The thumb and ******* of my left hand pinched the neck of a sandglass. The sand leaving the top bulb was almost translucent, and although the glass of the miniature instrument was thick for its size, I could almost feel the friction of each grain as they slide down. As the sand formed a growing pile at the base of the bottom bulb, my ears became numb, and began to ache. My ears felt like the inside of a cathedral, the walls of which were collapsing. I look down to my right hand and see I am holding a shovel. Why do I need a shovel? I thought to myself. Then I felt my knees give way to the heaviness that surrounded them. I was sinking in sand, a giant ocean of sand. This game I had never played before now, but I somehow knew the rules. Drop the sandglass in my left hand and whatever force held this ocean around me in place would fall and shatter. Drop the shovel and I’d have no way to dig myself out. How does this dream end?
I've been having some very intense dreams of late, this poem describes one that had this last Saturday night.
Pulling barbs from deep within your heart Feel your soul be ripped apart And all the miles of chain you swallowed Must be thrown out Screaming as they entered in Your ears, your eyes, your mouth, your nose burning down your skin And the pain thickens in your head Like blood pooling on the ground beneath the dead Dripping down into your sight Inkiness as all the grime from past clouds of smoke are washed away In a Tidal wave of grace your ribs are bruised and crushed In the Violence of Love Ready to take the poison hidden in your bones Dig Deep! Let your old, iron stomach throw up all the nails whose place is in the wounds of Christ
My heart was shattered, but the tears keep flowing.
I’m crying because my delusion of who you were was shattered by the truth of who you are.
My trust is gone, and your promises mean nothing.
I don’t regret the past, I just regret the time spent wasted on you.
Everything beautiful always seems to slip away.
All I want to do right now is scream and let all my emotions flow out because inside it’s killing me.
You’re killing me.
Things may never be the same.
I’ll be broken, but only for a moment.
Cause it’s time to leave those feelings behind.
As I come to realize...
You’re not worth it.
You are the only person who cares for you. Winning or losing is the same for you. Take everything easy and with great care. Your worries will stay only with you. You can help yourself more than anybody ever has. Don’t expect anything from life or anybody else. Whatever life gives good or bad accept it. What you are is what you deserve, so learn to be alone. Survive.