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Jan 22 · 271
to rest
Sadie Grace Jan 22
I wonder
Why darkness creeps in so quickly each day
but times change
And time changes
So when the light seems to leave an hour early
I must remind myself
this darkness is just a nudge
a hint
perhaps a warning
That you must rest
For longer days will come when you will need your strength
And in those long, sweaty days of summer
I will think back to when the sun told me to go home
because even the shortest day
Was long enough
Jan 10 · 55
empty
Sadie Grace Jan 10
hands numb from cold air
heart numb from untold despair

the strongest feeling of them all
i recall
was feeling nothing at all
Aug 2020 · 618
ashes
Sadie Grace Aug 2020
a million reminders
that I can't run away from this time
not this time
stuck in the rewind
I replay the day it all changed
Can't I just forget?
Until then --- in the ashes I remain
Jul 2020 · 829
quarantine
Sadie Grace Jul 2020
i'm sentenced to house arrest
by my own fear
Jun 2020 · 767
His Love Endures Forever
Sadie Grace Jun 2020
Give thanks to the Lord for He is good
His love endures forever
He brought me through the desert
His love endures forever
He carried me through 2019
His love endures forever
He comforted me with His presence and the nearness of friends
His love endures forever
He exposed my sin
His love endures forever
then gave me a way out
His love endures forever
He brought healing like streams of water, flowing all over me and washing me clean
His love endures forever
He granted a fresh start, a second chance
His love endures forever
He carried me through 2019
His love endures forever
and He will bring me through 2020
His love endures forever

The Faithful Love of the Lord Endures Forever
based off of Psalm 136 where someone remembers how God has provided for the nation of Israel in the past. I reflected on the past year and how God has provided for me, keeping the refrain "His love endures forever"
Jun 2020 · 1.7k
breathe
Sadie Grace Jun 2020
someone take my breath away

with love
not hate
May 2020 · 369
the hidden and the hiding
Sadie Grace May 2020
I walked a mile searching for the sunset
but couldn't quite find it
the storm clouds tried to cover
the trees tried to hide
the darkness tried to smother it

but I still found slivers of color and beauty
covered in clouds
hidden behind trees
smothered by darkness
but still alive
still visible

is this what grief looks like?

darkness slowly eclipsing the beauty of life
May 2020 · 81
the dance goes on
Sadie Grace May 2020
There's life in this pen beyond what someone will read

They only see the pretty, cleaned up, typed out version of my thoughts

This is the battlefield where they go to war

This paper will take the hits, absorb the impacts, and survive

Your mind might not
Our friendship might not

But my hand will keep dancing across the pages
Originally this was written in my notebook.
May 2020 · 706
watercolors pt. 2
Sadie Grace May 2020
She wished to paint with watercolors
because they bled all over the paper
Like her emotions bled all out of her wrists
but never out of her mouth

She wished there was a way to be beautiful
and still tell the truth of her messy, wild life

She was reaching for her razor blade
When the watercolors called to her
There is a better way
There is an easier way than this, they whispered
She wanted to believe it
but didn't know if it was worth the risk
didn't want to look weak

There was no pain involved in this new way
Only beauty bleeding from her heart
Instead of her skin
Was it worth it?
to leave paint stains rather than scars on her arms
May 2020 · 265
abide with the sun
Sadie Grace May 2020
I sleep when the sun does
to hide from the dark in a fortress of sleep
But running doesn't make it go away
only more traumatic when you have to face it
I sleep when the sun does
missing the beauty of the stars
They speak a language I can’t understand
A language I might never learn
If I'm scared of the dark
May 2020 · 205
it's whatever
Sadie Grace May 2020
My fingers are flying over this hot keyboard
Who knew I could type this fast?
Who knew I could think this fast?
Who knew I could run this fast from what hurts?
It’s whatever. Or not.
If it’s hot- it burns
         it stings
                   it leaves marks
Even if there’s something amazing on the other side of it, like a great story, it’s too hard to walk through the ashes
I’d rather run right past, or even better- run the other way
It's easier this way, I say
It's whatever, I say
But is it really?
Apr 2020 · 205
beauty transformed
Sadie Grace Apr 2020
The sun says just as much in its presence as in its absence
A beautiful escape from the sky
How could endings be so graceful?
As the fire goes out, the passion dies
I lay here believing that there’s more out here
In the dark, there is still light
In the night, stars come out
They are much brighter, much more genuine than our inventions  
Artificial could never replace the real thing
Although the sunset is beautiful and the night of stars are beautiful,
There is always some awful grey in between
based on time spent watching the sunset
Apr 2020 · 212
I'm not out here alone
Sadie Grace Apr 2020
If the night is long
Look up at the stars
If the night is lonely
Look around in the dark
& start to realize you don't belong here
You're not alone here
The dark is not your home
So don't settle down here
You will be found here
You're not alone here
If pain is here
Your Savior's near
Knowing the whole story, he walked into the dark
yet made it out
Knowing your heart was full of doubt, shame, and self-inflicted pain,
He still went through with the plan to forgive
So I can live beyond the grave
There is life beyond the grave holding my plans, future, & sense of control
This night is long
But I'm not out here on my own
I'm not out here alone
Though darkness seems like home
I'M NOT OUT HERE ALONE
Apr 2020 · 363
words i hold on to
Sadie Grace Apr 2020
Even if your world is falling apart
I hope you take care of that precious heart
Feed it truth
Feed it love
Feed it forgiveness
When the season is over, look back and see
In all this illness
There was growth
In all this sickness
There was hope
For one day, you will see again
One day you will breathe again
And one day we will meet again
Apr 2020 · 80
wounds
Sadie Grace Apr 2020
It’s not supposed to be this way,
but that never stopped anybody.
-words of the victim
Apr 2020 · 306
1am thougths
Sadie Grace Apr 2020
1am thoughts drive me outside to the stars
the wet grass and night breeze remind me
it's not a bad world
it's not a bad life
it's just a bad night to stargaze
clouds litter the sky,
but somehow stars still peek through
clouds roll on
and somehow they unsteady me too
I could lay here for hours
in the uneasy silence of the night
Apr 2020 · 831
a broken soul
Sadie Grace Apr 2020
“I feel numb”
oxymoron
You don’t feel numb
You are numb
Who broke you so many times you feel nothing?
Apr 2020 · 441
water from heaven
Sadie Grace Apr 2020
I wake up to sweet, beautiful rain
I stick my head out the door and feel the coolness drip over my face
I stick my hands out and long for them to be washed by this water from heaven
Wash over me, rain
Wash over me, water
Wash me clean
I hear the voice of the Living Water
I have already made you clean
You are forgiven
Apr 2020 · 118
light is coming
Sadie Grace Apr 2020
I’m most comfortable at night
as the sun sets in a beautiful watercolor
darkness F
                  A
                    L
                      L
                        S     on me
Is it supposed to be soothing? It is to me
Rain comes and everything’s just as it should be
Too long in the dark makes one comfortable there
Don’t let your eyes adjust to the dark
Don’t get cozy in the pit
The sun’s coming up tomorrow
It's too early to quit
Apr 2020 · 287
stormy soul
Sadie Grace Apr 2020
Winds blow trees back and forth
Thunder booms, rain pelts my face
Call it harsh but I love it
Call it dark but I live for this
Nature demonstrates exactly how my soul is feeling  
I’m a spring storm, longing for a sunny summer
Apr 2020 · 152
save me
Sadie Grace Apr 2020
One more word, one more straw, one more insult and I might blow up
Standing on the edge of life
One more drink and I’ll throw up
one more fight and we might break up
one more day feeling useless and I might give up
balancing my life out on a scale
It only takes one slight move to go from stable to chaotic
Just one smile could save me
one shout persuade me to follow through on my plans of self destruction
I’m on the edge
You could be the one who saves me
Apr 2020 · 1.1k
watercolors
Sadie Grace Apr 2020
She paints with watercolors because they bleed all over the paper
like the feelings coming out of her mind bleed all over her arms
like the words shouted at her bleed all over her heart
She wished one day to paint with acrylics
they were simple and quiet
they colored inside the lines
they didn’t bleed
but who cares anymore?
She’s already numb to it all

— The End —