Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
WickedHope Dec 2014
forget about me
but don't forget about me
because if you forget me
i'll die
i'm like tinkerbell
if you stop believing in me
i'll die
if you forget about me
i'll die
but i want you to forget about me
so i can have peace
and try to forget about you
you need to get out of my head
please
i can't evict you
i don't have that kind of strength
so i need you to remove yourself
i need you to metaphorically die
so i know you won't come back to life
like you've been doing
stay dead
stay away
stop making me fall apart
every time you say
                                                                ­     **hello
What. The actual. ****.
WickedHope Dec 2014
Stop laughing at me.
You think,
what a silly little girl,
what a silly little girl...
Will you still laugh,
when your me?
When your drowning alone,
on display for everyone to see?
I'm having violent fantasies again.
- - -
Sugar is so sweet.
Dec 2014 · 435
I'll Do Anything
WickedHope Dec 2014
If you come back
I promise to be better
If you come back
I promise to be like her
It's always been yes when it comes to you.
- - -
Contracts written in blood.
- - -
ANDREW!
Dec 2014 · 402
In Shock: Two Years Later
WickedHope Dec 2014
He got it

He got everything

Then he left

Then I stopped living
Dec 2014 · 1.1k
Hide Me Quickly, Please
WickedHope Dec 2014
Shh
forget, forget
my memory you will regret

Shh
don't look, don't look
under the cover of this book

Shh
just sleep, just sleep
deep enough to miss me weep
I want to stab someone then wash them clean in my tears.
I have issues.
WickedHope Dec 2014
Lets talk about how years evolve from days,
And when it comes to me, no one ever stays.
Dec 2014 · 3.2k
Slow Dance
WickedHope Dec 2014
Stop humoring me
If you don't really care,
Because I'm wasting my time --
Wasting my life,
And I can't afford any more breaks.
Anymore breaks and I'll shatter,
Don't you understand that?
I'm just trying to find a clear image
In this distorted blur;
I want a clear reflection
In this dark pool.
So, take off your mask,
Because I'm tired --
Exhausted -- from all these masquerades.
I just want to dance barefoot in the sand...
Do you want to dance barefoot in the sand?
What the hell did I just write?
Emotions, bleh.
Dec 2014 · 897
French Fry
WickedHope Dec 2014
Do you know what today is?
     Today is the two year anniversary
          Of when I began to confide in you
               On a late night drive back from Barnes & Noble
                    You wanted to buy me dinner
                         So by the light of your dashboard
                              I was forced to explain --
                                   I chose to tell you --
                                        That I had a problem and couldn't eat
                                             And you told me that I'd be okay
                                                  Which I later was
                                                       Up until the day you cut me out
I love you.
I miss you.
WickedHope Dec 2014
Why do I have to go to college?

          Why do I have to get a degree?

                    Why do I have to 'succeed?'

                    Can't I just travel with nothing but the clothes on my back?

          Can't I just be broke and live my life for the mere thrill of it?

Can't I just write and draw and write and dance and be me?
I enjoy seemingly pointless pursuits.
I'd rather fill my soul than my pockets.
Dec 2014 · 1.3k
Today's Okay... (10w)
WickedHope Dec 2014
In a good mood,
Let's see how long I last.
My hair smells good.
I'm random. :P
WickedHope Dec 2014
I hide behind my hair
apparently it makes me shy

I love to play with his ears
apparently it turns him on

I have a habit of vanishing and reappearing
apparently it freaks people out

I like to pretend I'm invisible
apparently it's sort of true
Boop.
WickedHope Dec 2014
Words
     that constantly run through my mind and fill my vision
     I can't get enough
Canisters and bottles
     that bring me peace when I'm done dealing
His hands
     that make me shake with desire and terror
Hello Poetry
      -- now I have somewhere to put everything
Connor Jessup and Finnick Odair
     because I'm a fangirl
Pain
     and it follows me everywhere
Sunsets and starry nights
     that I can't stop drawing
Photography
     -- always
My religion and beliefs
     -- I'll never sell out
Here's a handful.
- - -
In response to Stardust's #myaddiction challenge.
WickedHope Dec 2014
Hush now
Just a child
Be alright now
'Cause I told you to

Hush now
You're a liar
Be alright now
Stop faking

Hush now
Little one
Be alright now
I know better

Hush now
It's made up
Be alright now
Your problems aren't real

Hush now
WickedHope Dec 2014
why do you continue to ignore me
why do you continue to ignore me

don't you see that my heart is breaking
it's your fault i've been left this way

why do you continue to ignore me
my life is falling apart ever since you left
my life is falling apart and i've got nothing left

you packed up and walked away
no strings attached
nothing connecting us of course
because i tied all my strings into a bow
as pretty as her
as pretty as i wish i was
so sorry john green but i've no strings left to snap in me

why do you continue to ignore me
i've written song and song and poem about you
i was fine being nothing
until you made me something
i'd rather be no one and untouched
than someone left behind collecting dust

i was good enough for you until i wasn't
your brown eyes would look into mine
and you told me i was beautiful
and you told me i was beautiful
and you told me
told me you'd never leave me

why do you continue to ignore me
why do you continue to ignore me
why did you walk away with all my strings
unraveling off of your back
Paper Towns by John Green reference in there. I hate the way he writes.
- - -
I can't see out of my left eye at all right now. Hahaha, pain.
Dec 2014 · 983
Are You Asleep Yet?
WickedHope Dec 2014
I want it to switch,
I want to startle you awake
so that you are greeted
by an empty darkness.
**** this,
I need to
Stop feeling.
WickedHope Dec 2014
The only time I can tell you everything
is when
I'm dreaming,

But you
always
turn it into
a nightmare.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Dec 2014 · 470
Some Of The Things
WickedHope Dec 2014
The face you see in the mirror
The sloppy scrawling penmanship
The voice that can't carry a tune
The sun tanned arms and pale white chest

   Are all can think about as I try to fall asleep at night
These are some of the things I love about you.
I miss you, babe.
WickedHope Dec 2014
WITH CONTRIBUTIONS FROM MULTIPLE POETS

You don't cut, your wrists are fine.
          If I was dumb enough to cut my wrists I'd have been caught by now.
You're not anorexic, I've seen you eat.
          How much, really?
You're not depressed, you smile all the time.
          Yeah, because acting and lying aren't things.
     ~
WickedHope

You can't have anxiety, you talk to so many people.
          Its funny how you see me talking, but don't see the panic attacks.
     ~
aesha nisar

You have a good life. There's no reason to be sad.
          You're part of the reason why I'm depressed.
     ~
Phoenix

You're not angry, you haven't raised your voice or yelled.
          Maybe the voices yelling in my head are so loud I can't do anything
          but focus on keeping them quiet.
You're not scarred from your past, you act normal.
          If normal is crying for hours at night till tears can't come anymore
          and apathy sets in, then yes I'm quite normal.
     ~
Stardust

You are so lucky, it's so easy for you to be good at what you do.
          You don't see the intensity of doubt and countless hours of anxiety to
          get things to the point they're not too embarrassing to show someone.
     ~
PrttyBrd

You're fine. You aren't depressed, just really sad.
          If I'm not depressed, just sad, then why am I here everyday?
          Why am I here crying to you when I should be out, living?
     ~
Tiffany Smith

God I swear every guy you meet online just wants to bone you.
          You say that like its a good thing. All I want is someone I can trust,
          someone I can rely on, not someone who wants to bone me.
You have boyfriends from everywhere, india, japan, china...
          I have none. These are only friends, the only one I want is you.
Your so strong.
          Yea, 'cause going home to cry in a corner, then stuffing my face with ice
          cream while watching sad anime is totally legit.
Are you okay?
          No I'm not ok. I just want to punch both your eyes out, then cuddle with
          you and make out with your face. Then maybe I'll just take a long break
          to bawl my eyes out and get rid of all evidence, all but the telltale clue of
          how swollen my eyes are
     ~
Creep that Loved You

Come on. You can go to school. You're not sick.
          Physically, no. Now mentally...
Why are you so good at everything?
          That's because you don't bother to look deeper.
You look fine.
          Oh yeah, the red eyes and dark circles just add to my beauty.
I love you.
          Yeah, it looked like it when you were 'out' with your 'friends.'
     ~
maha salman

You're so resilient. You've been through so much pain, yet here you are living strong.
          That's because every time someone says, are you OK? I just smile and
          say I'm fine. But none of them can hear the screaming in my brain saying
          I should just die.
You're so beautiful.
          No.... The smile is fake, powder covers the circles under my eyes,
          mascara makes my eyes look bright and lip stick covers the bite marks
          on my lips from where I chew through them when I'm anxious, or
          panicking, or being asked questions. You would be repulsed by the
          beast underneath.
You're such a talented poet.
          If writing down my deepest darkest dreams, nightmares, fantasies and
          memories, make me a good poet, then yes. But all I write is the thoughts
          that scream to come out or my head will explode.
     ~
The Girl Who Loved You

You have never felt real pain, you are a man not a wuss.
          The worst pain hits you in the heart not in the head... Whats a man
          without pride, whats a man without a name?
Get over her bro, shes just one girl.
          One girl that I chose to love out of the 7 billion other people in the
          world.
Open up your heart to new people new things.
          What's the point in meeting people, when in the end they all just leave?
You aren't alone.
          I'm not alone? You lie through your teeth, where where you when I sold
          my soul to the devil and condemned myself to the abyss?
We are proud of you always, son.
          Words I've never heard, just the echoes of my parents inside my head.
You live a great life.
          That's not the message the untouched prescribed sleeping pills and           ecstasy portray.
     ~
grld

You're so patient.
          On the outside yes, in the recesses of my mind I'm screaming my
          head off... waiting for something that will never happen.
     ~
Julian Pacheco

Who cares about the others? You're not like them you're different.
          What if I don't want to be different? What If I want to curl up into a
          ball and pretend I don't think I'm failing you every moment of the day.
Life's not fair.
          Well maybe it's time it should be. Maybe it's time for us to stop
          thinking that we deserve more because that's all we've ever known.
          Maybe it's our job to MAKE life fair.
Forget it, move on.
          I don't want to. Shouldn't everyone be able to hold onto the things they
          hold close? If they were holding it close it meant something and if it
          meant something good then it's worth fighting for.
Shut up.
          No. This time I won't be quiet because I sit here and I listen to what you
          say every day; you treat whoever you want however you want and that
          is not your right. Everyone has an opinion. I want to share mine.
     ~
Forgotten Dreams

You're so confident.
          Only because you do not see the pain and turmoil it causes me
          inside, and the sores inside my cheeks to keep from crying.
Why are you shaking? It's not even cold.
          Because I'm scared, scared of scenarios untrue.
~
Makayla

You're not sad, you look so happy.
          Tell that to the guys who keep pointing all my flaws, and laughing
          about it, leaving me speechless because I have nothing to say in return.
You're such a good writer.
          And look how handy that is, won't ever shut them up for good.
You still have so much to live for.
          To keep living like this, might be considered anything but living. You're
          all too perfect for this world, but you know what? My body can't keep
          living in a different place my soul is.
     ~
A Sad Sam

Chill out man, it's just a couple people.
          To me, three people is like three thousand people. Their voices circulate
          in my head and drive me crazy until I can't help but break down. You're
          right, I should definitely just chill out because I don't know anything
          about the disorder that brings a constant burden to my days.
Why are you so antisocial? Get off the computer and do something productive for once
          Try the fact that everybody that surrounds me makes me feel like the life
          I live isn't worth living and the comfort of understand people on the
          internet keeps me sane.
You're so lazy.
          Don't you dare start on that, because every ******* day I wake up and
          breathe despite my lungs collapsing in on themselves from all the
          pressure people give me, and every single day I do the work I'm told to
          do and I'm trying my hardest but I'm fighting a war with myself and it
          takes up every ounce of energy I have left. Don't you dare tell me that
          I'm lazy when every day I take all the strength I have to keep on living.
     ~
Emma Tauzell

They had never met, didn’t know each other’s name --
          Yet their eyes were already making love.
     ~
Deborah

You can't really love someone you've never met.
          He's the first thing on my mind when I open my eyes, the last
          thing I think about before I go to sleep, he's in my thoughts all
          the moments in between, his face takes away the nightmares and
          fills all my dreams. How is this not love?
     ~
Just Melz

Just forget about her and move on.
          How am I supposed to do that, when all I see is her and her
          precious qualities I so dearly love in every girl I talk to?
          Forgetting is a lot harder to do than finding.
     ~
Neb Dnarts
Feel free to add to this in the comments,
and I'll tac it on the end with credits to your screen name.
WickedHope Dec 2014
Who am I to tell myself what I am?
To think I can evaluate my life is a lie;
I'm not even sure I am real.
Talking myself up will only lead me to fail.

To think I can evaluate my life is a lie.
Protecting my skin will surely lead me to break,
Talking myself up will only lead me to fail.
Dying is the only way to live.

Protecting my skin will surely lead me to break --
I am not worth the wasted efforts of vitality.
Dying is the only way to live.
If everything is vanity, why not be nothing?

Who am I to tell myself what I am?
I am not worth the wasted efforts of vitality.
If everything is vanity, why not be nothing?
I'm not even sure I am real...
It doesn't rhyme because I can't do that.
I tried.
I failed... if you've read my bio, you know what comes next.
Dec 2014 · 923
Love Me Not, I Sit And Rot
WickedHope Dec 2014
I don't feel loved,
and I don't know why.
I don't feel loved by myself
or by anyone else.
Isn't that all anyone truly wants?
- - -
I am just going to sit here for awhile thinking,
which is possibly the worst thing for me.
Maybe I'll go out the bridge tonight
and go before they can find me this time.
Dec 2014 · 575
I Miss
WickedHope Dec 2014
I miss you and your lonely sheets
I miss laying in the hammock
I miss close together
I miss dreaming
I just want somewhere to sleep, safely away from my nightmares.
I want to sleep forever.
Dec 2014 · 261
What Is It Worth... (10w)
WickedHope Dec 2014
I am tired of feeling like no one loves me.
...to try to breathe with lungs that insist on staying hollow?
Not enough. It's not worth enough.
Dec 2014 · 766
Written Language (10w)
WickedHope Dec 2014
You know,

words are just letters

thrown together in clumps.
Dec 2014 · 486
Ever, Not Me
WickedHope Dec 2014
i want to be poetic
but i cant...

     i want to feel needed
     but i don't...

i want to seem together
but i’m not...

     i want to know something
     but i won’t ...

                              ...ever it seems
Dec 2014 · 402
Universal (10w)
WickedHope Dec 2014
we're






all





dying,




i



just


want

to*
doitf­aster.
WickedHope Dec 2014
b  l  a  n  k                s  p  a  c  e  s


c  o  l  d       ­              f  a  c  e  s


e  m  p  t  y                 p  l  a  c  e  s


and then theres me… somewhere...
Boop.
Dec 2014 · 1.1k
What A Flavor (10w)
WickedHope Dec 2014
My
tongue
                              still
                    stings,
                              bitterly
                    burning
from
your
          aftertaste,
   love.
Oh my darling, what a mess we made...
Dec 2014 · 1.8k
Peace Time
WickedHope Dec 2014
My legs cross yours
Under feather sheets
My skin kisses yours
Hidden, hushed we meet
Words.
Longing.
More words.
WickedHope Dec 2014
I get angry and crazy
Each second
More and more
I am sweet and I am caring
Up to the moment I switch
Triggered
Crushed
Whatever it is
I'm going to try to destroy myself
While holding on for dear life
I am ready to go
I don't want to take you down with me
I secretly just want someone to save me
Save me from myself
I'm far worse than anyone else
I don't mean to frustrate you
I don't mean to scare you
I just want to feel safe again
I need to just stop.
WickedHope Dec 2014
Your mystifying
silence screams
louder than anything
and everything else.
Talk to me.
I know you're busy,
but my mind is all you.
WickedHope Dec 2014
Some          times
I    want    to    kiss    you
as   much   as   I   want   to   knock
your        teeth        out,
darling.
Supposed to be in the shape of lips. Whatever.
You infuriating intoxication.
Dec 2014 · 474
I Have Definitely Changed
WickedHope Dec 2014
When I was younger                                              
And more ignorant
                                              And blindly happy
I read
The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Now that I'm older
And unceasingly depressed
It all
Makes so much more
Sense
That annoying, perky, happy person?
Yeah, that used to be me.
- - -
It's not that I didn't understand the book,
I just couldn't quit relate to it back then.
I get it now. I get it all.
WickedHope Dec 2014
I'm here
I'm tired
It's okay
There's no use
I'll never leave
You just want to bleed
I care about you
I don't give a ****
Be strong for me
Leave me out of it
Stop it
I'm not going to stop you
I'll hold you down if I have to
*I'm only here until I find something better
You're driving me insane.
Am I a ******* game to you people?
. . . I'm spinning.
Dec 2014 · 1.2k
Drip, Drip, Down My Throat
WickedHope Dec 2014
******    fingernails

B l o o d y       p i n s

B l o o d y    r a z o r

I've  too  many  sins
My titles are getting more
... something
lately, aren't they?
- - -
I deserve to die.
WickedHope Dec 2014
For a moment, I can close my eyes and my senses blur,
My thoughts lose specificity and fade into nothingness.

I'm not worthless or any of those things I shout at myself.

My nose, my mouth, my throat, and my brain tingle;
I am swirling with the fragrance and taste of more than yesterday.

Perhaps it won't last, but for now I'm alone in my basement,
And I've lost track of the thoughts that aren't okay with that.
Shh, I'm not thinking.
WickedHope Dec 2014
I cried when Jimmy died

I fell in love with Ky

I wanted to be Marlene, or Lynn maybe

I fell in the snowbank with Charlie


I disappear like the Cheshire Cat
If you can get what each of these are from/who each character is,
You might be okay enough to be friends with me, maybe. If I had friends.
- - -
Sorry, I have writers block and my stuff is really ****** lately.
Dec 2014 · 657
I'm Top To Bottom Tonight
WickedHope Dec 2014
I'm just this lonely insomniac no
One has patience for because
I don't make sense and
He doesn't love me
And  I'd  Give
Anything
For him
To
Yeah, I don't get my titles  either.
I'm gonna go throw up now.
Dec 2014 · 2.1k
Can We Be Okay Someday?
WickedHope Dec 2014
If I promised not to hurt you,
                                    would you trust me not to?
If I told you I was sorry,
                                           would you believe me?
If I called you tonight,
                                          would you listen to my
                whimpers and whispers?
Surprise, I want you.
WickedHope Dec 2014
(I swear, this is the short version:)

music
dancing
pointe shoes
walking, just walking
sketching
photography
reading
writing
poetry
sunset
him
s­unrise
teaching
stories told
love, just love
an empty beach
a starry sky
a forest that's awake
a city that never sleeps
people who get it
people who get something else
hockey games
air hockey tournaments in his basement
driving, just driving
making people smile
cuddling
making people laugh
the sound of a deaf person laughing so fully
the moon
the sun
the wind
the rain
the snow
the noise
the nothing
Challenge put out by Raven.
- - -
I am really quite happy a lot,
but unfortunately my depression is rather persistent.
WickedHope Dec 2014
Sometimes,
I think about how
soft
my hair is
and about how relatively
small
my waist is,
and I'm okay
with myself...
... for about three minutes.
Then I'm back to 'normal.'
Dec 2014 · 1.8k
Parallels Between You Two
WickedHope Dec 2014
Andrew, Andrew
Stop letting me draw parallels between you two

Your name
Your parking spot
Your hair
Your glasses, sort of

Andrew, Andrew
Stop letting me draw parallels between you two

Staring at you in AP Chemistry (even though I'm still not in it)
Silly little cartoons on notes that make me smile
You stopping after Spanish 3
Your taste in anime and games

Andrew, Andrew
Stop letting me draw parallels between you two

Driving me home
Driving me insane with your poetry
Awake at all hours
Toying with my wants, desires

Andrew, Andrew
Stop letting me draw parallels between you two --
Be the one to follow through
They have more differences than similarities,
but the amount of similarities freaks me out when I think on them.
Dec 2014 · 992
Humans and I (10w)
WickedHope Dec 2014
I've been around
people
for too long
to have*
friends*.
I hate people, and I'm afraid of them.
Yet I'm terrified of my own loneliness.
Dec 2014 · 2.7k
Remember My Neon
WickedHope Dec 2014
There were flashing lights,
lasers, where we met.
There was loud music
and cheap drinks.

I found myself with the three of you,
only one of whom I'd met before.

That was the year I only wore plaid, mostly.
I was protesting make up at the time,
a leftover idea from my two year flowerchild period.
You were arrogant as ever,
self involved ****
with great taste in music.

I remember in all the conversations that followed
you'd compliment my impeccably perfect playlists.
I digress.

You stayed away from me that night,
let me hit on your friends.
But you got me that shirt.
I still wear it.

I had forgotten that night for over a year.
Even when I saw you next,
I didn't remember you.
I didn't remember you
and that has always bothered me.

I don't forget people.
I just don't.
Especially since it was both our first night out with that crowd.

You remembered me though.
And I'll never know why
I forgot and you remembered.

But now you forget me,
and I never shall forget you.
I promise you I'll never forget you.

And if you recall,
I don't break my promises to those I love.
WickedHope Dec 2014
I'm curious...

How did my ExxP parents
Give birth to two IxxJ children?

How did my 'ideal match' parents
Get such a ****** up marriage?

How does my T father
Really feel about and think of his F son?

How much does my ISFJ brother
Hate his INFJ sister for stunting his F growth,
Because our ESTP father, my shadow type, has annihilated mine?

How am I supposed to be able to predict
My ENFP mother's flip-flopping parenting,
Even if we're both NFs?
Finally decided to sit down and type my family (, ehhhhh...).
Only one I'm not certain of is my brother.
- - -
Yup.
You'll probably ignore/not get this, unless of course you're a certain INFP who I had in mind while writing. (******* The Wing)
Dec 2014 · 612
In Death, Like Life
WickedHope Dec 2014
I watch myself
Dig my own grave,
Out by the place
We muttered over broken glass,
Near the rock coated in ash.

            Will you be here tomorrow
            When I'm not?
            Will you be here tomorrow
            When I've gone?
            Will you be here tomorrow
            Mourning, or moved on?


I see myself whisper
Goodbyes
To the still trees and the riverbank,
I am inaudible when it matters,
As I always was.

I wonder if anyone will hear the shot,
Or if in death, like life,
I'll be ignored as well as forgot...
Dec 2014 · 396
He Asked
WickedHope Dec 2014
He asked me to stop for him
He asked me to be strong for him

I told him I shall
I told him I'm trying


And

I stop breathing
I'm finally *strong
Dec 2014 · 1.3k
Tattered, Not Touched
WickedHope Dec 2014
you
ask to
see me

but my hips
are a little too
ragged right
now

to have
your hands
grabbing
at them
Dec 2014 · 335
What's The Truth
WickedHope Dec 2014
That first night
The start of everything
You told me you were a liar
A skilled one at that
Why then do I believe you
Why do you ask me to
If you're just going to
Take everything back
I don't know why,
Why anything.
Dec 2014 · 574
Get Away (15w)
WickedHope Dec 2014
The river is right behind my house
In case I can't find another way out
Not that I haven't already tried that...
Dec 2014 · 699
Give Me Back My Pills
WickedHope Dec 2014
I am sorry
that I am rather obnoxious,
very unwanted,
and crazy needy.

I just always
seem to feel a bit better when
you take the time to
simply talk to me.
Title possesses no relevance. Oops -- if I cared.
My head hurts.
Next page