Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
39.2k · Feb 2018
Candy Grin
Iska Feb 2018
The false crisendo of your words
Grate against my every nerves.
Wandering round
With ****** feet
How many expectations
Have I failed to meet?

What more do you want
Of my sorry soul
When I cannot bring
My self to breath anymore?

So I watch your hopes
all tumbling down
It feels quite cold
Down here in the ground.
I'm sorry that I wasn't enough
I tried to be what you asked of me
But I didnt think it'd be So tough.

My weary bones creak and ache,
My wrist all burned and ******,
Can you not be quite just once for my sake?

I understand the gravity.
I know Im failing at life,
But you dig right in,
spreading the cavity,
How to ignore the strife?

Whispered arguments bleed through the walls
How much longer until we fall?
Through the floor straight down to hell
All because I could not tell.

Should I weep in pain,
And slave away,
To satisfy you're whimsical ways?
Should I sell my soul,
And bite my tongue,
Just to keep the wallet full?
But "your so young,
You've no excuse,
So bend your back,
Put those hands to use."

Welcome to life.
Put away your pain,
No time for strife,
No time for play,
Just nod you head,
Exit the stage,
And get a job,
So you'll be payed.

I'd sooner live a poor church mouse,
Then lose myself in persute of a house.
But no, I'll smile my candy grin,
And talk with sugar sweet.
Hide the weight of the pain,
So your expectations, I'll meet.
Some times it's just not enough.
10.8k · Feb 2018
Bloody Rose
Iska Feb 2018
'Why is it so painful to grow?'

A seed.
Just a seed buried under the ground.
Under the pressure of the soil,
It fights to grow.

The seed cracks,
such a sturdy little seed,
opens with a painful snap.

A sprout coils out.
Out of the cracked little seed.
A sprout now crushed under,
Under the pressure of the unforgiving ground.

Yet still... It grows.

A little sprout,
Now reaches up.
Up and away from the little seed,
and up to the light of the sun.

Pushing and groaning it bursts out.
Out from the unforgiving ground.
Yet now new dangers are to be found.

Will it be trampled
Or eaten alive?
The possibilities are endless,
The ways it could die.

And still.. it grows.

The sprout toils endlessly,
always stretching and growing
Reaching for the crimson sun.

The rain falls down
beating upon the sprout.
Pelting it's skin and whipping it about.
It skin hardens painfully,
and sprout becomes stem.

And still It grows.
The stem keeps reaching,
Stretching to the sky.

The stem then splits
It rips in two a bud appears
A little bud,
With so much to do.

Then the bud breaks
A crack appears
a petal unfurls from within.

Then it's a bloom.
Such a sweet little thing.
Until the crack stretches
So the bloom can grow
In to the beautiful rose
We've all come to know.

And still.. it grows.

Thorns burst free
Breaking out of the stem
And petals billow and grow in the breeze.

Then you see me,
And my beauty delights you,
So you wish to see me every day.
And your scissors encircle me
To give you your way.

They cut me in half.
They slice me in two.
being a rose,
There was naught I could do.

You carry me with you,
Your hands coated in my blood,
I'm dying slowly,
All for your love.

And now... I can't grow.

So as I bleed and wither in pain,
You place me in a vase
Or press me in a book,
All to save the bloom for another day.

And as I gasp for air,
Among your dry pages,
You leech me of all life,
Perfectly preserved
just so I could last the ages.

Or else I am drowning
In glass and water
My beauty wasted
hour by hour
Day by day
All to satisfy your whimsical ways.

And now all I wish to know,
'Why is it so painful to grow?'
7.4k · Nov 2017
Broken Poetry
Iska Nov 2017
Hello.
I am the trending poem.                                                            ­            
         you see me and I make you feel alive
                                             so you like me and re-post me
                                                              ­    then you leave me alone to die.
Hello,
I am your forgotten lines.
             you created me with a careful love
                                                          an­d decisive rhymes
                                      and then to the bottom of your page I'm shoved.
Hello
I am forgotten, alone and unloved
                           a faded smile a broken dove
                                               I once was beautiful, touching.
                                                       ­   now, I've been replaced, I'm nothing.
7.4k · Dec 2018
Childish Chance
Iska Dec 2018
A chance

All that I ask for is a chance
A chance to meet and not divide
We’ve played this game,
Time and again
And throughout it all
we still remained friends
But to write off someone
based on what you lack
Is a sorry thing
that you have a knack
Of repeating again and again.
I’m not begging for you
to be chummy ole pals
Only I plead for you to meet
without a judgmental scowl.
Though a childish endeavor
I know it to be,
For once I just wish
You could see what I see.
With out the taint of jealousy.
To give a chance and then to decide
Is one thing
But to allow yourself to be clouded with envy and fear
Is a prison noone should be forced to endure.
~Iska
5.2k · Mar 2018
Unplugged
Iska Mar 2018
We are all so clever,
With our posts and our lies,
And honest comments deleted
To wither and die.
Filters for beauty free of flaws
So we may withstand societies claws.
So we upload
pictures, stories and posts.
I wounder what is it
we long for the most?
To be accepted?
To be seen?
To cause envy?
Or Jealousy?
What is the point?
The whole worlds plugged in,
And we all have hundreds of thousands of “friends”.
yet who is it that
truly cares for us in the end?
Face to face?
What a disgrace!
Letters to send?
This must come to an end!
Written word?
Thats simply absurd!
Memories made?
They still do that these days?!
Now this is a crazy idea..
Just a thought..
But,
What if we all....
Just unplugged?
Not once or twice
And call it a night,
But more like a day?
To spend as you may?
To feel the sun?
To laugh with friends?
And make beautiful memories
to carry with you til the end?
Enjoy the moment of pure bliss,
Without
filters, comments or harsh judgements.
To be yourself
and embrace your life,
Then when your done
You can replug.
And check on all your comments and likes.
And see which was the thing you remember at night.
I get it.
I do it too
But sometimes you need to stop
And just be you.
4.2k · Sep 2018
Sunshine.
Iska Sep 2018
You think that you are ugly.
But my darling,
how could you  possibly know?
You can’t see what I see,
still,
how could these opinions possibly grow?
you knock the breath right out of me.
with the way the sunlight hits your eyes
And I think my heart just flutters inside.
The way you tilt your head as you laugh
and when i'm with you,
I can never tell if only seconds or infinities have past
The way your ears turn pink when embarrassed
The way you spin in that pretty pink dress
The way you hold me in your arms
And smile
As you call me your love.

And I

Can’t help

But melt
Iska Dec 2017
to me you are a star of gold
a glowing asterisk
I wish I could hold
though you seem so far away
I truly wish we could meet some day
but alas we shall only meet
through our words,
spilling and falling across this page.
we are the unseen family
bound by art
which is better
because we dwell in the heart
3.0k · Aug 2018
Night sky
Iska Aug 2018
City lights
Blot out starry nights
Burning so bright
We’ve lost our sight...
2.7k · Feb 2018
Beaten Old Shoes
Iska Feb 2018
although age in and of itself
does not declare experience
or the depth of knowledge one has gained
and in my opinion is silly for anyone
to think otherwise
I'm always told
"your so wise for one so young."
Or
"oh I remember what it was like to be 19
and think you know the world."
Yet what they refuse to acknowledge
is that in 19 short years,
I may have experienced both
horrors and beauty
that they have yet to dream let alone see.
Who is to say that age is a boundary of the mind?
That inexperience creates an age divide?
Who are they to claim that we would be consumed
when they have yet to wander in our beaten old shoes?
Who are they to judge me of a story
they have yet to hear?
All becuse they refuse to lend an ear?
2.6k · Aug 2018
Ace
Iska Aug 2018
Ace
Every day the cards were played
Everyday you lost
I won.
Every day you’d come back
With declarations of future success,
And when proved false you’d smile,
All lopsided and sheepish,
With a “next time perhaps”
And now your gone.
And next time won’t come.
I guess I won after all.
You always said
I was a queen of diamonds
But my dear,
You were the Ace of hearts.
To Everett
If there is a place after this life,
I expect to see that lopsided grin
From across the table
May we play cards again
who knows?
I may even let you win...
(Or not)
:’(
2.2k · Oct 2018
My little Always
Iska Oct 2018
I always bother you
though I never try.
I hate the tears
but I cant keep from the cry.
you are everywhere I can never find
everywhere
but by my side
and its pathetic,
I  know it is

and yet...
I cant keep the panic at bay

and still....
anxiety steals my words before i can say

i m i s s y o u

i l o v e y o u

w i l l y o u s t i l l r e t u r n

w i l l i e v e r l e a r n

w i l l y o u l o v e m e i f i d o
    
w i l l y o u l o v e m e i f i d o n o t
to
                    the bird
                                                    who flew
                                                                               away
2.2k · Apr 2019
Broken love
Iska Apr 2019
You say that I’ve changed,
I’m simply not the same.
A stranger that stole
Your little sisters face.
What a disgrace,
To be so misplaced.
But tell me dear siblings,
How would you know?
You never see me.
I have bent over backwards
All for you.
My “loving” family,
I have broken my heart
Again and again
On the cold steel of your eyes.
I have choked on the storm
Of your torrent of lies.
I have cut myself open
And poured my blood all over
the razor whip of your cruel words.
I have cried for you
I have died  inside for you
And when you were jealous,
because I could fly
I let you tear off my wings
And chain me to the ground.
Because I was told your love
Had to be earned
I did everything you asked of me.
I gave you my everything
And then a little more
Only to hear you demand for more.
Your eyes stayed cold
And words cut deeper still
I froze from your gaze
And collapsed from the blood loss
And you were insulted
And as you broke me
You laughed when you snapped me in two
Then left me behind,
As you always do.
You expect me to take the pain
And rise once more
On trembling limbs
To trail on after you
So you can break me some more.
You demand I be there should you have the need
To always be willing to let you watch me bleed.
And yet you claim that It is I,
Who has changed,
That I am simply not the same.
A stranger that stole
Your little sisters face.
And as I lay bleeding
I realized you were leeching
The life from my soul
And I felt the betrayal swallow me whole
I gasp for air,
Running out of breath
From the noose of expectations
You’ve tied round my neck.
2.1k · Nov 2017
A Poets Art
Iska Nov 2017
My dear,
they say that a poem is a work of art.
they say that It is emotion,
pouring from your bleeding heart.
and I find that to be quite true,
but not every emotion is happiness anew.
the sadness the anger and pain and fear,
they each have a place to reside in here.
for such raw emotion does set the tide
for the torrent of words
that in a poem, does reside.
2.0k · Oct 2017
A life unloved
Iska Oct 2017
I drank his acid,

he drank my fear.

He slit my wrists,

I swallowed the blade.

He lit the match

And I was ablaze.

He killed me,

And I let him.
1.9k · Nov 2017
Broken bonds
Iska Nov 2017
tis a sad day indeed when family turns to strangers.
when you look into the face that you have loved for years
and only see uncertainty and distance.
you know what I'm talking about....
when you dress up for their visits.
and worry what they think.
where stiff conversations
and insincere smiles dwell.

what happened?

I cannot remember a time with out you...
yet I find my self unsure as to how to spell your name.
I cannot remember our last laugh.
not these pretentious giggles
but cheek burning, tummy clutching, eyes tearing laughter.
I cant clearly see your face. hear your voice.
I cant remember your catch phrases. your jokes.

What happened?

I know not your friends, nor where you sleep at night.
what has caused this heart wrenching chasm to form?
I have loved you!
Where are you?
I have fought, kicked and screamed with and for you,
who do you fight for now?
What severed these bonds we swore would never brake?

What happened?

was it me?
was I not there?
did I send you away?
Oh the heart breaking pain...
I would do anything for you,
even now,
although I know not the person you have become.
I would die for you.
and I do... a little more each day.
would you do the same?

What happened?

why did you leave me?
I am your sister, your blood,
yet you are no where in sight.
I miss you..... oh God I miss you.

What happened?

tell me and i will fix it.
I swear i will,
because, dear sister i miss you
so much that  it hurts.
I wake up at night
and I wounder, are you still alive?
If so then why do i feel so empty.

tis a sad day when your name falls from my lips
and sounds clumsy. as if it didn't belong.
I miss you...
What happened to you?
to our bond?
was it I who did you wrong?
Im sorry i Let you go...
and you will never know
1.8k · Oct 2017
Nymphs Sacrifice
Iska Oct 2017
Let me tell you a story.
A Human is walking through woods, where he stops under a tree and gives a sullen sigh. When a beautiful maiden calls from among the leaf leaden branches above,
"Whatever's the matter?"
The Man looks up, startled to see the fair lady in the tree and as she climbs down to stand before him he tells her of his sorrow. His friend was leaving him, to a land very far from where they now stood. the maiden states that many people are often in search of living a life different from the one they are currently leading and asks what else is bothering him.
He states that he's.... lost.
"You spend your whole life looking up at the moon, terrified that you are wasting your life away."
She says, and he agrees.
"Then why not go out and live the life you dream of living?"
He searches for an answer but cannot find one, save for the fact that he feels stuck.
"You are only stuck if you wish to be."
Getting irritated by her wise answers, he asks what life she would lead. The maiden looks up at the many trees towering above them, her eyes watching the light dance with the leaves as she answers,
"I would want to travel, to breathe."
The man states the wishing to breathe is an odd desire indeed. She just kept looking up at the sky as she continued,
"All of these trees are working tirelessly day and night to give us air to breathe. I would make sure that each and every breath had meaning. That with every intake of air carried the taste of adventure and every breath out holds a memory with it. I would try my hardest to ensure that I did not let a single breath go to waste. We all spend so much time ensnared in our small world, dreaming of something more beyond what we know, but refusing to go and seek it out. I wish to not merely exist, but to LIVE."
The man asks why she doesn't heed her own advice,
"Alas," she sighs,
"I am a Tree nymph and cannot move beyond the roots buried deep within the earth, or the tree will die, and I, with it."
Suddenly filled with pity for the beautiful nymph he states that he may know of a spell that could release her from her binds to the tree and allow her to pursue her desire. she then shakes her head and with a small, sad smile, she tells him she could never do such a thing. When he asks why she says
"I have spent my whole life caring for this tree, we are entwined together. To leave it in pursuit of my own dreams, would be leaving it to die. this I cannot do."
The man shakes his head, confused.
"It is simply a tree," he states "there are thousands more just like it."
"Ah," she says, wishing for a way to further explain herself,
"This is not just any tree. Somewhere out there, there is someone relying on this tree to breathe so that they may live their lives to the fullest they can. Weather it be a small child learning to walk and explore this beautiful land for the first time, or may it be an elder who has lived a long life, with many stories to tell, they are relying on this tree and to take it away so that I may go about life the way I dream, would be a selfish thing indeed."
Touched by her selfless sacrifice the man exclaims that it was hardly fair, that so many people remain wasting their lives away within their paper worlds settling for existing due to laziness and fear, while others, are dreaming of the freedom to actually live while imprisoned by their sacrifices.
"Is their no other way?"
He questions, but the maiden shakes her head.
"Well is there any way I can help?"
Her eyes light up and she smiles. A smile that is as warm and bright as the summer sun.
"Why yes, there is. you can go and live your life to the fullest you possibly can, because, you too, are relying on somebody's sacrifice to be free to live. So don't waste it, and when you have aged and grow weary, with snow kissed hair and wizened eyes, share your stories with those who follow. Share your sorrows and your triumphs, and all that lie in between. Start your story here, on the day your sorrows have lead you here, to the Nymph who dreams to live, inspire them to do the same and then I will know that my sacrifice has not been in vain."
1.7k · Sep 2018
SunDrop
Iska Sep 2018
You asked me why I love you
And here’s a couple of reasons why:

You hold me like you can feel the
World, twirling on its axis
And if you let go we will both start spinning in an unending dance
And as we drift and glide among the stars we will slip and slid in the affections of the heart.
So instead you hold me
And I hold you, as if I never want to let you go, because while the stars are breathtaking, they lack the warmth of home. And while the dance is dizzying it’s hard to breathe without you.

Your eyes.
I could go on for days about your eyes. They entice me in their depths. The way the sunlight hits them in a wave of golden sparkles and then, you smile and I feel like i have a sunset for blood and a stardust heart. The way they light up as you behold the world.
The way your pupils dialate when they behold me. As if I am a star bright enough to burn away the world until it is just a breath, and a blur of color between our heart beats.

Your voice.
The way it rises and falls with the crisendo of your emotions. The way your breathing breaks up the beat of a steady sentence. The way it caresses my name like the breeze caresses a lilac blossom on a spring morn. The way it lulls me into a dreamy trance from which I have no desire to escape.

Your heart.
The way it’s song shifts, and tempo picks up, just a bit as I run my fingers over the smooth surface of your skin. The comforting rhythm beneath my ear as we match breathing before falling into dreams grasp. The way your heart strings tug and tangle when you fall in front of someone in need. How it pangs for those who have more misfortune then you. The way it’s song floats around me like wishes on the wind and tangled with my own until my own beat seems infinitely more beautiful and alien at the same time.

I have this irrational fear
That you will leave me
To chase after a brighter star.
And I don’t know how to react
But I do know, that if you did..
        I would let you.
And every night I would look up at the moon and we would agree
that you and the sun are alike.
Both so pretty and both just out of reach. And I would find solace amoung the moonbeams as I watch you spin dazzlingly amoung the sun as you dance between the stars.
1.5k · Nov 2017
Monsters
Iska Nov 2017
the beasts that claw and creep within
are often wearing human skin.
1.5k · Nov 2017
meaningless
Iska Nov 2017
have you ever said a word
over and over and over again,
until it sounds like a jumble of sounds
or read it over and over so much that
the letters swim and blur
until the word looks and sounds so ridiculous,
foreign on your ears,
like it suddenly doesn't mean anything..
its just a pile of letters and a gurgle of your voice?

that's what your name is now to me.
its been so long....
that i never had to say it over and over
or read it a million times....
you just faded away.
1.5k · Oct 2018
Poor Poets
Iska Oct 2018
genius comes in fragments
poetry comes in slivers of sentences
open to all
yet mastered by none
merely mortals weaving a web
a web of words
of truths and lies
of things made plain
and things we hide
and as we navigate this artful web
we realize just how much we are out of our depth
1.5k · Jan 2019
The Child
Iska Jan 2019
I met a child
On a warm summers day
Who reminded me
How to laugh and to play
Round and around
The pool we would swim
Caving to our every whim
And in that child,
I found a spark
That breathed the life
Back into my broken heart
To a Barnacle.
The best Barnacle.
1.4k · Oct 2018
Wander
Iska Oct 2018
When I was younger I used to think
that when a falling star crashes into the earth,
it shattered into stardust
and from there grows a forest.
1.3k · Nov 2017
Response
Iska Nov 2017
unspoken words spill through the air,
dripping and falling both vile and fair.
unspoken love unspoken hate,
I see it all no need to blate.
In anger your vision clouds in reds,
when cold clarity smears my vision instead.
In sadness you worry and weep in pain,
wondering if perhaps I'm just not the same.
But sorrows, I have no time to attend,
all I can do is assure your still my friend.
In happiness you claim, I'm the best friend you've had,
when in reality I'm wondering, if you've gone quite mad. :)
I see it all, both old and new..
from the silent worry to
the unspoken "I love you"s
to this I say no need to fret
for you I can not abandon yet.
and as to the love, you keep silent in fear,
you know that I cannot help you here...
I belong to another, yet i still hold you dear,
and know, that as a friend, I shall always be here.
for the eyes of one man alone to hold
for to him this poem is carved from gold.
1.2k · Dec 2018
Flickering Nights
Iska Dec 2018
You feel like fire to me.
All warm and beautiful
With the ability to
Burn
Me
Alive
Mesmerizing to behold
As you dance around with a
glittering spark in your eyes
As you always seem to
Draw
Me
In
And entice me to dance with you.
So beautiful in your destruction
With the ability to burn away the darkest of nights.
1.0k · Dec 2017
War Cry
Iska Dec 2017
We are not poets.
Nor are we artists.
         We are the bleeding hearts
                                                   Daring to rebel.
Society cuts this world into careful little blocks.
Devided by cold cut stones forced to comply.
And yet,
             If you look a little closer, you will notice,
                  Not us, for you will never see our face
   But you will see our fragments.
             The pieces of us we leave behind for you
                Scattered among these cold stone walls
Words we have carved into the stone
             With our own ****** nails.
                              Proof that we exsist.
                                               Proof that you can to.
So here we are,
                    Strings of letters
                                       And scattered lines,
                                 All echoing the same war cry.
                          “We Are Here.”
                                                    "Are You?"
921 · Dec 2017
Glass Girl
Iska Dec 2017
A girl in a snow globe, delights in her world,
she watches, enchanted, as the snow falls down,
it drifts and glides and swirls around
before finally landing upon the ground.
until one day she notices the glass,
and she understands (realizes)  the prison at last.
I may turn this into a longer poem or a short story.
843 · Jan 2018
A Tale Tangled In String
Iska Jan 2018
We all tell woes Of shattered things.
Scattered dreams and pretty things.
All tangled up in endless string.

A string of letters,
Of words and lines
Mixed with emotions
and beauty and lies

Stories of girls broken inside,
Of boys with more blood to dry.
Of Secrets and lies hidden away
Of adults trying to make it just one more day.

Some are well told
Others a jumble of string
Yet in them all one uniting thing.

The audience.

Ah yes, those brave souls, willing to read.
To read the rambling of broken things.
Of flickering poets crying to be heard.
Of lost souls with pathways blurred.

So gather all your tangled string
And join in the cacophony of broken things
As we spin around this shattered ring
I ask you of one simple thing...

Do you smear yourself in ink and pain,
Just for the number of readers you'll gain?
Or is it an art to be admired?
Something to live on long after we expire?

No, if that's true I'm afraid
you've got it all twisted,
its not for the audience that poetry existed.
It's for the poet, tangled in string,
It gives them a chance to create the whole thing.

A world where no one chooses what goes
Save for the poet who truly knows.
The reason to write, To fight and bleed,
Is because we all long to be tangled in string
Why do you write?
What is the purpose?
791 · Apr 2019
Sea breeze
Iska Apr 2019
The wistful winds
toss the waves up high
As the sea dare Try
To caress lady Luna’s sky.
773 · Nov 2018
Addicted to you
Iska Nov 2018
Ragged breaths
Dilated eyes
The sweet truth
The hazy lie
Breathy laughter
Loving the high
Sensual embrace
As I chase
After you
Addicted
through and through
752 · May 2019
Last Place
Iska May 2019
I am not your number one
And that is ok
I have accepted this
As my fate
Inescapable
You see,

I...
will never come first.

And that’s ok.

When I tell you I love you more than anything,
You will never reply the same.

And that’s ok.

I will never be your first

And that’s ok

It’s ok.
It’s ok.
It’s ok.

Her smile will forever make you day

And that’s ok
(I wouldn’t love you as much as I do if it didn’t anyway)

She is your purpose for living

And that’s ok
(I wouldn’t love you as much as I do if she wasn’t anyway)

Her laugh is your most precious thing

And that’s ok
(I wouldn’t love you as much as I do if it wasn’t anyway)

It’s ok.
It’s ok.
It’s ok.

She will always be your brightest sun

And that’s ok

She will always be the first

And that’s ok

I will never even be the fourth

And that’s ok

It’s ok.
It’s ok.
It’s ok.

It really is.
I swear to god that it’s ok
I love you all the more for it
And I wouldn’t have it any other way

But at night....

When loneliness seeps into my bones

And monsters hiss into my ears


Reminding me that I am not your first
That I... have never been anyone’s first and most important person


That I have never deserved it

And that I will never even be your fourth.

And that’s ok.

It’s ok.
It’s ok.
It’s ok.

But at night...


With loneliness bleeding through my soul.

I can’t help but wonder...

What it would be like.

To at least once


be first
To someone
To anyone

Because I have never been anybody’s number one.

Never been put first

Not even by myself.

And I never will be.



And that’s ok.


It’s ok.
It’s ok.
It’s ok.

Because when the sun is out.
I love you all the more for it
I don’t regret it.
I do not envy it.
I love you all the more for it

And it’s all truly ok.

It’s ok
It’s ok
It’s ok

But at night


With loneliness swallowing me whole

I can’t help but wonder

Why I

Will never

Be enough


To ever

Be first


Or even

Simply fourth.
726 · Oct 2017
Words
Iska Oct 2017
I own about 300 books.
That's 300 main characters,
With roughly 2700 sub main characters.
Its about 12020 chapters,
With about 162600 pages
And about 3252000 sentences,
With roughly 55284000 words.
And that doesn't even account for all the books I have read, which if you know me, is most likely an impressive number.
Yet, of all the worlds I can slip into, with all the characters and personalities I can become, with all the differently written chapters, of all the beautiful unique words....
I can't seem to find the will to escape, can't seem to find the right story to disappear into. Can't find the perfect character to adapt to, can't find the ability to slip into the vast worlds of paper and ink... Of all those beautiful words, can't find one among them to place my emotions much less hold my attention.
I hate it when this happens,
When you can't find the will to disappear into the one thing you love, and have always been able to rely on to escape for just a short while.
No instead your stuck in your own mind with all of its dark chapters, distorted stories and twisted characters. Where, those same beautiful and unique words, are all jumbled together strung up in all the wrong ways. Oh what a dreary feeling. A hopelessness that consumes ones mind, usually so full of humor and imagination, now tethered down to a morbid and dark world
633 · Oct 2018
Writers Block
Iska Oct 2018
loioajrerglkjdradgu895tlkjkawlkefjkuayweeoifou9w834;lkdlig;oakgpa­gr09ia'phl;/rgi;sekf.s;f]wsf0s09seroue43iutj,emngj,,hzslgoke/;egi0]sz'g;el4ktlkj;kuzbsyoigajs.,,jerhgljuseyg9v8[e5u5p'yo'5;rhl­
[0g[aeol;erejliudruguihfg,g
I
CANT
THINK
knglgkw4u89ty34htkhkh;k­,jg
nkjsha;;iheawhgksbvwedngkjshdkvsKJeksgjmsehng
kjfdhlawahwrgoi­hWFYJWGEGFGWLIRRHIUWEIUGIWKEFhiluegelgh;akraehlkgaherkhie480349t2­04ti;woih'spgieq'gpg;elrrh[hl[\se[hierr
628 · Sep 2020
Sinking bubbles
Iska Sep 2020
There is a forest,
Under the sea,
To which I desperately
Long to see.
I’m back :) been ages
626 · Nov 2017
My loving mother
Iska Nov 2017
My dearest mother




















do you see it?
that's the space put between us,
filled with unspoken words and heartache.










can you hear it?
that's the defining silence,
filled with quiet disappointment and shattered dreams,
because I'm not the girl you hoped I'd be...
623 · Dec 2018
Frozen bubble
Iska Dec 2018
Starring at the world
through a fractured freeze frame
Splintering my skin as I draw closer clawing to the faded paint only to end up on the other side
To a world as bland and gray as it was on the other side.
621 · Sep 2020
Passion
Iska Sep 2020
Meanwhile I’ve just sat by and wrote poems about her passion pretending it was my own. Little did I know, a seed was planted and she was watering it as it grew into a dream I never knew that I had buried.
577 · Sep 2020
Sunsets
Iska Sep 2020
The sunset was the kind that was like syrup dripping from the skies and if you were to drink it it would be the ambrosia that tasted like a life time
552 · Apr 2019
The crash
Iska Apr 2019
The world is teetering
Tethered by a withered string
And gravity is pulling it taught

And now it’s crashing
Louder and louder
The shards splinter my skin
And rivulets of blood
Turns to rivers

You hear a sigh
Of relief
Of regret
Of release
As you find me
Drowning in a pool of my blood
A broken story
Old as time
You dream to live
I long to die
539 · Dec 2017
SOS
Iska Dec 2017
SOS
Sos
Shining
On
Smiles
Sos

I am sinking, yet I don't have a ship to sink
I'm drowning, yet I do not have lungs to breath
I'm alone, yet I know I am loved
I love, yet I feel so numb
I'm mute, yet I can't stop talking
I'm talking, yet I have no voice
I have no voice, yet still you hear
I don't deserve you, yet you won't leave
You won't leave, yet I still fear.
Why is it like this?
I love you. And I know you love me..
So why can't we bask in peaceful simplicity?
Why must it be muddled with muck?
Why do I feel so stuck?
I should be happy.
I should be proud.
Yet I'm sitting here,
And this silence is way to loud.
"Crawling in the dark for you
Do you Burn amoung stars for me?"


Sos
Screaming
On
Silent
Sos
520 · Dec 2018
Cookie Cutter
Iska Dec 2018
You stick us all together
And declare we are the same
As if we all don’t have a different
Tolerance to pain
488 · Feb 2018
Effortless friendship
Iska Feb 2018
Misplaced smiles, awkward laughs,
The silence stretches on for miles.
Wandering eyes, shuffling feet,
Something's missing, incomplete.
What happened to the brighter days?
When hours seemed to slip away?
Now the seconds are more like years,
And minutes seem like eons of fears.
I miss you dearly, this I know,
But I wounder if it's you I miss,
Or something I created, romanticized,
Either way, it seems so faded,
What happened to the friendship we so effortlessly created?
486 · Dec 2017
The Deafening Silence
Iska Dec 2017
They say that death is quiet. That it comes so fast and sudden that it is a surprise to the world. Because the world keeps going, as if it never happened.

I disagree. I have never known a silent death in my life. For me, death is so loud, that it deafens me. Until all I hear is ringing and muffled sounds. Like a bomb just went off, and in a way, I guess it had. The world moves to a slow motion until it is measured by nothing but a heart beat, and even that will stop eventually. Until your breath gives out and your knees crumple before you. "Its beautiful" they say, "the way that life and death entwines in an eternal dance." Yes. This is beautiful, me lying here beside you as you struggle for life, fighting to keep your heart beating. I watch as fear consumes you, you don't want to die, that much is plain to see, because you think your too young. Well let me inform you of something. You will ALWAYS be too young. It will never be enough because you don't know what happens next. For some it is a relief, they hope that this is it, the end of the line. That they cease to exist. Those are the ones who live life they way the want to. Or their are those of you who dread and fear it. Believing that God is waiting on the other side. Those are the ones who live their lives doing good, trying to make it to heaven. And then their are those of you who push it aside. Who hide from the fact that one day your hear, then gone the next. You are the ones who live in mediocre boredom forever chained down by your fear, as you waste away inside of these four paper walls, in front of the screen of some form.

I am here to remind you that I exist. I am death. I am release to some and horror to others. And I am here to tell you that your time is fast approaching. I may be at your doorstep right now, or I may be waiting on the sidelines for years to come. But I am here. And one day you will find me beside you, embracing you as you fight to keep your fire burning. You may evade me once or twice but you will see me one day. And I shall ask you this, have you lived as you wanted to live? Or have you squandered away your days? Will you be remembered? And if so how? Will people laugh and say "you won't be missed" or will they wail and pull at their hair, gnashing their teeth as they cry for their loss? Are you loved or hated?  if you are loved, you shall not be forgotten, and that is the immortality you are all seeking, just as my immortality is here, among the words I write. Who knows? By the time your reading this, maybe I have passed to. Because even death is not immortal.
473 · Oct 2017
One little pill
Iska Oct 2017
One
Oh what fun this has become.
Two
So much life in me and you!
Three
So this is what it means to be free?
Four
Maybe one more behind closed doors....
Five
I can't quit, without it I don't feel alive...
Six
"You need to stop, your addicted and soon it'll be too late to fix"
Seven
"Do you wish to die? Because we both know that's where your headed."
Eight
More then just pills, they are an escape. An escape from all this depression and hate.
Nine
You've changed, you've taken it too far. How could you be so blind?
Ten
The monitor goes silent, your heart stops it's beat, never to start again.
472 · Oct 2017
Deaths Angel
Iska Oct 2017
Boiling blood,
Dagger eyes.
Hateful mind,
Both cruel and sly.

Brave façade,
Daunting lies.
You look to me,
"Its time to die."

I hear you,
And watch
you scream
And plea.
Yet its not anger
That i see,
Only...

Aching muscles,
Tired eyes.
A weary heart,
A mournful sigh.

"Hush my child,
Its not time yet.
If you do this now,
There's much you'll regret."

Shallow breaths,
Teary eyes.
Shaking hands,
You sob and cry.

"Can't you see?"
Again you plea..
"Its time to die.
Nothing left for me."

I look on,
And I feel your sorrow.
A broken heart,
With no hope for tomorrow

"Be calm my child,
Just look around.
With a bit of effort
Happiness can be found."

"You don't understand!
How can you know?
Who are you to decide
When I'm ready to go?"

Bleeding smiles,
Plastic masks.
Hidden scars,
You've gone too far.

"Be careful my child,
Or you will be consumed
And then there will be
Nothing more I can do."

Sun kissed smiles,
Moon burnt laughs.
Bright future,
Dark past.

Wedding bells,
Pure love.
White shells,
Caged dove.

Sticky hands,
Tiny feet.
Sloppy kisses,
Hearts complete.

Weary smiles,
Wizened eyes.
Snow kissed hair,
You've grown wise.

Calmly you stand,
Before me once again.
With a full heart,
A long life.
With Faded scars,
And smile lines.
I hear you repeat,
A long lost line,
With a sad smile,
"Its time to die"

I greet you,
Arms open wide,
Embraced in me
You quietly die.
And as you fade,
I hear you say...
"Thank you,
For helping me
Hold on til today."
462 · Apr 2019
Fuzzy Fades, but Scars Stay
Iska Apr 2019
I feel so foggy
Limbs feel heavy
Thoughts feel thick
Eyelids stick
I don’t feel sick
So it must be ok..
No matter the way
Self medicate
To placate
This morbid mirror
This demonic fear
446 · Oct 2017
Seize The Day
Iska Oct 2017
Do you have what it takes?
Is it burning inside?
A warriors heart,
a leaders mind?
Now is the time, lead the way.
Ride off to battle, seize the day.
They look to you, your spotlight shines,
so push on through, test your lines.

You've got what it takes,
I see it inside;
a warrior's passion,
a leader's pride.
you've got the heart, you've got the soul,
you've got the will, so take control.
Don't ever break, don't you dare walk away.
finish what you've started, seize the day.

You've got the skills,
they lay inside;
a warrior's dedication,
a leader's determination.
you've got nothing to lose, step up to the plate.
Fight in the battle, before its too late.

Though lose, you may,
the chance still stands,
to lead with victory's upper hand.
to fight your way, and in the end,
to seize the day.
441 · May 2018
A melody Of Melancholy
Iska May 2018
.
.
.
.
.
.
Can you hear it?
This sweet and sorrowful serenade?
This melody of melancholy.






Of course you can’t,
How selfishly presumptuous of me.
To assume you see the solitude I see
Day after day
.
.
.
.
.
.
425 · Apr 2019
The Pebble and The Rock
Iska Apr 2019
There once was a rock,
So bold and proud
But upon all others
He did scoff and frown.

He watched as the wistful wind
Tossed the waves up high
As the writhing sea
Draped in dazzling white
Frothed and danced in blissful delight.

He beheld the moon stained sand
As it churned and swept about
As the mighty wind blew the gulls throughout

The endless horizon
That crept to the sea.
Such beauty wasted,
For he truly believed
That none could ever be better then he.

“I am a pebble and I bow to none!”
Were the boastful words he cried to the Sun.
“Nothing could possibly change me!”
He declared to the Sea
“For I am eternal, while you all fade with time.”
He hollered to the Sand, with hubris filled pride.

“Then go forward, little pebble, and challenge the Tide.”
The whistling Wind whispered as they rolled him to the shore,
And the foolish pebble, need hear no more.

Flouncing, bouncing and pirouetting
The pebble lay upon the shore
when the Tide came to play
He told the Tide to “step aside,
For we are not the same.
I shall last forever,
whilst you are destined to fade away.”

The Tide surrounded him in a glittering host
he was then pushed and pulled throughout the coast
As the wild Waves rolled and bounced the pebble about
Before he was spat out once more on the sandy shore.

“INSOLENCE!!”
He cried out in pure rage.
“HOW DARE YOU DEFY ME,
I WHO CAN NEVER AGE?!”

So the Sand devoured him
And swallowed him whole
For how could he possibly not see
That he was not the only one
Blessed with the gift of immortality?

“Foolish pebble”
the Sand hissed in fury
“We are the dust of mountains.
We are the tellers of time
So tell me, little one,
how are you any better then I?”

The pebble stammered at a loss of words,
for such a thought had never occurred.
“As I thought.” The Sand sneered.
“How dare you be so quick to look down upon your peers.”

The poor pebble quivered as the sand spoke again
“If you wish to know eternity,
Look to the water,
towering over the waves.
Stands a Rock, older then both you and I.
Who knows? Perhaps she’s been there since the dawn of time..”

So the pebble turned again to the shore, peering over the waves
And what he beheld left him amazed.

The salt stained stone stood ageless.
Amongst the crashing of waves.
Breathing immortality, she gleamed in the sun.
The winds howled in rage
and the waves tossed their plumes
Demanding to be obeyed
But despite all of their efforts,
The Rock could not be swayed.

The pebble stood, humbled
And regret ensued.
Grief struck his core
and he was left quite confused.
When he heard a kind voice,
Both ancient and new.

“Hello, Little Pebble,
So battered and bruised.
Can’t you see?
The sand rubbed you smooth,
And the waves polished you anew.”

“I know your heart is heavy,
And filled with much regret.
So learn from your mistakes
And don’t you ever forget
That while you are simply a pebble
You glitter with gems from within
And once you embrace your potential,
Your eternity shall finally begin.”

~iska

{we are the tellers of time} is a line referring to the fact that hour glasses use sand to mark the passing of time.
For Grandma P.
Happy 71st birthday
399 · Sep 2018
Pain-ters
Iska Sep 2018
Scattered words
Broken frame
Was once a lovely picture
Now just faded paint.
Next page