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These voices haunt me day and night,
Their mostly mean, their not nice.
I try to survive, they jeopardize my life.
They terrorize my mind, all the time.
They push me off this mountain i climb,
Its harder to climb everytime i try.
I pray to God and ask him why‽
I look up at the sky with my eyes and cry,
Wanting to tell these voices bye.
True story
I cry myself to sleep some nights,
Thats the price I pay to roll the dice.

Should i take my life tonight?
I'm defeated from my insides.

My mind, can not rewind time,
Im denied the prize, of a second climb.

Trying everyday not to lose my mind,
I whined one to many times.

Should be a crime to deny my rights, I'm losing my mind, with these guys.

Inside my head, behind my eyes, they tell lies and become spys.

Their not nice, they want me to die.
Make me cry, every single time.

Your not real, but I still feel,
Only i can take lifes wheel.

And hope for this sickness in my brain to disappear.
F these voices
Can you hear them voices?
That only i can hear?
Whispering Warnings,
Feeling My soul up with fear.

It's hard to be lonely,
When you can hear,
Its like they are roaring,
In my ears.

I'm tired of them coming,
Oh how they just appear,
Mumblings emerging,
They will never disappear.

They act like they know me,
I try to flee,
Wanting to destroy me,
Their all i see..

Wouldn't wish this on Nobody,
Them spying on me.
My brain is lying,
Is this real or a dream?
Schizophrenia *****
I lay in bed and listen to the voices in my head, I'm fed up with them making noise and making me upset,
All they do is talk ****, nothing positive to say, i wanna yell, i want them to just go away, i act like i can't hear them, i act like i don't care, i pretend like their not real to me, but deep down im ****** scared. I hear them whisper things like shes stupid, ugly, and mean, why must they bother me, they make me want to scream. Tired of pretending everything okay, i listen to them talk **** about me every single day. What must I do, to have peace inside my own mind? I take meds that do nothing, the doctor says give it time. But The voices yelling at me, only laugh because I'm scared,  they like to see me panic, my heart pounding with endless fear. I'll stay up all night, listen to them be mean, hoping one day to be normal,  my mind to be let free.
True Story
Kai Aug 2022
Schizoaffective bipolar type is hell’s disorder.
It is a whirlwind of the curious mind.
A fusion of emotions, brick by boring brick.
Thoughts askew and twisted like twigs.  

Mania, depression, and psychosis sleep together.
Producing a break out of pandemonium.
Exulting energy, dejection, and voices taunt.
A battle within that seems to haunt.

Medication and therapy, tools of aid.
Will tackle hell’s disorder and put it in Pandora's box.
Be wary and do not open it no matter what.
Or the symptoms will crawl over every inch of your skin.

Put the pain in the past because you can still live your life.
You can work a 9 to 5, go on hikes, travel, and ride a bike.
What is something you look forward to? They always ask.
I sigh and answer: freedom.
You’ll get through this!
Zywa Sep 2023
Our souls are not whole,

they are split, in other words --

they're schizophrenic.
The imperfection of the individual souls in which the human soul manifests itself, in feeling quite little connected to each other

According to the ancient Greeks, the (separating, splitting) diaphragm was the seat of the soul

Novel "De redding van Fré Bolderhey" ("The rescue of Fré Bolderhey", 1946, Simon Vestdijk), published in 1948, chapter 10

Collection "Inmost [2]"
Abeer Apr 2023
But I'm a creep
I'm a ******
What the hell am i doing here?
I don't belong here

"There's something wrong with the waters Mr Goethe
It feels like yesterday was spring
Now it's time, it's mere time
Till the frogs hop around
Gosh god does play dice with the world
Or else how have you found Ms Goethe and that jolly girl of yours
Oh ****** me, how is she?"

"She's fine, she's dust"

"It's almost like I didn't get to meet her when she was around
For the employee party
Tell me what is she wearing so heavy that she can't move once"

"Oh no barely dirt, i shot her dead and my child"

"Oh look the frogs are here near this meadow"

lilpoiein Nov 2022
I kept thinking that was me
But that wasn’t me
That wasn’t me
Who was I then
If that wasn’t me

I couldn’t comprehend
I couldn’t come to terms

It felt so real, all the thoughts
All the imagination, it felt like me

But it wasn’t me
Kai Aug 2022
What if the voices I hear are from God?
Then I am Satan, and we’ll stay at war.
I’ll strike him so with my ruby rod.
And impale him down into the earth’s core.

What if the voices I hear are from space?
I’m an alien with horns and a spot.
No one believes these voices are my race.
They do comment and understand my thoughts.

What if the voices I hear are man-made?
I shall sail the seas like Columbus–
through the stormy nights where I greet afraid.
I’ll find the land this man encompasses.

And I’ll ask him why he made me this way.
Does this mean I’m special– brought to a curse?
These voices persecute me every day.
They have become the air that I breathe.

My mind is louder than New York City.
I tell it to shut up, and it’ll yell back.
I tell my story. Some say I’m gritty.
How can I be brave? I let them do this.

My mind dominates until I have none.
Some of them complain more than my grandma.
Voices play games with me till it’s no fun.
They nibble parts of my brain, and they gnaw.

Oh, voices, voices, why do you taunt me?
It is amusing. I don’t let others bully.
I let my mind become the enemy.
**** these voices! You have already won, you, see?

I watched “A Beautiful Mind” by John Nash.
How can this mind be beautiful when it’s all gone?
I do draw what I see throughout the day.
I realized these figures took my mind away.
Schizophrenia took my mind away...
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