My mind is mine,
at least I think it is,
but my body honestly,
I’m not so sure,

see I left home,
a runaway,
and most of my past,
is totally blurred,

sometimes I look at my hands,
and think they’re not mine,
sometimes I see my parents,
and think they’re not mine,

and I feel trapped in here,
like a Ghost in a shell,
and the only way I know to get these messages to you,
is through these letters I spell,

like a message in a bottle,
sent by First Class Mail,
letters messages bottles,
it’s all adding up as far as I can tell,

and I’d explain it all,
but I don’t want to get too specific,
it’s not that I’m scared I’m just not sure,
which side I’m on and to which alliance I’ve enlisted,

so I continue to just write in code,
to spell sentences with these letters,
ABC’s are my 1’s and 0’s,
because I program Emotionalist,

and that’s Emotionalist,
not Emotionless,
there’s a difference,
please make a note of it,

note,
letters,
here we go again,
for worse or for better,

they made me a weapon,
but not the kind that kills,
they taught me how to destroy,
by teaching me how to build,

see whenever I feel anxious,
and people tell me to chill,
I tell my self to behave,
because it’s just the Ghost in my shell,

see my mind is mine,
at least I think it is,
but my body honestly,
I’m not so sure…

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

Mims Oct 8

I don't go to therapy,
I watch movies.
some kind of wonderful
pretty in pink
the perks of being a wallflower
heathers
the outsiders
the goonies
These movies are good enough therapy for me.

I watch them all religiously,
These movies have saved me,
Over and over again.

I love movies
A Sep 30

He was enjoying
Man of Steel
While I was enjoying
the company of my superman.

I didn’t like L.Lane for Kal El
Britney Lyn Sep 19

Tell me that you still look for me in a crowd out in public. Tell me I live in your mind, that I don't just cross it.
I wrote down the times that you were eating me alive. The times I couldn't breath the times I did more than cry. I wrote about the passion, the love, the hate. I wrote about sidewalks, the movies and cake. I miss the moments we would meet eyes, I miss the moments we went on nighttime drives. I think about details like the curls in your hair, the way you stared. Your eyes lit a fire I have yet to put out. A fire that's destroyed me So just tell me you understand, this way that I feel. I need the closer so maybe I can heal.

Please let me heal.

a subsistence is lore
though an endless partition rule
with each lesson but an artifice
that will fix your school
as a victor in control  
now he's a gargoyle
where diamonds are Royal
and ludicrous teachers now
sprout their classrooms with education
with so much fun that fine arts will carry the load

Lucas in the classroom
Aaron LA Lux Aug 1

I can’t remember to forget you,
I can’t forget to remember you,

I can’t remember to forget,
I can’t forget to remember,

I can’t remember to,
I can’t forget to,

I can’t remember,
I can’t forget,

I can’t,
I can’t,

I,
I,

I remember,
once,
you told me to watch Memento,
that must of been over two decades ago,

it’s interesting how we remember little trivial things,
from years ago,
but somehow we sometimes forget important things,
that happen moments ago,

Selective memory is a thing,
and so is selective amnesia,
I suppose in some ways my memories of you,
are kept inside me as personal mementos,

I miss you,
I miss the life we never had together,
I miss you massive fridge,
I miss our days in Bali,

I miss making love,
with you like you were the only person in the world,
and I mean that honestly,
because in those moments you were the only person,

the only person,
that showed me hope,
the only person,
that showed me love,

when I met you I was a street kid,
I had no money and no class,
but you took me under your angel wings,
and I will always remember that,

I can’t remember to forget you,
I can’t forget to remember you,

I can’t remember to forget,
I can’t forget to remember,

I can’t remember to,
I can’t forget to,

I can’t remember,
I can’t forget,

I can’t,
I can’t,

I,
I,

I know,
that you’re married now,
happily in fact,
and I’m not trying to mess with that,

please don’t take these words,
as an invitation of any sorts,
I wish you all the best this world has to offer,
because honestly that’s what you deserve,

sure,

I love you,
I can not deny that in any way,
but that love,
is so far beyond this physical plane,

I know how dysfunctional I am,
and I’ve given up all hopes in making a family,
so when I see that you are married,
I truly pray to God that that marriage for ever after progresses happily,

and actually,
I only wrote this to tell you that I finally saw Memento,
and I don’t even if you remember telling me to watch it,
I guess that’s part of what Selective Memory Loss is,

or rather selective amnesia,

anyways whatever I’ll just get back to what I was doing,
so that you can get back to what you were doing,
which is continuing to live this life and create this memories,
or erase these memories either way I hope you get whatever you’re pursing,

I can’t remember to forget you,
I can’t forget to remember you,

I can’t remember to forget,
I can’t forget to remember,

I can’t remember to,
I can’t forget to,

I can’t remember,
I can’t forget…

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

author of multiple best selling poetry books.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1548700746

There are two half-full cups of coffee on my desk
(and one in my car).
But you'd make me more in the morning
If I asked.
Like how you would drive my car in the rain,
Because I can't see the road
(even though I never told you I couldn't)
And then make me watch bad movies.
You're better than the rain,
You're the whole monsoon season,
Shaking the whole world up with yourself,
And making it better every time.

The factories of shining films,
The sets of Hollywood,
Dividing worlds, combining worlds,
Do shape a certain mood.

When times are late and dark and still,
All kinds of scenes are seen,
Presenting many pretty sights,
Upon the silver screen.

The makeup's fresh and still not used,
To make up painted looks,
In rooms who are filled with powder,
Adorning clothes, adorning locks.

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