Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
12h · 28
sushii 12h
and come with me, baby
we will fade into obscurity.
the fog swirls with us
as we dance away from the sun

there is nothing more romantic
than death on a sunday night
i long to be right
to win a fight

i am trapped in a limbo
waiting, expecting
only to be put down
like a miserable puppy buried in the ground.

kiss me quickly
for our time leaves soon
and before you know it, it’s noon
and before you know it, you see the moon

monday morning and misery
but this is no regular apathy
this is a different kind, more gloomy
the sadness in my soul is more roomy

tell me, my lover
why must we live?
why must we suffer?

i have nothing more to give
12h · 152
sushii 12h
i have infinite options
but i don’t wanna do anything
i’m so tired
of everything.
12h · 17
sushii 12h

i don’t feel inspired anymore
it’s all just ******* nothing
fading into my heart
i have left everything unfinished
so i sit
forever uneasy
and forever hungry.
12h · 29
sushii 12h
when the doctor tested my reflexes
he broke both of my knees
so now i walk at a crawl
and i struggle to start again
12h · 22
sushii 12h
the wind carried us through the night
we rode along it laughing and dancing
and then at the inn
we touched each other till we sighed
bliss under the moonlight
Sep 1 · 75
blood moon
sushii Sep 1
as i sit tense on this plane, i wonder
am i closer to you up here?
do you truly look from the heavens?
do you protect me from regrets?

sweet small talk
fills the child with lies
as murderous eyes stalk
they seek to bleed you till you die

paranoia is incorrect
giddiness unkempt
fear is easier to accept
either way, doom will be met

“mommy, can you do it for me?”
a guilty question wrought in youth
“my love, can you set me free?”
an age-old concept based on truth

death is inevitable and too powerful
shaking, i refuse to accept that
i am ashamed to still be fearful
in my comfort zone, i’m glad

if i join you
what should i say?
i might die once more if i do
simply because you were such a light
a ray that shone upon my darkness
your warm embrace held me quickly
and released all too soon

and if i may tell you,
on the next blood moon...

i truly do love you.
Sep 1 · 226
native blood
sushii Sep 1
as i walk upon this ground—
your ground,
i suddenly miss you,
my native brothers.

the oak trees twist and turn
signaling the return of my soul
and the loss of yours

on behalf of my kind, i truly apologize
we stole your land
and murdered you all

your statement was right—
no one can own the Earth.
we have tried,
and look where it brought us.

now we are burning up
at the expense of prosperity
and sacrificing longevity

native american blood
flows deeper, beyond fossil fuels
underneath the fracking
there’s truth buried somewhere

i can feel it, i definitely can
i wish i could scream to everyone,
“they were right!”

i wish i could scream to everyone
i wish i could bleed myself
to show them what we have lost...
to show them who you have lost.

native american blood
dries and coagulates accordingly
to our war rules

native american blood
flows no longer
stagnant in our marginalized hearts

native american truth
was our last hope
Sep 1 · 66
Suicide Note
sushii Sep 1
When you’re little, everyone thinks you’re special...
When you’re twenty, everyone thinks you’re promising...
And when you’re dead, everyone will love you.

Do you see yourself as successful?
Charming, even?

Well, I see you dead in a bathtub...
Surrounded by drug paraphernalia.
I see your mother crying for you...
Syringe in her arm to take away pain.

Do you see yourself as a failure?
Horrid, even?

Why, don’t think of yourself that way...
You’ll be alright.
There is no storm...
Just calm, just the eye...

When you’re little, they beat you.
When you’re twenty, you’re hopeless.
And when you’re dead, you’re saved.

Is the drive boring?
Numbing, even?

It’s okay, just fall asleep...
You’re not responsible anyway.
It’s fine, go to sleep...
You’ll be unresponsive, anyway.

When you’re low, it’s blue.
When you’re high, it’s full.
When you’re dead, you’ll finally be numb.
Sep 1 · 74
Heed the Needle
sushii Sep 1
Needle into you
Bores holes into my soul
Needle into me
Saves me from tragedy

Torture tools upset you
They frighten me, too
But what can you do?
It happens all too soon

And hope runs away
Far from this place
Poked him, said he was ***
Face meets metal plate

So scream, scream, little girl
Run and scream, you ******* freak
It’s all you’ve got left
Because you’re next

The blackness gets you
But you don’t understand
Just take my hand
When you’re dead, you’ll be glad

So scream, scream little boy
Run and scream, you ******* freak
It’s all you’re good for
They don’t need you anymore

Scream away your vocal chords
You ******* *****
Don’t you know you’re the reason he died?
If I could cut you, I would
But I think that’s a crime
Run until your lazy legs stop
You pathetic *****
Run, before I bleed you
Run, before I realize

How much I need you

For you don’t exist

Because this poem
Is about me.
Sep 1 · 55
sushii Sep 1
stomach twists in pure fear
i’ve had enough people for a year
feel their eyes burning into me
rather leave you for soul deceit

alone and focused on
i feel so far gone
i want to scream
i want to wake up from this dream

i think i look stupid
i don’t think i feel worth it
hoping for someone to take the blame
of the loneliness left untamed

will they see me write this?
can i justify this?
i just want a friend to sit down with
i don’t need a hug or a kiss

i want to go home
i want to say no
trapped in obligations
sadness in mitigation

maybe i should say something
but it might disturb something
how are you?
good, i’ve got something to do

come watch my misery
from a comfortable bird’s eye view
Jul 27 · 138
sushii Jul 27
you said you'd come clean,
but i know it's not easy.

you left behind emptiness--
confusion and hollowness,

as we all shuffle about in gloom,
the gloom of remembering you.

maybe it's stupid, after all, i never knew you,
but i distantly care...i do.

you give me hope--
a way to cope.

i almost feel like
your voice is my home.
Jul 27 · 283
no comfort
sushii Jul 27
and in the words i find
no comfort as i crawl
away to my demise
sad eyes glued to a device

no poem in months
no one seemed to notice
that i missed out on the fun
and that i had nowhere to run

tags and labels
hoping i'll be noticed
but my attempts come to no avail
and my imagination has gone stale

romance is bleak
i'm not sure what to say
care is obsolete
love is incomplete

music is all i'm good for
and that's not even enough
so i sit here on the floor
begging them to shut the door

well, since there is no end in sight
maybe i will end this here
if i may and if you might
turn away if this gives you fright
Jul 27 · 140
why me?
sushii Jul 27
i go outside
and i despise
the sunlight in
that little girl's eyes

why was it me?
it hurt, you see
i'd have preferred
you to **** me

inside hurts
throbbing pain
shooting straight
to my brain

why was it me?
i'm not a toy, you see
i'd have preferred
you to skip me

bleeding soul
growing old
flesh is mold
love feels cold.
Jun 19 · 107
sushii Jun 19
I know I have let you all down.
My heart stings at the sound of my voice.
I’ll give the people what they want.
My heart aches at the feeling of my warmth.

I can feel your words cut through my back.
Silently whispered between the walls.
I can feel your lips brush against my neck.
Sensations felt long ago.

I sense your eyes boring into me
It was there for a long time.
What do you say when I’m not there?
It was said for a long time.

I’ve been sad for a long time.
I’ve felt bad for a long time.
I’ve thought about this for a long time.

I mean it this time.
**this isn’t an actual suicide note. If you are feeling suicidal, the hotline is 1-800-273-8255. You are not alone.
Jun 17 · 224
There is Still Hope
sushii Jun 17
i had almost lost myself
in the crowd of facades
i had almost forgotten
who i was and who i will be
i had almost left
my beloved self behind.

but i’m here again,
and i’m here now.

i’m the strongest i’ve ever been.
Jun 2 · 181
sushii Jun 2
I remember that placid night...
Sitting in my room alone.
Something inside me was filled with fright,
Knowing that there was no one to phone.

And I suddenly hungered, ached, desired—
That animalistic feeling,
That urge left unhindered—
That lustful tingling.

A lust I lusted after,
But to no avail.
My lonely heart started beating faster,
But all I could do was wait and wail.

I felt choked up,
Stifled beyond belief.
I felt like I had dealt with enough,
And I needed to help my soul breathe.

A lust I had lusted after,
Longing for that forgotten feeling.
But my hopes were useless chatter,
No one could hear my silent pleading.

I felt so very hopeful—
Hopeful and excited.
But I was left feeling wistful,
With my lust uninvited.
Jun 2 · 143
sushii Jun 2
ashes covered them all
the petals of the rose fall off rather quickly
when poison sickens all
leaving the people and the animals in
a corner, crumpled and smiling weakly.

the State seemed to have lost its mind
no one knew of what was to come
they were forever left behind
they tried to hold in the child’s laugh
the mother’s joy
the father’s grin
the baby’s squeal
they tried to encase it all in a metal dome

it may keep the poison out
but what about those who stood there before?
what about those who’s cells faced drought
who’s lovers were left behind
who’s children were left to die
what about the poison that has sunk into the pores
of generations and many more to come

the disease is long-standing;
thirty years is simply a blink of an eye
for the monster lurking nearby
slowly drowning
slowly suffocating
into the ground, where it will begin to **** more

and still, the city is coated in thin ash
as the sky dies
and the buildings rot
and the occasional visitor cries not for the destruction
but for her sister
who contracted the Poison not too long before the dome
she was paler when she came home
her smile faded as she came home

the city was paler when i came home

just a few years after.
Jun 2 · 117
The Divine Feminine
sushii Jun 2
A soft, gentle warmth
A touch of pillowy, overly perfumed femininity
Suffocating me into serenity

Quick, slender fingers
Bandaging my every move
Warning me against standing in the rain
And quick fingers slipped under my skin

Small, frail waist
Brushes against me as we dance
And I am pulled closer reluctantly
Into estrogen and ecstasy

Full, colorful lips
That would drive anyone else crazy
But they just seem to spit the most horrid things ever said
And they seem to sentence me
(Under the blissful vow of marriage)
To a life of torture and conviction
Underneath a piercing gaze...          

    I would rather die.

              “You may now kiss the bride.”
May 5 · 134
If Only
sushii May 5
And then my heart stopped short
As the rest of me rushed to keep up
And your face held placidly in the moonlight

You’re so very dark with your eyelashes and hair
I could steal it all away for myself
As my tears slowly crystallize

Your skin glows faintly
In the begging starlight
Calling me, beckoning me
For just one touch

Oh, how I would have you
If it could have been the other way
I could hold you in my arms
As I cherish your warmth

Oh, if only you knew how I love you
I wish it could be the other way
I wish you knew how I would hold you
And how I long for you day after day.
sushii May 5
You’re green, bubbly, and magenta.
You’ve transformed my vision of what I call psychedelia—
I wouldn’t have expected you to walk up to me right here, right now.
You have candy canes on your face!
Funny you should come to this place....

Do you like it here?
See, look! A blue deer!
Wait, why is he sad?
Come along, please don’t be mad...

...a pretty color indeed!
Yes, I think it’s very sweet.
I’m so very curious, sir.
Why is it that the mangroves stir?

I find your idea rather enchanting,
However my imagination is too demanding...
Why are you here?
What summoned you and told you to appear?

Never the matter, let’s bask away;
Hurry, there’s only so much left today.
Beautiful, yes it is,
But stranger than a ghost’s kiss...

I don’t quite understand...
My fate doesn’t feel too grand,
And I suddenly realize
The meaning behind all your lies.

You were the one.
You took away the sun,
Leaving me with night
And a heart filled with fright.
You were the one.
You said it’d be fun,
And guided me in my infancy
To not worry or look too closely
Until one day it was gone

And I tried to forget
That you were the one.
May 5 · 138
Hopes Long Gone
sushii May 5
I know you are fearful,
For you have been treated this way before
But I am merciful;
“Please listen!” You implore,
But I am too regretful.

You know how I am,
For I have never changed
But your embrace is plentiful;
“I will! I promise!” I cry in rage,
But you are just too wistful.

I wish I could show you
The things I feel everyday
But my mind is hurtful;
“Please, stay for a bit longer.” I say,
But I am not so hopeful.

I was right.

It was hard,

But you said goodbye.
Apr 25 · 103
The Rose Petals of Hope
sushii Apr 25
It's beautiful, crystalline moments like these
That allow my sobering soul to believe.
Apr 24 · 242
sushii Apr 24
So, you fancy fame?
Are you willing to step into the frame,
And give up your life
In exchange for the spotlight?

It could go out soon.
Listen to the monster's croon.

So, you envy the game?
Will you keep your reputation tame?

And listen as they watch,
While you are left all done and used

Like another belt notch.
Apr 24 · 184
sushii Apr 24
Such symbolic sentences...I fancy them.
Situations so well as how I end them.
Simple seeking of silence...useless in its longing.
Subjugating secrets...cruel in its withdrawal.

Shall we share the shyness? There is plenty for you...
Should we show our shallow shells? We will certainly protect you.
Shall we scare the separated sons of servants? They never told you.
Should we sell selfish souls? I did not mean to punish you.

Which is just?
Maybe all of them, if you must.

Which is right?
A few of them, if it helps you sleep at night.

Where is she?
Right in your heart, I promise truthfully.

        -- Yes, I know. Eventually, there will be writing on the wall.


             ­                                       (It is only a matter of time.)
Apr 22 · 514
Once More
sushii Apr 22
For once, the day was okay.
For once, my soul wasn't at dismay.
For once, the sky wasn't gray.

The darkness had faded into happiness,
And the sun came back to life.
The garden was no longer filled with dreariness,

And I
Began to live

Once more.
Apr 14 · 129
sushii Apr 14
twisting groves of evergreen feel so serene...
comforting to my sore hands in the stream...
violets leap and leopards grow...
springing from the ground to and fro.
the pale blue sky recovers from a dawn-absent night,
as i keel over in sudden fright.

where are you taking me?
the scenery twists
green turning to red and red turning to black,
till it all fades to nothing, and never comes back.

oh, it seems i have awoken.
the morning lilacs twist and turn
inside the little ceramic urn.
the room is barren but for two paintings
one with stripes and one that’s caving
where have you taken me?
i approach one in curiosity
wonder and excitement filling me hurriedly.
the lilacs are at my feet now
lulling me in and telling me to sleep now
      sleep, sleep, they call out in longing.
i must listen to their calling.
i wander through the spiraling air
over to their dusty lair.
and then death himself rises me up,
his presence and hurried silence stifling me far enough
i was taken into a large, red portal,

and then i saw the evergreen again.
and then everything faded to black.

               and then i died.
sushii Apr 14
Sultry seduction softly spoken in strip clubs,
Cleansing carry-on and cut-away cult-goers,
Booming bandits and brass bullets,
All come together to assemble the assembly.

Wistful wisteria watch willfully
As animals adamantly attack one another,
As cold-cut, careless children caress carnivorous cameras,
And as pricey pigs pinch the pincers of pink pinpricks.

Chaos ensued among the anthill atheists,
Terror engulfed the residences of the Republicans,
Revolting ******* encompassed the demise of the Democrats,
And disgusting dissatisfaction destroyed the “don’t know, don’t do” dwellers.

Tell me, tag-along,
When does willful wanting win?
When does less lead to Ledbetter,
And when does more lead to maybe?

Tell me, strict stranger,
When will Time tell the talkers and tremblers to tune in?
Where should the preposterous and painfully patient people point their pain to?
Where should I left-handedly leave this letter?

Tell me, go-getter,
Will it ever feel better?
Apr 2 · 408
sushii Apr 2
I think—
I think there was a man and a woman...
They were arguing.

Inside the man’s tightly curled fist
Rested a pistol
With his index finger slumbering on the trigger.

The woman,
Unalarmed, stepped forwards
Challenging the man.

He jumped in reaction,
The gun flailing along with his taut, strained arms.
The woman began to shout, when

An explosion of gunpowder
Cut open all the air

         And everything went silent.
Mar 19 · 167
The Resolution
sushii Mar 19
What we spent?
How we wept?

Was it all null?
Was it all nothing?

What I said?
The time before it was dead?

Was it all absent?
Was it all missing?

How we held
In a still moment such as this
How we suffered for the sun
And how we rejoiced for the rain?

A day similar to this and ones past
When we were together
And we held fast?
Mar 17 · 355
sushii Mar 17
Is this all you wanted?
Well, it’s all you’ve left behind.
Is this how it’ll be?
Well, it’s what you’ve left

For me.
Mar 17 · 141
sushii Mar 17
I love your idea of success
How you want to sing
But you can never get on that stage
You will never be your best
Because your best
Is the same as all the rest
Mar 17 · 230
sushii Mar 17
You make me feel like I’m nothing

(But I love you)

I would express my anger,

But I don’t want to hurt you.
Mar 17 · 113
The Performance
sushii Mar 17
My vocal chords scream out,
But I haven’t the means.
My knees give out,
But it wasn’t on a screen.

I haven’t made the grade

Till I’m on that stage.
Mar 17 · 357
The Man
sushii Mar 17
Don’t you see him?

He sits in the corner,

Spending hours and passing judgment

On all I have to say.

Don’t you see him?

He tormented me

With questions and answers

Spending money and passing time

With all I have to provide.

Don’t you see him?

He is a dark shadow

That gathers on the edge of my mind

And fades along

With the disappearance of night.
Mar 15 · 218
what is missing?
sushii Mar 15
maybe i am here.
would you see me?

the door is open--
you can walk on out.

see all the teenagers
jigging about.

i don't think it's your scene
over here with me.

maybe i am there.
could you hear me?

the capitals are low--
turning sentences inside out.

see all the thoughts
hanging around.

the vision is blurred
over here with me.

maybe i am no longer.
could you sense me?

don't misunderstand--
that's not what this poem is about.

see my blank stare
midnight all around.

the time is all gone
over here with me.
sushii Feb 25
I think I will rot.
Maybe I will not.
There isn't any air,
My head feels hot.

I would like to ask,
Do you feel as lonely as I?
In melancholy we shall bask,
Quietly contemplating under a gray sky.

I feel like singing.
My heartbeat is stinging.
The dull mirth fading,
My subtle song thinning.

I would like to ask,
Do you feel as quiet as I?
In burnt kerosene we shall bask,
Quietly suffering until we die.
Feb 25 · 192
The Heavy Fog of '44
sushii Feb 25
I couldn't focus today.
It was awfully loud.
I wish they would turn the volume down.

The sky was dark.
Why didn't it rain?

When the fog clears,

Maybe Father will come home again.
sushii Feb 22
They put me in today.
I think it rained.
My emotions will decay.
Loneliness is all that remains.

They put him in, too.
He is sad, as am I.
He said, "I am just as lonely as you."
Is this where I'll die?

It seems I am here to stay.
I long for a friend.

I await the end of this day.

I want it all to end.
Feb 22 · 108
Stop the Music
sushii Feb 22
Turn off the music.
It is pathetic,
Victim music.
Feb 22 · 69
Just Checking Up
sushii Feb 22
I wanted to ask--
Have you been burning well?
Feb 22 · 171
By the Fireplace
sushii Feb 22
What a grand time you'd have without me
A warm Friday night
One less thing on your mind

It's on times like these
That I'd rather disappear.
Feb 22 · 181
sushii Feb 22
I wish there was something I could write,
Something I could say.
I wish I could sleep at night,
I wish you could stay.
Feb 5 · 268
Your Little Girl
sushii Feb 5
You made a promise to them--
You wouldn't hurt your little girl.

You made a promise to them--
You would never make your little girl cry.

You squeezed her heart with your strong grip,
And told her it would be okay,
As you watched all the blood
Slowly drip away.

You made a promise to them
As her eyes faded away,
Dying with the sunset
And the rest of the day.

You made a promise to them,
Caramelized with lies,
As the thin line of her mouth
Filled with bile.
Feb 4 · 93
sushii Feb 4
A nasty stain,
You'll wring the curtains of me
Feb 4 · 245
Is This Enough?
sushii Feb 4
Would you like it if I cried?
Would that make it more real to you?
Would you like it if I died?
Would that make my feelings true?

Would you make me go and hide?
Would that finally impress you?
Would you eat up all my pride?
Would that satisfy you?

That's how you'd like it.
That's how you'd like it, isn't it?

That's how I'd like it.
Jan 31 · 257
sushii Jan 31
Shall one dare to raise the question,
"What is the legitimacy of His Majesty's ruling?"
One would surely be relieved of their head.

'Tis alright, however, since there is still freedom.

"What such freedom exists, when one cannot question another?"

Much freedom still exists in other aspects, so fear not, ignorant one.

Anyways, you should have no reason to question His rule,
For you have served this kingdom well, my feigning innocence.
You, sir, have done wondrously in raising your sword to the enemy.

"But, Father, if I may interject, how come I do not feel free?"

You swore your blood and marrow to the wealth of His Majesty,
And now one such as you dares to raise that prickling question?
You shall have your freedom in due time, my withered husk.

"Father, who is the Majesty?"

You do not ask of the King's personal affairs.

"But, respectfully, I do want to know who it is I am fighting for."

You are fighting on the behalf of our country, for the greater good.

"Father, that does not answer my question. Who is he?"

Fine, my woeful son--do you wish to know who the King is?
He is standing right in front of you,

And he orders your execution.
Jan 28 · 774
The Humming
sushii Jan 28
On a day such as this,
I return from my tiring work.
On a day such as this,
I return to this dull world.

I hear it once more--
The droning, and the grayness it explores.

I feel it coming--
The humming, and the slight drumming...

The thinning beats are composed of children's pitter-patter,
And sullen ***** dish clatter.
The tuneless melody speaks of pointless meanings,
And empty greetings.

I hear it once more--
The droning, and the grayness it explores.

I feel it coming--
The humming, and the slight drumming...

I hear it one more time--
Or so I think,
For the part of me that understands
Has already died.
Jan 14 · 285
It's Done
sushii Jan 14
The party lives here no longer,
And happiness has gone its own way.
The shadows are taller,
And there is nothing left for this day.

It's done, I tell you,
It's what I always say.
There's no more fun, and no more games to play.

The sunshine has left,
And the stars seem dim.
There are no memories to be kept,
And the Cauldron of Void is filled to its brim.

It's done, I tell you,
It's what I always say.
There's no use in wishing the rain away.

The children have lost their toys,
And the couples feel no desire.
The music becomes noise,
And burning in their hearts is a dying fire.

It's done, I tell you.
It's what I always say.
I can't feel your love, I apologize for the delay.
Jan 11 · 116
How it Could Have Been
sushii Jan 11
We would be friends...
That's how it could have been.
We would have fun...
That's how it could have been.

I wonder why I still think of how you might see me?
The opportunity has passed already.
I wonder why I still fancy having a conversation with you?
That's no longer possible.

Maybe, one day we could still be friends...
That's how it could be.
We might be able to have fun...
That's how it can be.

Maybe, one day your friendship
Could breathe into me
The life that I held so dear,
But had forgotten so easily.
Jan 8 · 639
The Little House
sushii Jan 8
Are you there?
Mother, do you ever get cold or sad in that little house all alone?
Do you ever wonder what could have been?
Do you miss your old friends?
Mother, are you missing me right now?
Is it hard without Father?
Will you be okay?
Mother, are you singing about the tree again?

Mother, will you sing to me again?
Next page