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J Dec 2020
breathe for me,
just one deep breath.
let me see the rise of your chest.
i've got you, we're going to have a little fun, princess.

down into the depths, we go
don't squirm.
you know how I hate when you mess me up.
calm down, brat, i've got you.

look at you! my hands wrap around your neck so nicely!
it's almost as if you were made for me
come on, darling, eyes on me
i like the way you smile, so smile for me, hm?

oh yes, that's the one.
my pretty little princess, you're entirely precious
how innocent you are for me
hard to tell if you're whining or moaning, love.

does it hurt when I touch you?
it's your fault, you beg for it, don't you?
it's your fault that you've bruised
its okay, pretty baby, purple suits your face well.

flinch again and I'll hit you harder.
aw, tears? you know how I feel about crying.
god you're so cute, I could **** you!
you're such a tease for death, hm?

you screamed so beautifully when my blade was against your neck
have you ever been touched like this before?
no? not by anyone but me?

you're not meant to know anything
except for me,
except for the ways that I make you feel.
I'm treating you better than anyone else ever would.

i like the way you look
all bound up, just for me, skin tied tight
do the rope burns feel unbearable?
just a little longer, love.

you'll get excited to see me soon.
no more of that pretty little fear
every touch, you'll crave, you'll beg for.
you're mine now, aren't you? say it. say "I'm all yours."

you'll love every second of life i grant you
i'll show you what it means to want.
oh yes, you'll want to be mine forever.
i'm the only person who can really love you.

speak when spoken to,
talk to me.
don't ******* run.
you're so cute when you're scared, give me a kiss.

i like how you taste, muah
your cracked lips spill that lovely red juice
you've got me all hot and bothered, now, fix it.
tell me you love me.

i hate that i have to let you go
but you know the saying, right?
oh, of course, I love you!
but that's a weakness of mine, isn't it?

god, I love how you fight until the very end.
claws against my hands, raking my flesh
make me bleed, I won't loosen my grip
you used to love how it felt to be choked

you told me these stories, stories about you swimming with your family
I'm only giving you exactly what you wanted,
you like swimming, huh, baby?
breathe for me.

I'm not hurting you, ******* *****.
why must you fight me, I thought we were past this.
I could let you go, I might. I almost might.

oh, life! the life drains from forest eyes
see plants need and love rain, but you can drown them rather easily
you're so weak, hm?
you know how I feel about eye contact, but this is different.

don't look at me, darling, this is our goodbye
you're not supposed to look back
yet here I am not looking away either.
not too much longer, and you'll be gone, right? right?

right. gone.
your hand lays limp on my own, I already miss your nails.
did i ever tell you how much I loved your hair?
it's heavenly now that it floats around you.

I hate that you made me wet my clothes,
yours cling to you rather nicely, I suppose.
i told you to breathe for me, we had our fun
you really did a number on my hand, love, it's beautiful.

why are you just laying there?
get up. now. we're not playing anymore.
oh no

No, no no no, we were playing, just like we always do
like when you let my knife twist it's way into you
it traces my name in its cursive whisper
you liked it, you said, you loved it

get up, now, please.
I said please, princess.
you belong to me, get the **** up.
you're so ******* useless.

this isn't funny.
it's not funny.
come back.
****, I didn't mean it

tell me you love me again.
i didn't give you permission to die.
I said breathe for me
J Nov 2020
I will
do just that
until i'm nothing
but art

something to be admired
would you like that?
would you like it?
do you like art?

why are you crying about it?

I have a towel, it won't
get on your
precious ******* clothes

don't call someone.

I'm fine
happens all the time
just shut up
help me clean.

why the ****
are you looking
at me
like that

like I'm disgusting
like I'm *******

it's just paint.
taste it
do you want to touch it?
the paint's running off the canvas, let me get that.

not a lot of people get it
not a lot of people like it.
you like art, don't you?

do you like to paint?
I've been inside your backpack.
I've seen you in your hoodies.
I've seen it all.

don't look surprised.
the little lighter in the side?
i like it
i wanted to light myself on fire.

do you burn your art?
do you burn the canvas?
sometimes it's frustrating
so you want to ruin it.

sometimes it's okay
to ruin things.
Daddy ruined mommy
mommy ruined you.

let me see.
don't scream. let me.
let me ******* see.
you saw mine, it's only fair, right?

there it is.
you've dug hard, yeah?
do you like it?

have you shown anyone else?
they saw but you didn't want them to.
the other ones reacted awfully, huh?

you're lucky I'm here.
I'll love you regardless,
you're not a freak to me.
just a bit messy.

i like messy.
your blood tastes nice, yknow.
i want to open them wider.
watch it flow.

shut up.
stop crying.
no one cares.

there. not too bad.
I just want to see your insides.
i will know how you work.
is that okay?

I'll carve my name next
it would look pretty, right?
you do it, too,
on me.

we can just leave each other
little messages.
i love you,

you don't have to worry anymore
we're gonna keep each other's secrets
sometimes art is a group project.
no one gets to see but me.

does it hurt?
you'll get used to it
you'll crave it.
just like i do.

stop sniffling,
you jumping will make me mess up.
you want to hurt.
not die, yet, right?

sometimes, when I'm alone
at night
or day
or anywhere

i paint little flowers.
little smiles
little words
little things


you do too,
i saw it on your thighs.
i saw the words.
did that say "hate?"

what do you hate.
tell me.
tell me it all.
I'm going to find out.

I've been through some ****.
we all have.
gotta cope some way.

clean yourself up
don't ******* touch me.
i say when you touch me.
i say.

you're so soft. just grab the brush.
grab the brush, do it.
I'm painting.
I'm painting.

we're gonna paint the sky, the stars.
nah, ******' with you.
we're drawin' grass right now.
see where that goes.

you look shocked.
stop looking.
you're cute when you're afraid.
relax, I'll live.

i wish someone would tell me it's
******* fine.
god do NOT ******* touch me.
I'll **** you.

I'm going to die alone.
I'll pretend that I'm fine with it.
I'll pretend that I'm not playing with the crippled canvas.
how much until it rips in half, i wonder.

I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so ******* sorry.
i think that i think too much. i don't want your ******* pity, i want to **** myself up. jesus **** there's somethin' wrong with me.
Alek Mielnikow Apr 2020
He has sensitive teeth, yet 
he sips frigid liquids for 
the same reason he goes out 
of his way to stamp on ants.

by Aleksander Mielnikow | Alek the Poet
On one hand, this obviously has a deeper meaning, but on the other hand, what an idiotic ****!
Agatha Prideaux Apr 2020
I remember the creases of your lips and tongue back then
So I write this love song with my paper and pen
(And now I'm back at it again)

During one hazy road trip, that one night way past ten
Even though I don't remember where or when
I remember the creases of your lips and tongue back then

When I close my eyes, I see you walking ahead
With your open hands inviting mine as you led
So I write this love song with my paper and pen

Your presence felt like that of a thousand men
When I feel safe in your arms when my tears have been shed
(And now I’m back at it again)

Even when you leave the words "I love you" unsaid
I feel it when you **** me thoroughly in bed
I remember the creases of your lips and tongue back then

You kiss your fist before it meets my cheek in counts of ten
Where flowers would bloom in violet blue and red
So I write this love song with my paper and pen

There were nights I'd pray to god as I said
"Please, let him be the last one, amen"
(And now I’m back at it again)

I close my eyes; I see you walking away as you fled
Mouthing me words that made my world drop dead
I remember the creases of your lips and tongue back then

I open my eyes; I cried and teared and pled
But you didn't look back even with my legs spread
So I write this love song with my paper and pen

Tried forgetting you but I loved you more instead
I thought I'm already done making you stay inside my head
—(And now I’m back at it again)
Day 12 of #NaPoWriMo 2020. It's been two days since I wrote something. I've been having relapses, but I finally wrote something. It's crazy how you can feel like you're being so accomplished and productive in your manic episodes and then feel like drowning and dying, not skipping a beat when you're having a depressive one. And this piece is a reflection of my past---as one of my friends said. It's me, pouring it off my chest.
Zack Ripley Dec 2019
My mind wants to sleep,
But my body stays awake.
I'm starting to wonder
If my body's a *******
Because all it does is ache
A little out there lol. Title is a reference to the John mayer song your body's a wonderland
julianna Feb 2020
Give me the one that hurts
I can take the pain
I promise I’ll bite my tongue
I promise I won’t complain
If you beat me blue,
My heart will beat red
I’ll bend till’ I break
I’ll bend till’ I break
I’ll cover my scars,
Like good girls do and
Speak to the darkness there
I want to hurt
And dream of you,
Scream your name
Conceal the bruises
I’ll bend till I break
I dream while lying awake
If I’m besides you,
I’ll never love another
Your self-destructing prophecy
In it, please include me
Inspired by the song Bend till I Break by Maria Mena. I explored this feeling that I get when I really like someone, a determination, a flame that buckle down and endure  any heartbreak that may face me if I pursue a relationship with them. And I explored it to this masochistic extent. So  please don’t take this literally.
Marcus Collins Dec 2019
You're a slave to my games.

You're just a sucker for pain.

It seems the hole eating away in your chest has gotten bigger.

You hear these songs that make you desire a destructive tool on your skin.

A flaming whip to leave ****** stripes down your back, knife point against your soft inner thighs, my fingers around your throat leaving you gasping for air.

You want to cry, you feel hungry teeth sink into your neck leaving it sore for the next two days, I want your body open and bare, exposed and shackled.

You crave pain again and again.

I want blood, sweat, and *** dripping off of you.

I want you to feel your fear again.

I want to chain you up, I want to tie you down, I'm just a sucker for your pain.

This thirst of yours is one that I alone can quench.

I am done with watching you float,
I want to watch you drown in your imagination as I feel your heart beating faster and faster under the weight of my hand holding you down.
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