all their dreams shatter
Weaponless against the clock
That just keeps ticking
If time is all that really matters
Then why am I still breathing?
I can't control the emotionless toll it takes on my mind
I'll never be brave enough to try and turn back time
It ticks a little faster whenever I'm running late
And slows down completely when I try to test fate
On a date with the mastermind behind all my evil plans
He's death incarnate but still proud of my artistic scams
And yet I find myself feeling ashamed of who I am

Nightfall slowly fades away
    The sun rise takes its place
Clouds of smoke float
             through the air
And the glare from the tv reflects it
      in perfect patterns of white and gray
The sight of the light sends shocks
            through the unrested body
The mind slowly escapes through a dream
         of the sun
written with poetry

Don't categorize yourself with someone else, don't lump yourself into a specific type. One similarity does not a commonality make. A million and one people may all have done what you've done or felt what you've felt but that does not breed you together into one common group or make their goals yours or your goals something they have any possibility of reaching. It may sound cliche but you are the only you, no one else could be you or truly understand everything you've ever felt to the core of your being since you've become you. And this you, the one you stare at every day in the mirror, is not the you you've always been and is certainly not the you you'll always be. You are continually changing and becoming more than you've ever been before. If you keep trying and doing and working towards something, anything that's better than what you are right now then you've already surpassed every category, type or group that you lumped yourself into. You are not a category. You are not what anyone else thinks you are. You are what you try to become, what you hope to become, what you've always dreamed you'd become.

There was a deafening silence
Ringing in her ears
She tried to scream out
No one was close enough to hear
She wanted to break down
Drown herself in her tears
Losing sight of all that's right
Forcefully banishing her fears
But it was too late
It had been too many years
Taking a slow deep breath
Letting all the fog clear
She sensed death in the distance
Her time was almost near
Leaving nothing behind
She shudders then simply disappears

Sometimes
Life keeps moving when you're trying so hard to hold still.
Roll with the punches, make changes, do something to better yourself
Or *simply fade away.
There's more out there,
There's undiscovered emotions and ideas that could broaden your horizons wider than the most beautiful sunset that you may never even see because you were too set in your ways to go outside your comfortable little box and really SEE the world.

*The choice is yours.

He was such a sweet talker,
Met him at a real nice bar
He didn't have a ring on
I didn't know it would go so far

Yes, he is a charming *******
That sounds like his M O
Always getting drunk in a bar
Looking for his next ***

That's not how it was
He wasn't even that drunk
I see it all clearly now
His lies all stunk

The first thing I thought
as I saw you two together
Is not what a lady should say
So I think that I had better
Keep my mouth shut
And rise above the situation
Calling you a ****
Would just start a confrontation.

Listen here, "wife"
I didn't know he was married,
Thats not my type.
Throw away this hatchet you carried
I'm not the one you should be mad at,
He's been doing this behind BOTH our backs!

That is fine "mistress"
I think we can both agree
He is the one to blame and
it shouldn't be taken out on you or me
Now the hatchet that you talk of
The one that I have carried
I know what we should do
And where it should be buried

Who knows how many times
He's sweet talked an innocent girl
We could do something real nice
To rock his fantasy world
What do you say, you and me?
I think this could be destiny.....


**To Be Continued.....

There's more to you than meets the eye
Like the chapters
                    of my life
   I can't stop reading you
          And I can't wait to see
                   what happens next
The future always at the front of my mind
        But as I look behind me
With the past steadily
           trying to catch me
I realize I'll never escape the memories
           Like the first part to a trilogy
   All that matters is the ending
         And my book ends with
               you
                 and
                    *me

You tricked me
Made me believe there was something
Yet, here I am
With no light to guide me
Feeling like nothing
I loved you, still do
But something's changed in you

I thought you were a lighthouse
Out of reach, maybe
But guiding me to safety...
Turns out you were the wind
Causing waves of hurt
To crash over me

Now the light has dimmed
And I can't find my way
Not without you
But you led me astray
I'm drowning, dying,
I can't breathe
And "I'm sorry" was all you had to say

I don't need you
I've seen others sail on their own
How hard can it be?
But my muscles are weak
My lungs are filling with salt
That spills out of my eyes
I can't do this alone

But that's how you've left me
To fare the dreadful ocean waves
With a broken sail and no mast
Joining lost souls in watery graves
Because your bright light never shone past

You're dead inside
I see it now, clear as the light
You stole from me
There was no lighthouse,
Just me, chasing after a dream
That I didn't really need
And now there's only darkness
As far as I can see

Like a shooting star
Beautiful, yet so very far
Made of my wishes, hopes and dreams
Everything inside my heart
For a fleeting second
Seems you're just close enough to touch
Then there you go again
And I'm left wishing and missing you so much
Waiting until you're back in my sights
Covered by the darkness of night
The only thing that could make me happier
Would be flying by your side
Shining brightly together
As the rest of the world admires our beauty
From a distance, forever

~

Poets

     Possess

         The Power

               To Change The

                    World With Words

                             ~

When I call and you're too busy at work too answer

I just write a few lines and a couple rhymes
Just to pass the time
Cause you're always in my heart
And no matter how far apart
I know you'll forever be mine

That makes everything worthwhile

Her heart pounds uncontrollably
         Thoughts are spinning
     incessantly
She cannot fathom
                a right choice
   So she purposely
       silences her voice
           Why should she go through
    pain for others
When no one will walk through fire
        for her
Why should she get out of the rain
            and thunder
     When everyone shows her
            nothing but anger
   Life is not what SHE chooses,
         she has no say
The only choice she can make,
       is her dying day
           She'll be forgotten
    from then on out
Only memories of a
               pathetic useless girl
       Little did they know,
her pen met paper every night
      So she left words of sadness
for the whole **** world

On this course we travel
Of love, life and the things between
We all go through pain and suffering
We all have our own battles
Our own regrets, our own dreams
But it seems to me
That we all just need someone to say
"I'm here for you"
Or
"I love you"
Something that simple can help us all get through
A hand to hold or a shoulder to cling too
Just having someone there
Knowing someone actually cares
That's what gets all of us through everyday
Through every path, every different road we take
And although we all make mistakes
We need someone to lift us up
Tell us everything will be okay

Addicted to the room spinning
The blur of the lights
And the red in my eyes
My disguise in the dead of the night
And you've been fine all this time
Yet I've been drinking myself to sleep
Since the beginning of all the lies
Wondering how you're fine
Then I realize that in the light of day
Everyone sees a smile on my face
No one can see all my regrets
All my mistakes
And I think that you hide
Behind whiskey too
Cause it's my only addiction
Besides you
And I'd like to think that you're miserable too
How else could I make it through?
Whiskey took your place years ago
But I'm still addicted to you both
At least drinking shows me the truth
All I ever got was lies from you
I know I need to quit
You and whiskey
But I can't seem to forget your face
And that bottle is so pretty
I guess another shot couldn't hurt anything
**** you and whiskey
You're both way too addicting

The sun rises in your smile
I see the moon in your eyes
Awakens my thoughts for awhile
Shining through your saddening cries

The wind blows over the subtle contours of your face
Absconding with the salt from your dried up tears
Leaving no evidence of the fevered chase
That never had ceased after all these years

The feel of summer heats up my lonely heart
With the touch of your lovely innocence
The expanse of the ocean couldn't keep us apart
Seeing your glowing eyes is worth a million presents

But that would be all the season could bear to offer
Tides would elope to the flute tune played by the moon
I'd waylay this day to stave off the coming of another
I'd freeze this day eternal knowing tomorrow would come too soon

Tis but a dream I scream I scream
My body weak and weary

I lay in bed with throbbing head
And thoughts dark and dreary

I sing the song, What's wrong? What's wrong?
Am I left forgotten?

This be said, face turn red
Stomach spoiled and rotten

Demons spawn, be gone, be gone
As they take my breath

Be pearly gate or hell as fate
I've come to my death

I'm just the girl                  I'm just the creep
Who loved you                  That loved you
Who else could I               Who else could I
be?                                       be?
What else could I              What else could I
do?                                       do?
Please notice the               Please notice the
past tense                           past tense
Cause it's not like             Cause it's not like
before                                 before
I did love you once          I did love you once
But now I love you          But now I love you
no more                             no more

This girl right here
That loved you long ago
Well, I'm finally through
Just thought you should know
I no longer dream of you
I no longer wish you were mine
Truly, I loved you once
But I've left those feelings behind

                    I'm sitting here thinking about
                    His mischievous smile
                    When you walk by, I look there
                    To where my new prince
                    charming sits,
                    You leer at me, finally realizing
                    That you're lost at sea
                    Without me.
                    I'm gone, you see...
                   You should've caught me
                   When you still captivated my naiveté.

You should have loved this girl back
I've got so much heart to share
I could have loved you so right
Unfortunately, you never did care
I'm glad I'm so over you
I can finally move on to someone new
What I want, you never did give
A real man and poet, who's so true

                   I've already torn you out
                   From your throne in my heart,
                   I dragged you out by the throat,
                   While you got scratched by all
                   the thorns
                   Lying neatly everywhere.
                   You stare at me from the ground,
                   Pleadingly, but
                   No... I have grown.

Not only do you no longer reside
Inside this heart made of gold
You no longer haunt my dreams
You no longer have the key to my soul
The love I gave, you took for granted
But now my heart is free to love another
After this, my poetry will have no more specks of you
You'll be out of my mind forever

                    No longer will I fall into your divinity,
                    I can't stand your fake holiness.
                    I am the devil that caresses your soul,
                   The creep that awaits you in
                    your mirror
                   The little parasite that will
                    poison your mind
                   Whispering hymns and psalms
                    into your fingers and lips.

Can't you see?
That creep that haunts you,
Is secretly me.
But now that we're both through
We'll taunt both your dreams
Tear you from the inside out
Ripping at you from you inner seams
We loved you without a doubt
But now we'll forget about you
While you're left drowning in the deep
Remember us, when you can no longer breathe
Sincerely ~ This girl and that creep

I'm
   Faster
      Than
         I
            Look,
               But
                  I'm
                     Not
                        So
                           Bold.

You were
      One
I was
         two
Now I'm the
         *third

Secrets
Hidden within your own
Mind's eye
Truths
Yet more often than not
Debilitating lies
Moments
Some, much needed to be forgotten
Others, cherished
Memories**
So many stored so deep within
Others have been banished
Faces
Too many to tell their names apart
Wishing some to vanish

Yet all these things can tear at your heart
Some make you stronger
A fighter
Wiser

It just depends where you start

He worked vigorously
Tired himself out
He began to forget
What true loyalty was about

He played even harder
Exhausted to the bone
He wandered aimlessly
With no where left to call home

He touched the sky
On more than one occasion
No matter how many people cared
He kept himself out of the equation

He reached rock bottom
A few too many times
Got himself stuck in a hole
That was too far down to climb

He laid on the ground and prayed
For his one true saving grace
She reached her hands down
And pulled him up, with a smile on her face

This shattered house
  I've found myself surrounded by
Breaks a little more each day
   The walls I've built and plastered
Are peeling away layers of guilt
    Hanging mirrors with shadows of reflections
    Ghosts of ink spilt
This floor, these bricks, the cement out the doorstep
     Pavement falling apart from where so many shoes have walked
   Decorated with outlines of broken hearts in chalk
      If these walls could talk
They'd tell stories of rage and pain,
   Of the misery born into its foundation
           Day after day
If these cupboards could hold as many secrets as those walls have heard
    Of the lies they've tried to hide away inside, they would burst
      If you could save the tear drops that have fallen under this crumbling roof top
    Then you could drown this dilapidated house
       Bury it alive with no doubt that the years of emotion and agony it's kept hidden inside
  Will easily and willingly have peace when it dies
       The color of the paint would simply be forgotten before the end of the day
     The torn and rotten foundation would just be ripped away and replaced
  With stronger cement at its base for someone new to cling to
      And new walls and paint for another soul to suffer through
  But this shattered house still stands
      There's no plans to rebuild all these shards of my broken heart splattered on the ground
   And nothing will ever replace my soul when this house falls down

Miles between
And it seems
Like a dream
That so soon
You'll be
Right here
Next to me

Tell me something about you
Something nobody else knows
Show some truths
Reveal to me your soul
Don't make it too obvious
Hide your secrets within ink
Not too long and not too short
But make me think
Make me guess
Help me to understand
Write out your dark confessions
And I'll be your biggest fan

Intellectual stimulation* from a twisted mind
Bringing life to the *insanity I tried to hide
Cracking whips to break the chains, feeling death drip from my veins
Pouring poison down the drain from infections inside
Chasing rumors through the sewers, lost in tunnels of depravity; God's the only viewer but this show's not quite reality
Gravity scraped knuckles with me all the way down
A brute stuck in a boot loop asking me to drown
These restarts after crashes turned my synapses to ashes
Now I can't feel the rats in my cyber cerebral casket
Dead in the head and strapped into my bed
I dug at my wrists until I saw red
The doctors applauded at everything the gauze did
It still couldnt stop it *so on it bled

I believe my soul is rotten
Yet you say it is not

I see my face, it's so ugly
Yet you say I'm pretty

I think my body is destroyed
Yet you say I've earned my stripes

I know my heart is beyond repair
Yet you say you'll help mend it

Can you really see so deep into my eyes?
Into my soul?
My heart?
Sometimes I think you're blind
Because everything about me is *torn all apart

Tedious
Half-Baked
Egotistical
Erreneous

Assin­ine
Ridiculius
Troll
Inarticulate
SUBPAR
Tast­eless
Execrable

Laughable
Obnoxious
Grotesque
­Hopeless
Amateurish
Incompetent
Narcissistic

C­ounterfeit
Abominable
Reprehensible
Vainglorious
O­dious

Passionate kisses, touching, arousing, pleasing,
Leaving a trail of sensations, covering
Every inch of my body, finally being
Adored by your mouth, watching you
Sweat and starting to writhe, the pleasure is
Even more than I thought possible, ever.

From moments like that, to moments like these,
Usually, I'm not that much of a tease, please...
Come on, get a little closer, wrap me up in you,
Kick off the **** covers, I really wanna move

Moments are to be savored, with a sweet ****** thrill,
E**ven after I'm devoured, I want so much more, still....

Some words are life changing,
And once you say them
You can never take them back
So think before you say something hurtful
Or something that will not only change your life
But the lives of people you love
Sometimes
You're decisions don't only effect you
But all those around you
So think

You're
like....

My
     Sanity

in
   a
       world
   full
          of
            *Crazy

So what if I'm outspoken
My hearts been broken
I'm not jokin,
           my mind is awoken
Soul is stolen,
               must be an omen
Words unspoken,
       open and golden
Not what I would have chosen

***** the heartache,
      now I'm awake
Looks so opaque,
           you were fake
It was a mistake just to partake
Do a double take,
       no more heartbreak
Time to remake and fix the break
Give and take,
        now I'm awake

Was so miserable,
     unforgivable
It's criminal,
      be an individual
So predictable,
           you're an imbecile
It's unthinkable,
         not unconditional
Unintentional,
      you're unemotional
Not original,
        be considerable
It's so pitiful,
          not traditional
I'm rational and very visual

You ought to not get too distraught
You got caught tied in a knot
Like an afterthought,
            you fought
And brought the plot,
         overwrought
Maybe you forgot what you taught
But I'm not distraught
Over what you brought
Just
     some
         food
     for
  thought...

Sometimes

       All of this

           Sanity

   Just makes

            Me

       Go **Insane

I crawl on my knees
      Down to the deepest hole
 Forgot the remnants of my heart
        In a dark, dusky winter
                  Cold
         I'll die slowly and painfully
     If you fall apart
Pour out my soul
    Never remembering me
          Ghosts of lost loves
    Wasting away
            No one's caring
Somebody unfortunate
        Lonely
            Scary
                You

**** you mean more to me than words can explain, yet you put me through this pain, again and again.  

Here I am, just awaiting the day, waiting for you to say "I love you more than words can say"

Feels like I'll just keep waiting and even when it's tiring and I feel like giving in,

I'll still be here.

Cause I won't give up, I can't give in, this is worth more than just living,  

This is existing.

Breathing.

Everything.

Thats what you've been to me, what you are to me, what you'll always be.  

The existence of me.  

An extension of living,

And with every breath I breathe, I believe you are for me,

So...

I inhale with your name on my lips,
I exhale with your face on my mind.

And everytime I think of you, I imagine you think of me too.

So everyday I'm here patiently waiting and you're out there living,  

Remember my name,
Remember my face

This place,  
This existence of me.

And everytime I breathe, your love fills my lungs...

and if I die before you come....

**Remember I breathed my last breath with your name on my tongue.

Don't listen what your girlfriend says
She reads those magazines
That say you failed the test
You don't have what she needs
I slither like a viper
And get you by the neck
I know a thousand ways to help you forget about her
That ***** can eat her heart out!
Love bites, but so do I, so do I.
Love bites, but so do I, so do I.
Love bites!
My lips are pale and vicious.
You're foaming at the mouth.
You've suffered in the darkness.
Ill **** the pain right out.
So come and taste the reason
I'm nothing like the rest.
I kiss you in a way you'll never forget about me.
That chick can eat her heart out!
Love bites, but so do I, so do I.
Love bites, but so do I, so do I, so do I!
It checks you in and kicks you down,
And chews you up and spits you out.
It messes with your sanity by twisting all your thoughts around.
They say its blind they say it waits but every time it seals your fate.
And now its got you by the ***** it wont let go until you fall.
I was down and out, got up I said Hey love I've had enough!
I've felt pleasure without pain.
My soul you'll never tame!
Love bites, but so do I.
Love bites, but so do I, so do I
Love bites, but so do I, so do I, so do I!
Love bites, but so do I, so do I.
Love bites!
Love bites!

All These Pillows

          *I still  wish

                    You were holding

                                   *Me