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Her 6d
the nightmares keep
me up at night
almost every night
in March

i get to relive
the trauma
over and over
that month

i awake feeling
my chest tight
stomach turning
counterclockwise

my mind focused
on that first night
why it all happened
what did i do wrong

i was just a child
i remind myself
as i *****

i hope one day
i like March again
like i did
when i was 6 years old
B Jun 2021
Hello again-
Cover my bones with your cardigan
how long have you been a necro baby?
Cause' I've been dead since 2010.

Am I still cold?
when you wrap that woolen yellow round my back
Is my body old?
as you stroke blackberry lips with the breath that I lack.

Do you like the way
my eyes
- still alive -
never shut?
Someone can finally stand to look on you,
man of sin, skin, bore; a mutt.

Can you feel the dryness beneath my throat?
Watch the insects flee my face
and see the rot of teeth in the midst of groan.

Hello again.
Bramble crowned amongst worst of men.
How long have you been a necro, honey?
Cause' I'm dead as poet's pen.
twindrill Aug 2022
she was my jane doe, my everything.

we flew to arizona.
she was my partner, my lover, wondering what i could be thinking about.
her. a different kind of her
"not now," she thinks,
"what about jane doe?"
i understand, and oblige.

the light stirs
we crash down and fall and almost burn
but live
others were not so lucky.

when we fell, i thought about her.
my jane doe.

this place wasn't a place of god, no matter what it said
the things they did to women
children
babies
sickening.

it reminded me of what they did to her,
my jane doe.

her, my partner, my lover
was gone, but i still found her.
we walked and knew we would lose each other again,
no matter how much it hurt us

the light continued to stir
and when it did
i saw her,
my jane doe,
my everything.

it happened so many years ago
we were children
young souls destined to go to heaven

if we were good.

if we weren't, they would lecture us, punish us.
yours was undeserved,
my jane doe.

i tried to be good. i tried to not say a word.
i knew what sin meant,
but i knew even more of your love for me

love.

the prophet said it was love when he slaughtered the women and children.
the heretic said it was love when she played with me like she did all those years ago
they didn't know. they'll never know

but i knew
when i knew you were there,
my jane doe,
my one and only,
my everything.

the child was you, the one who came back for me,
my jane doe.

it was nobody's fault; not yours, not mine, but his?
there is no doubt.
there is nothing.
but you,
my jane doe.

one last stir of light
helpless,
we would be one again.

now i lie here alone
where artificial light stirs
where voices mumble
and when two people say

they have plans for me.
outlast 2 tribute.
tw: ****** assault, child abuse.
c May 2022
I do not understand
How you unwrap my mind
And I no longer feel the ghost of hands on my skin
Of skin on my skin
Of ghosts
Niamh Collins May 2022
tinsel wrapped arms
lights twinkle in my eyes
and his
staring

hold my head in my hands as i leave my body
each touch a reminder of my sins
that aren’t mine.

and never were.
#sa
this is not fair.
this is not fair.
i can't be there.
i can't breathe air.
i can't help bear
the weight she wears.
i want to share.
she knows i care,
but she's aware
i can't be there.
this is not fair
this is not fair

if i could, i would, i swear
God,
my friend.

my friend is drowning.

my friend's canoe is upside down in a raging current.

my friend is holding on and she needs only you.

God,
my friend.

save her
God, she can't even swim
#sa
my love,
the world has given you so much pain.
i can't bear it for you
and it breaks me to watch.
but i will crawl with you
i will stumble with you
i will fight with you
and i will pray with you.
i wouldn't blame you
if you kept your eyes closed the rest of your life,
but i promise with everything in my soul
that if you decide to open them,
i will be the first thing you see
no memory is stronger than your safety today
i have lived my whole life with the truth,
whether i remember it or not,
whether it is what they think or not,
whether it was real or not.
and i am still me.
i am still the same person.
i am still the same body
and i am still the same soul
he couldn't have stolen that from me, even if he did try
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