Pax Jun 5
Doesn't matter who
come first in your heart
as long as I was the one
who stayed
true to my love
for you.

you were never
alone...
first love only last as long as you stayed true to your love. sometimes the heart gets tired, it weathers as you stop nourishing its root - neglect and broken trust, a heart can die.

thanks for reading.
Pax May 21
Too many shattered Mirrors
Mirroring my sins.

Too many walls
Hindering my wings.

My growth remains
  still
as silence Kills.

How do you love the
Unloved?
I was never a writer
I was just some poet
Who seek some
understanding in my
understatement @pax

at times I feel so tired...
thanks to those who still read me..
Pax May 8
My life is a stroke of luck
in order to have a good life,
Ive sacrifice the blooming
Scent of lotus
Never having
Never falling
only taking
Comfort on the
Sidelines and
Shadowy shelters,
Seems happiness
has evaded me....
I leave with this quote of mine as a reminder for me:

The thing about waiting is
it takes much longer
since from the start
you never make a move.
check the list and locker
paint the outside platinum
inside grows fetid and moldy

follow rules set by gold
bullying and strong
myriad and baffling

and the first in line
are rewarded outside
of heaven's tapered gate

Agape's servants safely
sail around life's breakers
walking pax' level path
2018 © Christos Victor

Matthew 20:16 (NIV) “So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”
Matthew 23:11 "The greatest among you will be your servant."
Pax Apr 6
You've enslaved my heart
before I could ever say
I'm willing.
a quote

I want to say my thanks to my long time friend beth by saying this: your writing searches for truth from our deepest wells of feeling.
Pax Apr 1
You were the dimlit star
I am trying to reach.

You've lost much
of your glow
how I wish
my light would reach you, and
teach you
     that in life
you're ever so beautiful.

How the harsh words of the world
barricades you soft spoken heart
into stones.
thank you all in reading my lightly lit star in my so dim world.

ive secluded much of my world into the four corners of my home, hated to see how harsh can the world judge me. also hated this part of me, a coward. I needed to remind myself of this feeling to move forward even a little step will do.
Pax Mar 26
You've loved them
enough to know,
- You'd lost.
A quote
Terry Collett Mar 18
You were older than I was:
nineteen years older, old
enough to be my mother

not my lover, but you were,
each part of you, that dyed
blonde hair, Rubenesque

figure, blue eyes, sexy voice,
and us making out either
in your lounge on the blue

sofa or in your double bed
with moonlight pouring in
on us. You liked the bottle

of wine or scotch I brought,
the Mahler 1st or 5th, small
talk, the big talk. You were

the seduced of my youth
and it was fine, it was an
education of one to one,

a kiss and never tell or tell,
but not with whom or where.
I sailed you through Seven

Seas, climbed your mountain
peaks, surveyed your valleys
of dark and love and lust.

You rest now, in God's peace,
I hope and I trust.
Andy Randell Feb 18
I'd feel so at home in Wyoming;
Married to my television
Cigarettes for breakfast
I'm at peace with my shaking
Clipping branches of my tree
To feed my precious pets

I never played the game
Rolling dice around my teeth
But I keep my eyes on the window
Let the creeping wind in my belly
Be all that makes sense
Thrown like a doll in the corner
Unblinking for the longest time
Measured by the shift and click
Twisted legs coiled like cables
Sealing Matthew into his box

America's fables never spoken
Her reputation and misadventures undeserved
Fit like latex on an amateur surgeon
My cardboard house unfolded
Everything in a tanned leather briefcase
I just forgot the combination
827 - 125 and the button slides

Why can't I leave my things in a crate
And ship myself off to a Grecian island?
I could be sung to sleep
Just as in my room
But now, my dear Johnny, Oldboy,
It's gloaming on Elysium
My chest is still beaten upon
I file the cold edges round
Empty another carton and call it a day
Pax Jan 23
Never have i lived to cherish
a bloosoming flower nor
never have i found one
to begin with.

Never have i been cherished
for people only see my dying
roots nor
never have i reach my full
growth,
i remain the
sapling who have
been judge too
      many to count.

Never have i want to reach
the losing end
a certain limit
So near, i fear.....
a poet for me - are thinker, observer, admirer of beauty, emotionaly smart but most at the time they're sad people looking for  understanding. @pax
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