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sushii Sep 1
as i sit tense on this plane, i wonder
am i closer to you up here?
do you truly look from the heavens?
do you protect me from regrets?

sweet small talk
fills the child with lies
as murderous eyes stalk
they seek to bleed you till you die

paranoia is incorrect
giddiness unkempt
fear is easier to accept
either way, doom will be met

“mommy, can you do it for me?”
a guilty question wrought in youth
“my love, can you set me free?”
an age-old concept based on truth

death is inevitable and too powerful
shaking, i refuse to accept that
i am ashamed to still be fearful
in my comfort zone, i’m glad

if i join you
what should i say?
i might die once more if i do
simply because you were such a light
a ray that shone upon my darkness
your warm embrace held me quickly
and released all too soon

and if i may tell you,
on the next blood moon...

i truly do love you.
sushii Sep 1
as i walk upon this ground—
your ground,
i suddenly miss you,
my native brothers.

the oak trees twist and turn
signaling the return of my soul
and the loss of yours

on behalf of my kind, i truly apologize
we stole your land
and murdered you all

your statement was right—
no one can own the Earth.
we have tried,
and look where it brought us.

now we are burning up
at the expense of prosperity
and sacrificing longevity

native american blood
flows deeper, beyond fossil fuels
underneath the fracking
there’s truth buried somewhere

i can feel it, i definitely can
i wish i could scream to everyone,
“they were right!”

i wish i could scream to everyone
i wish i could bleed myself
to show them what we have lost...
to show them who you have lost.

native american blood
dries and coagulates accordingly
to our war rules

native american blood
flows no longer
stagnant in our marginalized hearts

native american truth
was our last hope
sushii Sep 1
When you’re little, everyone thinks you’re special...
When you’re twenty, everyone thinks you’re promising...
And when you’re dead, everyone will love you.

Do you see yourself as successful?
Charming, even?

Well, I see you dead in a bathtub...
Surrounded by drug paraphernalia.
I see your mother crying for you...
Syringe in her arm to take away pain.

Do you see yourself as a failure?
Horrid, even?

Why, don’t think of yourself that way...
You’ll be alright.
There is no storm...
Just calm, just the eye...

When you’re little, they beat you.
When you’re twenty, you’re hopeless.
And when you’re dead, you’re saved.

Is the drive boring?
Numbing, even?

It’s okay, just fall asleep...
You’re not responsible anyway.
It’s fine, go to sleep...
You’ll be unresponsive, anyway.

When you’re low, it’s blue.
When you’re high, it’s full.
When you’re dead, you’ll finally be numb.
sushii Sep 1
Needle into you
Bores holes into my soul
Needle into me
Saves me from tragedy

Torture tools upset you
They frighten me, too
But what can you do?
It happens all too soon

And hope runs away
Far from this place
Poked him, said he was ***
Face meets metal plate

So scream, scream, little girl
Run and scream, you ******* freak
It’s all you’ve got left
Because you’re next

The blackness gets you
But you don’t understand
Just take my hand
When you’re dead, you’ll be glad

So scream, scream little boy
Run and scream, you ******* freak
It’s all you’re good for
They don’t need you anymore

Scream away your vocal chords
You ******* *****
Don’t you know you’re the reason he died?
If I could cut you, I would
But I think that’s a crime
Run until your lazy legs stop
You pathetic *****
Run, before I bleed you
Run, before I realize

How much I need you

For you don’t exist

Because this poem
Is about me.
sushii Sep 1
stomach twists in pure fear
i’ve had enough people for a year
feel their eyes burning into me
rather leave you for soul deceit

alone and focused on
i feel so far gone
i want to scream
i want to wake up from this dream

i think i look stupid
i don’t think i feel worth it
hoping for someone to take the blame
of the loneliness left untamed

will they see me write this?
can i justify this?
i just want a friend to sit down with
i don’t need a hug or a kiss

i want to go home
i want to say no
trapped in obligations
sadness in mitigation

maybe i should say something
but it might disturb something
how are you?
good, i’ve got something to do

come watch my misery
from a comfortable bird’s eye view
sushii Jul 27
you said you'd come clean,
but i know it's not easy.

you left behind emptiness--
confusion and hollowness,

as we all shuffle about in gloom,
the gloom of remembering you.

maybe it's stupid, after all, i never knew you,
but i distantly care...i do.

you give me hope--
a way to cope.

i almost feel like
your voice is my home.
sushii Jul 27
and in the words i find
no comfort as i crawl
away to my demise
sad eyes glued to a device

no poem in months
no one seemed to notice
that i missed out on the fun
and that i had nowhere to run

tags and labels
hoping i'll be noticed
but my attempts come to no avail
and my imagination has gone stale

romance is bleak
i'm not sure what to say
care is obsolete
love is incomplete

music is all i'm good for
and that's not even enough
so i sit here on the floor
begging them to shut the door

well, since there is no end in sight
maybe i will end this here
if i may and if you might
turn away if this gives you fright
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