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Nov 12 · 338
temporary love
Pax Nov 12
You smelled the roses
used them till Withered
and toss aside
for a new one
All you did was
temporary love.

You like new,
Young and
Shiny
But then again
You get bored
And opt
for a new one.
All you did was
temporary love.

You sing songs
Of love and
Praises
Yet you avoid
pain and Fear
of Risking it all
All you ever did was
Temporary love.
.... it was supposed to be a song but i can't bring out the melody....
Nov 5 · 365
Joker
Pax Nov 5
I am never
the comedian,
But I am
the joke.
When I was growing-up, I was different, in a way i speak, walk or talk. Yet physically i was just a normal boy growing up knowing nothing on how the society works. I was confident to what i like and don't like, then been bullied  or humilated by doing it, because it was not the norms for a typical boy. Then I became fed up with it, that in my teenages years i learned to be alone and be alone, trying to fix something that didn't need fixing. Life goes on in my teenage year, still being bullied until in my collage years that i learned which to ignore and to which to defend. In result to all this i became a loner, choosing wisely when to socialize when needed to or else i rather be alone. That is why also i never care finding someone anymore, i find comfort in my own space.  Being Old alone is not such a bad thing anymore, we all go there in some point in time.

To conclude my personal journey, I guess being bullied physically or emotionally has/have a long time effect. It will scar you, but it will never defined you, you'll get strong as you understand the viewpoint in perspective, life gets better when you know how to live a good life.
Oct 16 · 409
No concept
Pax Oct 16
What if the world
Has no concept of
Right and wrong.
No laid out truth
Nor religion?

"We often box our chaos into rules."
This was the continued response on my poem, ask the world.
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4144265/ask-the-world/
Oct 3 · 1.1k
old poets/old friends
Pax Oct 3
how i missed those
people who planted
little seeds in my heart.
seedlings to trees.
i have converse with alot of poets here in HP and WC. Though my brain might forget, the feelings they've given me lingers... YOU/they know who they are...
Sep 29 · 1.2k
mangoes
Pax Sep 29
i smell your scent,
like mangoes
i tasted them,
unripe & sour.
But I like it.
i like mangoes, i missed those uripped one, well this has dual meaning ;)
Sep 28 · 401
Confession#2
Pax Sep 28
before writing seems to comes too easy
maybe before the river of depression
rushing into my canals in all directions
with no order, no bounderies...
i guess, i've learned,
to build dams, cross section
and order...
i manage to live, and caring to what matters.
Sep 28 · 210
Confession#1
Pax Sep 28
Did I waste my life?
In waiting for something?
Or anything that can warm my cold feet.

Did I lose a part of my life?
In taking a step back.
Did I manage my self more than the love I crave?

Nothing change, I am not as proactive
and as eager to find that warmth?
Perhaps, I never care from the start.
Sep 17 · 595
Art
Pax Sep 17
Art
Poetry is a hard life. Writing is a hard life. Art, in any way, shape or form is a hard life. But we do it because we feel it in our souls. We might not necessarily be good at it. It might not be able to earn us a living, and all the words in our heart may threaten to tear us apart, or to overflow and drown the world. It may seem like too much of a burden, to have the power of the pen, to feel like you're drifting out on an ocean of emotions that flicker so quickly past you don't have time to grasp it and put it on paper, thoughts and feelings too beautiful to ever be captured by words. And so many times we want to walk away, to stop, to give up. But I think what makes it worth it isn't the result. It doesn't matter what happens in the end. Whether the words are clumsy or not. Whether anybody publishes it or not. Whether or not anyone else approves, even. It doesn't matter in the end. What matters is the journey. And honestly, for people like us? The journey itself is enough.
This was a gift, a review to my poem in Writerscafe by Rose of Gondor. I share it here for inspiration, for encoragement, and for my learning. This was one of those reviews i cherished the most, there were many in WC but this is one of them. I hope everyone can relate. Even me when i felt like not writing anything and be insecure on my poems, I remember this one and be okay with my journey.
you can read the whole piece of my poem this review is inspire from:
Link: https://www.writerscafe.org/writing/willyampax/1294269/
Aug 31 · 778
Breadcrumbs II
Pax Aug 31
i leave behind tiny breadcrumbs
for you to not be lost along the way
but then as tiny and tasty they can be
some gone eaten away by insects
and some rotten away,
that goes unnoticed.

i wish i could have given
you the wisdom of life
taught you the ways to
be kind and loved
that cherish
your foundation, but then you
being streetsmart as you
already are
never cared
but yourself.

now, i am just glad
your doing fine
on your own.
still thankful,
that you've grown
well and good.

I don't mind that
you may forget me
along the life journey
you take.  

i as alone as i am
walks like a passerby
that blends in the sidelines.
walks alone
and content
to what i have.
take care and live well
as do i...
Jul 18 · 510
Dream-Walking
Pax Jul 18
Here I am
Dream-Walking
of a farfetch reality
----
It
was
good
sometimes they call it - lucid dreams. I can't say I have those, because whenever i wake up, it will just be lost in though as you get back to reality. Before i tried writing it down but then i just lost it, and never caring anymore, maybe because some of it has some bad endings. It appears more frequent than the good ones. I like these dreams, its like i am living a different life, wearing someone else's body, and living a totally farbending reality. You can say some of it is futuristics and some reoccuring horror stuff like zombies, i don't know why, i stop watching those series long before, haha.. Now you've reach this point on the authors note,  and i thank you for lestining. and one last point, a dream is just a dream, never lose your touch to reality.
Jul 13 · 689
~ First Love ~
Pax Jul 13
Doesn't matter who
came first in your heart
as long as I was the one
who stayed
true to my love
for you.

you were never
alone...
.a quote.
first love only last as long as you stayed true to your love. sometimes the heart gets tired, it weathers as you stop nourishing its root - neglect and broken trust, a heart can die.

this one was on my draft since Jun 2018, i guess i was hesitant in sharing this because my one true love never came or appeared, its lonesome but it doesnt matter anymore. Like they say love will always arrive no matter how late.
Apr 20 · 768
Sins
Pax Apr 20
Sins, bites on your conscience
          never to your convenience.
       No salvation, No revelations.
               Unblessed the lucky
       bottomless becomes your destiny
and darkness laments, it’s quite cloudy
     wavy timelines, weary crimes
                   Brooking our doom
                  creating thy tomb
                   as deaths looms.
this was me playing with words. Yet as always there is hidden truth and meaning behind my play. I guess this is me cursing to those who are lucky enough to have sinned and get away with it. As in every truth, sins is also subjective to survival, so we should be careful who to blame.
Pax Mar 30
A faulty start, I lost all my stars
Personally, I became a recluse
Truly afraid to be abuse.
Envious of some solemn luck,
            In love, I am an ugly duck.
I **** in many ways,
seems no one is able to stay.
                     Its okay.
Just pretend, as you did not hear
            Do not count me, as I am not here.
   Moreover, hide as if I did not know your there.
So do not love me as if you needed me
       Just love me sincerely
       Or else better don’t
       I am better alone - anyways….
Thank you for all those who still read me. I am not as active as I used to be, to write and read, alot. Perhaps I became the star who lost all will to light up or the mandane things got me numb in many things. I am sorry for that.

this one is the continuation of the previous piece...
Mar 17 · 593
a shallow show
Pax Mar 17
Does your love that shallow?
              Is it just for show?
     or does it hard to swallow?
                           Are you that shy
    to evade me, then why lie?
I know -  I’m old and weary
so I worry,
I don’t want
to be played sorry.
just better not to like me at all.
Jan 11 · 2.2k
i am okay, alone...
Pax Jan 11
as i am nearing the edge of our fading sun,
as our world is one big aquarium,
- full of life...
      me, surviving the best i can, alone...
i thought i never long for that new life
born between my seeds,
all i knew is that i am okay, alone...
     no plan to plant,
just a fading list of the evading daydream...
     it's okay - everythings alright,
there's time, still,
   even if it never arrive,
     it's still alright
         for all the right
         reasons...
me trying to be positive in all things...
Dec 2023 · 1.2k
old flame
Pax Dec 2023
I've killed that old flame
felt so ashame, I'm to blame
i left to pursue nothing
it kept me running
please, lend me something
a little bit of hope
for me live on and to cope

i wish i never killed you
left you there
    in the darkness's hue
i wanted to write something good i hope but it becomes depressing when you dive directly into the darkside on how you killed your own dream.
Nov 2023 · 1.5k
flowers I need
Pax Nov 2023
I bleed to produce seed
for my flower bed of creed
yet the flowers I need
didn’t grow, instead unwanted weeds
flourish as it dirtied my deeds
upon deeds of neglect, I heed.
It started to be play with words, that eventually evolved into what you read.
words: Bleed, Seed, ****, Creed, Deed, Heed.
Pax Aug 2023
All I want was a shelter to feel comfortable with.
A warmth that you felt safe.
Trust for mutual understanding.
  And the pleasure you fully pledge to.  
  
    Seems like loving someone at this age makes us feel unsafe and unsecured, and mostly – at times, temporary.
It's been long.....
Mar 2021 · 1.4k
Quote itself
Pax Mar 2021
A poem is a story itself
it's just ambiguous
Feb 2021 · 1.3k
Mistakes
Pax Feb 2021
How overly flawed
My mistakes are,
As they flew
Breathlessly
Under the skyline.

I exhaled those regrets
But they kept on
Rebounding
Back at me.
I've written to much today
Is this enough for me to live?
Feb 2021 · 657
Dreaming
Pax Feb 2021
Death is lurking within,
have you given up on me?

Oh, sky, have mercy to
those who stop dreaming
...
Raw feelings
The unintentional reply to my old piece
https://www.writerscafe.org/writing/willyampax/1336541/
Feb 2021 · 1.0k
The irony of choices
Pax Feb 2021
I.stand to the consequence i took,
and I.walk to the reality i am facing.
A Shadow slaps, oh irony of choices
Im forever burn in your grace
A bit raw, written last 25/06/2020
Jan 2021 · 573
Justice
Pax Jan 2021
How fair is our judgment
when there's so
many bought votes ?

How can you rely on its
System when there's so
many curves
in it's backdoor ?

How long can fair play
last when your lifetime
isn't enough for your fee ?

Justice is relatively
Unfortunately to
Some.
Dec 2020 · 680
Ask the world
Pax Dec 2020
I ask the people of the world
Why must we keep boxes of
each race, barricades in each
Borders, separate lives of each
Cultures, as our truth varries in
    each mirrored choices, then we
Carry the havy consequences,
The burden of these shackled
Past - we ponder to wonder
These nightmarish Regrets
So in the end, the answer is
Subjective, rules and walls
Are there for a reasonable
Purpose
It maybe
good or bad
Light or dark
Day or night
An infinite battle
Running in circles
         to maintain
chaos and order
in one box.
we the inhabitants of the world
Conquerors to our own selfish deeds
Our Survival depends
to the equally cruel
jungle and our own fellow.
Oct 2020 · 537
Pen
Pax Oct 2020
Pen
I've lost the will to penned
the undetach cord
between real and fantasy
where I laze and daze
the uncomfortable feeling
until I become the ultimate leech
who ***** people
dry.
Sometime I get to lost to something unimportant until I don't know art anymore and the burden seems forgettable.
May 2020 · 507
All these people
Pax May 2020
If all these people hated me
will you hate me as well?

If all these people laugh at me
will you laugh with them?

If all these people left me stranded
will you leave me as well?

Well, everything is left unsaid
I hope someone knew
deep inside iM hurting myself

Sorry dramatic isn't it, sometimes this feelings comes and goes, i just want to put it out there like its nothing, like crying alone is a regular thing.. Sigh..
Apr 2020 · 396
uncharted
Pax Apr 2020
I Sense your
morning movement
as you wrap
your sweetest embrace
into my cold heart
bringing heat
to my uncharted
territory
I surrender…

I rave at your arrival
as you drain
my pool of
longing then
satisfying
my hunger
forever
I remember…
An old piece.
Apr 2020 · 538
Goodbye lullaby
Pax Apr 2020
i took a peek, then never again.

What's beyond that window
Lies a curse i did, a sacrifice
I took and a burden i carry.

Goodbye lullaby, as i sleep
soundly towards the end.
Promptly written while watching my window.
Apr 2020 · 432
empathetic
Pax Apr 2020
Why do i feel much and yet experience so little.
Perhaps its been a Curse, being to sensitive at times...
Mar 2020 · 401
Shinning
Pax Mar 2020
Your the shinning example of
Love i never got to see.
So be at ease to
The one you've found
Love grows when
U cherish it.
Mar 2020 · 426
illustionary love
Pax Mar 2020
If i kiss you here.
Will that brings us together?
Will our love be an ever after?

If i touch you there
will that bridge build faster,
for us to be together?

if this illustionary love be real
I'd be a thief, a forbidden deal
Holding a broken seal
Of the unspoken truth
Of everyone i'll hurt.

I don't want that, I'd rather be alone
And hold a heart of stone.
Be at peace to the dream out of reach.
At least i know how to love.
A fictitious write, me dreaming, kissing something forbidden. Many thanks to those who read.
Mar 2020 · 311
Failure, I
Pax Mar 2020
A repetitive omen
that we learn to avoid
over time.
Still bad at it, but im Learning though it takes time, patience is all i have.
Nov 2019 · 1.2k
Abyss
Pax Nov 2019
I fell deep into your abyss
drowning into lust
I swim yet your torrent
drag me down under.

Beyond my last breathe
I resign to sigh my regret
I died in your arms
Loving you was my sin.
Painful love
Nov 2019 · 1.3k
love me as you wish
Pax Nov 2019
you undress my heart
so delicately
untill I drown
breathlessly
in your embrace


love me as you wish
Sorry for being away...

I missed writing...
Jun 2019 · 1.5k
After all
Pax Jun 2019
its the night when your
life becomes sleepless

your day might be reckless
doing things after things
of uselessness

i am tired,
no, i don't need sleep
no, i don't need rest
i just want that feeling
i could hold and hug
to where i kiss and wish
be loved for me to love back

i sigh waiting for a sign
that i am still alive
after all.
I feel so dead, feels so cold for so long..
Happy B-Day to me.
May 2019 · 3.6k
poets
Pax May 2019
most of us are lonely
often our pools are too deep and
no one seem to bother swimming in our depths
perhaps it takes a skilled diver to understand
our inner core.

and because we feel too much
we drown ourselves in the pool of
sorrows, dying in self pity.
Apr 2019 · 2.0k
Heaven
Pax Apr 2019
My heaven is in you.
Truly i wish ill find you.
Apr 2019 · 1.4k
Bound to be deep
Pax Apr 2019
I was bound to be the only ocean
too deep for you to love.
And my waves are to harsh for you to see my Beauty.
Apr 2019 · 1.3k
Light
Pax Apr 2019
In your darkest days
I became your light
But in mine you
Never were
I wonder.
Sometimes its tiring to be just the light. You never got to see my darkness, because you were not there.
Mar 2019 · 839
never gone
Pax Mar 2019
I was never gone,
yet I was not even seen.
How could you ever love me
If you still never see me.
Jan 2019 · 1.3k
Ocean
Pax Jan 2019
Your beauty never fails in calming me.
Me seeing the ocean
Jan 2019 · 944
Near me
Pax Jan 2019
In the busiest days I still find time to look at you and just feel you near me.
a quote.
A reminder.
A love like no other.
Happy New Year.
Despite being busy,
Its a must to find time
For a love one.

Pax
Dec 2018 · 2.1k
Ocean ripple
Pax Dec 2018
A rippling effect
has the ocean
grace us, love
never left us
apart
as time
stumble into
a halt
turning
bad memories
into a
nightmare
simply forgotten,
we changed
for the
better...
A prompt of a pic. I took, see my instagram.
Dec 2018 · 463
to be loved
Pax Dec 2018
how broke are you,
to make you this weak?
how am I able to
fix you when
you, yourself
never allow me too...?

I am the little flicker
able to flip worst
into a brighter
light.

please have patient
and be lenient
to thy self
it's never too
late, to believe
and hope
a light
will come,
even a fool
has a chance
to be loved.
sometimes I am thinking on giving up this life
but some flicker keeps me going, telling me
to go on as best as I can. even if its lonely
even if its tiring, I still can carry on, I hope
so, hope ill last the best I can... so i hope you
too dear readers...
Dec 2018 · 1.0k
Sky
Pax Dec 2018
Sky
Those times when my ocean almost reach your sky.
Quote,Poem
Nov 2018 · 666
Numb
Pax Nov 2018
I scream towards emptiness
as it only echoed a numbing silence
its no used to abused
the strained voice
and struggled curses
all seems useless
so just give in
to the given
feeling
for a time
just once in a while
*Screeching in Silences*
Deprived old soul,
Poisoning my own
World.
Nov 2018 · 955
Weed
Pax Nov 2018
I was left hanging
in your garden heart
yet I was only a ****
who never got your
attention.
https://www.instagram.com/willyampax
Nov 2018 · 948
Blood
Pax Nov 2018
you lure me like
a mosquito
craving for your
blood
starving
for your
love.
But then
like any other
insects
you fear
Me.
Sep 2018 · 3.6k
Dream
Pax Sep 2018
I fall into the deepest dream.
Hug by darkness, i give in.
Then by miracle i was torn
to be reborn.
it's been long...
Jul 2018 · 4.4k
Pride
Pax Jul 2018
Your pride is too high
you can't
even fly.
just saying.
a quote
a shoutout
a reminder
its really okay to have it we all do but we need to even it out
balance is everything.
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