I am not in contact with my emotions
they're distant to me and far away
it's been centuries since we've met again
ever since the night I let them be torn away
I found out early that love holds you back
so I cut off all association
And now my faux emotions sparkle
without any questioning
Because everyone only sees my smile
And it's not a cry out for help
But instead, all that I sprout it for
Is to display my independent self
So there's no reason for me to have anyone
Because I couldn't hold commitment.
I can watch from afar easily
As I decimate the shipments
Because my heart yearns to travel to my mind
and I painstakingly won't let it
I did this one to myself and now I am secluded
I found it easy at first but now it only gets harder.
I wanted to see her face again
So I deleted Instagram
I wanted to know what she was thinking
So I deleted Twitter
I wanted to hear her voice
So I blocked her number
The words mean nothing
As I try to fill my writing full of emotion
And nothing can lift me up
Let alone drag me down
There is nothing I can do
To describe the meaningless words
But write down some more
Nothing has any meaning
Not a single word
It hurts me to say
To bring myself to this grim truth
But it hurts me to be here sitting next to you
My meaningless words
Are not just on paper
But the garbled speech coming out of my mouth
And I couldn't say anything to you
Nothing at all
But I was hoping to say just one thing
I'm sorry for my meaningless words
I'm sorry for everything I've done
I wish that I never done anything at all
(What, she blocked me)
He know he was blocked and he know he was taught
He learned not to follow until he has talked
He always thought you could proceed
He believed he could be but he see (see)
It ain't gonna happen, it will fade
He will forget about you someday
He wanted to say hi or some phrase
But he walked by kept his face straight (aye)
Acted like he don't like you but hey
He still do and he gotta move on
This song will explain his mistakes
And his wrongs the way he went so long
He waited and waited, never did a thing
Stayed put and debated, would overthink
His thoughts would overtake his brain
And he was tamed by a fantasy, and you'll see (see)
He know he wrong yet he keep his head strong
He knew he would break but his tears will fade
In his face in his skin he would win
But he is lost and he lost his soul
To these cars, (skrrt) cash, and the gold
He hoped you could take him away
Steal him down by your grave
Live life through the days
He afraid there is no way
But he wish and wish and take his mind
Out of time but he climb
Reach goals but his life not whole (oh)
Look at his car and his life
Someday he'll need a wife
And it won't be you although he dream
It seems feasible but a teen
Can't see that far out but he try
He is blind to the real and his eyes (eyes) become sealed
His dreams start to fall to the floor
And a door is closed and future fades
His brain and his head start to break
They crack and a gaping hole is made
The sights he sees are shoved through and fill it up (yea) what he do? (what he do)
He takes them and think she is great
But she could be a ***** he don't know
He just go for it real slow and he lay low
Act like he don't care but he do
He knows when he looks at you
His judgement ain't right but his sights are bright
He finally say that first word (hey)
But no was all he heard (it hurts)
And he cried and walked away with a smile on his face but it fake
He laid down at home and he played with a knife blade
But he won't cut he just in distress
His life is a mess no love his heart made of
Black coal he has a goal that can't be reached
(He was blocked can't you see, no reasoning, yea)
the days I feel
my brain is blocked,
I take a step back
go for a walk.
no phone needed
through the neighborhood.
searching for peace
a quiet state of mind,
to leave it behind.
one way I take my pause for the day, giving my brain a moment to process
Blocking the hope of a text message.
A chance to even get in my head more.
Closing the sheets in my room so I don’t get a glimpse of you.
Keeping my head down as I walk into the room.
So that my eyes don’t “ironically” find you.
The chills I get when I walk past you.
The foundation of our “relationship”.
The series of actions I went through, throughout my break-up.
You are trying so hard
To get in my bubble
Planning dates with someone so unstable
Don't you get it?
Don't you see?
You are only a friend
Only a friend to me.
You won't give up
You won't go away
Blocked on all my social medias
But still you find a way to contact me
Don't you get it?
Don't you see?
You will never, ever be with me.
Still there you are promising again.
That this will work out.
You are a "gentleman."
DON'T YOU GET IT?
DON'T YOU SEE?
You have been friend-zoned, baby.
Wish the person doing this to me would take a hint.
I let it go
Hoping that someday
You would come wandering
Nothing in my favour
Things moved on
Confiding in the future
It was gone
Glimpses of you
Made me believe
That there still was a chance
I guess I was wrong
You made a statement
Yet defriending does not remove
I still exist
In both memory and you
Left to my own thoughts
What did I do wrong
Was it me
Or has someone else come along?
Can you allow yourself to be irritated and feel hurt, when you weren't even in a relationship