I remember it was beautiful,
The day that you died.
The clouds were like vanilla candy floss
Strewn across the bubblegum blue sky
The sun bathed everything in gold like melted butterscotch
Such sweet conditions for such a bitter day
It smelled of sunshine and cinnamon sticks
Unlike the salty tears that made their way past my lips.
Then it popped like bubble gum,
And all the sugar melted away
Like a reverse heart beat pounding in my ears
as the sudden realization hit;
that you are no longer here.
Such a sweet pupper to the bitter end
You know that you were loved
As everyone’s very best friend.
He was such a sweet pupper
some of us
weren’t meant to be happy
some of us
were meant to be poets
Can I tell you a secret?
I am terrified of death.
Think about it, before I was born,
How many lives had ended?
How many names were forgotten?
How many stories never made the history books?
So many people have come before me, and yet it is as if they had never existed at all. so many lives will follow mine, and will never know I was here.
Because even as they come to an end... the world will just keep going. Unhindered by the loss. She will not pause just because I stopped going.. no, Earth will continue to turn on its axis as She always has, without favoritism or prejudice. Unending and uncaring. And let’s face it, what have I ever done to deserve otherwise? What changes have I undertaken for the better? I have nothing to show, when this is all over. Undeserving of the immortality that memories create.
I have always advocated that we must push beyond merely existing. We must live. Unapologetically. With out hesitation or reservations. “To be the spark that ignites the fire within all we cross paths with.”
How foolishly hopeful that seems now.
I have become exactly what I despised.
Fallen into the lull that is stagnation. Hushed by the silence of acceptance and helplessness that has draped over my existence.
With no hobbies or goals to speak of I have seemed to lose the drive to burn like a flame. And worse yet, I cannot seem to convince myself that it is something I can escape, or that I should even attempt to break out of this trance.
I had fancied myself to be unique. Fearless to the rules that society has placed in attempt to squish us into the mold of complacency. When really, I have been fooling myself all along.
Right now, as I am,
I am not unique.
I am not brave.
Wisps of whispered words float away on the wind
Up to the moon like dust on the stars
And nothing is more beautiful
then when I look at you
Wishes slip past my lips
and much like dandelion seeds taken root in the sidewalk
and sprout without me noticing,
not until they have become white plumes to be blown and carried away by the wind. Dancing and floating free to the horizon
they carry the wishes of a silent soul
So long as you are here
I can do anything
With your fingers entwined in mine
I can hold my head high
And dance like a wishing **** on the wind
Why do I feel so bad about myself instead of thinking that I'm the sun and everything and everyone is in a circle around me in my galaxy?.