as i am nearing the edge of our fading sun,
as our world is one big aquarium,
- full of life...
      me, surviving the best i can, alone...
i though i never long for that new life
born between my seeds,
all i knew is that i am okay, alone...
     no plan to plant,
just a fading list of the evading daydream...
     it's okay - everythings alright,
there's time, still,
   even if it never arrive,
     it's still alright
         for all the right
         reasons...

What would I do
Who would I be
Where would I belong
If I didn't have you

Yesterday I woke up,
Felt the fresh air,
Had me going crazy,
Haven't had a breath fresh air.
Looking back thinking,
Putting my hands in the air,
Giving my self a good stretch,
What it is to be alive again!
I am always here,
As long as I'm Alive,
You are not alone,
You'll always have a home,
Since I am here,
Keep it in the past,
And don't you ever look back,
Then again even if you do,
I'll always have your back.

You've been surpassing everything,
Learning it from falling deep,
You didn't want anything.
Just looking at a fiend,
Waking up reaching the alarm,
Do I even have to ask?
Yes you had another sleepless night.
Walking up hating life,
Another day carrying regrets from ur past
Another day another bag,
Another hour and I know your calling,
Demons had you under,
Looking at you now,
I see you reaching up,
High as the ******* stars.

Yesterday I woke up,
Felt the fresh air,
Had me going crazy,
Haven't had a breath fresh air,
Looking back thinking,
Putting my hands in the air,
Giving my self a good stretch,
What it is to be alive again!
I am always here,
As long as I'm Alive,
You are not alone,
You'll always have a home,
Since I am here,
Keep it in the past,
And don't you ever look back,
Then again even if you do,
I'll always have your back.

In the new country

I follow a friend, stepping --


within his footprints.

As I sit, my heart stands and my head goes roaming.
I am half lost in thought and dilemma of growth. The wishes of growing up getting intense on my nerves as I don’t wish to get any younger much as age keeps me on the advance.
Now, I count the mornings, days and the nights knowing it’s easy to slumber but not with the weight of my dreams. When I look at the mark of 100% and haven’t attained close to 50% I go weary. Midlife crisis has struck with its luggage of famous responsibilities.
I will not stay comfortable because my age mates aren’t where my focus is for I believe I need to set the bar for myself and my companions. The thought of it itches so bad so bad to bring me butterflies, and then goes insecurity, to loose what you already have grip on. Family, closet friends and your hustling grounds.
To this point the rhyme of Psalms 23 keep rolling on my lips as my eyes are close in meditation, every time I sit even when I go to bed. I want to raise my hand to admit it’s not easy being an adult, neither is it so hard. The difference comes when we fail to strike a balance to know WHAT GOES ON AND WHAT WE MUST LET GO?
In the end I come to appreciate Life, Life God has given me and has given us. Something I have as the biggest asset I run to the third floor.
I am not concerning about who went there first; I am in contemplation of the uniqueness I will bring to the table. We nearly live half of our lives in 20’s as it’s believed to be a time of adventure. Well I can’t regret want I went through for these lessons I am ready to carry to the third floor and a warning to myself that I won’t tolerate anything or even myself for standing in my way. To those who choose us and set to battle and see us better, cheers and to blood suckers against our progress talk to the hand.

The sun shower you special,
speak sparkles
Into your soul
Till you are whole
With all the hope
Of new growth.

Eyes open into newness
And find a smile
Dimpled giddy
With the happiness
That took only one look to awaken
And one little life to nurture.
Nine months worth of waiting
Melt into a promise of forever.
My love for you is an endless
Beautiful thing.
Bigger than the both of us
Loud and bellowing.
But I whisper it
because I want to let you sleep.

Normally I wouldn't start this way,
But-
Its not you , its always me,
Well I suppose in a fashion you are blameless to a point,
Equating you with love and comfort was a mistake,

I need to set some healthy boundaries,
In the end I hope we can be friends,
but for now,
Its arms length
Till I get my mental strength.

i used to hide from your pain
change myself for you
and i called it love
blindly following you
until you broke me

so i sat in my room eating icecream
when was the last time i was without you?
my heart is bruised, but its healing
cause i found people
that loved me through my problems
and they mended my tender heart

so that one day,
i can truly find love
and be reborn